The rhyme series in the first verse (romance / chance // prince / since) uses two pairs whose sounds differ only by the vowel, which I personally find off-putting, and always change when I accidentally do it (having also written songs for movies).
I’m doing this for my own screenplay. It’s supposed to be an up-tempo, jazzy number about how the singer loves her some diamonds.
I misused the term “torch song,” clearly. Disregard that.
Okay, here’s the rest of it!
First, the bridge:
*Flowers wilt and fade
Candy makes you fat
Skip the serenade
Ice is where it’s at
No romantic trips
No soft candlelight
No poetic quips
If you want to entice me, you just have to ice me*
Then there’ll be a couple bars of music, then chorus two:
I… Like… Ice
It’s so nice
I don’t have to tell you twice
Make me sparkle in the dark and you’ll wind up in Paradise
I hope you’ve got the cash, or I’m afraid that it’s no dice
'Cause I… Like… Ice
Two faves from Bette Midler:
Miss Otis Regrets(a Cole Porter number that isn’t usually sung nearly this energetic; she sang this one on Johnny Carson’s last Tonight Show by his request)
Ooh, I LOVE “Stuff Like That There.” thanks for reminding me.
Shoo-Shoo baby!
and
Is you is or is you ain’t my baby?
I like the bridge a lot, Chef Troy. I wish I could hear it sung to the music you have in mind…
Chorus is terrific, again! Especially the “Make me sparkle” line: that has greatness.
A couple more nitpicks (of course!) on the verse:
Would “where it’s at” have been a recognized colloquialism in the forties? This source says it “gained widespread currency in the sixties”, and it definitely connotes sixties counterculture to me, not forties slang.
“To ice” someone means, of course, to kill them, and AFAIK that expression would have been around in the forties. To have the narrator use it in a positive sense of “give diamonds to” someone seems peculiar. Even if you were deliberately trying to suggest a double meaning, it still sounds “unintentionally humorous”.
I respectfully disagree with you, Kimstu, regarding “ice me”; I think it sounds intentionally humorous and I like it. Otherwise I agree.
Other “torchy” songs from the 40s:
I’ve Got It Bad and That Ain’t Good (1941)
Jim (1941)
He’s My Guy (1941)
I’m in a Jam with Baby (1944)
Waitin’ for the Train to Come In (1945)
Better Luck Next Time (1947)
Yes, it’s intentional. I’m envisioning the singer (who’s wearing a camel-chokingly large diamond necklace in the scene) making a gesture with both hands to her throat when she sings the line.
There were three iconic torch songs IMO during the war years.
We’ll meet again and The White Cliffs of Dover, best known versions of both by Vera Lynn.
It’s Been a Long Long Time – Bing Crosby
None, though, have an upbeat tempo. Inf fact, AFAIK, torch songs don’t have upbeat tempos.
You want upbeat tempo?
Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy by the Andrews Sisters
Some other choices from Bing
Give Me the Simple Life
I’m an Old Cow Hand From the Rio Grande
Swing on a Star
You Are My Sunshine
Some choices from Billie Holiday (they’ve probably all been covered a thousand times)
I Only Have Eyes for You
Blue Moon
Night and Day (You are the One)
Might be perfect for you, if maybe a little too modern (written in 1956)
Fever, best known version by Peggy Lee