I have a suggestion to make.
This is the conversation that I think you should have with your Mom.
But it’s very important that you be only calm, you must demonstrate maturity and restraint in the face of your own anger and frustration. This is key. And you should also undertake this converstation only once you have accepted that you will not change her mind, you are not going. It’s not going to go well if you have this chat with an agenda of changing something. First, accept this is how it is, and you are not going to change it. When you are in that head space, tell your Mom you’d like to discuss something important with her.
Tell her you want to talk about this event and your non attendance. Be up front and honest, tell her you don’t want to argue or fight or to change her mind you just want to express what you feel. Then say something along these lines, change up the words so it sounds like you, and remain calm and speak in an soft even voice and do Not expect to change anything;
"Your choice makes me feel that you don’t trust me. Yes, I know you’ll say, it’s the big bad city you don’t trust. But really, you don’t trust me to know trouble when I see it and take the proper steps, in a timely fashion to avoid it. You don’t trust me to pay attention to my surroundings, strangers, dangers. Your decision seems based entirely on location and time of day. This seems to ignore that there is plenty of trouble available to this teenager to get into at school, at friends houses and in the day time. I have successfully negotiated my way around these traps and I wager I’m a little better at spotting it and avoiding it than you are for all your years. Your decision utterly fails to acknowledge this in any way. This event was very important to me, but not nearly as important as knowing that you feel you can trust me. I feel I have earned the right to show you just how trustworthy I am. I am anxious to show the world, and you, the sort of adult I am planning to become. I know you will be proud and impressed by that adult, and am feeling very frustrated as a result of your decision.
I have been encouraged by some to make up a lie, or to sneak out, always with the justification that, “you’re so trustworthy, you know there won’t be any problems, what can it hurt?” Well, it would hurt my relationship with you and demonstrate that I am, indeed, not to be trusted. More importantly, it’s not who I am, I think you already know this about me.
I cannot help but think that, over the next few years, it will of so much importance that we can have trust between us. Without a doubt there will be times, when it will be very important (for me) to have trust in you, I can only hope I do not disappoint you, certainly that is my aim. However, on this occcasion, it was very important (for me) for you to have trust in me. Forgive for being disappointed that you can’t seem to find that trust.
Now I understand that conflict and differences of opinions are unavoidable in the teenage - parent relationship and I sure don’t believe I can win every battle. But I wanted you to know that I was really looking forward to this event as my first opportunity to shine as an adult, that I was ready and prepared, and that is the real opportunity I am missing. I guess I’m just trying to say, more difficult conflict may lie ahead of us, and difficult challenges surely, to navigate successfully through those waters will be smoother by far if I know I can trust you. But adult relationships are two way streets, can I continue to place trust in people who have none for me? Who cannot or will not recognise my maturity and see my worthiness?
