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View Full Version : Things that have been done to death in movies


Mr Jim
03-30-2003, 02:45 PM
..and should not be done anymore!

Falling down to get a laugh: why are movies still doing this?? It was mildly amusing the first 5000 times but let's try something else!

Others??

UrbanChic
03-30-2003, 02:53 PM
Enough with the Matrix rip-off scenes already!

Linty Fresh
03-30-2003, 03:41 PM
I'd say that the whole schtick where the serial killer, instead of just offing the target of his revenge, concocts a huge intricate plot requiring only slightly less brain power than coming up with the theory of relativity.

And of course, in these movies, the lone genius cop is the only one with nearly enough brain power to even figure out the steps the killer wants him to take, let alone solve the case.

It was amusing in Se7en. By the time The Bone Collector came out, it had gotten pretty old.

Doomtrain
03-30-2003, 04:31 PM
How about the "one person who knows the real story, but no one will believe him and so he has to do it himself" story?

rabbit
03-30-2003, 04:37 PM
car chases... please god above, make them stop with the car chases. How many times do I have to see another "climatic" car chase, that's just pointless, and cliched?

Linty Fresh
03-30-2003, 04:42 PM
The psycho, burnout cop/soldier/lawyer who's the only one crazy enough to get the assignment done. Screw due process, therapy and leaves of absence. He's the only chance we've got.

Linty Fresh
03-30-2003, 04:46 PM
OK, OK, we get it!! You're the VILLAIN. You're the guy who's going to end the world unless the psycho cop/soldier/lawyer loner thwarts your evil plan.

Now will you please stop killing hostages, assorted members of the cop/soldier/lawyer's family, and your own henchman just to prove to everybody how insanely evil you are? It's amazing you every got anything done in the first place!

Charlie Tan
03-30-2003, 04:59 PM
If the movie gears up to a big showdown at abandoned factory/construction site/warehouse, I fast forward. If I find out that the hero doesn't win by killing the bad guy, but that the bad guy makes a mistake and falls down and dies, due to his own actions I don't even wait for the credits.

Linty Fresh
03-30-2003, 05:03 PM
Through skill and incredible luck, the villain captures the hero. Does he shoot the hero? Noooooo. He ties the hero up, explains every detail of his evil plan and just ... leaves to check the laundry or something. Is it a psychological thing? Is the villain afraid of success? I don't think you can chalk this one up to plain insanity.

slice
03-30-2003, 05:03 PM
I nominate the following:

a) one of the villain's henchmen gets a conscience and at the last minute decides to help the good guys who would've otherwise been utterly screwed

b) a man and woman (from opposing backrounds, points of view or whatever) who absolutely hate each other go through a traumatic event and fall in love

Mr. Blue Sky
03-30-2003, 05:04 PM
Bad guys who have to explain their plan to the only person who can stop them.

Outrunning a fireball.

Air conditioning ducts big enough (and clean enough) for a full sized adult to crawl through.

Cars that hit the last parked car in a row and, instead of wrecking, flip over.

Linty Fresh
03-30-2003, 05:09 PM
Guys who hook up with prostitutes with hearts of gold and no drug problems, psychological problems or venereal diseases. This does not happen in real life.

h.sapiens
03-30-2003, 05:11 PM
Two words. Product placement.

Speaker for the Dead
03-30-2003, 05:27 PM
I think subtle product placement is a good thing. I just keep thinking about Repo Man.

Ranchoth
03-30-2003, 05:46 PM
The old "He tampered in god's domain" moral.

Lousy film-industry luddites. If you fear technology so much, go live in a cave. :mad:

ratty
03-30-2003, 06:13 PM
Where to even begin?

1) What I like to call The Lifetime Movie of the Week: any film featuring some ho-hum woman living through some traumatic experience involving a terminally ill child/abusive husband/stalker/car accident and after recovering her memory and getting "empowered", she "beats the odds" and saves her/her child's life OR kills the stalker/husband OR walks again.

2) Those I'm Too Sexy For This Job movies I keep running into in mainly the thriller/sci-fi/crime genre. Some supermodel-turned-cop/microbiologist is called in to catch the serial killer/wacko releasing genetically engineered super virus and after pulling completely unbelievable skills or knowledge out his/her ass, saves the human race/foreign embassy/small town while falling in love with the other supermodel-turned cop/microbiologist.

3) Scary & Disturbing- Brought to you by Pepsi Co.- any "horror" movie whose plot revolves around some pop culture premise and relies almost solely on flash shots of mildly disturbing images to "scare" the viewer.

Now for some intra-film cliches I despise:

Any plot with a "twist" that is visible to the legally blind from miles away on a foggy night. This usually involves revealing some previously suspected and obviously hinted-at genetic or sexual relationship between two characters. "It's his brother!" or "She was his mistress!".

Anyone in a movie who loses their memory and spends most of the film wandering around with a vaguely constipated look on their face and having pointless flashbacks.

Any character who is obviously the end result of teams of middle-aged upper-tax-bracket types polling teenagers to find out what is "cool".

The quirky best friend, the slob best friend, the slut best friend, the loser best friend, the best friend of whom to be jealous, but who is actually secretly jealous of the main character

The partner who is killed, causing the lead to swear vengeance.

The wise mentor who dispenses nothing but bumper sticker wisdom and usually must die so that the lead can find himself and/or swear vengeance.

M. Night Shyamalan.

Obscenely rich girl/boy secretly hates his/her life, falls in love with poor-but-spunky girl/boy, to the chagrin of parents, but learns important life lessons about social class structure.

Anyone who "comes of age".

The hero who, during the final fight scene (in one of those huge Hong Kong abandoned factories/warehouses which manufacture nothing but cool fight scenes) is getting his ass kicked until he is shot in the shoulder/remembers his dead mentor's words and then becomes Bruce Lee and demolishes the villain.

Oh, there are so, so many more, but this is all I can come up with for now.

look!ninjas
03-30-2003, 06:41 PM
If a woman coughs at the begin of a period film, she'll die of consumption by the end.

If a man sits down after some activity or rubs his left arm, he'll probably have a heart attack.

Baker
03-30-2003, 06:46 PM
For cliches I like http://minievil.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html

For nearly every maxim there I can name a movie that used it.

MetalDog
03-30-2003, 07:21 PM
In any war movie, when a soldier says, "Two more months and I'm out, man."

Dead man walking.

msmith537
03-30-2003, 08:12 PM
By the book veteren paired with loose cannon rookie.

Al Pachino making a 5 minute screaming tirade at the end of his movies.

Vampires that shop at Armani and Diesel and hang out in groovy after-hour raves.

Robots that want to be human instead of wanting to be better robots.

Dead people who don't realize they're dead.

A single woman who is only compatible with a drifter/alien/robot/mental patient being pursued by the authorities.

Evil corporations that commit atrocities like demolishing dilapadated neighborhoods (and thus displacing poverty-stricken tenents who are too irrational to accept a settlement) to put in new housing developments and malls.

ftg
03-31-2003, 03:06 PM
msmith537: the rookie is by the book, the veteran is the loose cannon.

Bad guys do that coin flipping along the back of their fingers thing. (Saw "Road to Perdition" last Sat.)

bup
03-31-2003, 03:22 PM
In an audience (in the movie) - one person hesitantly claps, then someone else, then there are several solitary claps from various places in the crowd until it builds to thunderous applause and a standing ovation.

Dryga_Yes
03-31-2003, 03:31 PM
After the final showdown, when the Good Guy has defeated the Bad Guy and holds a gun to the Bad Guy's head, who's begging for his life... and the Good Guy shows mercy and lets the Bad Guy go. Then the Bad Guy walks away, but sneakily tries to attack the Good Guy from behind with a knife he'd hidden in his boot! Oh no! So, the Good Guy has to shoot him in self-defence, and all moral dilemmas are beautifully dodged. I'd like to see the Good Guy either letting the guy live or shooting him in cold blood, and then living with the consequences of his choice.

Buck The Diver
03-31-2003, 03:39 PM
If I sees anudder oversized-silhouetted-slowly-spinning-fan-inna-warehouse-wall shot, somebody's gonna get hoit.

Bearflag70
03-31-2003, 03:42 PM
Originally posted by bup
In an audience (in the movie) - one person hesitantly claps, then someone else, then there are several solitary claps from various places in the crowd until it builds to thunderous applause and a standing ovation.

I hate it when people clap after movies in the theater.

HELLOOO! THE ACTORS CAN'T HEEEAAR YOOOUUU!

Labdad
03-31-2003, 03:53 PM
How about the thief who's going to go straight and retire to pursue his/her dream of running a jazz club/sailing the Carribean/owning a baseball team, etc., but has to pull off the ONE LAST BIG SCORE to do it??? Jeez, that one's as old as the whore with the heart of gold!

ChalkPit
03-31-2003, 04:01 PM
The good guys sitting in their car, watching the villain enter/leave his house.
The villain looks all around him to check he's not being watched, and TOTALLY FAILS to see the guys sitting in the car across the road, watching him.

Geez that really annoys me.

dwc1970
03-31-2003, 04:02 PM
Virtually all parking garage scenes involve a car or foot chase and a gunfight. The parking garage seems like the perfect place for moviemakers to make this kind of scene. There's lots of concrete for bullets to ricochet off of, lots of car windows to shatter, lots of metal to pierce holes in, and lots of places for everyone to hide from each other. There are lots of parked cars to crash into, and since most cars have fuel in them-- hey, let's have some 'splosions while we're at it! Plus, it's usually dark, and if they get to the top level someone can either jump off or fall off of there or drive his car off the top ledge. If the garage has one of those wooden or plastic arms that gate off access to the garage someone will usually drive right through it.

If a guy in a movie is watching TV and holding a bat, club or some other instrument that could easily smash a TV screen, something he sees on the TV will piss him off and he'll smash the TV screen with said instrument.

The Devil's Grandmother
03-31-2003, 04:02 PM
Originally posted by ratty
2) Those I'm Too Sexy For This Job movies I keep running into in mainly the thriller/sci-fi/crime genre. Some supermodel-turned-cop/microbiologist is called in to catch the serial killer/wacko releasing genetically engineered super virus and after pulling completely unbelievable skills or knowledge out his/her ass, saves the human race/foreign embassy/small town while falling in love with the other supermodel-turned cop/microbiologist.
Closely related, normal-looking woman in glasses and a lab coat become a hottie in spike heels with her hair down/glasses removed.

Elvis
03-31-2003, 04:10 PM
Just yesterday I was channel surfing and stopped briefly on some piece of crap starring Ashley Judd. She was talking to Morgan Freeman in a bar and said, literally "This is a conspiracy, and it goes way higher than anyone knows. Charlie, I need you sober!"

Folks, they're not even trying anymore. They're taking the old scripts, crossing out the characters' names, and tripling the budget.

RikWriter
03-31-2003, 04:26 PM
Any action movie/thriller/horror movie where the good guys are being hunted by multiple armed bad guys, and when they disable one of them they either don't take his gun or somehow conveniently drop it before getting a chance to use it.

Ol'Gaffer
03-31-2003, 04:41 PM
Originally posted by bup
In an audience (in the movie) - one person hesitantly claps, then someone else, then there are several solitary claps from various places in the crowd until it builds to thunderous applause and a standing ovation.

This happened to me IRL when I saw Rocky IV. I'm not kidding. The worst part..? I had gone to the movies with a friend and he was the one who started the applause.


I wanted to die.



My pet peeve is the secondary character whose only purpose is for comic relief. Double whammy if the character is black or gay (or black and gay) and that becomes a source of humor.

Greg Charles
03-31-2003, 04:43 PM
Originally posted by rabbit
car chases... please god above, make them stop with the car chases. How many times do I have to see another "climatic" car chase, that's just pointless, and cliched?

"Ah, Francesca Fiore. You know I don't like American movies. Always it is the car chase, and the guy get the girl ..."
-- David Foley as Bruno Ponce Jones from "The Kids in the Hall".

blowero
03-31-2003, 04:57 PM
Originally posted by Dryga_Yes
After the final showdown, when the Good Guy has defeated the Bad Guy and holds a gun to the Bad Guy's head, who's begging for his life... and the Good Guy shows mercy and lets the Bad Guy go. Then the Bad Guy walks away, but sneakily tries to attack the Good Guy from behind with a knife he'd hidden in his boot! Oh no! So, the Good Guy has to shoot him in self-defence, and all moral dilemmas are beautifully dodged. I'd like to see the Good Guy either letting the guy live or shooting him in cold blood, and then living with the consequences of his choice.
They did the "shoot him in cold blood" thing in one of those Lethal Weapon sequels. It wasn't that great.

How about nerdy white people doing cool "black" stuff? Could we stop with that already?

Oh, and aliens whose technology is thousands of years ahead of ours, yet their most effective weapon is some lame little laser-beam thing that's barely more destructive than a pistol.

ioioio
03-31-2003, 05:04 PM
The good guys will disable the timer bomb exactly 1 second before detonation.

The bad guy appears to be dead, but suddenly he/she rises up and attacks the good guy one more time.

Miller
03-31-2003, 05:25 PM
Originally posted by Bearflag70
I hate it when people clap after movies in the theater.

HELLOOO! THE ACTORS CAN'T HEEEAAR YOOOUUU!

I clap at the ends of movies. Well, good ones, anyway. Applauding in movie theaters isn't about communicating with the people on the screen, it's about communicating with the other people in the theater. It's a public statement of approval for the shared experience of watching a good movie.

Anyway, I'm personally sick of movie trailers that cut to an explosion right before someone says a swear word. Like, "I'm getting too old for this sh-" and they cut to building blowing up. Occasionally, they'll mix it up with someone saying, "I'm going to kick your a-" and they cut to a car flipping over in a dramatic and physically unlikely fashion.

Mr. Wrong
03-31-2003, 05:25 PM
Posted by bup:
In an audience (in the movie) - one person hesitantly claps, then someone else, then there are several solitary claps from various places in the crowd until it builds to thunderous applause and a standing ovation.

Uh, guys, I think he's talking about a crowd onscreen, as opposed to the audience in the theatre. This cliche was very funnily parodied in Not Another Teen Movie. The guy was always starting a slow clap that's supposed to turn into a roaring ovation at the wrong time.

BrotherCadfael
03-31-2003, 05:36 PM
The hero is trying to take some action to thwart the monster/earthquake/volcano/whatever, and the mayor (or whoever) squlches the efforts because it will be bad for tourism/business/etc.

Jaws did it quite well, but you see it in just about any monster/disaster/whatever movie ever made. In Dante's Peak the mayor believed the hero (of course she had the hots for him anyway), but the chairman of the select board didn't want to scare off investors in the upcoming...oh why bother.

YellowTail
03-31-2003, 06:31 PM
Young hipsters are going to shake up the stuffy establishment and show them how to party!!! Puh-leeez.

Doomtrain
03-31-2003, 06:55 PM
Any movie where the government is secretly evil and scarily able to do cool stuff. We don't trust them to buy toilet seats at reasonable prices, yet we think they could pull off a huge, worldwide conspiracy involving thousands of people?

Any movie where the Bad Guy and the Good Guy drop their arsenals to settle it "man to man."

Any movie where simple precautions would've solved the huge catastrophe (i.e. Jaws, yes business might be bad, but maybe a few lifeguards or boats on Bigass Shark Patrol?)

Don Draper
03-31-2003, 07:32 PM
My top ten things that should be banned from all future movies:

10. Romantic moments accompanied by the swelling sound of very familiar Motown hit songs.

9. Computer geeks who look like supermodels.

8. Ultrahip bank robbers with five o'clock shadows in black leather trenchcoats who aim/shoot their guns sideways (totally WRONG from what my gun-nut friend tells me!) to the sound of technomusic.

7. Estranged/entangled couples yelling at each other while standing in the middle of a downpour.

6. 60-something leading men in action movies romantically paired off with early 20-something leading "ladies."

5. Hell, 60-something leading men in action movies.

4. Smart-alec kids who know all the answers and can solve all the problems of the adult characters with their naive, childish "wisdom."

3. Very large explosions/disasters in which all the major characters manage to walk away from it with scorch marks and torn clothes, but not so much as a papercut.

2. any Star Trek crew.

1. Madonna, involved with a movie in any way, shape or form.

shep proudfoot
03-31-2003, 08:14 PM
Sex is always done to death. No matter what the movie is, comedy, drama, science fiction, tragedy, most all films PG and up there is always sexual activity. Hell, even Forrest Gump gets laid.

SP

msmith537
03-31-2003, 08:34 PM
Racial "fish out of water" comedy - There hasn't been a good comedy about a black man riling up all the stiff upper-class white people since Eddie Murphy did Beverley Hills Cop and Trading Places.

presidebt
03-31-2003, 08:40 PM
Originally posted by shep proudfoot
Hell, even Forrest Gump gets laid.

SP

No, no, no...that was a box of chocolates ....;)

If I hear one more Australian-accented actor portray a British person I shall scream. That goes double for tarts from Texas portraying British persons.

InTransit
03-31-2003, 08:49 PM
* The totally pointless female love interest. Typically played by the "It" girl of the month. Not all stories need a love interest.

* All those Matrix-like bullet wave or 360-degree camera rotation shots.

* Inexplicably happy endings or "resolutions" (e.g., the last third of Castaway or "Minority Report"). It's OK not to have neat ending once in a while.

* White people emulating anyone of color. Especially if the white people are say, older than 35 years old.

* People getting hit in the groin. I just don't see the appeal of this (and most slap-stick comedy) I guess.

Doomtrain
03-31-2003, 09:12 PM
Bad Southern Accents. I swear to gawd!

ratty
03-31-2003, 09:20 PM
Thought of a few more:

The ubiquitous fat kid whose sole contribution to the film is belching/farting/vomiting and/or getting hit in the balls with something.

The hip teens from different cultures/socio-economic backgrounds/parts of town/fashion genres who are continually warring until they are faced with a crisis/locked in a building and then magically discover that they're actually not so different from each other after all, and if they just work together they can bring down the establishment/save the dance/get out of the building.

Any film that ends with someone shouting "Let's party!" and fades out over a scene of people dancing in the streets while crappy 80's "rock" plays in the background.

Any female character in a thriller/horror film who gets into a shower. It began with Psycho, and now the laws of Hollywood decree that every soon-to-die-horribly woman must meet her fate with freshly lathered boobies.

The rag-tag group of misfits who through hard work, determination, and the help of their unatheltic but secretly very cool/failed professional coach/teacher/camp counselor once again "beat the odds" and save the school/camp/rec center by pulling hilarious stunts on those snotty rich kids/uptight stuffed shirts.

Teenage girls/boys who lead totally normal lives until one day they discover a portal into another dimension/magic jewel and become pop stars/super-heroes/war-mongering beast-masters. (You anime fans know exactly what I'm talking about.)

Bride/husband leaves husband/bride at altar, goes on journey of self-discovery/wacky misadventure in which they discover they are actually meant to be with bride/husband/long-overlooked best friend/some guy/girl they just met.

Vampire/ghost/werewolf/supernatural creature of your choice is leading a tormented existence in which they feel isolated from all humanity/their own kind and long to be human/dead/straight/gay.

"Hilarious" send-up of black/white/Hispanic/Asian/culture of your choice sterotypes in which we all learn we're not so different after all/it's okay to be a racist as long as you're witty.

Any film whose script was obviously written on a "Mad Libs" basis, in which all dialogue and action is left intact, and only names/genders/criminal occupations/sites of explosions change.

butter pie
03-31-2003, 10:28 PM
Originally posted by Art Vandelay, Architect

9. Computer geeks who look like supermodels.

What's wrong with that? :p

Lemur866
03-31-2003, 11:00 PM
1. The Magical African-American Friend. The MAAF is a black person whose sole reason for being is to help, advise, counsel, loosen-up and funk-ify their pathetic white friend. Frequently the MAAF will have actual magic/psychic powers, but always they will have a soulful wisdom that an inauthentic white person cannot hope to match. Why the MAAF spends their time helping out loser white buddy instead of hanging out with other cool black people is a mystery. Frequently the MAAF will be killed just before the climax, giving the white friend a few last words of wisdom that they can build the rest of their lives around. The purpose of the MAAF is to symbolically forgive white writers, directors and producers for the crimes white people have commited against black people.

2. The good guy has been framed, and the cops have closed off the airport. There is no way to get out of town, so the good guy has to have a fight to the death with the corrupt sherrif/real estate developer. In movie reality, there are no roads leading out of town, no phones, no neighboring towns with uncorrupt police forces, no newspapers. It is impossible to simply get out of your car and walk a few miles across country to another town, and it is equally impossible to just hole up in a hotel room for a week or two until the whole thing blows over.

3. Good guy fights bad guy, decides to let him live. Bad guy attacks one last time, and slips and falls from a great height. Nope, we can't actually slaughter our enemies in cold blood, but we must have revenge anyway. So our enemies must be made to commit suicide. Very convenient.

4. The idiot movie. This is a movie where the movie would be over in 5 minutes if only all the characters in the movie weren't idiots. If the characters took a minute to talk to each other honestly and think things through for a minute there would be no movie. "By the way, my brother is in town so I can't make it to dinner tonight." "OK, see you tomorrow then." "Bye, love you!" Movie over. No, instead I'll lie about it, then force my brother to pretend he's gay, then break into his girlfriend's apartment to switch her diary for a fake diary, then lock the concierge in the broom closet, then hire a hooker to pretend she's pregnant....

5. If we went by movies, most murderers aren't junkies, hoodlums, gang members, or disturbed loners. No, your typical murderer is a real estate developer, businessman, scientist, priest, or politician. You cannot trust those scientists, who would kill a bus full of nuns just to prevent their precious theories from being disproved. Damn scientists.

stuyguy
03-31-2003, 11:43 PM
I can't believe no one has posted this CLASSIC overdone gimmick.

Good Guy and Bad Guy have done battle during closing minutes of the movie. Bad Guy has the upper hand. Good Guy is pinned and defenseless. Bad Guy is aiming gun at Good Guy. They have "the talk," where we learn Bad Guy's motivation or confession or some other such claptrap. Camera zooms to Bad Guy's smarmily grinning face; gun is out of camera frame. Bad Guy says something like "S'long Good Guy. We could have been best friends if you weren't so... good." BLAM! BLAM!

Blood trickles from BAD GUY'S (!) nostril as he collapses. Oh my God! Bad Guy didn't shoot Good Guy -- Bad Guy's GIRLFRIEND, who had been locked in the trunk of the car but who escaped just in time to overhear "the talk," shot Bad Guy!

SPOOFE
03-31-2003, 11:45 PM
Saying something witty immediately before you're about to kill someone, or just after you've killed them (or dealt the killing blow).

WORST cliche EVER, and has ruined many a good Mindless Action Movie.

Sublight
03-31-2003, 11:45 PM
In addition to the MAAF, there is also the MGF, or Magical Gay Friend, who serves the same purpose, devoting all his time to whipping the leading man/woman into shape and dispensing kind-hearted words of wisdom. All evidence of the MGF being G will be based on effeminate speaking/walking styles, better than average knowledge of makeup/fashion/dance music, and an endless string of innuendo and double-entendres, as the MGF will never be shown involved in an actual homosexual relationship.

Any obviously deliberate shots of objects that have no immediate connection with what's happening on-screen. It's so obvious that it's going to play a major role later on in the film that I have to stop myself from shouting "PLOT POINT!!" when watching with my wife.

Crowbar of Irony +3
04-01-2003, 12:14 AM
Typical Dog Movies - The dog, regardless what breed it is, is smarter and wiser beyond all canine belief. The dog MUST grow up with an abusive and possessive owner, and optionally, the dog has to be vital to the survival of the owner. Dog escapes, runs into a troubled youth. The Troubled Youth must either come from a broken family, be bullied at school, is a loser, has no friends or any combinations of the above.

The movie will spend half an hour on how the Troubled Youth and the Genuis Dog enjoy their time together and eventually, either An Evil Greedy Materalistic Businessman or the Abusive Owner of the Dog turns up to claim the dog. There will be much crying, sobbing and snickering (on the villians' part) as the Troubled Youth and Dog are parted. Finally, there is much rejoicing (or supposed to be) when the Troubled Youth was gloated into action, somehow winning back the Dog and beats away the Bad Guys Who Would Have Claimed the Dog.

MetalDog
04-01-2003, 12:53 AM
Villains with upper class English accents.
Because having good diction makes you evil, clearly ...

Diceman
04-01-2003, 06:37 AM
There could be a whole other thread about that: How the bad guy is often much smarter than the hero.

gex gex
04-01-2003, 07:07 AM
originally posted by Ol'Gaffer
My pet peeve is the secondary character whose only purpose is for comic relief. Double whammy if the character is black or gay (or black and gay) and that becomes a source of humor.
Oh, come on... it was cool in Chasing Amy!

smiling bandit
04-01-2003, 08:08 AM
* White people emulating anyone of color. Especially if the white people are say, older than 35 years old.

Didn't the new Steve Martin Flick mock this?

c_goat
04-01-2003, 09:08 AM
1) Young girl becomes rich princess, usually after finding out they have a rich relative.

2) Group of 6 or more people set out to do something (save the world, isolated experiment in the ocean), less than half will return alive, if not just 1.

3) This is more of a peeve of mine, but I see too much of police shooting at fleeing unarmed suspects, destroying property and putting innocent bystanders in danger (if not just shooting them). The worst I've seen was Kiss of the Dragon, the cops killed people left and right and nobody even questioned it. Or Money Talks, when the cops find Chris Tucker in the Diner and just open fire.

MLS
04-01-2003, 10:12 AM
3) This is more of a peeve of mine, but I see too much of police shooting at fleeing unarmed suspects, destroying property and putting innocent bystanders in danger (if not just shooting them).

Yeah, I love Godfather I and II, but it really bothered me that after the guy shot Hyman Roth in the airport, the shooter goes running through the crowd, and the police shoot INTO THE CROWD and hit ONLY the bad guy. I can't imagine (a) that real cops would do that and (b) if they did, that they would be able to pick out one person running through a crowd like that. Of course it was also dumb that Michael sent one of the major players and not some expendable low-level one, but that's a separate issue.

msmith537
04-01-2003, 11:11 AM
Originally posted by presidebt
If I hear one more Australian-accented actor portray a British person I shall scream. That goes double for tarts from Texas portraying British persons. [/B]

How about "Brittish" as your all-purpose foreign accent? Like the Russians in Enemy at the Gates.



In movie-land, it's always better to be an unemployed drifter with anger management issues than a hardworking, successful guy with a job.

MSU 1978
04-01-2003, 11:12 AM
1- Characters run away from imminent explosion toward the camera, dive to ground right in front of camera just before the flames pass harmlessly over their bodies- all in slow motion

2- Psycho bad guy has incredible intelligence and skill, can break out of prison and find his way to the cop that put him away 20 years ago, all the while picking locks and hot wiring cars.

3- Psycho bad guy can be hit by several bullets and be on the ground motionless. But like John Cameron Swayze's Timex, he takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

4- Hero gets shot at by a dozen trained assassins, but their shots magically miss or cause flesh wounds.

5- Teenage girl bares her breasts and gets dismembered by psycho killer, virtuous girl has narrow escape.

6- Car chase takes out streetside vegetable stand, also causes pedestrian to fling grocery sack (which MUST contain a loaf of French bread) high in the air.

7- Thoughtful terrorists put LED timers on their bombs which cannot be defused before reading 0:01.

8- Brainy kid hacks his way into secret computer system, guessing the password (which takes up the whole screen) on the first try. The computer must beep and boop at every character displayed.

9- Of course the hooker has a heart of gold.

10- When alone at home with serial killer, lights remain out at all times.

ianzin
04-01-2003, 11:23 AM
Man gets in car, is about to drive off. Someone who has been hiding by lying low in the back now sits upright and announces his presence, maybe also cocking a gun in the process.

It is strictly impossible for anyone to do this. You can not get in your own car and not know there's someone lying down just behind the driver's seat. I'm know movies aren't necessarily about realism, but they aren't necessarily about stupid cliches either. There are lots of ways for characters to surprise each other - why invoke this 'sitting up in the back of the car' crap every time?

- - -

Here's another. Good guy is trying to sneak around someplace unnoticed. He hears some guards coming his way. He skips a few steps back, presses up flat against some wall panel or alcove, and the guards walk by or walk past totally oblivious to his presence. It's just another instance of lazy thinking, lazy writing and lazy direction. There never have been, and never will be, guards or sentries who are so robotic, regimented and unawares that they could be outwitted so easily - with no peripheral vision, no hearing, and no sense of actually checking for the good guy's presence (even if they're 'on alert' and everyone is supposedly hunting for the intruder). It makes for pretty dull viewing, too. There is no sense of action without suspense. How can there be suspense about how the good guy might get past the guards if all it takes is a few seconds lying flat against a wall and keeping still? They never covered this in 'guard' school? Military training never covers this eventuality?

Nangleator
04-01-2003, 11:34 AM
Cars blowing up after an accident. (Ever read about this actually happening in the newspaper?) In particular, the whole "She's gonna blow!" thing with the running and the diving just in time. Bleh.

Camera pulls back to reveal what you just saw was in the mirror! (Yeah. You fooled us, Mr. Director. So what?)

Two people get locked in an embrace with gun between them. Gun goes off. (We don't give a ratfuck over who gets shot, Mr. Director, even if we liked the movie up to that point. This was old before color film.)

A cat walks through the living room, and Mr. Sound Editor puts a big, fat meow sound, even though we can clearly see the cat's mouth is closed. (We didn't think the cat walked through the set by accident, okay?)

Establishing shot in desert, and Mr. Sound Editor uses that same goddamned hawk cry AGAIN. (I know most people don't even notice it, but it's really starting to bug me.)

Goodguy and badguy have a fight. One of them (I'm looking at you, goodguy,) picks the other up off the ground in order to hit him again. (Aren't you tired? It must be hard to lift him up like that!)

Epimetheus
04-01-2003, 12:21 PM
Person runs toward the front of the car, jumps up, slides across the hood and falls off the other side and lands on his/her backside.

So overdone anymore.

Ethilrist
04-01-2003, 12:24 PM
That whole monomyth thing is so passe. I mean, really; it's like all the stories ever told are really just this one story, told slightly differently over and over and over again.

NutMagnet
04-01-2003, 01:27 PM
The one that really bugs me is the scene where the hero/single mother/single father going through a rough time has a heart to heart with their 5 year old kid who:
a) Carries on an adult-level conversation;
b) Expound some words of wisdom normally issued from the mouth of someone with actual life experience.

Has anyone in Hollywood ever talked with a five year old?

What's wrong, mom?

I'm worried about us. I'm really worried about you. Now that daddy's gone I ...

Melissa threw up in class today.

... thought you'd want to talk about it. I know you must ...

She stepped in it and then Eddie started laughing at her, and Elena said some got on her but it didn't, and Mrs. Prussy said we shouldn't do that, so we had to sit in the hall while they cleaned it up, and Melissa was crying, and her mom had to come and get her, and we couldn't watch the movie 'cause it was too late and ...

I know you must miss him and I wondered if you wanted to ...

Can we get a puppy?

Aw crap G'night hon'

G'night mom.

Bryan Ekers
04-01-2003, 01:56 PM
Originally posted by NutMagnet
What's wrong, mom?...G'night mom.

I've had GD conversations almost exactly like that.


Cliché: the anti-hero in a heist/crime movie could pull off the big sting/robbery/deal but his insane/overly talkative/bitchy girlfriend blows the deal out of pure stupidity or spite.

j.c.
04-01-2003, 02:07 PM
People kissing - god, it's in so many movies. And funny dialogue. Enough already! Why do people keep using this stuff?

JWWells
04-01-2003, 02:27 PM
____
"Son, I don't know what you and your sissy scientist/writer/actor friends are doin', and I don't give a damn. I raised you to be a coal miner, boy, and you're goin' to go down there and do yer family proud. I'm a miner, yer granddaddy was a miner, your great-greatgrandad was a miner, and you're goin' be a miner. So SHUT your YAP, y' HEAR?!"

(Mother takes son aside as father is overcome with coughing.)

"I'm sorry... yer Pa loves you... it's jest his way, that's all."

...

That one was old when Monty Python spoofed it, and it was painful in _October Sky_.
___

When you've found out that your husband is cheating on you, the most appropriate thing to say, apparently, is "So THAT'S what this is all about!"

Sheriffs are all either evil or doomed to die.

Serial killers are excellent archivists. They keep newspaper clippings, photographs, marked maps...

All movie lasers move slower than light. All movie spaceships are capable of going faster than light. Therefore, laser-overrunning accidents must be very common.

All good guy aliens have to be humanoid. Bad guy aliens have to be humanoid, robotic, or insectoid, with the occasional slug thrown in for good measure. So, if intelligent insects ever land on this planet, they're in for a nasty surprise as a movie-educated public brings out the Raid.

PatrickM
04-01-2003, 02:44 PM
My two cents:

A. The computer hacking scene, where the hero and/or sidekick takes 2 minutes to hack into a super secret heavily encripted computer, and then finds the needed information and reads it off the computer screen as it flashes by at a dizzying pace.

B. The guy and girl who start out by hating each others guts, who then get into a scene where they're screaming at each other, which scene ends with them throwing themselves into each others' arms and kissing passionately. Yeah, right.

MonkeyMensch
04-01-2003, 04:54 PM
Originally posted by rabbit
car chases... please god above, make them stop with the car chases. How many times do I have to see another "climatic" car chase, that's just pointless, and cliched?

I'm with ya on this. Although I would lean more towards the Gratuitous Explosions as a more pernicious influence. Of course my favorite G.E. was in The Rock where a cable car, of all things, exploded. Go figure.

In a short defense of car chases, The Bourne Identity had a good one. Innocent drivers tended to get out of the way or slow down and the thud of cars colliding was that unmistakeable sound we've all heard. And, thank God, NO EXPLOSIONS.

msmith537
04-01-2003, 05:01 PM
Bullet Time!!!

:mad:................................ID
____.......................................ID:eek:
/...........................................................ID

Khadro
04-01-2003, 07:24 PM
How about the GoodGuy v BadGuy final gunfight, and the two roll together on the ground, each puts the gun to the others temple, pulls the trigger:

*click*

Both guns, that have fired several million bullets over the last 10 minutes, are empty at exactly the same time.

This then leads to the GoodGuy and BadGuy rolling away from each other, crouching behind something (like a plywood table!) for cover, and insulting his nemesis while desperately trying to reload.

GoodGuy will then be down to just one usable bullet, but there will be a whole pile of unusable ones in his pocket, perhaps for good measure. BadGuy will have a freshly ironed clip of shiny new bullets, not realizing that the bullets in GoodGuy's gun are magnetic, and will hit, with just one shot (which is all he has left) the chain holding something heavy up above the head of BadGuy.

gris gris
04-01-2003, 07:28 PM
The hero is racking his brain trying to solve some complex riddle or mystery, and then the wife or child or sidekick or whatever makes some statement about something unrelated to the enigma our hero is pondering, and the hero says"what did you just say?"
then the wife says"I said we need a new lawnmower." and he goes "No before that" the wife then repeats the statement before that, and the hero solves the puzzle because of something his wife said. I swear ive seen that scenario played out in like 4 movies,

gris gris
04-01-2003, 07:53 PM
Heres a site about sound effects done to death.

sound cliches (http://www.filmsound.org/cliche/)

gris gris
04-01-2003, 08:04 PM
Wow after looking at that site I found its part of a larger site called
Movie cliches (http://www.moviecliches.com/)

msmith537
04-01-2003, 10:02 PM
The "rainman" syndrome. Basically a character who suffers from a mental disability and is otherwise unable to function in society will be able to solve a complex math problem...usually at a critical point in the movie.

McJohn
04-01-2003, 10:18 PM
I hate that freakin' hawk cry too. What's wrong wit' usin' the cry of a crested titmouse, if I ain't bein' too inquisitive?

j_kat_251
04-01-2003, 10:31 PM
The guy and girl who start out by hating each others guts, who then get into a scene where they're screaming at each other, which scene ends with them throwing themselves into each others' arms and kissing passionately. Yeah, right.

This has actually happened to me, but it's a little thing called sexual tension that I guess I wouldn't expect Captain Dweebo of the Nerd Brigade to mentally be able to deal with. *asthmatic breathing* "Ehh, ehh, people don't do that".

Peter Doubt
04-01-2003, 11:49 PM
Large chunks of spinning ice on a collision course with the Earth.

Ranchoth
04-02-2003, 02:00 AM
Originally posted by j_kat_251
This has actually happened to me, but it's a little thing called sexual tension that I guess I wouldn't expect Captain Dweebo of the Nerd Brigade to mentally be able to deal with. *asthmatic breathing* "Ehh, ehh, people don't do that".

:rolleyes: That's nice.

And, as I recall, the question wasn't weather or not events and circumstances such as that Actually Happened in Life, but was what events and circumstances Have Been Chronically Overused in Movies.

For instance, all Alien Technology has been Organic-Based for the last decade or so, everything from alien clothing (If they even wear anything) to weapons and spacecraft. I blame Giger. I can't remember the last time I saw a bolt or a lever on a movie spaceship, dagnabit.


Ranchoth
("Nerd PRIDE, Geek-brothers!")

Sock Munkey
04-02-2003, 05:57 AM
Originally posted by Lemur866
3. Good guy fights bad guy, decides to let him live. Bad guy attacks one last time, and slips and falls from a great height. Nope, we can't actually slaughter our enemies in cold blood, but we must have revenge anyway. So our enemies must be made to commit suicide. Very convenient.

One of the best things about Darkman was that it looked like this was exactly what was going to happen when Westlake held the villan dangling by his foot over the side of the building and after got done listening to the bad guy go on about how Westlake was too mcuh of a good person to let him fall he just drops him.

BMalion
04-02-2003, 09:27 AM
Originally posted by Art Vandelay, Architect
My top ten things that should be banned from all future movies:8. ...who aim/shoot their guns sideways (totally WRONG from what my gun-nut friend tells me!) to the sound of technomusic.


That's SOOO true! I took my 13 year old stepson shooting for the first time and he just had to try this. I said "go ahead" and he let loose with a full clip and hit nothing! and the target was only 15 feet away. Man were we chuckling.

Scumpup
04-02-2003, 11:36 AM
Small arms that cause people who are shot with them to be picked up and thrown by the impact of the slug. "last Man Standing" had some especially appalling examples of this. Basic physics tells us that if the weapon was that powerful, the shooter as well as the shootee would be thrown off his feet.

Simbelmyne
04-02-2003, 11:44 AM
The noble end. Joe is wounded, and helping him walk is slowing down the party. He begs to be left behind with a machine gun and a hand grenade. The hero honors his request, clutches his shoulder, and they share a manly moment, just on the verge of a tear. Couldn't you just see Matt Daimon and Ben Affleck...aw shoot, now I'm all cryin' and stuff...

ianzin
04-02-2003, 11:59 AM
Originally posted by BMalion
That's SOOO true! I took my 13 year old stepson shooting for the first time and he just had to try this. I said "go ahead" and he let loose with a full clip and hit nothing! and the target was only 15 feet away. Man were we chuckling.
Sorry for the mild hijack, but can someone explain why the sideways grip doesn't work as well as the normal grip? I'm a complete gun ignoramus. I live in England so, like most here, I've never even seen a real gun let alone tried one. It seems just from looking that the side on gripwould work just as well as 'normal'. Educate me!

Vlad Dracul
04-02-2003, 12:09 PM
Art Vandelay and BMalion:

I saw an article from some California paper that the "sideways" shooting style is becoming "old hat" with the gang crowd, because it's too popular in the movies now. Allegedly, the new "cool" style is to hold your gun completely upside-down.

Too bad we can't make it cool to point it at their own heads and pull the trigger! :)

Okay, back on the Overdone Movie Stuff topic:

Fight scenes where the "upper hand" goes back and forth, back and forth, from Good Guy to Bad Guy, as they beat each other beyond all human endurance.... often with heavy and/or sharp objects... sometimes when one has a serious wound.

That annoying rattle that movie weapons make whenever they are moved quickly. There are no loose, rattle-y bits on guns!

The whole "human is raised by animals, so he has the powers of the animal" bit.

The closely-related "human is raised by animals, so he's smarter, wiser, more morally-developed than the rest of us" bit.

Double-barrel shotguns that make the pump-action "chunk-chunk" noise when brought into action.

The girl who stabs the psycho and leaves her knife in his chest, so he can pull it out and use it against her.

Characters who work the action on their weapons repeatedly, in order to emphasize what they're saying. In reality, this practice simply throws perfectly good ammunition on the floor!

People who twitch once, then instantly drop dead when stabbed.

Since all psychics in movies are real, the Tarot actually works, and the tribal shaman really can see the future in a pile of chicken bones, you'd think people would begin to listen to them after decades of consistently correct prediction.... but nobody does.

In movies, ALL fringe belief systems are valid (voodoo works, Native American magic works, etc.), but the immensely more popular Judeo-Christian beliefs are nearly always shown to be useless.

The "ugly girl is just an incredibly beautiful girl with glasses and a bad hairstyle" bit.

The nerd who becomes heroic and/or popular, and suddenly doesn't need his glasses anymore.

The person (usually a woman) who puts on glasses simply to show that she's involved in serious mental work at the moment.

Vlad Dracul
04-02-2003, 12:20 PM
Ianzin,

When the gun is sideways, you can't see the sights properly, as they are on top. You have to put your arm in an awkward position to sight.

Your wrist isn't as strong in that position, so it's harder to control the gun's kick. Also, that position makes the gun kick sideways, which makes it more likely that the shot will miss a tall, narrow target (like a human).

With semi-automatic guns, the hot gases and used cartridges are ejected out of the right-hand side. Holding the gun sideways in your right hand means they fly up at your face. (Left-handers get hit in the belly or groin.)

I'm not going to say that it's impossible to shoot this way, but guns are designed to be shot in the normal way, so they're a lot easier to use when you use them correctly.

BMalion
04-02-2003, 12:54 PM
Also we are binocular, two eyes, and the sight is desifgned to work with one eye on each side to focus, so if you turn your head sideways no problem, but then there's that pesky inner-ear...

TigoleBitties
04-02-2003, 01:20 PM
-NO REPERCUSSIONS. How many freakin movies you seen where people do a HUGE amount of damage and show them getting arrested or jailed because they killed a guy (how the hell do the Police know it). Hell the last time I heard about repercussions it was the guys getting sued by every state, county, and city rep in New York from the Gozer fight in Ghostbusters 2.

-The 'it has to rain' when a car chase happens - this is the only way they can justify sliding turns.

-Shooting gas tanks causes them to blow up

-BAD AIMING FROM BAD GUYS. Jesus Keerist, someone hire a fucking merc that can actually SHOOT A DAMN. I mean how hard can it be to shoot a big ass meathead standing in front of a fireball in perfect silhouette.

-Heroes never EVER EVER go into shock after getting shot. EVER.

-Shooting out a tire while driving.

-Passcodes, passwords, security codes instantly broken by the great 'decrypting' program every hero has.

-Jumping, falling, or diving through glass never ends up getting the hero sliced to ribbons.

-And I don't care who you are, bareknuckle fighting never happens like it does in the movies. If someone telegraphed a punch that much, he would be beaten up right quick. And when have you seen someone break their hand after punching someone?

Engywook
04-02-2003, 03:11 PM
Originally posted by JWWells

All movie lasers move slower than light. All movie spaceships are capable of going faster than light. Therefore, laser-overrunning accidents must be very common.


Elementary. The slo-mo laser bolts are the Matrix bullet effect applied to photons. It's become an industry standard....

:p

Ob-tired cliche...

Good guy wins.

Burnt Sugar
04-02-2003, 03:43 PM
Originally posted by PatrickM
The guy and girl who start out by hating each others guts, who then get into a scene where they're screaming at each other, which scene ends with them throwing themselves into each others' arms and kissing passionately. Yeah, right.

Or similarly when a 2 people were previously just friends, until the girl trips and falls, but the guy catches her in a tight embrace. Then they stare into each other eyes and realise they're meant for each other! *cue mad passionate kissing*

UES Guy
04-02-2003, 05:20 PM
- Almost any scene taking place at night in a big city will have wet streets---even someplace like Las Vegas, which gets on the order of 4 inches of rain a year

- Tension building...tension building...tension building...then a freaking cat jumps out.

- Lovers getting out of bed right after a steamy lovemaking session...while still wearing their underpants

- Or even better, when the aforementioned lovers kick back to enjoy that post-coital cigarette, they almost always have those special L-shaped sheets that reach the woman's shoulders but only the waist on the man (I love that Vanilla Sky didn't do that...mmmm...Penelope...)

Cisco
04-02-2003, 05:56 PM
Originally posted by ianzin
Man gets in car, is about to drive off. Someone who has been hiding by lying low in the back now sits upright and announces his presence, maybe also cocking a gun in the process.

It is strictly impossible for anyone to do this. You can not get in your own car and not know there's someone lying down just behind the driver's seat.



What in the world makes you think that? I used to do it every chance I got as a kid.

Also, I used to work at this resturant several years ago, and one of the cooks did this to every single waitress at least once. The only time he ever got caught is when one of them got in her car and he stunk so bad she jumped out because she thought we had put a trashbag in her back seat.

My best friend and my sister have both done it to [different] girlfriends of mine, and I've done it to several of my friends.

Out of the dozens and dozens of times I've seen this old trick work, I've only seen it not work maybe two or three times.

jsc1953
04-02-2003, 06:12 PM
Originally posted by Vlad Dracul
Ianzin,

When the gun is sideways....
With semi-automatic guns, the hot gases and used cartridges are ejected out of the right-hand side. Holding the gun sideways in your right hand means they fly up at your face. (Left-handers get hit in the belly or groin.)


This was actually a plot point in a recent episode of CSI. Gang killer had a burn on his face where the spent cartridge hit him, after shooting somebody while holding the gun sideways.

jsc1953
04-02-2003, 06:27 PM
Originally posted by TigoleBitties
-And when have you seen someone break their hand after punching someone?

M*A*S*H (the movie). Elliott Gould punches Robert Duvall and doubles over in pain.

So that's one, in 100 Years of Cinema.

Miller
04-02-2003, 06:35 PM
Originally posted by jsc1953
M*A*S*H (the movie). Elliott Gould punches Robert Duvall and doubles over in pain.

So that's one, in 100 Years of Cinema.

Well, it's also a common cliche that stuffy fancy-pants types who try to act tough and punch out the villain always end up rolling around holding their hand while the villain laughs dismissivly.

SnugTheJoiner
04-02-2003, 10:44 PM
1) When the protagonist enters a bar, the bartender is invariably in the act of polishing a bar glass.

2) Staring at one's hands in disbelief after killing someone for the first time

3) SCIENCE FICTION: "That's funny. My watch has stopped too."

4) SCENE: WOODS, NIGHTTIME
SITUATION: A GROUP OF PEOPLE ARE BEING MURDERED ONE BY ONE

"I have a bad feeling about this."
"Me too."
"Let's split up."
"Okay."

msmith537
04-02-2003, 10:56 PM
Originally posted by TigoleBitties
-NO REPERCUSSIONS. How many freakin movies you seen where people do a HUGE amount of damage and show them getting arrested or jailed because they killed a guy (how the hell do the Police know it). [/B]

The only repercussion is "YOUR SUSPENDED!!!" for violating some silly beurocratic rule that defies common sense and in spite of the positive outcome (like Segal rescuing the Vice Pres in Exit Wounds). Suspended cop or agent is reinstated for solving the crime at the end of the movie even though they caused 10 times as much damage as the action that got them suspended, probably got a few cops killed and conveniently ignored the fact that they should not be out fighting crimes while under suspension.

Bad guys can only be arrested for the big drug/gun deal that will occur at the climax of the movie . Any arrest for anything else, including shooting at the cops or murdering people, will onlly result in the perp being let back on the street in 24 hours (we'll try to make it 12:D ) (see Bad Boys or Lethal Weapon). Seeing 8 suspicious guys loading a container ship full of cash and guns is not considered "probable cause".


OUR SPECIES HAS JUDGED YOU HU-MONS TO BE A VIOLENT AND IMMATURE RACE! PUNISHMENT IS....EXTERMINATION!!!

HDS
04-03-2003, 07:06 AM
O Fortuna. Incredible, yes, but used waaaaaay too much.

BMalion
04-03-2003, 07:40 AM
[young hero watching old master get killed]
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....!!!"
[/young hero watching old master get killed]

Bryan Ekers
04-03-2003, 08:08 AM
The TV show Oz is just one relentless cycle of a character coming out of a depression, expressing hope for the future, then getting shanked in the laundry room.

msmith537
04-04-2003, 12:03 PM
The most sophisticated sensors and and imaging devices can be thwarted with mud.

Shade
04-04-2003, 05:42 PM
Originally posted by jsc1953
M*A*S*H (the movie). Elliott Gould punches Robert Duvall and doubles over in pain.

So that's one, in 100 Years of Cinema.

I think it happened in Superman too.



Or doesn't that count?:D

Lissa
04-04-2003, 08:18 PM
Originally posted by MetalDog
In any war movie, when a soldier says, "Two more months and I'm out, man."

Dead man walking.

Or, if he shows his buddies pictures of his wife and baby. You know he's not going to last for the next five minutes. Family pictures are a Guarantee of Death.

On another note, have you ever noticed that almost every car in the movies needs a break job? They almost invariably squeal when coming to a stop.

pokey
04-04-2003, 11:11 PM
The 2 that bug me are primarily seen in chick flicks.

1. The beautiful woman is also kind and unpretentious and we know this because in the first 5 minutes of the movie she passes by a homeless guy on the street and she'll say something cute to him and call him by name ("How's your love life, Harold!?") and he'll say something sassy back and call her sweetie. This woman can be a complete prat for the rest of the movie but you can't question her character because she knows a homeless guy by name.

2. In the same type of movie there will come a point when the heroine needs to "get down to work" in some way. It's either some kind of self-improvement scheme or a research project that involves wearing a flattering ponytail and going to the library. There's always a "getting down to work" montage usually with some kind of horrid motivational disco workout song by Diana Ross playing through the whole thing.

Vlad Dracul
04-04-2003, 11:16 PM
The cop, upon being ordered NOT to go after the bad guy (and threatened with suspension, etc.) escapes all responsibility by putting his badge on the chief's desk before going out after the bad guy.

"Look here, chief.... here's my badge... I'm not a cop until I put it back on, so you have absolutely no authority over me. I'm going to go destroy half the city now in my personal vendetta against The Head Bad Guy."

Bryan Ekers
04-05-2003, 07:14 AM
Originally posted by Shade
I think it happened in Superman too.



Or doesn't that count?:D

Jack Nicholson cringes after punching Michael Keaton in the stomach, while the latter was wearing his armored Batman suit.

chigger
04-05-2003, 01:49 PM
[bump]

I've laughed to tears at this thread. Worth a bump for those who haven't seen it.

heresiarch
04-05-2003, 04:10 PM
First one - a bit of dialogue:
"I'm going in."
"Are you insane!? - it's too dangerous."
"I don't have any choice, dammit! I've got to rescue so-and-so (recover the whatchamacallit). Besides, they'll never expect us to try to get into their headquarters."
"Well, OK, but I'm coming with you..."

Number two: (If someone has mentioned this, I haven't noticed it yet)
The blow to the head that knocks someone out, but has no permanent effect. Concussions can cause permanent damage - especially if the blow is hard enough to knock someone out. But if the hero needs to spring back into action, he just shakes his head to clear his vision and he's fully recovered.

Two A: If someone isn't evil to be slain with impunity, the hero can bop him on the head to efficiently and humanely get him out of the way.

Three: If someone is evil enough to deserve death, turning his head 90 degrees will snap his neck like a toothpick.

msmith537
04-05-2003, 08:02 PM
Originally posted by Vlad Dracul
"Look here, chief.... here's my badge... I'm not a cop until I put it back on, so you have absolutely no authority over me. I'm going to go destroy half the city now in my personal vendetta against The Head Bad Guy." [/B]

"A POLICE CAR! A WRECKED SHOPPING MALL!! OVER 50 COMPLAINTS!! YOU WRECKED HALF THE CITY WITH THAT CRAZY STUNT OF YOURS! DAMMIT!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR LOOSE CANNON TACTICS! THE MAYOR WANTS TO THROW YOUR ASS IN JAIL! NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I HAVE YOU HANDING OUT PARKING TICKETS!

AtomicDog
04-05-2003, 08:23 PM
Originally posted by msmith537
"A POLICE CAR! A WRECKED SHOPPING MALL!! OVER 50 COMPLAINTS!! YOU WRECKED HALF THE CITY WITH THAT CRAZY STUNT OF YOURS! DAMMIT!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR LOOSE CANNON TACTICS! THE MAYOR WANTS TO THROW YOUR ASS IN JAIL! NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I HAVE YOU HANDING OUT PARKING TICKETS!


"Hammerrrr!"

Ranger
04-06-2003, 03:24 PM
The fruit cart, hay wagon, semi truck that crosses in front of the chaser in a chase scene.

Fireball explosions.

How can 8 bad guys with full auto weapons manage to miss the hero at a range of 20 yards or less?

Willis Ducts. (re: Die Hard - duct work in ceilings large enough for the hero to crawl through in order to escape, overhear the evil plan, out flank the bad guys.

Auto chase scenes where the pursing car takes out the open door of a parked vehicle. (it used to always be a VW bus)

The scene where the hero goes into the armory he just happens to have handy to stock up on the weapons he'll need.

The handsome blonde guy

The funny overweight friend

The corrupt police officer (unless he's the police captain in a city in Morocco and it's 1941)

Sparrow
04-06-2003, 04:57 PM
Hero and heroine have a lot of sexual tension going but they haven't got together yet. They go for a walk in the park or something, the guy is playing around and falls down like he's hurt and doesn't get up. Girl screams "Oh Jack" (or whatever) and runs to him, falls to her knees beside him. THEN he opens his eyes and grins and she melts into his arms.

They did it in Attack of the Clones for gossake.

The Man With The Golden Gun
04-06-2003, 06:43 PM
The villian's password will ALWAYS be something related to them or their plan. No villian will ever use something like "x6Lyj90Pw" for a password.

Bombs that aways have the timer in big red letters. Apparently no one every thought of making a bomb that doesn't do this.

And on the subject of bombs, there's always a scene where the hero is defusing a bomb, and he must either cut the red wire or the blue wire. He can't figure out which to cut. I just want to scream "JUST CUT BOTH OF THEM!"

msmith537
04-08-2003, 11:46 AM
Originally posted by The Man With The Golden Gun
]The villian's password will ALWAYS be something related to them or their plan. No villian will ever use something like "x6Lyj90Pw" for a password.


shit

Now I have to abort "OPERATION: x6Lyj90Pw"



Originally posted by The Man With The Golden Gun
Bombs that aways have the timer in big red letters. Apparently no one every thought of making a bomb that doesn't do this.


My bombs are programmed to explode at 1:05


Originally posted by The Man With The Golden Gun
And on the subject of bombs, there's always a scene where the hero is defusing a bomb, and he must either cut the red wire or the blue wire. He can't figure out which to cut. I just want to scream "JUST CUT BOTH OF THEM!" [/B]

Or just blast it with a shotgun like they do in real life with those police robots.


Some new ones:

Girls who kick ass - On what planet can a 5'4" 110 lbs supermodel kick the crap out of a dozen 6'2" 220 lbs commandos in body armor?


Retired Special Forces/secret Agent guys who are "the best man for the job". Look, if your training program can no longer produce operatives as competant as an emotionally crippled alchoholic who retired from service 4 years ago to become a cook/fireman/cabbie/angry wandering drifter, maybe you should take a good hard look at it.

Ranchoth
04-08-2003, 07:20 PM
Originally posted by msmith537
Girls who kick ass - On what planet can a 5'4" 110 lbs supermodel kick the crap out of a dozen 6'2" 220 lbs commandos in body armor?


I'd just like to say, for the record, that I'd be willing to pay good money to see a movie that featured a 6'2 229 lb. SUPERMODEL wearing body armor.

msmith537
04-08-2003, 08:37 PM
Originally posted by Ranchoth
I'd just like to say, for the record, that I'd be willing to pay good money to see a movie that featured a 6'2 229 lb. SUPERMODEL wearing body armor. [/B]


Are you sure? (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0114467)

Stoid
04-09-2003, 12:59 PM
Originally posted by Linty Fresh
Guys who hook up with prostitutes with hearts of gold and no drug problems, psychological problems or venereal diseases. This does not happen in real life.

Yes it does.

FairyDust
04-09-2003, 02:08 PM
Person A is outnumbered by baddies beating him/her up. At the last second Person B shows up, saves Person A by successfully beating up all the baddies. Then Person B turns to Person A and is expecting some sort of response, at the very least, a thank you. Person A glares at Person B and says, "I was doing just FINE! I didn't need your help!"

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