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MacSpon
01-08-2003, 06:32 PM
Okay, so I'll readily agree that book burning is generally a bad thing. But, honest to God!

Normally, when I don't care for a book I've bought, I'll take it down to the second-hand shop and at least get a couple of bucks back. But twice now, I've finished a book and just loathed it so much that I physically destroyed the book rather than let another person go anywhere near the turkey.

(I can't name the books; I've finally managed to block the titles from my memory. But the authors were big names in their fields, so I could look them up if I wanted. I don't want.)

Anyone else with similar experiences?

Lynster
01-08-2003, 06:42 PM
I agree that generally, burning not OK.

Books I have personally destroyed? That guy who wrote Bridges of Madison County. I read 'Slow Waltz at Cedar Bend', or whatever that book was called. If it is indeed a 'slow waltz', how apt. So boring. So annoying. So pretensious. I threw the book in to the paper recycling.

I found American Psycho really awful. I have read good things by the author, and yes, I know it's a parody, or self aware, or whatever - but I just found many passages to be horrific. Couldn't burn it though, it was a friend's copy. If it was mine? yeah, I probably would have chucked it.

Cisco
01-08-2003, 06:44 PM
Nope. It's weird but I've never really hated a book. In fact, I think the only book I ever quit reading after more than 10 pages was Interview with a Vampire. I didn't really hate it, it just got boring and I was uninterested in the story and characters about halfway through.

Diogenes the Cynic
01-08-2003, 06:46 PM
What the hell, I'll be the first...Atlas Shrugged, The Fountainhead, the Left Behind series and the very worst book I've ever read...The Sword of Shanara.

Burn them, burn them all!

Lissa
01-08-2003, 06:48 PM
The only spanking I ever recieved at the hands of my mother happened when I was four, and it was because I had ripped pages from a book.

Since then, no matter how excreble I find a book, I cannot destroy it. I'm a voracious reader, and I don't like libraries, because they want the books back, thus a sizable part of my income goes to Amazon.com. I have learned the hard way that one cannot always depend on the customer reviews.

I take the ones I dub a Waste of a Tree to the local used-book store, which is primarily stocked with Harlequin Romances from the late 80's. No matter how bad the book I am selling, it can be no worse than what they carry in profusion.

OpalCat
01-08-2003, 06:49 PM
Dammit, someone beat me to the Left Behind books :(

OpalCat
01-08-2003, 06:51 PM
Lissa! You feel the same way I do about libraries!!

MacSpon
01-08-2003, 06:59 PM
Funny thing is, both of the books I destroyed were by authors whose other books I've enjoyed. Maybe that was part of it -- an obscure sense of betrayal, or something.

Einmon
01-08-2003, 07:01 PM
While I in no way endorse book burning, a Sidney Sheldon novel once almost made me start a little fire right there in my living room....

Mercifully I have forgotten its title, but I hazard the guess that all of his novels probably are pretty similar.

lukaspriest
01-08-2003, 07:10 PM
Mein Kampf (My Struggle), by Hitler

DarkWriter
01-08-2003, 08:50 PM
I wanted to beat Thomas Harris and Ira Levin about their heads with hardback copies of Hannibal and Son of Rosemary, respectively.

Krisfer the Cat
01-08-2003, 08:59 PM
Anything EVER written by John Steinbeck... god if I ever wanted to commit suicide I'd read his collected works and die of despair

Mr. Blue Sky
01-08-2003, 09:09 PM
Many years ago, closeout book stores were all the rage. Most of the time you could some great deals, sometimes not. I was in the fiction section one day and a book entitled The Building. I don't recall the author. It was about a run down apartment building in New York. IIRC, there was very little in the way of proper punctuation. After about three chapters I had to put it down. This was probably one THE worst pieces of crap I had ever (tried to) read. I didn't destroy it (SACRILEGE!), but I did drop it in a Goodwill box. Hopefully, someone bought and could enjoy it.

bobblehead
01-08-2003, 09:14 PM
Burning books is a SIN!

firagon
01-08-2003, 09:31 PM
Fahrenheit 451!

Just kidding, I liked that book. But oh, the irony!

Smeghead
01-08-2003, 09:50 PM
The complete works of L. Ron Hubbard. I'd buy them just so I could burn them, but that would involve giving my money to whoever owns the rights.

Cisco
01-08-2003, 09:57 PM
Originally posted by lukaspriest
Mein Kampf (My Struggle), by Hitler



Mind if I ask why? Did you find it to be a particularly poor written or boring book, as the OP entails?

Mr. Blue Sky
01-08-2003, 09:59 PM
Originally posted by Smeghead
The complete works of L. Ron Hubbard. I'd buy them just so I could burn them, but that would involve giving my money to whoever owns the rights.

I must share my secret book shame: back in the 80's, I bought the entire Invader's Plan in HARDBACK! I had no idea who Hubbard was. After numerous changes of address, I found these in a box. I had discovered what Hubbard was all about. This was the ONLY time I ever destroyed books and I hated myself for doing it spite of what I had found out. Believe me, if I had known, I would NEVER have even read the dust jacket.

CrankyAsAnOldMan
01-08-2003, 10:02 PM
"Suzanne's Diary For Nicholas" nearly had me lunging for a matchbook. And like others of you, I revere books and can't stand to see them thrown out!

fiztig
01-08-2003, 10:06 PM
hmmm... how about Crossroads of Twilight, the latest installment in the interminable Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan.

Actually, I take that back - I'd just burn half of it.. and half of each of the previous two books - then I'd glue the remaining pages together to make one book that actually went somewhere. Now if only RJ or Harriet had done that we could have had a decent book that didn't take 6 freaking years to develop some actual plot.

*goes back to hammock, sniffing and braid-tugging along the way*

AncientHumanoid
01-08-2003, 10:11 PM
I give bad books to the library. Anonymously.

Duke
01-08-2003, 10:49 PM
Maybe no book does deserve burning.

But I personally feel James Michener's books, Chesapeake in particular, might profitably be used as drywall insulation. They're nice and thick, too, so your house would stay particularly warm.

SolGrundy
01-08-2003, 10:59 PM
It's a comic book, but Blade of the Immortal by Hiroaki Samura. I don't think of myself as a prude, but this book is objectionable on every possible level. Horribly misogynistic, sacreligious, pointless, and worst of all, just dumb. I bought the thing thinking "Hey, looks like a supernatural Lone Wolf and Cub!" Now I don't even like having the thing in my house, and I don't know how to get rid of it. I'm against book-burning, not because of the principle but just because I'm such a cheapskate.

I'd agree with the previous mention of Hannibal. I was about to throw it away before I remembered I'd borrowed it from a friend.

dejahma
01-08-2003, 11:03 PM
1) The Bridges of Madison County. I actually had arguments with women who were convinced this was a true story.

2) Wild in the Streets. A sixties book about 14 year olds getting the vote. Don't trust anyone over 15. I was about 16 at the time and still recognized it as excrement.

stpauler
01-08-2003, 11:05 PM
Originally posted by bobblehead
Burning books is a SIN!

Well, that gives my vote to burn the bible even more resolute.

Master Wang-Ka
01-08-2003, 11:18 PM
"Wild In The Streets" was a book?

I have a copy of the movie on video. It's crap, too, but it's FUNNY crap, at least, and has Richard Pryor in it.

As to burning books... why bother? Crappy books fade into oblivion, anyway.

...and stuff like "Mein Kampf" and "The Turner Diaries" need to stick with us... to remind us of the madness in men's souls, and the need to keep an eye peeled for the loonies BEFORE they blow stuff up, instead of AFTER...

The Ace of Swords
01-08-2003, 11:18 PM
No book deserves burning: Even the most execrable book illuminates some dark corner of the mind. Someone wrote child pornography? Might help catch a killer if detectives have access.

Mein Kampf? Insight into a dictatorial mind. The Turner Diaries? Eerie insight into Oklahoma City.

There was one book, a fantasy novel that someone posted in MSIPMS; written with horrid puncuation, the most florid purple meaningless prose you can imagine, and allegedly with all the tab stops screwed up in book form!

It was awful, yes, but awfully funny! So Nae to the burning, lads...

Banquet Bear
01-08-2003, 11:34 PM
...ditto on the Hanibal thing...

SPOILERS-OF A SORT...

I loved the books Red Dragon and Silence of the Lambs, and looked forward to reading the conclusion. But about three-quarters of the way through the book, you get a clear sense of how Harris is going to end the book, so your reading accelerates, and your sense of anger and disbelief go through the roof, and you just skim the last couple of pages and you just want to THROW THE THING ON THE NEAREST FIRE!!!

dejahma
01-08-2003, 11:36 PM
Yes Wild in the Streets was a book in the 60's. Every other word was the F word. Basic premise was that 16 year olds should get to vote. This was when voting age was 21 and draft age was 18 and in real life people were trying to get the voting age reduced to 18, "If I have to die for my country don't I at least get to vote on it?" No and you don't get to drink either, lol.

I think I may be the only person to ever read the book, lol. But I still remember it as one of the stupidist books I've ever read. Eventually everyone over 21 got sent to concentration camps. LOL, who would do all the work?

tracer
01-09-2003, 12:24 AM
Originally posted by Lissa
I take the ones I dub a Waste of a Tree to the local used-book store, which is primarily stocked with Harlequin Romances from the late 80's. No matter how bad the book I am selling, it can be no worse than what they carry in profusion.
I read a Danielle Steel romance novel once. It involved a wealthy, successful news anchorwoman falling madly in love with a wealthy, successful doctor. But the two of them couldn't find true happiness until the wealthy, successful doctor sold his big, perfect, multimillion-dollar mansion and bought an even bigger, more perfect, more multimillion-dollar mansion for the two of them to live together in.

I guess the moral of the story was supposed to be that how "romantic" a home or a vacation or a gift is, is measured by its price tag.

tracer
01-09-2003, 12:28 AM
Originally posted by Banquet Bear
I loved the books Red Dragon and Silence of the Lambs,
I found the book Red Dragon to be a big disappointment. If I pick up a book titled Red Dragon, dog gone it, there ought to be a red dragon in it somewhere! Preferably a huge ancient red dragon with 88 hit points (1st Edition) that still has its full complement of 3 breath-weapon usages per day when he meets the hapless adventurers.

Smeghead
01-09-2003, 12:45 AM
Originally posted by tracer
I found the book Red Dragon to be a big disappointment. If I pick up a book titled Red Dragon, dog gone it, there ought to be a red dragon in it somewhere! Preferably a huge ancient red dragon with 88 hit points (1st Edition) that still has its full complement of 3 breath-weapon usages per day when he meets the hapless adventurers.

Geek.

:D

Achernar
01-09-2003, 12:55 AM
This thread has inspired me to compose and publish a really lousy book that emits a pleasant, fruity aroma when burned. That way, as people burn it, they'll catch the delightful scent and think, "Hey, that's kind of cool." and they'll forget why they disliked the book in the first place.

While I don't think I'd ever burn a book, this sacrosanct reverence for the written word does not extend to all forms of information. *cough* AOL CDs *cough*

kaylasdad99
01-09-2003, 12:57 AM
Well, when the phone book distributors drop off the third set of Yellow Pages in as many weeks on my front doorstep, I'm longing for a fireplace...

shell
01-09-2003, 01:23 AM
I'd burn Valley of the Dolls . I managed two pages before throwing the book across the room and yelling " Light reading for the subliterate".

reprise
01-09-2003, 01:26 AM
Everything ever written by Patricia Cornwell.

Kang and Kodos
01-09-2003, 02:47 AM
Without a doubt, THE REGULATORS by Stephen King/Richard Bachman. What a horribly, horribly written book. Easily the worst book I've ever read. Ever.

And bear in mind I'm still considering those Choose-An-Ending adventure books I read when I was 11.

senor
01-09-2003, 03:10 AM
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

Kezermezer
01-09-2003, 03:20 AM
I had forgotten the title of this book (blocked it out on purpose actually, I think) but I looked it up just now so I could tell anyone reading this specifically to not read this book whatever you do. Be you sitting on the toilet, feeling a long wait coming on, or just begining a twelve hour plane ride realizing you haven't got anything to read but this book, do not read it!
It was rather hard to figure out if I had the right title as even after seeing it I couldn't remember for sure if it was the book I was thinking of (that's how deeply I'd burried it in my subconscious) and I finally did figure it out by reading some people's reviews on Amazon, and all those people liked it. The thought that comes to my mind is that they must all be insane. But if someone is reading this thread thinking "Hey, I read that, and it was wonderful!" please don't jump on me. Or ever run into me in a dark alley.
The Trap by Tabitha King.
I decided to give her a try and this was the first book I grabbed off the library shelf (I for one LOVE libraries!). I will never, ever, evereverever pick up another of her books again.
I think it just may kill me.

lukaspriest
01-09-2003, 04:22 AM
I'd burn Mein Kampf for what it advocates.

Zorro
01-09-2003, 04:38 AM
I have never burned a book, and I probably never will unless I have nothing else to light a fire with and the situation is desperate. However, back in the days before Tony said we couldn't, I emptied a revolver into a copy of Emma by Jane Austen. I hated that book. I still do.

Einmon
01-09-2003, 04:39 AM
Originally posted by The Ace of Swords
It was awful, yes, but awfully funny! So Nae to the burning, lads... [/B]

Come to think about it, I laughed quite a bit about the crappy Sidney Sheldon I read, so I have to agree...

"Tracy", he said, in a very heavy German accent...

I rest my case.

jjimm
01-09-2003, 04:40 AM
Once again, I confess to the only book I've ever burned - The Bible Code - which I threw on the fire. I did it because it was bullshit of the highest order, and I couldn't even give it away (it was given to me by my brother-in-law, who begged me to take it because he hated it so much), rather than for any superstitious reasons.

Mort Furd
01-09-2003, 05:26 AM
I've never burned a book. I share the same aversion to destroying them most others here seem to share.
I have, however, shredded one on purpose. I would have pissed on the pieces, too but I lwas living in the barracks on an Air Force base at the time and couldn't think of anyplace to do the deed that wouldn't involve embarrassment.
I've managed to block the name and author of that accursed thing rather completely from my mind. All I remember is what caused my disgust after less than ten pages. The book was some kind of fantasy crap (which I almost never read) and started off with the high priest of some satanist like bunch of sickos preparing for a ceremony. That didn't bother me, really. I hadn't gotten far enough to know if this was supposed to be the bad guy or if the whole book was going to be about this sicko. Nope. What got me was the glowing prose used to descibe the whole thing. It seemed like whoever wrote it must have gotten off on the shit. It was written from the point of view of the priest as he was going through his preparations. He put on his ceremonial robe, and as he was doing so he thought fondly back to the days when he himself made the robe from the skin of a still living virgin and how much he enjoyed peeling it from her body and how the blood ran and how she screamed and oh how lovely the echoes were. It went on for several pages like that, with lurid and gory detail about many of the things to be used in the ceremony. It made me sick. It made me feel filthy for having read it.
As the priest was finally going to getting ready to actually start the ceremony it dawned on me that things could only get worse, so I stopped reading and shredded it. Right that moment. Ripped it down the spine a few times, and then tore the pages across, and then kept on tearing until there was nothing bigger than an inch across left. I couldn't burn it in hte barracks, and I couldn't think of anyway to piss on it without being seen and embarrassed, so I took it out and dumped the pieces into the three dumpsters outback, spreading the crap amongst them so as not to make any one dumpster sick enough to puke that shit back up.
Other than that, books that qualify as a waste of trees (specifically including anything written by Ray Bradbury) get sold or dumped on ... er um ... donated to the local library.
BTW:
I didn't intentionally by that vile piece of shit. It was in a box of used books that I had bought somewhere cheap. There were some pretty good books in there, but that one was just too awful.

Evil Death
01-09-2003, 05:59 AM
Everything Irvine Welsh has ever written should be used as kindling for copies of that fucking movie based on one of his books. Then, because Welsh is the vilest human being alive, throw him on top.

flodnak
01-09-2003, 06:03 AM
Originally posted by lukaspriest
I'd burn Mein Kampf for what it advocates. Irony really is dead.

airdisc
01-09-2003, 06:08 AM
Julius Caesar by Shakespeare. If I ever see that train wreck of a book again, I stick it through a woodchipper.

DarRRva
01-09-2003, 06:54 AM
Originally posted by Lynster
I agree that generally, burning not OK.


I found American Psycho really awful. I have read good things by the author, and yes, I know it's a parody, or self aware, or whatever - but I just found many passages to be horrific. Couldn't burn it though, it was a friend's copy. If it was mine? yeah, I probably would have chucked it.

How is American Pyscho worth burning? Because it is fantastically well written, or actually allows you to think slightly for yourself. I mean, sure its very graphic but the gratuitous violence/sex is needed for the author to convey the intenteded message of the text.

DarRRva
01-09-2003, 06:56 AM
The Whole of the Moon

lesa
01-09-2003, 07:17 AM
My brother once appalled a friend by ripping the introduction out of a book. He said the book itself was fine (a classic of some kind), but the introduction was awful. The introduction was about the person writing the introduction, not the book or the book's author.

So my brother ripped it out and threw it away. Our friend called it censorship. But my brother said, No, I'm not stopping anyone else from reading it. I just don't want to see it again.

spudmanyeah
01-09-2003, 07:43 AM
I'd agree with the half-a-Crossroads of Twilight.

What actually happens in this book?

I know I'm gonna incense people here, but the book I hated most of all was "A picture of Dorian Grey".

I wouldn't burn it though, it would probably disappear up its own arse (is this possible)

raygirvan
01-09-2003, 08:06 AM
I once burned a copy of a paperback SF novel called Habitation One by Frederick Dunstan. It combined daft sadism (a character had his moustache ripped out by hydraulic jack) with outrageously bad physics. The combination of seeing this ludicrous novel in print, from a local author I didn't like, when I'd just had my own novel rejected, was just too much ...

As to books which ought to be burned, I've a very large list. everything by JK Rowling, Agatha Christie and Jeffrey Archer; Michael Frayn's Copenhagen; all plays by Alan Ayckbourn (and in fact any plays that are regularly staged by am-dram companies); all Mills & Boon style romances; Colin Dexter's novels (now the Morse series is safely filmed, no-one needs to read the excruciatingly pompous source books any more); all Tolkien-clone fantasy; all novels by celebrities; and so on.

Indygrrl
01-09-2003, 09:13 AM
Man Crazy, by Joyce Carol Oates, was a shameful waste of paper by a usually talented author. I thought the writing was terrible and the subject matter was gratuitously violent without any real point.

LurkMeister
01-09-2003, 09:15 AM
Originally posted by dejahma
Yes Wild in the Streets was a book in the 60's. Every other word was the F word. Basic premise was that 16 year olds should get to vote. This was when voting age was 21 and draft age was 18 and in real life people were trying to get the voting age reduced to 18, "If I have to die for my country don't I at least get to vote on it?" No and you don't get to drink either, lol.

I think I may be the only person to ever read the book, lol. But I still remember it as one of the stupidist books I've ever read. Eventually everyone over 21 got sent to concentration camps. LOL, who would do all the work?
Actually, at least one other person read it - me. And I agree with you, it's among the stupidest books I've ever read. IIRC the last scene in the book was some 10 or 12 year old kids talking about how when they get to vote they'll get rid of all the "old people" - meaning the 18 year olds.

I've never deliberately destroyed a book but I did throw one in the garbage rather than pass it on. I'd picked it up at a garage sale out of curiousity; it was one of those "television is rotting the morals of this country" diatribes whose authors seemed to think that everything after "Ozzie & Harriet" and "Father Knows Best" was immoral trash and the FCC should be given absolute control over everything that was aired on TV.

And yes, I'm aware of the irony involved in my effectively censoring the authors because I didn't agree with their beliefs.

Mort Furd
01-09-2003, 10:05 AM
Originally posted by LurkMeister
And yes, I'm aware of the irony involved in my effectively censoring the authors because I didn't agree with their beliefs.
That is not censorship. You didn't destroy all copies of it or try to prevent other people from reading it. You just disposed of your own copy.

NailBunny
01-09-2003, 10:19 AM
How bizarre. I can't imagine anyone hating Julius Caesar or The Regulators. But, opinions are like assholes, I guess...

I wouldn't burn it, because I think that somehow in some way it is a good piece of writing (I just can't for the life of me figure out how), but I really, really despised Naked Lunch. When I was done with it, I totally felt like Nelson in The Simpsons: "I can think of two things wrong with that title."

Seriously, you know how other people make you read their poetry sometimes, and it's a whole page of just random gibberish but you feel like you should really be getting something out of it but you're totally not? Imagine HUNDREDS OF PAGES OF THAT, and you have Naked Lunch.

susan_foster
01-09-2003, 10:21 AM
Burnt Offerings by Laurell K. Hamilton. I liked the rest of the series before that - but that one I just hated, loathed and despised.

Susan

Neurotik
01-09-2003, 10:42 AM
I can think of several books that should be burned, just to prevent psychotic english lit. professors from forcing their subjects to be tortured by them.

Moby Dick. Good. God. Almighty. Look, I know whaling was a popular subject back in the 1800s, but it's dreadfully boring in the here and now.

Frankenstein. Kill me now. Most boring book on the face of the earth that has been most misinterpreted in popular culture.

The Old Man and the Sea. Just because I wrote a fantastic, researched, original paper interpreting the book and got a bad grade because it wasn't the traditional intepretation of the book and I'm still bitter.

Misha77
01-09-2003, 10:46 AM
There are a few that immediately came to mind.

I've enjoyed books by Dean Koontz. Some of them are just fun escapist reading. (Especially Watchers.) But, good God, Ticktock was a waste of time. Night Chills was awful too.

However, Bentley Little's The Store truly deserves burning. I'm a fan of horror, so a friend of mine suggested his writing. She asked me to borrow it, happy that she'd discovered a "great" author. I knew her taste and mine differed often, but I think her enjoyment of that horrendous novel made me lose respect for her.

magog
01-09-2003, 10:58 AM
For me, David Eddings, The Losers. Combination of annoying writing, annoying plot, annoying characterization, and (IMHO)annoying politics.

Kalashnikov
01-09-2003, 11:15 AM
The Anarchist Cookbook.

Not because I don't think people should read about how to make drugs and explosives and such (you should see my library - I have more books in my gun safe than guns) but because most of the contents is simply false. The author admits to having made up some of the recipies out of thin air. I don't want anyone trying these and getting hurt. There are plenty of other books on the subject that are at least somewhat more accurate, and which place more emphasis on understanding what you're doing and taking the appropriate safety precautions.

Alto
01-09-2003, 11:16 AM
When I was in graduate school (for English literature), I burned a book by Derrida with a friend. We ripped out the pages one by one and toasted each other with the flames. Then we threw the charred hulk of the binding out the window into the snow. Given the extreme respect I have for books, this was a really powerful moment for me. I felt like we'd sacrificed an animal.

Then I quit graduate school.

DrNick
01-09-2003, 11:49 AM
I wouldn't stop at half of The Wheel of Time stuff, I'd burn it all (I got to book 7 before I twigged it WAS NEVER GOING TO END). Burn all of Eddings' stuff after the first series...all Terry Brooks' stuff...in fact, any fantasy series with no end in sight could do with a torching.

Waverly and Ivanhoe. Tom Jones. Tristram Shandy. Was brevity a recent invention?

Gone With The Wind - ugh.

Sympathise with the Derrida burning - I gave my 'Of Grammatology' away after repeated lobbings across the room.

lout
01-09-2003, 12:12 PM
On the day we finished final exams in law school, I got together with some friends, got drunk, lit a big fire in the fireplace and physically mutilated all our textbooks before heaving them into the fire. Then we threw up.

greenphan
01-09-2003, 01:25 PM
Originally posted by NailBunny

Seriously, you know how other people make you read their poetry sometimes, and it's a whole page of just random gibberish but you feel like you should really be getting something out of it but you're totally not? Imagine HUNDREDS OF PAGES OF THAT, and you have Naked Lunch.

Yes, but where else are we going to read the story of the man who taught his asshole to talk?

I hate, I hate, I HATE anything by Emily Dickinson and while I wouldn't want to burn any of her books, I would enjoy taking a large knife to her collected works.

--greenphan

MacSpon
01-09-2003, 02:08 PM
So, um, I'm detecting a lot of anger here ...
:)

MaxTheVool
01-09-2003, 02:53 PM
Originally posted by lukaspriest
I'd burn Mein Kampf for what it advocates.

Funny coincidence... I'm on a Bay Area Jewish mailing list, and at the precise moment I was reading this post, an email popped up in my inbox entitled "Jews, beat those winter blues"

susan
01-09-2003, 07:17 PM
I don't hold with burning books (though I once burned a GRE study guide). I have thrown a copy of that compendium of sexist, homophobic misinformation, Everything you wanted to know about sex... but were afraid to ask, out a window.

Jello
01-09-2003, 10:55 PM
The House on Mango Street, by Sandra Cisneros.

Utterly terrible self-congratulatory drivel.

vivalostwages
01-09-2003, 11:02 PM
I'd never burn any book, but anything by V.C. Andrews or the ghost writer who took over after her death really doesn't need to take up space on anyone's shelf.

kali
01-09-2003, 11:17 PM
i tend to have dramatically negative reactions to books that others say "changed their lives" and then when I read them, they just seem like recycled philosophy or watered down spirituality. For example, I hated "The Celestine Prophecy" ... garbage.

FriarTed
01-10-2003, 12:23 AM
that was a favorite late night movie on TV when I was a kid & when I saw there was actually a novel (or was it a novelization?) a few years ago, I had to get it- sadly I can't find the video.

Btw, I was also glad to find a novel/ization of THE WICKER MAN!!!

Bubba Ray
01-10-2003, 02:33 AM
Personally I burned Ed Greenwood's 'Elminster, Making of a Mage' it scarred me so much that I never picked up another of his books but it was so bad that it justifies burning at least three more of his books without reading.

tracer
01-13-2003, 11:45 AM
I wrote:
I found the book Red Dragon to be a big disappointment. If I pick up a book titled Red Dragon, dog gone it, there ought to be a red dragon in it somewhere! Preferably a huge ancient red dragon with 88 hit points (1st Edition) that still has its full complement of 3 breath-weapon usages per day when he meets the hapless adventurers.
... to which Smeghead replied:
Geek.

:D
You're just jealous because my 17th-level ranger has +5 plate mail of etherealness, a +6 intelligent broadsword, and a girdle of titan strength. :p

slortar
01-13-2003, 12:41 PM
I once ran out of toilet paper in a public restroom and wound up having to wipe my ass on Edmund Spencers' The Faerie Queen. It was a Norton Anthology (with the really nice and comfy rice paper :) ). I spent far too much time deliberating upon who would receive the honors, too...

armedmonkey
01-13-2003, 01:02 PM
One day a few years back, I went to the library and checked out The Statanic Versus. I put it on my bookshelf, intending to read it later as I was in the middle of some science fiction book by Larry Niven, and went to work the next day.

When I got home, I found that my dog, Maya, had bypassed the easily accesible Niven novel, the first shelf books, the second shelf books, and pulled The Satanic Versus out of all the books on the third shelf. The teething labrador pup utterly destroyed it and I had to pay the library to have it replaced. I never got to read it at the time (because my dog destroyed it), but finally read it about two months ago.

I agree with Maya's critique.

armedmonkey
01-13-2003, 01:04 PM
Jeez, what's wrong with me? "The Satanic Verses"

there, see I can spell.

Cervaise
01-13-2003, 04:21 PM
<Buffy>

"Fire bad!"

</Buffy>

Lissla Lissar
01-14-2003, 10:29 PM
The Total Woman, by Marabel Morgan. Has anyone else read it? If no, then good. If yes, then I'm very, very sorry. It's Christian antifeminist backlash with the general message, "Lie down and let your husband walk all over you! Give up all your own opinions, lose your personality, and act like a twit and he'll love you more! And give you expensive stuff!" On the back cover, the author looks orange.

I still have my copy, but I am planning on burning it.

I almost threw a copy of Peter Singer's Should The Baby Live? out of a car window on the highway once, too. I refrained because it was a library book. Things that advocate killing babies because they have Down Syndrome make me ill.

Shana
01-15-2003, 12:23 AM
...and stuff like "Mein Kampf" and "The Turner Diaries" need to stick with us... to remind us of the madness in men's souls, and the need to keep an eye peeled for the loonies BEFORE they blow stuff up, instead of AFTER... [/B][/QUOTE]

Well put!

Shana
01-15-2003, 12:26 AM
Ooops, I was trying to quote Wang-ka there....guess I did it wrong...:smack:

ITR champion
01-15-2003, 01:00 AM
Since I get most of my reading from the library, buring and mutilation aren't really options. However, when I was reading Wizard's First Rule, big chunks of pages started falling out of the binding. This book was so bad that it wanted to self-destruct, and I can't say I blame it.

tracer
01-15-2003, 09:28 AM
At an SF/fantasy convention I attended in early 1983, an author was giving out free copies of the first book in his Warrior of Vengeance series (titled Sorcerer's Blood).

It was worth every penny I spent on it.

BiblioCat
01-15-2003, 12:24 PM
Originally posted by vivalostwages
I'd never burn any book, but anything by V.C. Andrews or the ghost writer who took over after her death really doesn't need to take up space on anyone's shelf. I wouldn't burn books either, but I figured this was all hypothetical.

I was going to say the collected works of Danielle Steele and VC Andrews.

Rune
01-17-2003, 07:46 AM
>I'd burn Mein Kampf for what it advocates.

Well, I bought Mein Kampf, and has it here on my bookshelf, for no other reason than it was illegal to own where I live (well it wasnít as it turned out, but it is in some other European countries). Havenít gotten around to reading it yet though, but I will someday. Here is a man who orchestrated the death of millions Ė I think itís pretty important to know what went so terrible wrong in that little mind of his. I also bought The Satanic Verses for much the same reason Ė but will probably never get around to reading that.

Never did throw out a book, but if I should some books by Piers Anthony comes readily to mind, or that awful book: Thomas Covenant, White Gold Wielder argh! White Gold Wielder my arse, that little miserable, self pitying bastard stole many hours of my precious youth that would have been better spend drinking hard liquor and smoking pot. Also the books of The Illuminatus Trilogy, which I have read back to back for some obscure reason, I hate them with a passion.

BiblioCat
01-17-2003, 09:00 AM
Originally posted by WinstonSmith
Never did throw out a book, .... I've never thrown away a book, either. I give them to Goodwill and the Salvation Army, though.
I love picking through their shelves for books. It's fun to find a good book there sometimes.

But they have WAY too many Harlequin paperbacks and Reader's Digest Condensed Books. Ugh.
More stuff that should hypothetically be burned.

Lady Ice
01-17-2003, 09:09 AM
I'm just as opposed to burning books as the rest of you, but if I had to....

Great Expectations by Charles Dickens.

Don't get me wrong, I love Dickens. I was overjoyed when the teacher started to hand out the books for the semester. Oh goody I thought, a Dickens book I haven't read yet.

It's the only assigned reading that I didn't finish in my entire life. God it was awful.

asterion
01-17-2003, 12:05 PM
Originally posted by dejahma
Yes Wild in the Streets was a book in the 60's. Every other word was the F word. Basic premise was that 16 year olds should get to vote. This was when voting age was 21 and draft age was 18 and in real life people were trying to get the voting age reduced to 18, "If I have to die for my country don't I at least get to vote on it?" No and you don't get to drink either, lol.

I think I may be the only person to ever read the book, lol. But I still remember it as one of the stupidist books I've ever read. Eventually everyone over 21 got sent to concentration camps. LOL, who would do all the work?

Oh, is that like Teenocracy[i]? I've never read the book, but I did read about it in the Curiosities section of [i]F&SF a year or two ago.

Cat Fight
01-17-2003, 12:33 PM
Has anyone mentioned the Chicken Soup for the Soul books? My lord! I caught a friend reading "...for the teenager's soul" in high school (when they didn't have the really specialized versions e.g. "...for the British lesbian albino's soul" no, wait, lesbians don't have souls, do they? And albinos, well, I'll have to check the WWJD site) and hit her in the face with it. Whenever I find one in someone's house I open it up and read all the last line's in a slow, tearful voice, one after another "...and that's when she realized Tommy had given her the best gift of all- the gift of friendship." "...and I knew right then that Mom wasn't coming home at all, but would always live in my heart." Mwaaaah!

Rucksinator
01-17-2003, 04:49 PM
What about just parts of books? Like the last page or so of Grisham's The Partner. Good book with a ridiculously stupid 'twist' ending. And based on the 1 Danielle Steele (?) book I read (I believe it was Silent Honor), her books would be a lot better if every other sentence were removed (ones such as "He knew from the first moment that he saw her that he loved her.")

shelbo
01-17-2003, 07:59 PM
The novelization of the movie, "Invasion of the Body Snatchers". I actually shocked a friend one night by throwing it into the fire. (Yes, we had been drinking.)

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