I don’t get zits that release teaspoons of pus, but every few months I get those big red ones under the skin that seem to never come to a head. I usually end up scraping layers of skin off with a razor and then squeezing with everything I have to remove the pea-sized bastard waiting under there. Ironically, when I was staring in the mirror picking at the last one I found my first grey hair. What the hell?! I’m 20. If my freaking body is going to give me grey hair at 20, I think the least it could do is stop giving me zits like this!
Probably an ectopic pregnancy.
Evils of oral sex and all that.
For pity’s sake, you can’t stop there! What happened? Did you squeeeeeeze?
I had a monster cyst-like zit on my cheek during my junior year in high-school. When I first saw it, I squeezed, and it gave a weak little dribble, but I knew it wasn’t over. I let it come to a head, all the while slathering it with Oxy. Again I squeezed the hell out of it, but still just a dribble. I stuck it with a needle (not recommended, but I was a teen), it leaked, but it did not explode which was very dissatisfying. It remained with me for at least a month, going through this cycle of swelling, and squeezing. Finally, one day I buckled down for the mother of all fights with my face. What came out was fairly solid, lumpy and just smaller than a pea. The hole it came out of remained open, and I could feel the hollow space it occupied under my skin. I currently have a noticeable scar on my cheek where it was (now 20 years later). Later in life I developed another one just like it and visited a dermatologist, he injected it with something (cortisone I think), and it disappeared in a couple of days with no lasting scar.
I have 2 personal favorites.
When dinosaurs roamed the earth, and I was in high school (1976 or 77), I had one grow on my right shoulder. Of course, I popped that sucker and didn’t think anything of it. Apparently I didn’t get it all. The zit scabbed over, sealing in whatever was left. It went about a week, becoming huge and extremely painful. I couldn’t stand it any more, and peeled off the scab and squeezed.
KABLAMMO!
A fountain of pus, blood, and a solid core about the size of a pea filled my left hand, and I had the best feeling of relief ever.
The second one was in my old age. I occasionally get thigh zits, which are quite satisfying on their own. I popped one, and once again left something behind. It felt like I had a pebble under my skin. Over the next year, I tried many times to get it out, but to no avail.
One night, it was driving me crazy by itching, and I pinched the top and ripped off a little bit of skin, and squeezed. No explosion, but I got instead an inch long white tube that was about the same diameter as a ballpoint pen innard. One end was hard like a rock, and it smelled BAD. That was my introduction to sebaceous cysts.
I now have one on my back, but I can’t reach it, dammit
This is what SOs are for. I don’t know how many lumps I’ve removed from my husband’s back, but it’s a LOT.
I’m thirty-six and I still get those bastards occasionally, despite the best efforts of my dermatologist. Unfortunately, my powers of description are not up to the standards set by these other lovely posts, but I thought I would offer some advice. As soon as you get the little soreness that warns you that you might be developing something, get an ice pack on it. The more frequently you can ice it, the better. Even if you don’t succeed in scaring it off completely, you may be able to lessen the pain and swelling enough so that you aren’t tempted to take up your razor blades!
About 20 years ago, during my college years, but I think it was during the summer when college was out. I had a recurring zit in my sideburn area about level to my right eye. One night I had shaved my sideburns up to the temple & decided I was going to get that critter once & for all. Slight eruption of pus coming out like thin silly string followed by a hair, followed by another thin length of silly string pus followed by ANOTHER hair, follewed by yet a third pus silly string and yet ANOTHER hair! It was then over & I never got another zit in that spot again. I
don’t know if I had three ingrown hairs or one hair that had broken into three pieces.
I cal it The General, because it did return … over and over and over again, for well over a month. It wasn’t an extraordinarily large zit by SDMB standards – a middling popper on my neck, just below my chain, but like a cat it had multiple lives, and like a late 1970s Chrysler inline six cylinder engine, it refused to die. Pop it in the morning, and it refilled by noon. At 6:00 PM, back at home, there it was again, waiting to be squeezed again. The General demanded attention three to five times a day, for over a month.
Getting bored and fearing scarring, I finally decided to use weapons of mass destruction to put The General out of commission. Instead of merely popping The General, I instead started to squeeze it hard every time it appeared, draining every last drop of pus and lymph that was possible. I would then doused my neck in rubbing alcohol, and covered The General with a dollop of Clearasil. Not a coating - a dollop, covered with a bandage if I was going out in public. A few days later, The General surrendered, and his fortress gradually crumbled. Although no scar remains today, the memories linger.
I’ve tried several times to have her pop it, but she never gets it to go. :mad:
Wow. I stand in awe. I’ve had plenty of zits that spewed tiny bits of ick at the mirror, but nothing close to what is described here. I can’t decide if I’ve been lucky or deprived.
I guess I’ll go with lucky.
I have a basset hound, beautiful dog, who gets sebaceous cysts all the time. One memorable outbreak had one exploding while she was lying in our bed, then another going off in the back seat as I’m taking her to the vet.
We once had her operated on and they removed no less than 13 of them. But they’re coming back… You can just feel the things underneath her fur. Poor Shelby. 
Couple years ago, I had an infected sebaceous cyst on my left earlobe. It grew really fast; my earlobe became very swollen, and it jutted out at an odd angle. Finally, when my neck started to hurt (indicating that the infection was traveling) I went to the doctor.
He put a drape over my ear and injected…something, I can’t remember what, but Christ, it made my earlobe feel even more painful and distended than ever. Then, he sliced that sucker with a scalpel and squeezed. I heard a really satisfying double-“crack” as all the yuckiness left, and lord, the relief. The doctor and nurse were pretty impressed; according to the nurse, the foul stuff within hit two walls behind me, though I was sitting in a chair in the center of the room. I reckon it flew between two and three yards to accomplish that.
They packed the hole with gauze and antiseptic (which is an odd feeling, lemme tell ya. The only part that made me queasy), gave me an antibiotic scrip, and sent me home. For the rest of the day, bloodlike stuffs leaked from my lobe at random intervals. The next morning, my then-fiancee had to help me pull out the gauze strip, which I think is the true test of love.
Silly question, but wouldn’t they be prepared for this and maybe hold up a cloth or something? I understand wanting it to be free to empty itself, but letting it get all over the walls??
They might be professionals, but they’re human too… they probably were taking side bets as to distance. 
I wonder how that gets noted in the chart? 
My mom had this “pimple” on her back for many years. By the time I came along, it had become a cyst and was about the size of an egg and you could wiggle it under her skin. Basically it was a pimple that she never could really work on because of the location (just above her bra band). She finally had it removed in a dermatologist’s office when I was 16. It was huge, about the size of a grapefruit. It had calcified and Mom says she could here the clang of it hitting the metal bowl when it was removed. But, holy cow, it smelled something awful. I’m waiting in the lobby and could smell it. Mom has a 6 inch scar now but in 25 years the cyst hasn’t come back.
Not so much, although I’m sure the doc was very glad he’d worn a face shield. Most surfaces in those rooms are a snap to wipe clean, so they probably figure it’s easier to just clean up afterward than make preparations that may not be necessary.
My sister had a pimple-turned-cyst behind her ear. By the time I noticed it, it looked like a purple and blue Easter egg. She had to have it removed by a doctor, and it exploded into a bunch of pus and blood clots! She ended up with a five inch scar.
Eh, she probably gives up too easily. Try wetting a washcloth with hot tap water, squeeze out as much water as possible, and hold that over the inflamed area for half an hour. THEN have her try to pop it. She might need to lance it, or you might need to have a doctor do it. IANAD, but I’ve lanced plenty of zits in my time.