Try to schedule it so your first payment is due May 22.
No no no. All the predictions work out to be the same, that’s why they HAVE to be true!!! I mean, what are the chances that both Christianity AND pre-Columbian Mayan prophecies converge, unless It’s All Part Of A Higher Plan That Only A Few Have Glimpsed?
How can the two predictions be the same, when their dates are over a year apart? Very simple. First, that’s a classic fencepost error on the 2011 date. Whoever did that arithmetic forgot that our reckoning begins with calendar year 1, not 0. It’s the same fallacy that makes most people think the 21st Century began at midnight of Jan. 1st, 2000.
That accounts for the year. But the two dates are still off from each other by about 7 months. Well that’s because the Christian prophecy is based on a Gregorian calendar, and the Mayan New Year falls in July of the Gregorian calendar. That accounts for the difference between May and December.
But we’re still off by a few days - May 21st versus December 12th. Where’s that come from? Well remember, the European Contact with the Maya was in the early to mid 1500s, when the Julian calendar was still in use (the Gregorian Calendar reform happened in 1582). That was when Pope Gregory “dropped” 10 days from the calendar that year to get it back in sync with the true solar calendar due to incorrect the leap year calibration under the former Julian convention. So we need to subtract 10 days from the pre-Columbian Mayan date to account for the difference.
What’s that you say? That’s one too many days, we were only 9 days off (21-12)? Yes, but remember the time zone difference! Pope Gregory was in Rome, which is east of the Prime Meridian and the Maya were in the Yucatan south of Mexico far to the west. When the sun rises in Rome it’s still night time in Guatemala.
So not only do the two predictions JIVE but it suggests the End Of Days will be a rolling wave going east to west, following the rising sun!
Make sure to get Raptured from New Zealand to avoid that line at the Heavenly check-in counter!
Well, by that time, you should know whether you’re facing The End of Oil, or The Zombie Apocolypse, or Rebellious Computers, or what…
Some young film maker really needs to join these people for the next couple months and make a documentary. All the interviews with it’s members all leading up to the big… nothing. What an awesome film to be able to see their reactions on May 21st and begin to document all their excuses on May 22nd.
Please tell me someone is making this film.
I wish I could.
Ever read the book, When Prophecy Fails? The one thing that won’t happen is for them to say, “I guess we were wrong, and the world isn’t coming to an end after all! Maybe we relied too much on our interpretation of the Bible.”
More likely, they will recalculate and come up with a new and improved date. Sure, a few members on the fringe will drop out, but most of them will recycle the whole process. “We just had a small problem. But we’ve got it now!”
Good idea! Add in our small total population and large proportion of godless heathens and you’re practically guaranteed to get a first-class seat if you get Raptured from here. 
shiftless, have you asked the owner to sign over the house to you? Date the contract to May 22nd? As an act of charity you understand, I mean, they won’t be needing it, and an act of charity of that magnitude wouldn’t go astray surely…
I’m assuming all three, of course.
Was that book
5/5/2000
ICE
The Ultimate Disaster
perchance? I used to see that book on the shelf at my local library as a kid and wonder idly if anything would really happen on May 5th, 2000. Funnily enough, there are lots of reviews at the book’s Amazon page explaining why the book is still super-awesome and relevant despite the unfortunately chosen title and prediction date.
That made me LOL.
I for one don’t plan on drinking anything they hand out.
Oh . . . . . DUDE!!! You are awesome.
That’s happened to these folks already:
Yeah me too. Guess this means we have to reschedule the orgy.
Oh, I need a link to that. I don’t think it’s allowed for snark reasons, but if you could PM it to me, I’d be grateful.
I can skip my anniversary on the 24th! I’m not going to tell my wife though. No reason to upset her. I can also keep putting off that honey-do list she has been bugging me about.
Better yet just have two. I mean really the sky is the limit on orgies.
When the end of the world comes, fuck preparation. I’ll be dead, so why prepare anything?
My personal calendar had a year 0 so Jan 1, 2000 was the beginning of my millennium.
If you live on Chatham Island will you be the first or last to be enraptured. (Chatham island is actually just east of the date line but, being owned by NZ uses the earlier date, but 45 minute later time, so actually greets the new day first in the entire world.)
Awww, I’d feel bad. It won’t be long before I’m gonna need their advice about baby ear infections and stuff. But… there are plenty of mommy boards and I bet most of them are equally silly.
So in April, can we expect a GD thread complaining that speculators inspired by the example of Nineveh are pushing up the price of sackcloth and ashes, and that we should burn down a few forests to compensate?