Memo to self. Never have children.
I really didn’t have that bad a time myself, although it did hurt, of course. The worst parts were when doctors tried to do something to me (My daughter was in distress during most of the labor) - internal fetal monitor, blood tests from her scalp while she was still inside me, really fast episiotomy - all that just made me want to leap out of the bed and run screaming away.
The contractions are like a cramp - like having to take a shit. When labor began for me, I thought I just had to take a crap or had gas or something. Later, of course, it became obvious (when the “gas/crap” cramps were 3 minutes apart and woke me up in the middle of the night.) So the first five hours of labor were so innocuous as to appear to be normal constipation issues or something, and I slept through four of those hours.
One thing I haven’t seen yet and thought I might add is that I had a mind-altering experience throughout hard labor, I assume because of the hormones and whatnot running all around my body. I had no pain medicines during labor. The entire time in the hospital I felt almost an out-of-body experience and really didn’t experience the pain “firsthand”. It’s like my body took over and did the work while my mind vacationed nearby and watched and listened, but didn’t participate. It’s kinda hard to explain. Anybody else that had the same sensory changes care to try?
Well, in any event, it made things a lot easier to deal with. Lamaze classes for six weeks and all I remembered was to occasionally breathe. 
I have two beautiful little boys, and their births were very different.
1-After 32 hours of what the doctor called “non-productive” labor (contractions about 10 min. apt consistently) at five days past my due date I was induced with pitocin. That cranked it up hard. Because of my son’s positioning I was not eligible for an epidural. They gave me some Nubane which made me a little spacy for a bit; but it never really seemed to dull the pain IMO. The most suprising thing about the pain for me was how low it was. I guess I was expecting it to hurt all over this huge belly I had, which is silly in retrospect, but I’d never had bad periods or any female-type problems so, like I said, it was a surprise. It feels as if your entire vagina/area sitting right inside your pubic bone turned to fire, but rock hard. One move I found that really helped during my countless hours of contractions was to do a little hula dance during the worst of it. It sounds ridiculous but it really did help.
2)I was overdue again, a week this time. Labor never started, but for a lot of different personal reasons I couldn’t just keep waiting. We induced with Pitocin, about an hour and a half after that I got my epidural. I LOVED the epidural. Completely took the pain away for me, I sat there and chatted with my mom for the next hour as I went to 10 cm. I didn’t have any problems pushing, either. However, over an hour of pushing later I still had no baby. He kept coming down/slipping back up. Then, his heartrate dropped sharply. Then, I started bleeding badly. End result, painless labor turned into an emergency C-section where a very blue but ultimately OK baby was pulled from me with his cord wrapped round his neck twice. I was very out there through most of this and as someone said earlier, the oddest part was the sensation of people rummaging around in your guts, but painless.
If I had another child I would go with the epidural again in a heartbeat. I think without the whole cord thing, my second birth would have gone beautifully. Four hours, tops.
Both of my kids (11 years, and nearly-4 months) were induced. The first was a scheduled induction at two weeks late, the second was induced after I had broken my water and wasn’t contracting.
Pitocin SUCKS. It makes the entire labour about four times harder than natural (so I’m told - I have nothing to compare it to). So yeah, it hurts.
I wouldn’t call it sharp. I’d call it dull and very strong pain. Until the baby crowns - then all bets are off.
Wow, I guess I never realized how lucky I was. I was induced due to preeclampsia, so my labor began with an amniotomy and a Pitocin drip. All I felt during the amniotomy was a gush of warm water – no pain. After about four hours on the Pitocin I began hurting with the contractions. They were about every three minutes apart and felt like hard cramping in my belly, mostly down low. I didn’t say anything, but my mother in law noticed I was staring to “breathe through” the contractions and asked how I was feeling. I rated the pain about a 4/10, but within the next few minutes it got worse. I took a shot of Nubain and about forty-five minutes later, I took the epidural (both hubby and nurse were recommending it. I was ignoring my husband, but listened to the nurse. I felt like I could have held out a while longer, but I knew she was going to increase the Pitocin soon!) After the epidural (which took about three minutes and was also not painful) I felt fabulous. For me, the only part of labor that was more than “uncomfortable” was the internal exam; like Lyllyan I practically jumped off the bed when they did that.
I’m no hero and had planned ahead to have pain meds, so I didn’t feel guilty about the epidural. In fact I was extra glad I had it as we ended up delivering by C-section late that night; once the decision was made for surgery, I didn’t have to wait on pain meds to kick in – we went to the OR in ten minutes!
P.S. This all happened only 4 1/2 weeks ago, so you can tell the expreience is still very fresh on my mind!
That’s about as apt a description of contractions as I’ve ever read. For me, they felt like a tight, squeezing sensation that got tighter as labor progressed. My youngest is only three months old, so my recollection of labor is pretty fresh.
With my first son, my water broke and I went into labor naturally at 39 weeks. The contractions made me want to writhe, but I also felt like it would hurt worse if I moved. After about 12 hours, I finally made it to 4 cm and got the epidural. (They had given me a drug that they said would enable me to relax between contractions; bull. All it did was made me doze off between them, so I was awakened to this clenching pain every two minutes. It sucked.) The epi was great, and I zoomed from 4 to 10 cm in about 45 minutes. (There were some rather odd complications with that birth, but I’m not going to scare you with the details. It was a one-in-a-million case that none of the doctors had ever seen before.)
One thing nobody had told me was how messy and smelly labor is. When my water broke, it didn’t all come out in one big gush, but kept gushing out with each contraction for hours. I don’t know where all that stuff came from; I felt like Old Faithful. And I guess I knew in the back of my mind that bodily fluids are smelly, but I didn’t really connect that to labor.
With my second son, I was induced because I was almost three weeks late and he showed no signs of ever wanting to come out. Twelve hours on Cervadil (no big deal at all; I napped and embroidered and watched TV), then about six on Pitocin (slightly bigger deal, and I spent that time breathing). The Pit contractions weren’t bad at all for me, possibly because I was more relaxed and psyched up than with my first birth. I didn’t even ask for any medication for about four hours, and then they gave me Stadol, which made me feel very drunk and giggly. That was kind of fun. After another hour, that started wearing off and I got the epidural. I went to sleep, and wham, 45 minutes later, I’d gone from 3 to 10 cm. Pushed for 24 minutes, and out he popped. I felt a lot of pressure, a sensation of heaviness, while he was coming out, and it was a very weird feeling when his head was out but the rest of him wasn’t. I reached down and felt his slimy little head, and I remember thinking, “Well, do something! You can’t just leave him like this!” 
This last time, I found the breathing a little bit helpful. I also found a focal point, which happened to be a ring the L&D nurse was wearing, because it was exactly like my mother’s wedding band. Nothing else worked, so the poor woman could barely leave me for a minute because she was wearing my focal point. Bless her, she was a great nurse.
Recovery was far worse than the actual births, for me. Every little sneeze or cough hurts. Sitting down hurts. Going to the bathroom hurts. I was all itchy. And that lasted for a couple of weeks.
I remember thinking there was no way I could live through the pain, and that it would never be over. It was indescribable. There is nothing in my life that I could use to compare it.
Get the drugs. You don’t get awards for enduring hours upon hours of pain. I remember getting my epidural, it was maybe the best moment of my life. I went from the most pain I’ve ever been in to no pain at all. I actually slept. It was absolutely wonderful.
I don’t know how women did it before they had epidurals and drugs. It’s probably why so many used to die in childbirth. They just couldn’t do it./my non-scientific opinion
bolding mine.
That is the most important thing to remember. All I know is that I checked the “YES, when the time comes for the LOVE OF GOD GIVE ME DRUGS” section of my pre-admittal forms. The first time was in 1979 when I had my daughter, who is now 25 (so obviously I lived :D) the second time was in 1991 when I had my son (yes, he was a bit of an oopsie, I’m what? CAN’T be, I’m 31). At any rate, both times, the docs ignored my preadmittal request, and I had both babies SANS medication.
Nope, no spinal whatsahoosie. A small bit intravaneously during the first part of labor with my daughter, and nothing with my son.
The worst thing, with both labors is that I had such intense back pain, that it made it nearly impossible for me to feel any actual contractions. This made it difficult.
Labor with my daughter was textbook and very very quick but intensely painful. Labor was about 4 hours tops. Started with some slight cramping pain at about 1030 am, my daughter was born at 105pm after only two pushes. Following doctor’s suggestions, I’d kept up with crunches and tummy exercised throughout, even though I’d been toxemic and bed bound the last three months.
With my son, the pregnancy went fine, it was the labor that was drawn out and problematic (started at 4am, and he wasn’t born until 1123pm, but that is far from a “long labor” horror story).
They gave me pitocin (sp? and YES, I’m too lazy right now to look it up…sue me :D). If you have ANY choice whatsoever and the baby is not in danger, do NOT let them give you this crap. I swear, it increases the pain tenfold.
One thing, at least for me, once the baby is born? Pain instantly ends and you feel a thousand percent better. Also, again, at least for me, my body pretty much quickly “forgot” how bad it really was.
And it’s SO damn worth it.
If I had my druthers? They’d have given me the drugs, as it was? Yeah, it was pretty bad, but in a way, made me stronger…
Don’t worry, you’ll be just fine!!
Just remember Heee Heee WHOOOOO…Heeee HEeeee WHOOOO
Oh grrr, yes, this is what happened to me both times
Nurses: “oh no dear, it’s much too early, we have to wait…Oh Oops, no sorry dear, now it’s too late”.
“okay dear, breathe now, heee heee WHOOOO…heee heee WHOOO”.
Me: “YOU freaking Heee heeee WHOOO dumbass, YOU’RE the one who waited too late for the drugs…grrrrr”.
I’m sure the nurse who wheeled me toward the delivery room all those years ago so that I could have my daughter STILL must get a kick out of my reaction.
I flat out told her “okay, I’m not doing this, I’ve changed my mind” (I’m in fully dilated, get this girl to the delivery room NOW mode).
She very sweetly and matter of factly said (and my mom still teases me to this day) “Honey, you ain’t got no choice it’s WAY too late to change your mind”.
I had 2 C-sections for non progressive labor. Lot of drugs were offered -and accepted- and they didn’t help.
I got a more pro-active with my third. The thing that helped me the most was visualization. During contractions I’d visualize a rose bud opening up. Believe it or not - that really really helped. My third was born vaginally after a very short labor and no drugs. I didn’t appreciate any difference between my drugged and undrugged labors in terms of pain.
The recovery was MUCH, MUCH better after a vaginal birth. My C-section incisions still pull and hurt when I move just right - and it’s been 15 years since the last.
Exactly. I had actual Montezuma’s Revenge about 18 months after I had my kid so I can say it’s very close to those kind of cramps.
I was in labor for something like 54 hours (truly, the first 48 weren’t bad, just annoying) and I was practically hallucinating from the lack of sleep. I was given a half-dose of stadol mixed with some sleeping thing and that was a terrible, terrible mistake because I slept, but woke up when the contractions were at their strongest, only to drop back off.
Once I woke up from that ordeal I was dilated to four and they decided I could have an epidural which was The Best Thing Ever and I dilated to ten within another half-hour. They never expected me to go that fast so my entire lower body was totally numb for the pushing part but no matter, two pushes and there she was.
Also, that gazing into my child’s eye stuff/instant connection thing is a load of shit, IMHO. I looked at that messy, puffy, mewling lump and said to myself, “Huh. So that’s her. Interesting.”
Good luck, it’s a helluva ride.
PS I cannot stress the importance of ice. They gave me these plastic maxipad-looking pouch things that you put crushed ice in and applied to the “affected” area. I did that for about 10 hours – gives new meaning to frigid – and other than being exhausted, I felt perfectly fine the next day.
Watch out for the epidural headache, though.
Mine didn’t hit until after we’d brought her home. I was laying on the futon and woke up yelling. It wasn’t my head, it was my neck. It’s like you can’t move it and if you do move it your head will fall off. It’s like a dizzy/nauseous/strong dull pain sensation. If you get one, you’ll know it; it’s like a kidney stone that way. There’s no mistaking it.
So to be on the safe side, when you come home, make sure there’s some caffeine in the house. A 2 liter of soda worked for me; No-Doz would be ok too.
And if you’re not going to nurse, don’t leave the hospital without a prescription for a real painkiller. None of this Motrin shit. Motrin and sitz baths aren’t gonna get it for a killer episiotomy. It’s better you get the Lortab prescription filled and never use it than be stuck at home at 3am miserable.
A-fucking-MEN! I was firmly in the “I don’t want children” camp before this thread, but I think I’ll start carrying around a print out of this thread to pass out to people that ask, “Why don’t you want to have children?” :eek:
Dear. God. (Shana breathes heavily into paper bag)
Alrighty. Color me sufficiently horrified! :eek:
Wow, wow, WOW. That sounds like the worst horror movie ever. Being burned alive? Tail bones breaking? Knitting needless up lady parts??? Gah!!! Those baby books certainly did not let on about any of this crap. Geez!!! Where is the crying smiley icon?? 
Um, okay…So drugs are my friend (No guilt here! No siree!!!)
Pitocin is my mortal enemy. Got it.
But what if the baby is late? Would one really have a choice not
to be induced?
Ha, well, y’all probably don’t believe me, but I would rather know that not know. I’ve learned so much and I’m grateful for all your responses!
(I think) 
I do actually want children. I’m just not looking forward to child birth!
And I’m thinking they don’t compensate surrogates nearly enough! Still :eek:
And just when you think the worst part is over, they’ll prepare you a nice high-fiber meal disquised as a romantic steak dinner for you and hubby. And instead of an after dinner mint, you get a laxative. But no epidural this time.
Granted, it’s been almost 13 years since I last gave birth, and that one was C-section (which, BTW, was the least enjoyable). But considering the pain of labor for the first two, which were natural (no drugs), I would rather give birth than have the pain associated with a bleeding ulcer. That was bad. That was REAL bad. I thought I was going to die and was hoping it would be soon.
So, Shana, don’t get too freaked out. Everyone’s experience is different. If you want drugs, ask for them. There is no shame in it. If you think you can do without, fine. It is your choice. Don’t let anyone tell you what you want as you will know better than anyone what you need at any given point. Try not to stress too much. The best part is, even with the pain, is that you KNOW that it will end, and you will be rewarded. The mind is a wonderful thing when it comes to blocking out bad or hurtful things, and mine has done a beautiful job at blocking out the really bad parts, therefore I am left with pleasant childbirth experiences. My SO and I talk about this sometimes, and while he agrees that there was pain, it wasn’t that bad. We mostly remember giggling alot, and with the second child, we were actually in tears from laughing. This while on the way to the OR. Boy did we get some strange looks.
I started to read along and got all pissed off just remembering. Labor sucks. The whole experience is painful and messy and they won’t give you the epidural anywhere near soon enough no matter when you get it. For me, the epidural did completely block the pain, however, and fast too. Yay. It also really slowed down the labor. Boo. Nevertheless, I would never have done without it. When the c-section happened they boosted the epidural but I could feel the tugging and freaked out so they had to knock me out. It took me 2 1/2 years to feel maternal towards the baby. Believe it or not, I tried to go through the whole thing again and labored during a second trimester miscarriage and that hurt a lot too. Boo. Couldn’t get pregnant again even with major intervention. Yay!
That being said, I would take labor over severe biliary colic any day. That’s super bad gall bladder disease and it was, according to the doctor, a little souvenir of the pregnancy.