When I say pathetic, I mean pathetic in the strict sense - it invokes strong feelings of pity and sadness in me. Judgemental, sure, dismissive, maybe but unkind, it’s not. I have a lot of sympathy for the less emotionally enlightened. It’s one of my many superior qualities.
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I fell for a friend once. Someone who I talked to everyday, either in person or on the phone, for hours at a time. I floated the idea of going out a couple of times, but she wasn’t interested. We stayed close friends for a while, but eventually it got to be too much for me and I needed a break to get some perspective.
I expected her to be understanding and let me get some distance for a while to get my shit together, but that was not the reaction I got. Without going into to much detail she yelled at me and told me how selfish I was. I got over her relatively quickly after that.
That seems like quite a likely outcome. Falling for someone is a game-changer - one way or the other.
I guess that’s the thing of it - whatever the answer to the OP’s question (assuming there even is one), things are not going to be the same.
Considering that the brilliant “Layla” and the cloyingly insipid “Wonderful Tonight” were written by the same artist about the same woman, before and after landing her, I’d say unrequited love is the better muse. :o
Several people are saying that you should never try and cross the boundary between friend and potential lover.
As if it’s immoral to tell a friend you like her and want to be more.
If he or she says they just want to be friends, then you must accept it.
However, friends become lovers more often than apparently the Dope thinks.
Do everything she says. If she sees that you’re willing to drop everything for her, she’s gotta respect you, and soon love you
Sure, but in trying to cross that line, one must not become (or even appear to risk becoming) a stalker, rapist, etc.
Presumably she weeds out the stalkers and rapists before entitling them “friend” status.
This board has an absurd tendency to hyperbolize the scorned-lover-turned-stalker-rapist narrative.
I would say this board has a tendency to consider all factors, regardless of topic, and that tendency is not especially absurd.