Oh whatEVER!!!
“Just be happy she’s not anorexic/suicidal/other bad things.”
THAT’S the reason she should let her do it?
If my kid comes to me and wants to smoke a cigarette, should I “just be happy” it’s not a joint?
A-Men, Zyada.
Like BBJ I got my navel pierced and wish I had not.
The pain was not an issue; it hurt more to clean it than to get it.
It took nine months to heal, according to the piercer it’s the area that takes the longest to heal and he was right.
I wasn’t eighteen and I’ve been told I look young, they just didn’t ask for our Id. and we signed releases that said we were, making up our birthdates.
At least I got lucky in that I got a good piercer, who put it in the right spot, I’ve seen quite a few cock-eyed misplaced piercings.
It seems that almost everybody has a navel piercing, I think it’s much sexier to have an unadorned navel…and while I’d like to take mine out it would leave a nice hole/scar since navels are pierced with a fairly thick gauge, usually 12-14.
And while it might make you feel disloyal to feel it, and un-PC to mention it, “chubby” could complicate it. If she loses weight later, the way the piercing will “sit” will be different, and won’t look “right” if it looked “right” in the first place. Plus, it will call attention to her stomach, and we all know how cruel kids and some stupid people can be, there are people in this world who think that they have the right to be the fashion police, the aesthetic quality controllers or whatever, and will say terrible things not caring how hurtful they are.
I really wish I hadn’t pierced my navel. I only did it because my friend really wanted to pierce his librette (the center of the lower lip) and my other friend wanted to shave her head. Being the three musketeers, I had to do something appearance altering as well, and whimsy chose this as the tamest option. I don’t talk to these people any more, and more soccer moms than I can count have navel piercings (not that that’s a bad thing, but it’s like tattoos, mainstream and not naughty at all)
Get her a henna tattoo kit, the kids can go crazy with it adorning their bellies etc. it lasts for awhile but not permanent, and it is trendy, fun and not as common as piercings are…
Good luck, I hope it all goes well!
Go ahead and give her your permission.
I had my navel pierced for my sixteenth birthday. I loved it! I have a cute belly button and it accentuated that. It made me feel good about myself, and even encouraged me to start exercising a lot.
The procedure hurt less than having my ears pierced, although the three days afterward were a little painful. If taken care of properly she shouldn’t have any problems. However, keep in mind that certain dietary defficiencies (sp?) can cause irritation. I didn’t get enough zinc, so I developed granulation tissue around the piercing. I went to the doctor and he said to take a CalMagZinc supplement, and it cleared right up. Don’t be afraid to go to the doc before you make her take it out. I promise they won’t get the wrong impresion about her.
Assuming you say yes, go with her to “shop around.” Ask every parlor about their sterilization policies. Ask to see their autoclave (a medical grade tool cleanser). If the place is a good one, they will be more than happy to answer all of your questions and show you around. When she is getting it done, you should see the artist take the needle out of the wrapper! Any reputable place will do this so you can see it is a new one.
I did take mine out eventually, and there are two small dents where the holes were. But they aren’t noticable at all. I thoroughly enjoyed the years I had my belly ring. So many people get them nowadays that it isn’t a big deal.
This is a really good point, and I admit I didn’t realize the weight differential would affect the piercing much. Thanks for the clarification.
I might be wrong, but my impression wasn’t that the OP was going to tell her daughter she was too fat to have this piercing; rather that her weight was just a factor (in her mind) in the decision.
I would think 15 is a little young, although as others have pointed out; she may just go ahead and do it, especially if she thinks you’re saying ‘never’.
Perhaps I’m being fanciful here, but maybe you could sit down with her and try to find agreement on what age it would be acceptable, and agree that if she waits until then, you’ll buy her the ring/stud/whatever it is (then you can make sure it’s a non-allergenic one).
I have to agree with all the point Zyada made - the most important, to me, being “choose your battles”. If this is something you really do feel very strongly about and do not want her do it, no way no how, then stick to your guns. If however, you’re just reluctant, do listen to her point of view and be prepared to change your mind.
As a counsellor in training, who had the respect to come to you to ask your permission for this piercing your daughter sounds like a reasonably mature 15 year old. Obviously, you know her much better than any of us could - do you think she’s likely to go ahead and do things without thinking about it, or being concerned with the possible health hazards? Or will she take responsibility if it doesn’t work out health-wise? As a mom you don’t want her to get hurt, but I think 15/16 is a good age to start introducing personal responsibility for her own body. Giving her control, in what I think is a minor way, can give her a sense of being an individual - something almost all teengagers strive for.
As for the allergy issue - body piercings tend to be made of better materials than facial ones. Belly button piercings do take care and she will need to pay attention to it and keep it very clean. Do you think your daughter would be good at that? If it doesn’t work out, always remember that piercings aren’t permanent. She can always take it out.
Also, while I understand your concerns, the idea of a young person as “fast” because of body piercings is a little outdated now. Piercings, including belly button piercings, are so commonplace now that the shock effect/statement made by wearing them has become so diluted it’s meaningless. Now it’s just decoration for the body, no greater outward statement than that.
As for the weight issue, I do agree with others before me that said weight shouldn’t be a barrier - if she wants to show off her tummy, let her! Your daughter being confident in her body can only be a good thing, in my opinion.
Finally, your asking this question shows what a thoughtful mom you are. Best of luck with whatever decision you make.
That wasn’t what I was saying. My point is that (to put it bluntly) velvetjones has an unhealthy attitude about her daughter’s body that can lead to anorexia or depression. And that if she can’t change her attitude, she would be better off allowing the piercing that communicating to her daughter that the daughter is so fat that she “will look silly if not grotesque” with a piercing.
And I know from personal experience that Mom’s attitude about weight can cause depression or anorexia. I was severely depressed in HS, and occasionally thought about suicide, in some part because I believed I was fat. I believed this because my own mother projected her own weight insecurities on to me. And a cousin of mine was anorectic because of the extreme attitude of her family regarding physical looks.
Telling your child that cigarettes are highly addictive and will make her smell like crap and her teeth ugly, and that they will
eventually hurt her health communicates a healthy attitude that you care about her.
Telling your child that marijuana is illegal and that getting involved with illegal substance causes all sorts of problems also communicates a healthy attitude that you care about what happens to him or her.
Wow, wow, wow, you guys are great. You’ve given me so much to think about. Where do I start?
Of course, as many of you mentioned, you have to be 18 in FL and she’s asking me because I have to take her to get it done. She needs me to be there to sign the release.
She wants to get it done at the same place that pierced her cousin. I’m not familiar with the place but I’m sure I can check it out.
dantheman I like what you said about how it will make her feel about herself. I hadn’t thought of that. I think the “fast” or “experienced” notion I have about how it would look is the old lady in me and probably me thinking about what my conservative catholic mother’s reaction would be.
Lucretia You have a good point but like I said, she’s asking because she needs me to sign the release. Otherwise, I think it would be done already.
UWmite I like your idea and I’m going to present that. I am worried about her being away at camp while she’s healing. She’s pretty responsible and has very good personal hygiene but I worry.
hersiarch You’re right. I thank my lucky stars every day that I have a teenager who isn’t insolent, sullen, moody and unreasonable. She’s really extremely sweet, polite and responsible. I like your idea about giving her more freedom. I just wish she’s express her freedom in a way that didn’t involve needles or permanent scarring. 
even sven ritual amputation…LOL You’re right, though about the lack of negative consequences (barring some kind of incurable infection)
monica Thanks for your insights and observations. It’s nice to hear from someone who’s on her level.
Zyada What a thoughtful and well written response. Thank you so much.
- Good point about the surgical steel and nickel, I like the idea that she takes it out the minute it gets infected.
- Sorry, didn’t mean to offend you or your friends. It’s the old lady in me coming out (I’m 41 doh!) and my mother’s voice in my head. You’re right though. I’m probably just out of step with the times. I do see it all the time.
- Right again.
- Point well taken. I understand all too well the damage mothers do to their daughters. No, of course I want her to feel like her body is beautiful and she is beautiful because she is. I just remember growing up being chubby (not obese but chubby) and being teased and ridiculed about it. I don’t want the piercing to add to that or draw attention to her in a way that may invite comment.
Tortuga Good points. Thanks for sharing your experience. I didn’t think about the what if she loses weight issue, good point.
Thanks to everyone who responded. I’m very lucky that there are people who are willing to share an honest opinion. Here’s what I’m going to do on Saturday:
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I’m going to let her read all (or most) of your responses, especially the ones from people with personal experience with piercings. (I’m going to edit out the parts about size because I don’t want to hurt her feelings)
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I’m going to suggest that she get her ear cartilage pierced like UWmite said.
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I’m going to ask her to wait until she’s done with camp so I can monitor the healing process.
Thanks again everyone. I’m mostly just a lurker here but you all sure helped me out. I really appreciate all of your comments.
In my experience (when I wanted mine done) this can go really bad or really good. My cousin wanted hers and she was bigger as well ( about the same as your daughter) and her parents and her made a deal, if she lost the specified weight she could get it done. She lost the weight, too fast and in a very unhealthy way.
I wanted mine and my mom said no so my older brother was going to take me. When she finally agreed to it since I was going to anyway eventually she was able to find a safe clean place to have it done.
Now I Would like to add to the sensitive to metals part. I myself can not even wear earrings I am so metal sensitive but If I get belly rings in gold or surgical steel (www.bodycandy.com has them cheap and non ever give me a reaction) I never have once had a rash, infection, etc.
Considering the daughter in question is now around 25 years old, I’m not sure she still needs the advice.
I came in here to ask “Do people still get their naval pierced? That was really popular like ten years ago but not as much lately…”
Is she a 25 year old with a pierced belly button??
Can we at least find out if she did it?
If she has her ears pierced she is old enough for this
velvetjones how many does she have now?
I vote to let her do it. It’ll be good for her self image and esteem. If not, she can always take it out. It’s not like a big ol’ tattoo. Say yes to this somewhat big deal, you get leverage to say no to the next, possibly bigger deal.
No. Not nohow, not no way. When she turns 18, if she still wants to mutilate her body like that, you can’t stop her. Until then you can, and that includes ripping it out if she has it done against your wishes.
PS, I think it’ll be awesome for you to be there with her when she gets it done. Cool mom, and all that.
100 years ago when I was 16 and wanted to pierce my ear I had to use the get drunk with a female friend armed with an ice cube and an old earring method, and it didn’t work out that well.
You guys do realize this thread is from 2002, right?