Video games that would NEVER see the light of day

Cafe Society
21

Grand Theft Stroller

World of Warburton, MMORPG where you take on the role of one the characters played by Patrick Warburton. Puddy from Seinfeld moves in next door to the Griffins. What hijinks will ensue when they meet the Tick? It’s all up to you.

22

Bowel Oncologist : EXPLORATORY OP

23

Games based on LOTR seem to be popular these days, as are Sim games, where is

Sim Sail: Voyage to the Grey Havens?

24

How’s about a simple, classic FPS that, if one could get the licensing, would be a million copy best seller, even before street date:

The “It’s a Small World” FPS.
(Yes, I’m stealing the idea from something I read online a while back that stuck with me.)

25

Sims 2: Consanguinity & Beastiality expansion

  • New Relationships!
    Your sims hot siblings and parents are no longer off limits. And invite bigfoot and Rover over too!
  • New Genetics!
    In the Sims 2 sims inherit DNA for hair, eye and skin colors. Now, with closer family relationships, there’s a possibility of introducing new mutations! Will your sim’s offspring be deformed in some way? Have a lower IQ? What happens if you cross breed a sim and the family pet or bigfoot - will it look like the human parent…or not?
  • New Interests!
    Roll brand new wants like “want a hybrid baby” or “whoo hoo with cousin Daisy”
  • New Careers!
    Mad Geneticist, Family Therapist, and Homemade Porn Producer careers are included.
  • New Objects!
    [edited]
26

Airman Doors, several rape games have been done, courtesy of Japan.

They should make a MarioPaint style game where you play as Hitler. If you make good art, you go to success as the greatest German painter. Fail, and you become dictator.

27

SimHelenKeller

28

The best thing is, everyone already has this game installed, whether they know it or not. Just turn off your monitor, and that’s it.

29

Not so unlikely.

I doubt that any game concept is so unpleasant that someone won’t make one.

30

Dope Wars.

There are people who would play this game.

31

My Dinner with Andre: The Game.

32

Let’s get a bit meta:

Gold Farmer Tycoon
Office Space - The MMORPG
Alien Robot Ninja’s Pretty Princess Party
Sewer Levels 4: The Repeating

Wouldn’t surprise me if some of those actually exist, though…

33

DONKEY - PUNCH

You have thirty days in which to perform unnatural sex acts with as many different partners as possible. Points are scored by completeing acts with such names as Rusty Trombone and Dirty Sanchez.

Bonus! Send an email to the creators of the game with ideas for NEW acts! If yours is chosen, it’ll be named after you in v2.0.

34

Online Invoicing: The Game!

Try to determine the developer’s intent. 17 levels of poorly implemented web designs. Can you complete the forms before the server times out?

Created by IT personnel who know nothing about the work that actually gets done. Or have any idea about ease of use or data entry.

Multi-player action.

35

*Where in the world is Madeleine McCann? *

36

9-11 the game. Sneak onto an airplane with bolt cutters, overpower the pilots. Can you hit the twin towers with a jet? Bonus points for getting the Pentagon. Or would it be easier to plant explosives in the towers to make them collapse? Only you can decide in this explosive game!

37

“Tell Me More!”

While we’re on that tangent: Waterworld: The Game.

38

Also known as Daikatana.

39

How about a game in which you capture helpless creatures, make them live in incredibly cramped cages, and force them to do battle against each other until one of them passes out. Oh! And have them battle with like electric shocks and fireballs! Maybe get Michael Vick to endorse it.

Or Topeka.

40

Video Game - The Video Game RPG where you play a 20 year old frat boy addicted to a FPS. Strategy is paramount. Mountain Dew or Red Bull? You decide. Contains the mini game : Making Ramen Noodles