PDA

View Full Version : The Apprentice -- 3/31/05


twickster
03-31-2005, 08:08 AM
It looks like tonight is the night Chris finally blows -- will nicotine withdrawal play a part? The task is to come up with a new flavor of pizza (for DominosTM) and hawk it on the streets of New York -- gah, I hate these tasks, I just don't see what they have to do with being Trump's lackey.

Nope, nothing interesting for the preview -- just startin' the thread -- see y'all back here at 9:00.

Captain Amazing
03-31-2005, 08:20 AM
"Chris, why did you think tobacco pizza would be a good idea?"
"I AM NOT A PIZZA MAKER, MR. TRUMP!"

The Big Cheese
03-31-2005, 08:22 AM
the promo commercials show him losing it with more than one person, This should be good! I hope he lasts though, because it's so fun watching him.

Scuba_Ben
03-31-2005, 08:42 AM
"Chris, why did you think tobacco pizza would be a good idea?"
"I AM NOT A PIZZA MAKER, MR. TRUMP!"Maybe he'll get his tomatoes from Homer Simpson's farm of mutant radioactive plants.

CrazyCatLady
03-31-2005, 12:51 PM
I don't remember a farm of mutant radioactive plants. I remember him juicing some wacky tobaccy, though.

Rube E. Tewesday
03-31-2005, 12:52 PM
It looks like tonight is the night Chris finally blows -- will nicotine withdrawal play a part? The task is to come up with a new flavor of pizza (for DominosTM) and hawk it on the streets of New York -- gah, I hate these tasks, I just don't see what they have to do with being Trump's lackey.



Well, the main reason they do them, of course, is that they're fun television. On the other hand, being able to handle any crazy shit the boss throws at you is an important part of being anybody's lackey, and in the Trump organization, I'd guess it's more than usually important.

nivlac
03-31-2005, 01:08 PM
There's the strong possibility that the promos highlighting Chris' behavior may be a red herring. Let's see what unfolds tonight.

twickster
03-31-2005, 01:10 PM
Red herring!?!?!?! They wouldn't toy with us, would they?

Green Bean
03-31-2005, 02:16 PM
Red herring pizza?

twickster
03-31-2005, 02:18 PM
Red herring pizza?
No grosser than a white pizza with anchovies.

Of course, that's pretty gross....

pilot141
03-31-2005, 02:34 PM
I don't remember a farm of mutant radioactive plants.

That would be the Tomacco farm.


New from Domino's: Tomacco pizza!! Tastes like an ashtray but you'll keep coming back for more!

Captain Amazing
03-31-2005, 02:42 PM
My guess (and I could be wrong on this) is that the pizza that wins will be "Bacon Cheeseburger Pizza". I ordered a pizza from Dominos last weekend, and the box came with a sticker hawking that, saying "Try our delicious new flavor!".

monster
03-31-2005, 02:45 PM
The promos show Chris going crazy on Alex, right? IIRC, they are on different teams, so do you think they'll be working at the same Domino's?

AuntiePam
03-31-2005, 08:17 PM
Ooooh, bacon cheeseburger pizza's my favorite. One of the chains here has been making them for years. It comes with sliced dill pickles on the side. YumMY!

cheddarsnax
03-31-2005, 09:07 PM
I've spent tremendous amounts of money to build the best buffet in the United States.

cheddarsnax
03-31-2005, 09:09 PM
I Am Not A Sunflower Seed Addict Mr Trump

cheddarsnax
03-31-2005, 09:10 PM
You have no idea how much I hate the caps filter right now.

twickster
03-31-2005, 09:25 PM
Hee. Maybe we can ask Jerry to toggle the caps filter so it automatically disconnects when we're mocking Chris isn Apprentice threads.

Wait. Since he'll probably be gone in half an hour, it's probably not worth it.

twickster
03-31-2005, 09:29 PM
Damn -- my attention wandered -- what were the final amounts?

AuntiePam
03-31-2005, 09:39 PM
$650 something to $530 something, I think.

It does look like Chris's outburst clip was a red herring. He was repeating what Alex said to him.

Does anyone really consider "Get the f*** out of my face" a threat?

BigDummy
03-31-2005, 09:47 PM
The words by themselves? No. But the way he said it, I'd have to consider at least an aggressive challenge if not an outright threat.

BigDummy
03-31-2005, 09:48 PM
That said, Alex was being a bit of a wuss about it.

cheddarsnax
03-31-2005, 09:49 PM
So Trump likes physical aggression?

Maybe Chris has more of a chance than we think.

BigDummy
03-31-2005, 09:51 PM
Wow. Way to throw Stephanie under the bus.

TeaElle
03-31-2005, 09:52 PM
Is Stephanie really on the line here? Instead of crazy, screaming temper-tantrum boy?

cheddarsnax
03-31-2005, 09:53 PM
Goodbye Stephanie. I think Trump sees a bit of himself in Chris.

I missed the apology portion -- can someone explain?

NotWithoutRage
03-31-2005, 09:53 PM
What.the.hell?

How does Chris squeak by every week?

twickster
03-31-2005, 09:59 PM
Well, nivlac was right -- Chris's meltdown was a red herring. Ha! I guess we all saw red!

AuntiePam
03-31-2005, 10:03 PM
That was weird.

Why couldn't she use one of the models to deliver the pizza to Brooklyn? That was a dumb idea, but maybe they didn't know where they were going to be working from the next day.

Chris showed some progress. Not just ditching the chew, but holding his temper in the board room.

Why didn't Chris call Alex out on his flirting with the customers, wasting time chatting up the hotties?

Alex hasn't shown me s***. I wonder what Trump sees in him. He's a star?

Si Amigo
03-31-2005, 10:16 PM
I missed the part where they needed TWO people to deliver pizza to Brooklyn. :smack: Shouldn't one the girls had worked the counter while one went off to Union Station? I'm sure Chris would have felt safe enough on the subway! Nobody would have f***ed with that Dude! :D

Scuba_Ben
03-31-2005, 10:16 PM
What I learned from the task: Much like previous convenience-food tasks, it's all in the marketing, baby. Selling lunches to the offices was one heck of a coup, and a more reliable income stream than the slice-a-head lunchtime crowd.

What I learned from the firing: Difficult people can be managed, if you're tough enough. Just make sure you supervise them properly.

I'm surprised neither Alex nor Stephanie provoked Chris into a rage. That would've sealed his fate: I DO NOT HAVE AN ANGER PROBLEM MR. TRUMP!

DrFidelius
03-31-2005, 10:25 PM
If Trump had said he liked cat food on his pizzas, would both teams have come up with a "Fresh Friskies" pie?

pokey
03-31-2005, 11:02 PM
If Trump had said he liked cat food on his pizzas, would both teams have come up with a "Fresh Friskies" pie?
Yes. But I'm glad he said meatballs so I wouldn't have to watch them spend a lot of time trying to figure out whether yogurt pizza was better than oatmeal pizza.

My favorite part was when they went to Trump's house for pancakes and oohed and aaahed at his jewel-encrusted solid gold toilet, etc.

I'm glad Stephanie's gone. How lame and pathetic is this "I'm not used to working with vulgar people" or whatever it was she kept saying. Since when is not being used to unrefined people a good excuse for sucking?

For a while there they kept saying "get a model to do it, get a model to work the cash, get a model to deliver that pizza" and I kept laughing. I'd like an army of models on standby in case I need someone to mop up or get the phone or something.

Diogenes the Cynic
03-31-2005, 11:05 PM
Hasn't Chris been in like ten Board Rooms in a row? It's amazing that he keeps squeaking by. I think everyone keeps bringing him because they're sure that one of his epsiodes has got to get him fired sooner or later. I think the problem is that he usually hasn't been directly responisble for the losses and DT seems to find it more entertaining to keep him around than to fire him. It's become a sort of game to Trump to see if he can get Chris to pop his cork.

Silver Fire
03-31-2005, 11:22 PM
My mom thinks if she had taken Angie into the boardroom, Stephanie would've had a better chance of coming out of it okay. I tend to agree with her. Thoughts? Also, is having a wad of sunflower seeds packed into your cheek and subsequently spitting the shells of those seeds into a Solo cup really any less than disgusting than chewing tobacco? Unless he swallows those, too, but I saw a cup in his hand when he was talking about eating seeds instead of chewing.

As a side note, I think Papa John's had some inside information on this. Did anyone else see the commercial in which Papa John swivels around in an office chair and advises us to tell the competition they're fired before trying one of his delicious new spicy meatball pizzas (which look delicious, btw)?

And what's the deal with Steph talking about how inept the high schoolers are? Haven't they been kicking ass lately?

Diogenes the Cynic
03-31-2005, 11:38 PM
My mom thinks if she had taken Angie into the boardroom, Stephanie would've had a better chance of coming out of it okay. I tend to agree with her. Thoughts? Also, is having a wad of sunflower seeds packed into your cheek and subsequently spitting the shells of those seeds into a Solo cup really any less than disgusting than chewing tobacco? Unless he swallows those, too, but I saw a cup in his hand when he was talking about eating seeds instead of chewing.
For real. Talk about missing the point. The reason everyone objects to the tobacco chewing isn't that anyone cares about his health but that it's effing gross to look at. Replacing one grody spit cup with another is not really progress.

LavenderBlue
04-01-2005, 02:07 AM
As a side note, I think Papa John's had some inside information on this. Did anyone else see the commercial in which Papa John swivels around in an office chair and advises us to tell the competition they're fired before trying one of his delicious new spicy meatball pizzas (which look delicious, btw)?


I was wondering the same thing.

Papa John's pizza is utterly awful . . . but that sure was memorable advertising.

Silver Fire
04-01-2005, 02:49 AM
Papa John's pizza is utterly awful . . .
Really? That's sad. I wonder if Papa Murphy's (whose garlic chicken alfredo pizza with spinach (or not, depending on my mood) and extra cheese is just about the awesomest pizza ever) has a comparable product?

Mullinator
04-01-2005, 07:56 AM
Break out the bubbly, the Raj Ratings are here. For your info, the pizza of choice at RRHQ would be mushroom and spinach with extra cheese on thin crust. Yummy. While I hate to harp on this point, this group of finalists sucks. A lot. Who here appears great enough to warrant us wanting them to win? Kendra? I guess but that's sort of like saying the fried donkey testicle tastes good after eating blood soaked worms, monkey feces, and freeze dried human noses. Tana? Yeah right, Trump's gonna hire her. Chris? Craig? Anyone else. Gah, what a bunch of maroons. These people make my head hurt with their incompentent boobery. In looking back at past Raj Ratings, I am now realizing that my bitter dislike has extended from individuals to pretty much everyone involved in the entire show. This does not strike me as a good trend. This was a bit of a bland show. I am surprised that with so few people left, it actually feels like we didn't even hear from some of them. I think this episode pretty much struck a deathknell for creativity. Both teams basically kowtowed to Trump and made a pizza with his suggested topping as opposed to actually branching out. Ugh, here we go.

Nursery School - Full of crying, childish people that could use either a potty break or a nap. These folks deserve to be watched by the crooked daycares profiled on "60 Minutes".

Todd, Brian, Danny, Kristen, Michael, Tara, Audrey, John, Erin - So very forgettable. Not just on this show, but life in general. I am pleased that we are far enough along in the lifecycle of reality TV that most of these people will never appear on TV again.
Stephanie (BS) (Middle School) - That was a long time in coming. If you were a futuristic travel guide, you'd be The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. "Mostly Harmless." You didn't so much do anything really wrong, you just didn't do anything really right. Middling incompetence is at least a reachable goal.

Elementary School - Some growth, but in the end it's a place rife with playground fights, name calling, and a trip to the Principal's office.

Chris (SS) (Elem. School) - It is a little sad when an obvious sideshow can make it so far because the rest of the choices are so weak. He has to know he has no shot at winning this. It does seem Trump has a heart though, almost like he wants to help Chris improve.
Angie (SS) (Elem. School) - I think you are dead in the water. Trump et al sort of expected your weak behind in the boardroom. You fall below Alex in the pecking order for sure. Much like the Pope, last rites are only a matter of time.

Middle School - A group that might be growing up but still prone to wild swings based on playground fights, name calling, and puberty.

Craig (SS) (Middle School) -

High School - Not quite a child, not quite an adult. Frankly, I still don't know what to make of these folks.
Bren (BS) (High School) - What a dynamic and exciting job as Project Manager you did. Oh wait, we hardly even saw you this episode.
Craig (SS) (Middle School) - Even when you are fired, you'll probably end up here. Solid, forgettable, and consistent is probably your hallmark on this show.

College - Older and wiser, things are looking up. Maybe not ready to enter the real world yet, but getting close.

Alex (BS) (College) - You are pretty solid. But, you are good in comparison to the rest who have been fired before you. You are not nearly good enough to warrant 3 white dudes in a row.
Kendra (BS) (College) - I guess you are good. I find it amazing that we know next to nothing about you this far into it, especially since you seem even somewhat capable. You have the dead horse beating ability to market to surrounding businesses. Whoopee. Sadly, I think that's probably enough to secure the win.

Grad School - These people have a clue, have some seasoning, and have a chance to make an impact.
Tana (SS) (Grad School) - I still think she's awesome, but she can't win. That said, she didn't do anything to hamper her standing this episode. I fear her language ability is the first sign that she is slowly turning into Yogi Berra.

PhD - Ready for tweed jackets, big paydays, and Trump's official pizza slicer


The Rancic/Perdew corollary update. At this point, it is pretty obvious. Angie and Chris might as well have vultures circling them. Alex, Craig, and Bren are all fine but clearly not shown as dynamic enough to win. Kendra and Tana are somehow the final 2 in this war of attrition. Final boot order: Angie, Chris, Bren, Craig, Alex and Tana. Kendra is going to win which inspires me not at all.

twickster
04-01-2005, 08:15 AM
Thanks, Mully -- I can head off to work with a smile on my lips and a song in my heart. Well, I can head off to work, anyway.

Not to be disingenuous -- but why is everyone saying Tana can't possibly win? She's kind of a hick, but I like her a lot. At least she's got a personality, unlike most of these people.

Diogenese -- I agree, Trump seems to enjoy winding Chris up. It's definitely fun for us to watch.

Scuba_Ben
04-01-2005, 08:42 AM
I think this week's Raj Ratings make for better entertainment than the show itself. Thanks Mullinator!

vertizontal
04-01-2005, 09:35 AM
........ Erin - So very forgettable. Not just on this show, but life in general. I am pleased that we are far enough along in the lifecycle of reality TV that most of these people will never appear on TV again............

Erin will live on in her own TV show, Inside Philadelphia (http://www.erinelmore.com/erinelmore.html)

CrazyCatLady
04-01-2005, 09:55 AM
Not to be disingenuous -- but why is everyone saying Tana can't possibly win? She's kind of a hick, but I like her a lot. At least she's got a personality, unlike most of these people.

Because she's this season's Troy. Kind of a hick, but a shrewd hick with a personable manner, and ultimately unhireable due to lack of education.

I have to think that what got Stephanie fired wasn't not bringing Angie, but rather her blaming the loss on Chris. If his argument with Alex (we'll discuss that lame-ass pussy in a moment) was such a non-issue that she only learned about it after the task was completed, then she's obviously just looking for a convenient scapegoat. If he's such a volcano looking for a place to erupt and is too disgusting to allow near the customers, it was the height of stupidity to leave him there unsupervised. So she either has no integrity and sucks ass as a human being, or she has no common sense and sucks ass as a manager. Either way, she sucks ass. And let's face it, Trumpy only likes people who specifically suck his ass.

As for Alexander the Douchebag, I've completely lost what tiny shred of respect I had for him. First off, it is completely and totally unprofessional and inappropriate to get up in someone's face in the workplace. If someone has to tell you get out of their face at work, you've crossed the line. If someone has to tell you that more than once, you're so far over the line you can't even see the thing any more. Secondly, what kind of wiener thinks "get the fuck out of my face" is a physical threat? "Get the fuck out of my face or I'm going to kick your ass" is a physical threat. "I'm going to rip off your head and shit down your neck," is a physical threat. "Get the fuck out of my face" is an order to stop being antagonistic. Thirdly, what's with this whole thing of going around telling everyone how scared he was of big mean Chris? My god, Ivana, were you so scared you had to hide in the corner of the trailer? Candyass.

middleman
04-01-2005, 10:55 AM
I don't get why Angie was on the hook. She didn't really do much. Bringing someone in just because you dislike them has been a fireable offense before.

I think she was right to bring in Alex and Chris. To bring one without the other would be inconsistent. Again, a fireable offense.

A few random thoughts:

* "This is making pizza, this isn't Rocket Scientist." Snicker.

* I don't see a Kelly in this bunch. Think Trump is sweating?

* I don't even have a third random thought. This season is kind of weak.

AuntiePam
04-01-2005, 10:58 AM
I can't see Tana working for Trump -- yet -- but I can see her being Carolyn's apprentice. I think she'd might work as a troubleshooter within the organization. Not necessarily overseeing a construction project, but working on personnel issues.

She's aware and thoughtful. She doesn't have an inflated opinion of herself. She knows who she is. She hasn't been a back-stabber, but she hasn't held back either.

She misused another word last night, didn't she? Did she confuse "respected" and "respective"? Something like that.

I'd like to see her lead a task again, but I don't know if everyone who's left has had a chance to be PM or not.

RancidYakButterTeaParty
04-01-2005, 11:03 AM
What.the.hell?

How does Chris squeak by every week?

Because the producers of the show, who really control the outcomes, know that you will keep watching if Chris might have a "meltdown". He makes for good tv, and nothing else.

vertizontal
04-01-2005, 11:10 AM
Does anyone else think that Dominoes Pizza got the Donald to say he likes meatballs because they already wanted to promote a new meatball pizza?

twickster
04-01-2005, 11:11 AM
IShe misused another word last night, didn't she? Did she confuse "respected" and "respective"? Something like that.

She may occasionally misuse a word -- but she's never been as poignant as Erin on that front. ;)

Mullinator
04-01-2005, 11:22 AM
Because she's this season's Troy. Kind of a hick, but a shrewd hick with a personable manner, and ultimately unhireable due to lack of education.



Agreed. If Trump didn't hire Troy after he pretty much dominated the show he certainly can't hire Tana who is less effective in a less impressive pool.

Diogenes the Cynic
04-01-2005, 11:27 AM
She may occasionally misuse a word -- but she's never been as poignant as Erin on that front. ;)
Hey now, let's not make such demeaningful remarks about the contestants' vocabularies. ;)

AuntiePam
04-01-2005, 12:24 PM
Agreed. If Trump didn't hire Troy after he pretty much dominated the show he certainly can't hire Tana who is less effective in a less impressive pool.

Really.

Maybe he'll just pay off this year's winner. He has that option, doesn't he? Hire them or pay them a year's salary?

Nutty Bunny
04-01-2005, 12:49 PM
Hey now, let's not make such demeaningful remarks about the contestants' vocabularies. ;)

Oh come on. How can we resist when Stephanie is in her taxicab confessional talking about how inferior the high school-educated contestants are, while using the "word" argumentive? It's just ripe for the snarking!

Nutty Bunny
04-01-2005, 12:51 PM
I always hit 'submit' too soon!

I have a feeling Chris would yell at someone even when asked what he had for lunch that day.

I HAD A CHICKEN CAESAR SALAD, MR TRUMP!!

Theodore Striker
04-01-2005, 02:37 PM
Just a couple of thoughts.... did anyone else think that the Chris/ Alex hug lasted just a second too long? I'm getting that vibe from Alex, and then there is " I am not a homosexual!". Maybe I'm just looking to far into this.... Stef was a waste, but I had a thing for her in those glasses, what a shame.... after the Subway trip to Brooklyn, and admitting that they could have sold the pizzas for a much higher price on the way, why didn't someone get the idea to make a bunch of pies and head back down to the underground? Low hanging fruit! I really wish angie would go away quickly, something about her just annoys the living hell out of me... Chris will never win, but I agree that Trump loves pushing his buttons.... if I was a betting man, my money is on Craig, no big mistakes, one overwhelming victory, and a low profile

The Big Cheese
04-01-2005, 07:00 PM
Trump must have this radio program, on for about 2 minutes. I just heard it while reading this....eerie.

He said, 'I've been thinking of firing Chris for 3 weeks now, but there's something about him that intrigues me, he is a millionaire...'

But maybe he's just saying that. There sure is slim pickins this year.

I still think Chris is gone soon, didn't Trump call him a crazyman last night?
I AM NOT A CRAZYMAN MR TRUMP!

But going all the way to Brooklyn?? With 2 people?? How dumb is that. And that one, has never even been in the subway.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright 2018 STM Reader, LLC.