Penguins die in crash, octopus uninjured

[gigi]

@Draelin

Guy walks into a bar, looking very shaken, orders a shot.
Bartender says “Hey, buddy, you okay?”
Guy replies, “Lemme ask you something. How tall is a penguin?”
Bartender looks at him in confusion, but says “I think about three feet or so, why?”
Guy says “Because I think I just ran over a nun, that’s why.”

Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week. Be sure to tip your moderators.

I thought the secret to good comedy was timing?

[5que]

The penguins blew a seal.

[Draelin]

@gigi

I thought the secret to good comedy was timing?

Nah, the secret to good comedy is finishing my coffee before I post anything in the morning.

[Subway_Prophet]

@5que

The penguins blew a seal.

Hey, keep their private lives out of it, ok, pal?

[Pixisis]

@5que

The penguins blew a seal.

Nah, they just had an ice cream cone …

[ZebraShaSha]

Can you imagine trying to identify the bodies? “Fuck, no, Steve, don’t let it be you! Or wait, is that Gary? Or wait, Carl, CARL?! No… Shit, why were you all wearing tuxedos?!”

[running_coach]

What does a penguin get when he crosses the road?

Halfway.

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

@Pixisis

Nah, they just had an ice cream cone …

Was it Sealtest ice cream?

[El_Kabong]

I live in the Houston area, and about two months ago I was traversing the 610 loop late at night when I suddenly got stuck in a knot of traffic at the I-45 interchange. Turned out a rodeo bull had somehow got onto the highway, whereupon it was struck at high speed by someone in a Ford pickup. Lord, what a mess.

This place is nuts, I tells ya.

[Declan]

@EddyTeddyFreddy

That is the cnn.com headline link for this stirring drama of life and death on a Texas highway.
Could have been worse, though; could have been snakes in a lane:
No word on whether the octopus was driving.

Not bad

Not one microsoft/linux reference

Declan

[Gangster_Octopus]

@EddyTeddyFreddy

That is the cnn.com headline link for this stirring drama of life and death on a Texas highway.
Could have been worse, though; could have been snakes in a lane:
No word on whether the octopus was driving.

Thank God the Octopus is OK!

[Johnny_L.A]

@Gangster Octopus

Thank God the Octopus is OK!

Thank Cthulhu the octopus is okay!

[xizor]

“There was another truck full of snakes and alligators that was an hour ahead of them…”

Snakes on a truck? Was Samuel Jackson driving?

[simster]

@nd_n8

Local reports say the penguin that was driving was distracted by a large, sweaty, mostly dead cat. The cat was quoted as saying “Akkkk Thbbtbt”

As an Indianapolis native, I for one will miss our late penguin overlords.

Hi Bill!

[Ghanima]

I’d like to be, in the backseat
With an octopus who’s drivin’, from the zoo
He’d let us in, all us penguins,
in his octupus’ backseat, in the shade.

We would be thrown, breaking our bones
To our little hideaway along the road
Resting our head, on the road bed
In an tiny little ditch along the road

[Exgineer]

@Anaamika

If I hit a penguin I’d never drive again.

Are you kidding me?

If I saw a penguin in the road I’d sort of aim for it, because then I could go down to the gun club and say “Hey, I bagged a penguin the other day.”

[Anaamika]

@Exgineer

Are you kidding me?

If I saw a penguin in the road I’d sort of aim for it, because then I could go down to the gun club and say “Hey, I bagged a penguin the other day.”

:eek: You bastard. You’re going to hell!

[Draelin]

@Anaamika

:eek: You bastard. You’re going to hell!

And I’ll sit next to him, because I thought that was damn funny.

[Exgineer]

Me and Drae, sittin’ on the bus to hell.

I wonder if penguin tastes better broiled or fried.

[Draelin]

@Exgineer

I wonder if penguin tastes better broiled or fried.

I really think Penguin Parm is the way to go with this.