Why does semen sting the eyes

:eek: :eek: :eek:

I appreciate the OP for asking this. This question has been sitting around in my mental bank of true mystery questions for a while and I meant to ask it here but never wanted to pop the subject to really know.

Let me give you some background on this in case you want to know why it comes up. All males pass through a phase call adolescence in which not only our sex drive is supercharged but also the wiener, prostate gland, seminal vessels and the testicles themselves. I am too old for this to be a concern anymore but lots of teenage boys walk around with a high capacity loaded weapon on a hair trigger most of the time. That is the root cause of many problems of society and the stats bear that out. I can’t speak for other guys personally but I passed through a couple of stages where the effective range was measured in yards (meters for foreigners) and not inches or silly centimeters.

Back in the day, we didn’t have fancy web technology but only printed material like a stolen Playboy or just a Sears catalog and it took special positioning to make things work especially when you were just pretending to go to the bathroom. You could be sitting there having a good time but stressed to finish up before the line to the bathroom got out the battering ram and BLAMMO!, right in the eye.

That stuff stings initially but I don’t think it is the saline. The pain grows over time and it will cause your eye to get really red and swell. Great, now you have to come up with two cover stories one on top of another. Opening your eyes in salt water doesn’t do the same thing so that is not it. It is truly painful and long-lasting if you hit your pupil like a bullseye and, despite the skill involved, you don’t get a stuffed animal for it.

I have my own theory on the penonomenon but I am not sure if it is right.

Your semen are swimming hard and furiously to impregnate your own eye. They have some similar capabilities given their real purpose and try to burrow straight in. I would love to believe this isn’t true but it is the best I can come up with.

Then how come it tastes so salty?

<blushes>

<runs out of the classroom, never to be seen again>

Maybe it was the spirochetes boring into your eyeball.

Y’know, I couldn’t bring myself to ask my anatomy teacher that!

However, I have an OB rotation coming up (no pun intended) taught by a gay man who I have a pretty good rapport with…I’ll see if I can work the question into conversation in a week or two. :wink:

Dolly from the Family Circus has already covered this

I’ve never had it happen to me, but frankly, I don’t find it at all surprising. Lots of things really irritate the eye, if they get in contact with it. Eyes are just hypersensitive in general.

Are you sure it was semen?

“You ever get cum in your eye, Gabriel? IT BURRRNS!”

Mine doesn’t taste salty at all. In fact, it taste somewhat bitter, due to all the medications I take.

Hey! Kids in the back seat.

In the interest of science…

I have had a vasectomy and my semen still stings.

You must be very flexible.

Just thought I’d note that the sequential thread to this one on the board just now was labelled "How do I get this stain off my driveway

Gave me a nice laugh, which I need while working at 12:30 am.

Try having semen in your eye while you’re wearing contacts. Yeah, that put an end to the festivities.

Does it sting more after eating spicy food?

If I were that flexible, I sure wouldn’t need no medications. I’d have nature’s anti-depressant.

You’re not one of those people with a glass eye that you can pop out?

And you’re doing something dispicable in/with the eye socket?:eek::eek::eek:

Perhaps because, in order for sperm to do their job, they have to swim against a natural current that normally keeps the female reproductive system clean, basically swim upstream to get to the egg. They may be also able to do this with tears, swim against the flow that usually washes out stuff out of the eyes. Perhaps the environment of the eyeball can keep them alive and swimming for a few days.

This sounds lik a job for doper investigation. All we need is a willing subject and a shooter with a vasectomy. If it doesn’t sting after a while," VIOLA, eet iz not zee spermazoid burrowing into zee eyez!"

later, Tom.