Gargling a mouthful of nuketastic mouthwash.
(As noted by others: also from experience.)
Riding down a curvy twisty road on your motorcycle. (Been there, done that)
During mouth to mouth resuscitation.
Performing open-heart surgery.
I was running a flu during the chemistry practical exam when taking my O’levels. I was sneezing and sneezing, and all the yucky stuff from my nose ended up all over the test tubes, into the beakers and whatever else there is. That might be a reason why I never got the pH value for that acidic test right…
Also, good luck to you if you sneeze while in a military parade. Double good luck to you if it is during a proflic national event.
Patty O’Levels.
Damn.
I don’t smoke, but it seems that sneezing while lighting a cigarette could be an enlightening experience.
I forgot to mention: * in the shower.*
Sure, there’s soap there so you can wash your hands, but man that’s awkward.
There is plenty of running water available. Sneezing in the shower is like peeing in the shower…let the water do its work. No hu-hu.
Both of these have happened to me and man what a mess. Lucikly, I was alone in the bathroom both times.
While vomitting.
During a staring contest where the loser gets beheaded.
I hate starting any comment by saying “True story…” but it seems appropriate here.
Opening Day at Dodger Stadium in 2003, a group of friends with me at the game ready for a good time (it’s an annual tradition for us to ditch work on Opening Day and go together). Well, the pre-game activities are all very patriotic due to the war, and the PA announcer then asks for a moment of silence to honor the men and women who have lost their lives overseas.
…
…
“AAA-CHOOOOOOOO!!!”
Honestly, none of us meant any disrespect, but none of us could completely hold in our sniggering and church-giggles, especially since my friend’s sneeze almost seemed to echo through the stadium in the silence. And, unfortunately, the pre-game sneeze has now also become an annual tradition. 
How about when doing all three of those at once? 
Bad times to sneeze:
While putting in your contact lenses.
Saying your vows at your wedding.
While shaving.
Yeah, but I’m pretty sure snot is non-polar, so the water just spreads it around.
Interesting. Being allergic to dogs teaches you the same thing, for essentially the same reason.
–Cliffy
From here:
*Grease and oil are nonpolar and insoluble in water. When soap and soiling oils are mixed, the nonpolar hydrocarbon portion of the micelles break up the nonpolar oil molecules. A different type of micelle then forms, with nonpolar soiling molecules in the center. Thus, grease and oil and the ‘dirt’ attached to them are caught inside the micelle and can be rinsed away. *
It would seem to me that this would work on snot as well, or did I sleep through that lecture in BioChem?
When you’re having a pertussis swab done. (nb: this consists of a loooong q-tip being stuffed up your nostril and all the way back to you throat)
During a surrender ceremony.
Just before swinging the axe/pulling the gallows lever as an executioner.
During your superhero “origin.”
The contact lens one sucks big time.
The first time you’re ever slow-dancing with a boy. At the reception after your bat mitzvah, as all your friends and family are watching you. (sigh from experience.)
While up in front of everyone, chanting from the torah, during your bat mitzvah. (see above).
While having X-rays taken. Especially dental X-rays, because if you’re me, those stupid little film things they jam in your mouth hurt, and you’ll smack your head hard into the actual camera thing. But it’s not much fun either when you’re having any x-rays taken, because then they’re going to have to do it again. (yeah, experience)
Right as you’re answering the phone. “Hellchooooooo!”
While wearing a low-cut shirt, with your hands full. Nothing quite like having a damp bosom.
I’ve got a good one:
TMI warning
I had the flu on a rainy morning that I had to give a theatre history presentation on. I spent most of the morning shitting my guts out, so I figured I was in the clear. During my crossing guard shift before school, I felt that dreaded rumbling in my stomach. I was the only guard there, and because of poor visibility I just KNEW someone would get hit/hurt/etc if I left my post to go take a dump. So I held it, for an agonizing fifty minutes. I was almost done, and was a little at east when it happened.
You know how hard it is to hold it when you have diarrhea? Just thinking what would happen if you happened to sneeze at that particular moment of gastric anarchy. Yep, I was holding it till I sneeze, and the sneezing caused me to sneeze out my ass, so to speak. The worst part was having to waddle around in my own filth for another ten minutes, since technically I wasn’t finished at work just yet. As soon as I was, I went to the school across the street and used their restroom to clean myself up and flush the evidence.
I performed a scene from Moliere’s “Tartuffe” perfectly memorized, all while going commando during the presentation. I got an A
A few months later, when I was performing in “The Bacchae” walking around in this loincloth and flesh-colored underpants, I sneezed during a dress rehearsal and the stage manager yelped in shock when it caused the back of my outfit to kind of flip up and she thoughtshe saw my bare ass for a second :rolleyes:
I sneeze in tens or dozens. Explosively. Hard enough and long enough that I have to put down whatever I’m doing to sneeze.
I have sneezed:
[ul]
[li]while putting on eyeliner[/li][li]while putting on other makeup including lipstick[/li][li]while rowing (absolutely terrible- we were rowing hard and I screwed up the set and point with 11 explosive sneezes causing my oar to chop in and out of the water)[/li][li]while petting a dog and while petting a cat[/li][li]when I had to pee REALLY bad[/li][li]while holding microscope slides[/li][li]while carrying boiling water[/li][li]in the shower[/li][li]while making out[/li][li]while putting in contacts[/li][li]when I was in a hurry (it made me like 5 minutes late)[/li][li]with a stack of books on my desk (gave myself a bruise)[/li][li]while torching creme brulees[/li][li]while shaving[/li][li]during really quiet tests[/li][/ul]
This can’t be normal. I’m considering getting an allergy test done because there’s something out there messing with my nose.
<Way, way, way TMI> One time, I was getting oral sex from the boyfriend and he had a sneezing attack. I think he said he counted something like 24 sneezes. All in a row, in like a two minute time span. I couldn’t stop laughing, and we still laugh about it! Sorry. </TMI>