Is General Order 24 still in effect in Picard’s day?
For or against?
Dunno if this is Bosda’s source, but Star Fleet Battles did flesh out the Orion Pirates quite a bit. Not sure it’s canon, though.
On topic, I’d advise the Federation to get tough with the Klingons and Romulans. You’re either on board or you’re toast. Organians might be a problem, though…
Violation of the Prime Directive shall result in a fine, the amount to be determined and collected by the Ferengi Grand Nagus. 15% of the fine shall be retained by the Grand Nagus; 5% by the Nagus’ Hupyrian body guards who shall collect the fine; 50% shall be divided among the Star Fleet Admiralty; 30% shall be paid to Carnivorousplant.
Against, since it seems to conflict directly with the Prime Directive and with Federation principles in general. Also because it’s unacceptably vague, and doesn’t really make much sense to begin with. Plus there’s zero chance that Picard would ever follow through with it anyway, so if the situation ever did come up, why embarrass him like that?
RANDOM NASTY ALIENS: “Your away team is in our power! Surrender or we will destroy them.”
PICARD: “You leave me no other choice. If you do not return our crew members, I shall carry out General Order 24.”
RANDOM NASTY ALIENS: “PPPHHHBBWA-HAA-HAA-HAA!!.. Snnkkhh… What, do you-- (giggle) (Shh!! Shut up!) – You think you’re Kirk or something? Sorry, do we have the wrong Enterprise? You are Captain Picard, of the Enterprise-D, yes? The one who whiffed exterminating the Borg? Oooh, quick Gloknar, shields to maximum! Sensors detect brisk negotiations incoming!”
PICARD: (weeps)
It isn’t. Only the live-action episodes and movies are canon.
Any being, sentient or not, android or human, that takes over my ship even once will be dismantled… I don’t care if it was due to programming beyond your control, this security risk is just unnaceptable.
Any captian that is captured, assimilated, de-assimilated, goes on a spy mission, gets captured again and is tortured to the point that he even thinks there are 5 lights, will be henceforth flying a desk making sure that the needed materials for the replicators is available. You’ve done your part for king and country, and before rule #1 must be implimented, we’ll protect you.
Nah, just replace it with Brannigan’s Law.
Oh, and standard issue velour uniforms that look like miniskirts. For both sexes and various aliens.
Nausicans, dammit, nausicans. :smack:
1. “The Borg Blaster,” a.k.a the Thompson Submachinegun, will now be stocked in all Starfleet Vessel’s Armories.
2a. Starfleet will revive the ancient and honorable tradition of carrying actual combat troops onboard their vessels. I like the title “Fleet Strike” (a nod to John Ringo) for these troops. An elite, Special Operations branch of these troops will also be created, selecting from the best-of-the-best. I like the title of SEALS (Sea, Air, Land, Space) for these troops.
2b. These SEALS will be of such caliber that you can kick them butt-nekkid out of an airlock in deep space, and by the time you get back to the bridge, the SEALS are there, in uniform, lounging in your Captain’s Chair, with Orion Slave Girls serving them margaritias, and your once-loyal crew bowing to them, saying, “O Captain, My Captain!”
2c. Okay, maybe they’re not that bad-ass, but you get the gist.
3a. Any Starfleet Engineer who says they can’t shut off power to an out-of-control HoloDeck will be unceremoniously Transported (with Transporters set on “Mulch”) to the nearest Botanical Garden.
3b. Any Starfleet Engineer who lets a Holodeck go out-of-control will never be trusted with anything more complex than changing a lightbulb.
4. Ancient technology like fuses and circuit breakers will be reintroduced, and Starfleet Engineers will be beat about the head and shoulders with such devices until all of Starfleet is re-equipped with them.
5. The Starfleet motto will be changed to “We Come In Peace (Shoot to Kill!)”
6. Starfleet will begin designing and building combat-only vessels. Some Klingons may be brought in to consult. “Multi-purpose” only means that it can do several things “okay,” but no one specific thing “well.” We may very well call such vessels “Star Destroyers.” Any triangular, wedge-shape will be purely coincidental, I assure you.
7a. Crew stations will be equipped with 5-point safety harnesses.
7b. Where time permits, crews going into battle will don Combat Capable Spacesuits. These are a combination of a flexible spacesuit and Light Body Armor.
8. Section 31 gets all the help they need. Unofficially, and off-the-books, of course.
9. The Eugenics program will be revived Federation-wide. It will be done incrementally, first eliminating all disease, and then moving the respective peoples to the upper limits of their normal range of abilities. This avoids the “Supermen/Ubermensch” mentality inherent to “Genies” (a nod to David Weber).
10. Lightsabers. Starfleet Engineering will get right on this, as these are just too cool, and I figure they have the technology to figure out how to make them work.
11. Self-replicating Anti-Borg nannites will be developed toot-sweet, and all Federation personnel who have any chance of coming into contact with the Borg will be innoculated with them.
Boarding parties will be dealt with by sealing off the affected sections and venting them into space. If loose equipment is in the area, artificial gravity in the affected sections will be turned off, and combat troops (which will exist) will engage while wearing magnetic boots. Ships will begin shooting before they get within a city block of their target.
From Chapter 15 of Starfleet Emergency Guidelines “Unable to return to Federation Space”:
"In the event of an irrepairable loss of FTL travel and communication capability, spatial or temporal relocation beyond the ship’s ability to return, or any other cause leading to a situation where return to the Federation is impossible or exceedlingly unlikely, the following guidelines are to be used:
(…)If in the judgement of the ranking tactical officer the overall chance of surviving an attempt to return to the Federation is less than 5%, the captain, officers and crew are formally released from their obligation to continue service as a Starfleet vessel, although by a majority vote of the crew they may elect to do so. If the Captain of the vessel refuses to achnowledge said state of decommision, then by a unanimous vote of the senior officers extraordinary measures may be taken (see Chapter 13 “Unfit or Treasonous Captain”)
Shoot first. Ask questions later.
When you beam down and there’s a pitched battle nearby, put your phaser on wide-beam stun, knock out everybody including your own men, and sort it out later.
To supplant away teams and those carrying out menial tasks onboard ship, a new breed of multi-tasking drones are to be created for the Federations.
These will be built with resources taken from all scientists working on wasteful glowy-beam-devices and will use the AI from a Starfleet vessel to give the least possible chance of sentience developing.
They will be beamed down first to any planet, ahead of red shirts, who will go ahead of every officer below the captain.
The Barbarella look or LEXX look might make the show better again.
ExTank:
5. The Starfleet motto will be changed to “We Come In Peace (Shoot to Kill!)”
The reference to the song is noted and logged.
•Complete uniform redesigns are limited to once every twenty years. And, preferably, there will be new guidelines against choosing duty uniforms that have more layers than an Inuit suit.
•Considering the historical precedents set in Federation and other worlds, Starfleet is to take a more…how shall I say; “generous” approach to dealing with AIs (holograms, androids, etc.). To give more of a benefit of the doubt in regards to their treatment and potential rights. In other words: don’t use AIs as slaves until you can prove they are subsentient, as opposed to only granting them rights only after you’ve proved they’re intelligence.
I feel this is important both for humanitarian and ethical reasons, as well as forstalling uprisings of murderous Killbot Sparticuses.
•A serious modernization and upgrade program to Starfleet Infantry. (Seriously…not even any Arcturian clone troops? Klingon mercenaries? Just a bunch of guys with no personal equipment and semi-automatic rifles stuck firing tracers?)
I note the obscure addendum which must have been added by a time traveller:
“Captains or ship crew members named Janeway must be immediately spaced prior to any said voting.”
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Star Fleet has an academy, ranks, and court-martials. It is a military organization. Deal with it.
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Re-learn the lost art of sensor-jamming and electronic warfare.
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As was already noted earlier: re-invent the machine-gun for use as an anti-Borg weapon.
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If the Enterprise can fire its phasers at pirate ship, and keep them on a steady beam long enough to crash their shields, this will be a standard tactic used against every enemy ship.
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Remember the device that was used in an effort to make a ship that could travel at warp speeds without warp drive, only it created an ever-growing energy pulse the threatened to destroy the world in its path? Every moon, planet, and outpost of the Federation will be equipped with one of those gizmos, and they will pointed across the nearest Neutral Zone, and they will be used if the neighbors get uppity.