“Garryowen” is 8.8.8.8…
I’m a firm believer that the lyrics to any song ever written can be sung to Gilligan’s theme music.
Most of them will sound atrocious.
Once, a long, long time ago, I used to write Star Trek fanfic. Including song parodies. Thus I publicize my shame…
Voyager’s Isle
(The crew is filing into the holodeck, and forming a group in the middle
of the room.)
Paris: Okay, folks! Let’s do this.
Janeway: Mr. Paris, I have serious misgivings about this…
Paris: Captain, believe me. It’ll be fun!
Chakotay:I hope you know what you’re doing, Tom.
Paris: Trust me.
Torres: Oh, that makes me feel so much better!
(Paris glares at her)
Kim: I don’t know if I can do this.
Paris: What’s wrong now?!
Kim: I’ve never heard this song before.
(Paris stares at Kim like he expects him to grow another head)
Paris: You’ve never heard this song before?
Kim: No. It’s not exactly in the Federation Top 20.
Paris: Never mind. Just lip synch until you feel comfortable with it.
It’s a group, you’ll be fine. If there are no more objections? (looks
around) All right. Computer, run Paris 420.
(A tropical island appears, with palm trees waving in the breeze and
several palm-leaf and bamboo huts in the background.)
Paris: Ready… 1, 2, 3…
All: Oh, sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
a tale of a Starfleet ship,
with 143 castaways
on an unplanned long-term trip.
On an unplanned long-term trip.
The captain was a caffeine fiend,
the first mate was Maqui,
the helmsman was a handsome rake,
and Kim is so naive.
Kim is so naive.
The doctor is a hologram,
a T'laxian does guide,
the engineer is half-Klingon,
makes for a bumpy ride.
Makes for a bumpy ride.
With Ja-aneway,
Chakotay too,
Neelix and Tuvok,
Seven of Nine,
Paris, Torres and Kim,
all on Vo-oyager!
Doctor: Excuse me, but I believe you left me out of the listing in the
last verse.
Paris: If you can get it to scan, you can have it.
Janeway: Meanwhile, I’d like to remind everyone that we have a duty
shift starting in ten minutes.
(The crew files out of the room, leaving only the doctor.)
Doctor: Neelix, Doc and Tuvok…no. Internal rhymes don’t work.
Um…Paris, Torres, Kim and Doc…hmmm…
(fade out)