Tuco wins. If you’re gonna talk, talk. If you’re gonna shoot, shoot.
Training from hell maybe but he had to ‘get creative’ to beat Cort. Not getting to serious, I believe Roland wins also.
The Kid at the Crossing though … 
course he’s not based on Clint
Toshiro Mifune was tending bar and sliced them all to pieces.
Then where is he? We certainly need him now.
Two words:
Chuck…Norris…
(yeah, I know)
Roland wins.
What about Rance Stoddard? He beat Liberty Valance, didn’t he?
No. The World’s Second Greatest Assassin does it for his kids.
Bartender: We don’t serve faster than light particles here
Tachyon walks into a bar: I’ll have a sasparilla
Ahem. Are you forgetting High Plains Drifter?
Not quite.
I’ll go with The Black Knight. He may have a scratch or a flesh wound but he’ll still be standing.
Or some semblance of life . . . They tried to warn us . . . The earth is sour . . .