Playing with the toys in the attic (often shortened to toys in the attic)
What’s got his knickers in a twist? (when a person seems upset for no reason)
For that one, being weird isn’t enough.
[Foghorn Leghorn]
That boy’s got a mind like a steel trap - full of mice.
[/Foghorn Leghorn]
Courtesy of Billy Gibbons:
Groovin’ in a six foot circle.
My sister’s favorite observation: “Isn’t it sad when cousins marry?”
or “Did his mother have any children that lived?”
At the back of the queue when the brains were handed out.
Brain the size of a peanut.
His hard drive has a few bad sectors on it.
He’s about as effective as lighting a match underwater.
He’s a 386 in a Pentium world.
If stupidity were a crime he’d get the death penalty.
We had a coworker a few years ago who was one of those annoying people who overused the cute expressions – he was <i>always</i> describing people as “not the sharpest knife in the drawer,” “not the brightest bulb on the tree,” “not the swiftest horse in the race” etc.
One day my boss, having heard this all too many times, snapped back at him “well you’re not exactly the swiftest knife on the tree, either!”
Naturally, “not the swiftest knife on the tree” became our default expression for such a person.
Weird piece of cheese.
(I know, doesn’t make any sense; picked it up from a “theatre person” in college)
Along the cheese them of the previous poster:
The cheese fell off that cracker a long time ago.
“A different kettle of fish altogether.”
Courtsey of Frank Zappa… “Potatoe been baking just a little too long”
And the writers of Dear John…“A foot soldier in the loon platoon”
And the writers of Time Bandits…“Mercefully free of the ravages of intelegence”
A nod to and varients on PPs
His Happy Meal is so short it ain’t got a plastic toy
When they said brains, he thought trains and he’s been on the wrong track ever since.
A few cards short of a deck(Comeback…"but I can still play a mean game of Euchre)
I’ve got a few I try to use to keep up my aura of unbiased meaness (meanness? Is that even a word?) Anyway:
Not the greenest pickle in the jar
Not the longest grass in the yard
A couple beers short of a six-pack
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
Nothing’s in the attic
And my personal favorite:
S/He has the intelligence of an uncooked potato (as everyone knows, a cooked potato would be far more intelligent.)
the mall is open, but nobody’s shopping
“After you get to really know him, you’ll feel like you’ve never met.”
Tris
“You could park a car in the shadow of his ass.” ~ Geena Davis, in Thelma and Louise ~
“Ain’t right”
As in, “That boy ain’t right.” Just the way Hank Hill says it. Although a lot of us Texans have been saying it for years.
A strichtly New Zealand flavoured one:
A few sheep short of a back paddock
And my favourite for an irritating person:
Like a fart in an astronaut’s suit
“He’s an interesting group of people.”
A few Froot Loops shy of a full bowl
All foam, no beer
He’s got a photographic memory, but forgot to load the film
His antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels