Actually, I’ve never had a problem on busses. Other places on the other hand . . . ! :rolleyes:
I’m not sure if this guy was deranged. All I know was I was bicycling through Waikiki about 7:00 am after running an errand for a client (long story omitted) when a fellow asked me if I’d be willing to do something when I stopped to buy a newspaper. When I declined, he said, “I can satisfy you!” as I got on my bicycle and pedalled away. Half a block later, I came up with the perfect reply. I should have assumed my best British accent and said, “Sir, you do not have the capacity to satisfy me!” No, I didn’t turn around and deliver it.
Also, as a general hint to the male population, if you’ve followed a girl back to where she’s hanging out her laundry and she keeps telling you she doesn’t want company, leave her alone!!! There’s no way I was hanging out my underwear to dry in front of the guy who wasn’t getting the message (and no, he didn’t live there and he wasn’t visiting someone who did), so I pulled my laundry off the line and wound up hanging it up to dry later.
One final hint. If I smile at you and say, “Hello”, I’m not expressing a mad, undying passion for you, sexual or otherwise. I’m being polite. If you take it as the former, I may have to stop being the latter. Trust me, you wouldn’t like that.
Hey, **alice_in_wonderland ** !
How you doin’?
Did the Alien Space Crows inplant a microchip in your brain to read your mind, or are you just glad to see me?
Nope, won’t always help. While driving down the interstate at about 80 mph a guy zoomed up next to me with a sign saying “ARE YOU MARRIED?”. Slightly amused, I shook my head no. He then held up another sign saying “SHOW LEG?”. I think the look of horror on my face gave him the answer and I noticed he took the next exit off. Now how in the heck was I supposed to show him my leg while driving anyway. I think the best I could have done was a bit of my knee.
Aw, c’mon Alice. Gimme a chance. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaasse?? I promise I won’t drool (much). And I’ve got that peeing on the bus seat thing (almost) beat!
Man, what creeps. Can I hold your hand and call you my girlfirend? I promise to leave the goat at home until at least the third date. (Sorry, I tried to resist, really)
There’s a very nice young lady who goes to a bar once or twice a week after work. She always brings a book with her and sits quietly at the bar having a drink or two, reads, and occasionally chats with the other patrons. Invariably, some drunk older man will come up to her and ask all sorts of questions about what she is reading in a pathetically transparent attempt to hit on her. She has taken to referring to this phenomenon as having a giant neon “Fuck me” sign on her forehead and she’s desperately searching for the off switch.
Heh. I was at the grocery store and there was an old guy in line behind me. He checked out all my grocery items and made comments on them. “Oooh I haven’t seen a pot pie in years!” or, “Gee…THAT looks good!”
Then he unloaded all my stuff onto the conveyor belt. I told him I hate pot pies because they always make me feel broke. He laughed his ass off. Just kept laughing and laughing…
That’s the kind of nut case I attract. It blows to get old.
Okay, I officially give up on women. How the hell is a guy supposed to get some anonymous sex in a dark alley behind the landromat if you women won’t give us…them (I meant to say them) the time of day? Frigid bitches!
Where the hell do these weirdo people who stick cold cans of soda on a total stranger’s butt come from?
I have the no-teeth hick types around here who are just aghast that some woman 26 years old isn’t married, has no kids, and loves her career, but even Cletus doesn’t seem interested in sticking cold soda cans to my butt.
In some kind of morbid and sick way, I’m almost jealous that my weirdos are less interesting than your weirdos.
Yes. Yes, he did. Right where the cheek meets the thigh. I did jump out of my skin. I soooo wish I had beaned him with a family-sized can of artichokes!
This happened when I was living in L.A. I told a friend about it who had lived there all her life and she said, “Well, of course, honey! Nobody in their right mind shops in Hollywood! You have to do all your shopping in the Valley!”
I think if straight guys would just imagine how they’d feel if another guy did or said this stuff to them, we’d be a long way to solving the problem… Think before you perpetrate!
Have you tried mumbling to yourself on the bus? It might scare them off if you acted crazier than them. When I worked in New York, when I saw a loon approaching I went into a loon act. Worked every time.
Keep a tube of lip balm…medex, campho, etc. handy. It’s good for your lips anyway. Also put some tic tacs in prescription bottle. Doctor your lips up and take a couple of tic tacs when they’re staring at you and loudly say…goddamned veneral diseases, this fucking clap…next thing you know the doctor is gonna tell me I have syphillis. Scratch yourself and tell them you finally got rid of the crabs and now this shit. You’ll be lucky if your old man doesn’t beat the hell outta you again. Then sneeze at the crazy bastard.
