# Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports **URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/c/comments-on-cecils-columns-staff-reports/7.md?page=69 [Latest](https://boards.straightdope.com/latest.md) · [Categories](https://boards.straightdope.com/categories.md) · [Tags](https://boards.straightdope.com/tags.md) **Page:** 70 --- ## [Mormon "Secret" Marriages: The Real Straight Dope](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mormon-secret-marriages-the-real-straight-dope/596605)
**Author:** [@SlimCH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlimCH)\ **Replies:** 3\ **Last updated:** [September 19, 2011, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mormon-secret-marriages-the-real-straight-dope/596605 "2011-09-19T20:10:42Z")
Let me begin by saying that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints sometimes referred to as Mormon and I promise to give you the straight dope as far as is appropriate to do so in this forum. Fi… --- ## [RE: Urinal 101....](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-urinal-101/595567)
**Author:** [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Replies:** 24\ **Last updated:** [September 19, 2011, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-urinal-101/595567 "2011-09-19T19:53:00Z")
Well, since I finally broke down and became a subscriber in order to add my rude comments to the other rude comments on the message boards, I might as well contribute to updating the Dope archives as well. There are bet… --- ## [Regarding the oil](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-the-oil/596526)
**Author:** [@jharby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jharby)\ **Replies:** 3\ **Last updated:** [September 16, 2011, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-the-oil/596526 "2011-09-16T22:20:08Z")
I’ve enjoyed your commentary on the oil situation. I don’t think the Earth will “cave in” due to removal of oil either but I do have some concerns. First, by the law of conservation of mass and mass distribution, by remo… --- ## [Chicago Song 25 or 6 to 4](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chicago-song-25-or-6-to-4/596469)
**Author:** [@NicNice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicNice)\ **Replies:** 0\ **Last updated:** [September 16, 2011, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chicago-song-25-or-6-to-4/596469 "2011-09-16T02:42:14Z")
Thanks for clearing that up. Was listening to Chicago today.:slight\_smile: --- ## [A machine that generates more power than it uses.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/595395)
**Author:** [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Replies:** 20\ **Last updated:** [September 15, 2011, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/595395 "2011-09-15T17:47:00Z")
It’s easy to design a machine or device where output power exceeds input power. It’s impossible to create a machine or device where output energy exceeds input energy. My point is that the title should be changed to, “… --- ## [Do "close door" buttons on elevators ever actually work?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-close-door-buttons-on-elevators-ever-actually-work/595709)
**Author:** [@jamesd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jamesd)\ **Replies:** 8\ **Last updated:** [September 15, 2011, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-close-door-buttons-on-elevators-ever-actually-work/595709 "2011-09-15T05:12:45Z")
The elevators in our building (built by Mitsubishi) have doors that will not close UNTIL you hit the ‘close door’ button. ETA: Do “close door” buttons on elevators ever actually work? - The Straight Dope Link to Column --- ## [Urinal 101](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-101/596346)
**Author:** [@mathius\_dragoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mathius_dragoon)\ **Replies:** 1\ **Last updated:** [September 15, 2011, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-101/596346 "2011-09-15T01:58:09Z")
Referring to this column: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2450/urinal-101-aim-for-the-back-wall-or-the-water Anybody who has had a lick of materials science classes should see the obvious problem with urinals. … --- ## [What does the $ in the dollar bill stand for?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-in-the-dollar-bill-stand-for/594003)
**Author:** [@PortugeeStud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PortugeeStud)\ **Replies:** 47\ **Last updated:** [September 15, 2011, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-in-the-dollar-bill-stand-for/594003 "2011-09-15T01:32:06Z")
The reason we use the dollar ($) symbol in our currency is because back when the US began using its own currency. It stood for ‘Independent States’. According the Constitution, each State can join the Republic whenever i… --- ## [Cecil's Overhead Crane Incident?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecils-overhead-crane-incident/596148)
**Author:** [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Replies:** 2\ **Last updated:** [September 14, 2011, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecils-overhead-crane-incident/596148 "2011-09-14T12:22:45Z")
From this column, dated July 4, 1986 Cecil writes… I checked my old books and and tried an archive search but to no avail. So… has some other day arrived yet? --- ## [But we don’t know enough about HGH??](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/but-we-don-t-know-enough-about-hgh/596191)
**Author:** [@AlexMartinMD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlexMartinMD)\ **Replies:** 1\ **Last updated:** [September 13, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/but-we-don-t-know-enough-about-hgh/596191 "2011-09-13T19:57:22Z")
The recurring refrain, “But we don’t know enough about HGH….,” appears in even some of the best written articles on HGH designed to popularize a difficult and complicated subject. Cecil Adams’ article “Can Human Growth … --- ## [Requesting info. regarding Statue of Liberty's arm closure](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/requesting-info-regarding-statue-of-libertys-arm-closure/596103)
**Author:** [@cdriver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cdriver)\ **Replies:** 1\ **Last updated:** [September 12, 2011, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/requesting-info-regarding-statue-of-libertys-arm-closure/596103 "2011-09-12T23:07:21Z")
Where can I find more information on the following statement regarding the arm/flame of the statue of liberty closure? “The closing gave rise to a rumor that the statue had been damaged the previous year by a massive exp… --- ## [Why are there holes in the prongs of electrical plugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-there-holes-in-the-prongs-of-electrical-plugs/594387)
**Author:** [@wbenzoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wbenzoni)\ **Replies:** 6\ **Last updated:** [September 12, 2011, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-there-holes-in-the-prongs-of-electrical-plugs/594387 "2011-09-12T15:27:09Z")
The holes are to help with manufacturing. --- ## [Re: Urinal 101, Best known urinal target](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-urinal-101-best-known-urinal-target/595873)
**Author:** [@sdean7855](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sdean7855)\ **Replies:** 0\ **Last updated:** [September 10, 2011, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-urinal-101-best-known-urinal-target/595873 "2011-09-10T23:43:28Z")
Apparently Icelandic men are known for being incredibly reckless (while the women hold everything together) and a bunch of them blew up the country’s financial stability in the latest bubble…and then fled the country. S… --- ## [A "glove story"](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-glove-story/594385)
**Author:** [@Ishmael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ishmael)\ **Replies:** 1\ **Last updated:** [September 8, 2011, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-glove-story/594385 "2011-09-08T19:44:06Z")
Dear Cecile: This is in regards to one of your “recent classics” – “Why do you always see just one shoe by the side of the road? May 29, 1992” A friend of mine in Seattle spent several years taking photographs of “lone… --- ## [H1N1 flu](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/h1n1-flu/593620)
**Author:** [@Uncertain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncertain)\ **Replies:** 10\ **Last updated:** [September 4, 2011, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/h1n1-flu/593620 "2011-09-04T15:25:44Z")
The column about hand sanitizer says this (bolding added): Huh? What is this supposed to mean? There were tens of millions of H1N1 cases in the US in 2009, corresponding to more than 10% of the population. --- ## [Fatties in the Steno Pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fatties-in-the-steno-pool/595131)
**Author:** [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Replies:** 0\ **Last updated:** [September 4, 2011, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fatties-in-the-steno-pool/595131 "2011-09-04T03:29:27Z")
If you do a straight-line extrapolation of the weight gain year by year, you’d find that the 120 lb. secretary of 1958 now not only weighs 285 lb. but she is also dead! Since I frequently climb on Cecil - a horrifying t… --- ## [RE: Gasoline from a pill](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-gasoline-from-a-pill/595078)
**Author:** [@Flaming\_Mame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flaming_Mame)\ **Replies:** 1\ **Last updated:** [September 3, 2011, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-gasoline-from-a-pill/595078 "2011-09-03T17:58:49Z")
I knew Guido Franch. I used to work nights at the Mister Donut in Villa Park, and Mr. Franch was a frequent customer. Sometimes he’d come to the shop in the morning when I got off of work and take me out for a drink. … --- ## [About the Cubed Planet Piece](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-the-cubed-planet-piece/594959)
**Author:** [@BlueCollarCritic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueCollarCritic)\ **Replies:** 1\ **Last updated:** [September 2, 2011, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/about-the-cubed-planet-piece/594959 "2011-09-02T15:42:27Z")
“Fighting Ignorance Since 1976” Cecil, that is your tagline isn’t it? Does it irk you when a celebrity, say a movie star, decides to be a spokesperson for something they know absolutely nothing about like science, and d… --- ## [RE: Why are dogs' noses always wet?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-why-are-dogs-noses-always-wet/594939)
**Author:** [@aleutian1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aleutian1)\ **Replies:** 1\ **Last updated:** [September 2, 2011, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-why-are-dogs-noses-always-wet/594939 "2011-09-02T11:55:07Z")
Really? A veterinarian told you it was just because they lick their noses? Find a new vet. Dog’s noses also secrete mucus, which helps them smell and helps keep them cool. My dog’s nose was always wet, and the only t… --- ## [On a slow boat to China](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-slow-boat-to-china/594335)
**Author:** [@geno\_b](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/geno_b)\ **Replies:** 6\ **Last updated:** [September 2, 2011, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-slow-boat-to-china/594335 "2011-09-02T03:16:37Z")
Does anyone know the origin of this phrase. I know someone wrote a song using the already popular phrase, and I know it is used in poker. But, I remember a history teacher in high school taught that it began when a kin… --- ## [Spelling of the erstwhile Libyan Leaders name](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spelling-of-the-erstwhile-libyan-leaders-name/594189)
**Author:** [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Replies:** 3\ **Last updated:** [September 2, 2011, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spelling-of-the-erstwhile-libyan-leaders-name/594189 "2011-09-02T00:47:16Z")
25 years ago Cecil attempted to explain one of the mysteries of our time; how to spell. Gadhafi /Qaddafhi/ Khadaffis name. Now as his passport has beendiscovered, should’nt that controversy end? --- ## [Fingernails scraping on a blackboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fingernails-scraping-on-a-blackboard/587181)
**Author:** [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Replies:** 11\ **Last updated:** [September 1, 2011, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fingernails-scraping-on-a-blackboard/587181 "2011-09-01T15:01:40Z")
Interesting column. I’d never heard of any research on this momentous question before. It seems to me that Star Wars in the first sentence should not be italicized as, in context and given the date of the column, it … --- ## [What does it mean when "X percent chance of rain" is predicted? An Update??](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-it-mean-when-x-percent-chance-of-rain-is-predicted-an-update/594740)
**Author:** [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Replies:** 4\ **Last updated:** [August 31, 2011, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-it-mean-when-x-percent-chance-of-rain-is-predicted-an-update/594740 "2011-08-31T19:24:31Z")
I was just listening to my local radio station here in Houston, TX, where they do “Dumb question amnesty” at the end of each month. A caller asked the question “What does 30% chance rain really mean? Is it a probability … --- ## [Blinded by the Light](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blinded-by-the-light/593038)
**Author:** [@MacLir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacLir)\ **Replies:** 11\ **Last updated:** [August 31, 2011, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blinded-by-the-light/593038 "2011-08-31T18:38:22Z")
The generally accepted version of the second line is ♫ Revved up like a Deuce … ♫ which fits with the Deuce Coupe theory. The most common Mondegreen of the line is ♫Wrapped up like a douche … ♫ which is about as weird a… --- ## [Re: What would it be like walking around on a cube-shaped planet?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-what-would-it-be-like-walking-around-on-a-cube-shaped-planet/594617)
**Author:** [@MarkAJA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MarkAJA)\ **Replies:** 2\ **Last updated:** [August 30, 2011, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-what-would-it-be-like-walking-around-on-a-cube-shaped-planet/594617 "2011-08-30T22:09:07Z")
This is a stupid question as we all know that the Earth is not a cube. The Earth is flat. If the Earth was a PERFECT cube then there would be no hills or vales, so all sea water would cover the whole planed. There wo… --- ## [Update to "K-mart" column](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-to-k-mart-column/594526)
**Author:** [@Randy\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randy_Seltzer)\ **Replies:** 1\ **Last updated:** [August 30, 2011, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-to-k-mart-column/594526 "2011-08-30T19:44:09Z")
The first thing Cecil does in this 1987 column is chastise the questioner for misspelling the name of the store: But some brief tooling around the internet suggests that since 1977, the company has been called “kmart… --- ## [Hammer and sickle on Kennedy half dollars](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammer-and-sickle-on-kennedy-half-dollars/314423)
**Author:** [@skyfein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/skyfein)\ **Replies:** 4\ **Last updated:** [August 29, 2011, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammer-and-sickle-on-kennedy-half-dollars/314423 "2011-08-29T18:19:39Z")
Gilroy Roberts’ “signature” on the Kennedy half dollar is not composed of two stylized G’s set back to back, as Cecil says, but of the initials GR. (This is clear from a quick glance at the enlarged pictures of the coin … --- ## [Cube-shaped Planet and Central ... Waterdrops?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cube-shaped-planet-and-central-waterdrops/594129)
**Author:** [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)\ **Replies:** 6\ **Last updated:** [August 28, 2011, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cube-shaped-planet-and-central-waterdrops/594129 "2011-08-28T09:45:46Z")
What would it be like walking around on a cube-shaped planet? If I’m not mistaken, we kicked this around some years ago in General Questions. One fuzzy notion that pokes through the detrious of my brain is that we conc… --- ## [re:- Why do outhouse doors have half-moons on them? January 9, 1987](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-why-do-outhouse-doors-have-half-moons-on-them-january-9-1987/594017)
**Author:** [@Gaijininja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaijininja)\ **Replies:** 2\ **Last updated:** [August 28, 2011, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/re-why-do-outhouse-doors-have-half-moons-on-them-january-9-1987/594017 "2011-08-28T01:25:57Z")
Dear Cecil. I just wanted to let you and the Teemings know that the expression “Built like a brick \_\_\_\_ house” in Australia dousn’t mean good looking, it means strong, bulky, big, etc. eg, “Wow, that boxer is built like … --- ## [Straight Dope column "cube-shaped planet" linked on Hacker News](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-column-cube-shaped-planet-linked-on-hacker-news/594236)
**Author:** [@xash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xash)\ **Replies:** 1\ **Last updated:** [August 27, 2011, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/straight-dope-column-cube-shaped-planet-linked-on-hacker-news/594236 "2011-08-27T17:57:11Z")
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