When I lived in Berlin, I quickly learned not to tell anyone it was my birthday!
It is a custom in Germany that when it is your birthday, YOU buy all the drinks for all your friends at the bar, YOU pay for your birthday cake and food and drinks at home, and YOU do all the work and planning and make sure everyone is invited. People actually get pissed off if they are not invited for the free food and drinks.
It got to be a very pricey, time consuming event.
When I moved back to the states, I continued to keep my birthdays low-key, and only a few people even know when it is, and I never make a big deal of it.
So - sorry you feel this way, but for me, I am just as happy to let that day pass by quietly.
Oh, that has happened. At least once that I can remember. I can always hold it over her head for a guilt trip.
Same in India. And if they find out you held out and didn’t tell anyone, they make you take them out anyway. There’s also a big deal about keeping you up until midnight so they be the “first” to wish you happy birthday and they all want to smear cake in your face. It’s a real ordeal.
Happy Birthday! A little late, but still.
I won’t say it shouldn’t be important to you, because if your feelings are hurt it’s still a bummer. But I do agree with some others here–when it’s your birthday, plan to celebrate! Tell everyone when and where you’re going and get that plan of action going.
On my birthday I either take my family out (my treat) or I cook for everyone. As is that’s anything new, heh.
To some people, birthdays aren’t that big of a deal. I’m like that, and consider it a good thing if I remember to send a Happy Birthday text sometime during the month of your birthday.
On the other hand, I spontaneously buy presents for my friends if I see something that they will like. I sent two batches of flowers this past week for friends who were going through a hard time. So it’s not that I’m not thinking of them; I’m just not necessarily thinking of them on a specific date.
In short, don’t get caught up in trivial slights. There are far more important things in life.
I’d give you an 8, probably higher if you grew your hair out a little. If the guy in the photo was at a bar and I glanced at him, I’d think “Hey, he’s pretty good lookin’.”
Exactly. I usually send out an email about two weeks in advance, letting people know where the dinner is going to be held and when, and could they please RSVP so I can make the reservation?
If you look at my other thread, you’ll see that my friends forgot my birthday, too. It really upset me…for about 5 minutes. Then I realized I was using remembering my birthday as a measure of how much they cared about me, and that’s the kind of stupid mistake young-and-foolish people make. (“He forgot our anniversary, so he doesn’t really loooooove me!”) I am not the center of their lives. Should I expect to be?
I don’t like to blow my own horn, but I didn’t want to be pathetically alone, either–and it’s my first birthday since my mom passed, so I’m especially wary of self-pity. I asked for suggestions here on IMHO and got quite a few excellent ones on the “How to Celebrate a Birthday Alone” thread. Basically, I’m going to be grateful I’m alive, give to others, and be happy as can be. I think that’s a nice tribute to my beloved mother, too. Why not do something nice for your friends on your special day?
I love my birthday, but I never expect anyone else to remember it. I start thinking about what I’m going to do for my birthday as soon as Christmas is over (bday is at the end of Jan). If I feel like I want to spend it with my friends, I call them up and invite them over or plan an evening out. All of my friends are like this, too.
I’d be astonished if any of my friends remembered my birthday. I barely remember it myself. I don’t get all the fuss about birthdays, beyond childhood.
I forget my parents’ birthdays, my friends’ birthdays and my significant others’ birthdays. Sorry, they just don’t seem important to me. If Facebook tells me it’s someone’s birthday I tell them “Happy birthday!” on their wall and that’s about it. People don’t remember my birthday either so I don’t really see it as a big deal.
I don’t expect anyone to make a big deal out of my birthday, but I do like to be wished happy birthday, so - I remind them. It’s not a big deal, just say, “Hey, it’s my birthday”.
But no one calls me specially on my birthday! You saw both of them on Friday, you should have said something. “Hey, guys, aren’t you forgetting something? It’s my birthday!” And they wish you happy birthday and ask if you want to go out or something and you say yes or no, and we all move on.
I am like you - I remember everyone’s birthdays. But as I grow older I realize that’s not a skill everyone has…it doesn’t make them bad people, they just have different skills.
I read through the entire thread and I think this is the best answer.
Honestly, adults caring about birthdays and being acknowledged for simply being born seems creepy and immature to me. Your family should remember. Friends? I don’t expect my friends to take even a moment out of their lives to celebrate the importance of ME. That ended as a child along with birthday hates and cake and ice cream.
I do post on their wall at least. I mean i am already checking facebook and there is a large reminder right there and probably a ton of well wishes from other friends as well, i’d be kinda dickish not to post something at that point.
