Ew. I cannot tell you just what I feel about women who do this. I alternate between amusement, contempt and condescension. Do they really think they’re that “hot”? Trust me, they’re not. And why would that be the expression you would want to leave with anyone in a professional setting? (barring your “profession” being porn or prostitution).
Slutwear for kids is disturbing–it was hard to find stuff for my daughter that wasn’t just nasty. But for petite adults, it’s just creepy.
My husband has had to give that talk to some of the women he works with-- and he works in a prison!
I know, it’s unbelieveable, isn’t it!? I’ve seen some non-security female staff dress like streetwalkers, in an all male max security facility!
Our current Warden is a woman, and she don’t allow that! Not that her predecessor, a man, did. But she’s good at snuffing it out FAST.
We men hate it when women do that.
As to the OP I have known people in my past I’m glad aren’t in my life anymore and I’ll leave it at that.
And some women look askance at the men who actually fall for the women who dress like hootchie mamas. I always wonder–does he have a functioning cerebral cortex? :dubious:
I am glad that I don’t have a lot of people like the OP enquired about. Now, if the question had been who do you want out of your life now? I’d have more…
Whew… good topic, OP.
Let’s see, the first person to get the boot from my life was my ex-stepdad. He was sexually abusive to me and an all around cheating jackass to my mom. I don’t miss (or really remember) anything about him anymore. He married my mom when I was 4 or 5 and they divorced when I was 13-14.
My ex-stepmom. (man, my parents made some questionable choices after divorcing one another, huh?) She was a pretty fun person who got along great with kids, but went out of her way to make me feel shitty as a kid. She hated how like my mom I was and hated that there was someone in my fathers life that took precedence over her.
When I got older, we got along a lot better, but she was bipolar and addicted to several prescription medications (not sure what kind) which would cause her to lash out and do weird things… like, wake my dad up by punching him in the head. :eek:
She called me one day FUHREEEEAKING out because she and my dad got into a physical altercation. When I didn’t call her back immediately (I wanted to talk to my dad first and get the whole story), she left me a few VM’s calling me a “bitch” and then proceeded to call a friend of mine to find out where I was. When my friend told her that I was picking up a birthday cake for someone, she replied, “Yeah, like she needs cake.”
STEEEERIKE THREE, BATSHIT. I don’t miss her either. She was married to my dad from the time I was 4 until I was 24. She told my dad in the middle of a heated argument that I was the only girl he’d ever loved and he stopped mid-fight and said, “Yeah, I guess that’s true.” Thanks dad. :smack: It’s no wonder she lashed out at me a bit too.
My ex-boyfriend. We dated off and on for almost 6 years and I owe most of my intellectual development to his ambitious encouragement, but good LORD he had emotional issues. He threatened to break into my apartment and steal the cat that he left with me when he moved out to “Go Kerouac and travel to California” a couple years before. He screamed at me on the phone for over an hour, making several threats and hitting every button that I have.
That conversation brought all previous conversations of that caliber into sharp focus. This man once told me over a heated (read: he was SCREAMING and my phone was rattling) conversation, “You’ll never be okay.” More than once he explained to me that I was a bad mom… and that it is what it is… but that I need to accept it. I already felt horrible because my son was living with my mom and I KNEW my life was a wreck, but way to point out the obvious with a big, sharp knife.
He was really emotional and really good at guarding his emotion by hitting you where it hurts the most. I feel bad that it ended like it did, because he was otherwise a brilliant and generous-to-a-fault person. But I just couldn’t sustain that level of emotional combat anymore. I miss our conversations and his spark sometimes, but I still cry over words thrown between us years ago. What a mess. I haven’t seen him since he crashed my sisters wedding (respectfully, he was very quiet and didn’t bring any attention to himself… he’d known her since she was a kid and wanted to see her get married) and haven’t heard his voice since he called (a week or so after said wedding) threatening to steal the cat. I spoke to him online a month or two before my grandma died last May because he found out she was ill and wanted to be able to say goodbye as they were pretty close. I don’t know if he ever did get the chance to say his goodbyes, but I did provide him with the information to do so.
A boss I once had said something so poignant to me when my relationship with my ex-stepmom was going through it’s death throes.
She said, “The best part about becoming an adult is that you get to absolutely choose who is and isn’t a part of your life.” It was an excellent thing to say to me at the time.
When circus elephants are babies, they are tied to small stakes in the ground. When the elephant grows large enough to pull the stakes from the ground with little to no effort, it doesn’t occur to them to even try to break free.
Pulling those stakes out of the ground and walking away is the single most liberating experience I’ve ever had.
A Scottish friend in Berlin…I told him I was Gay. One night, we both got loaded in an Irish bar and I went back to his place on my way home. We talked for awhile, had some more to drink at his apartment and he invited me to sleep on his couch. It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep. Suddenly, in the middle of the night, he came out of his bedroom into the living room and, well, he initiated a very lively sexual evening. The next morning it was the old, “gee was I drunk last night” story. Been there done that. If that had been the end of the story, fine. But no…he spread rumors about me that I only found out about months later - all to cover his sorry in-the-closet-ass…the thing that pissed me off was that all the rumors were false, and they screwed up some good friendships I had at the time. I was no saint, but trust me, I didn’t deserve that bullshit. I had not told a single person about that night, but trust me, when I found out what he had done, I outed that SOB to every person who knew him.
Pope John Paul 2. Nice guy, but he could bore for Poland. Yes, I know you love Jesus, but please, dude, get another topic of conversation. I used to block his MSN quite a bit.
You just perfectly described a friend that I dropped recently, for pretty much the same reasons. The last “incident” occurred when she made up something in her head that I did to offend her, and then proceeded to “fight” with me about it via e-mail for about a week. She was take-violent-action furious with me over something that hadn’t even happened. It took three e-mails for me to figure out exactly what she was mad for, and then I realized… hey, man, my friend is a way sick puppy.
I think these people have Borderline Personality Disorder, but I am not qualified to diagnose such issues and if I was, I’d probably want to be really far away from them anyway. I don’t miss the drama one little bit.
Karen, a friend I met in my freshman year of college. At least I’d thought she was a friend. I was devasted when I learned that she’d only been interested in converting me to her ultra-conservative faith. I cut off all contact with her after she sent me an snarky e-mail saying that all of her friends shared her beliefs (ie, that anyone who didn’t belong to her church was a devil worshipper) and accused me of “trying to turn [her] away from Jesus.”
Last year she called me out of the blue (at work, no less). She told me that she wanted to apologize for her part in “our misunderstanding” and that she wanted us to be friends again. I was so shaken that I couldn’t even speak to her. I e-mailed her when I got home and told her that it wouldn’t work out. Cowardly, maybe, but I didn’t want to hear her playing the martyr on the phone.
From what I’ve heard, she lost quite a few of her college friends. I’m really not surprised.
For years I had a “friend” that I didn’t really enjoy, but I’d known since we were eight years old, so I felt like at that point, she was family, and you don’t kick family to the curb.
She was depressed, bitter, and boring as hell. She never had anything nice to say about anyone or anything, and if people around her dared to have a good time, her disapproval was palpable. She could suck the joy out of a room in 2.5 seconds.
I eventually decided I had to stop subjecting my other friends to her, but for another couple of years I still saw her once or twice a week. We’d talk about how unhappy she was, and I finally convinced her to see a doctor, who put her on anti-depressants. For six months, she was like a completely different person. She smiled! She showed interest in people, things, and events! She stopped telling me how I was setting a bad example for my daughter with my irresponsible insistence on occasionally enjoying myself! I think I actually heard her laugh without bitterness once!
Then she went off the meds. When I asked her why, she said that she didn’t feel like herself. I told her that was kind of the point, since “herself” was miserable, socially unacceptable, and barely employable. I encouraged her to talk to her doctor and try a different medication. She refused, and launched into a rant about how the medication made her like people she shouldn’t like, enjoy things she shouldn’t enjoy, and care about things she shouldn’t care about. And I realized that she actually perceived her dismal and joyless existence as the “correct” and “proper” and “adult” way to be.
The day I told her that she’d exhausted my considerable compassion and needed to go was one of the best days of my life. It was like being half a ton lighter.
I went to a Christian school as a kid, and knew several people like this, but they had their religion as an excuse for it.
The saddest thing is, she’s an athiest. It’s not like she even thinks all this misery is her ticket to heaven.
“The best part about becoming an adult is that you get to absolutely choose who is and isn’t a part of your life.”
Sometimes, you’re just cruising through a thread, picking up small tidbits about life and then WHAM , something clubs you over the head and says something meaningful to you? That’s what this quote did for me … thanks for sharing it.
Hi Dogzilla: I’ve always thought that my ex-friend had (and has) BPD. When things got really screwy I spoke to a psychologist friend who also thought it was BPD-related and advised me that the friendship just wasn’t repairable 
Well, I think I can speak for the Mountaineers on the board and say that the feeling is quite mutual!