There’s a Shania Twain song that has a line in it “All that extra-hold gel in your hair ought to lock it,” which is a really stupid lyric. My friend (it was look!ninjas) thought Shania was saying “And your extra hotel and your hair on a locket,” which makes jno sense, but gives an interesting mental picture. In the same song, there’s a line that goes, “I can’t believe you kiss your car goodnight,” but my friend heard “I can’t believe you kiss your carving knife.” I like that much better. 
Other Favorites
“Wake me up and pour me cocoa.” by Wham.
“I want a peice of date bread.” by The Ramones
Did she wonder why they wouldn’t let him go?
Smoke On The Water:
“Slow Motion Walter, fire engine guy!”
Just exactly what kind of light is “dawnzerly” light, anyway?
It’s been an extremely long time since I thought that was the actual wording, if in fact I ever did so, but still, whenever I hear “The Star-Spangled Banner” I can’t help thinking that “dawnzerly” ought to be a real word.
Big Bad Voodoo Lou posted a great one in another thread recently, from Simon & Garfunkel’s The Boxer:
“…but I get no offers, just a come-on from the horse on Second Avenue…”
I’ve embarrassed myself. That should read Seventh Avenue. Sorry, Paul.
Two obscure ones.
In Guided by Voices’ “I Am A Scientist,” I first heard the lines
I am a lost soul
I shoot myself with rock and roll
as
I am an arsehole
I shit myself with rock and roll
–which is a different image entirely, and I must say a more courageous one.
There’s a song by the Replacements with a chorus that goes “Never mind / All over but the shouting.” A friend of mine once reported that a classmate of his asked him, “What do you think Westerberg means in that song when he sings ‘I overbooked the chalet’”! Like it’s a song about a frustrated ski resort clerk or something.
In “Bad Moon Rising” by Creedence Clearwater Revival, it sounds to me like they’re telling you to “Beware of the bathroom on the right.”
Man, that’s got to be one seriously skanky bathroom if they’re warning people away from it.
I thought they lived in a castle named Orien Tower.
come on, son, the war’s on seventh avenue.
Believe it or not, for years and years I always heard
What do you mean “I’ll be around” makes more sense than “hoppin’ around”?
No? There were three of us?
Actually what I heard-- (summer of '66? Some summer when it first came out), hearing it on the radio while my friend decoded the music for guitar, and I worked on decoding the lyrics,–was that the song was giving driving directions: “Take the next right turn (take the next right turn…)”
I refused to believe that Louis Armstrong was saying;
I see trees of green, clouds of white.
The bright blessed day, ** dark sacred night.**
Instead of;
***…dogs say goodnight. ***
My earliest mondegreen:
Rock and Roll, poochie poo
Lordy mama, like my shoes.
I still sing it when I get a new pair of shoes.
In the Cars’ Bye Bye Love , I can swear I hear the lyric, “It’s just a fucking alibi”. Since I hear it on regular radio, I know that can’t be right. What is the actual lyric?
"It’s an orangy sky
always it’s some other guy
it’s just a broken lullaby
bye bye love
bye g-bye love
yeah bye bye love
bye bye love-ov-ov-ove "
(from sing365.com)
I used to hear it as, “the war zone, Seventh Avenue.”
Thanx, Mr. Blue Sky.My best friend and I used to write little comedy skits in high school. One of our recurring characters was named Johnny Scumbag–after Lesley Gore’s boyfriend in “Judy’s Turn To Cry”. Think about it. 
Dishwalla, Counting Blue Cars. I still think they’re saying “we pass many cross-eyed people.”
“Secret… Asian Man…” instead of Agent Man.
For years I misheard Simple Minds’ “Alive and Kicking” as “I Love You, Gigi” and wondered why Jim Kerr was mispronouncing “Gigi”.
English Beat, “Mirror in the Bathroom”
*Sung: *You’re my mirror in the bathroom
Heard: You might meet her in the bathroom
Beach Boys, “Fun Fun Fun”
*Sung: *You shouldn’t have lied now, you shouldn’t have lied
Heard: You shouldn’t collide now, you shouldn’t collide
(actually quite appropriate given that the song is about borrowing a car)
:)I’ll have to ask her.