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View Full Version : Great comedic Bad Guys


Don Draper
06-30-2005, 02:54 PM
C. Montgomery Burns - "the Simpsons"
Dr. Praetorius - "the Bride of Frankenstein"
Nurse Diesel - "High Anxiety"
Dr. Strangelove - (eponymous)
Dr. Frank'n'Furter - "the Rocky Horror Picture Show"
Mimi - "the Drew Carey Show"
Marvin the Martian
Yosemite Sam
the Martians - "Mars Attacks!"
Dabney Coleman in almost anything he's ever done.

Ponder Stibbons
06-30-2005, 02:57 PM
What? Just a list, no great quotes?

Throw me a frickin' bone, here ...

photopat
06-30-2005, 03:01 PM
Heddy Lamar - "Blazing Saddles"




































3...2...1...

Dolores Reborn
06-30-2005, 03:02 PM
Blazing Saddles - Harvey Korman as Hedley Lamar

Draelin
06-30-2005, 03:07 PM
3...2...1...
That's Hedley.

Iguana Boy
06-30-2005, 03:08 PM
Heddy Lamar - "Blazing Saddles"



3...2...1...

"That's Hedley!"


There ya go!

Draelin
06-30-2005, 03:12 PM
Ahh, the beloved simulpost.

And for good measure--Rick Moranis as Dark Helmet in Spaceballs. "Now that I have my coffee, I'm ready to watch radar."

Hey, It's That Guy!
06-30-2005, 03:12 PM
Heddy Lamar - "Blazing Saddles"

"That's Hedley!"

3...2...1...

More:
David Brent (Ricky Gervais) and Michael Scott (Steve Carrell), the bosses from the two versions of The Office.
Orin Scrivello, DDS (Steve Martin) in Little Shop of Horrors.
Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis) in Spaceballs.
Dr. Cox (John C. McGinley) and Dr. Kelso (Ken Jenkins) from Scrubs (although both are more jerks than "bad guys").
Newman (Wayne Knight) from Seinfeld.
Christopher Walken in almost every role he's ever had.

Don Draper
06-30-2005, 03:13 PM
So sorry, I inserted quotes. Here ya go!


C. Montgomery Burns - "the Simpsons" - "This slackjawed family of troglodytes ruin my chances of getting elected, yet if I were to have them killed I'D be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you, Smithers!"


Dr. Praetorius - "the Bride of Frankenstein" - "Alcohol, my one & only vice." "Tobacco, my one & only vice." etc. etc.


Nurse Diesel - "High Anxiety" - "Those who are tardy do not get a fruitcup."


Dr. Strangelove - (eponymous) - "Of course, the whole point of a Doomsday Machine is lost, if you *keep* it a *secret*! Why didn't you tell the world, EH?"

Dr. Frank'n'Furter - "the Rocky Horror Picture Show" - "It's not easy having a good time" (Audience = "When your friends are all stoned!")

Mimi - "the Drew Carey Show" - " I have obsessive compulsive disorder. I have to do everything in threes. That's kinda how I got my reputation in school as a slut."


Marvin the Martian - "Oh you needn't worry about getting back to the Earth. I'm going to blow it up."

Yosemite Sam - "First I'll marry the old bat, then take all her money, burn down the liberry and throw the orphans out of the orphanage! a heh heh heh hee."

the Martians - "Mars Attacks!" - "grabble rabble rak rak-rak-rak! Ark! Ak! Ak! Ak!"

Dabney Coleman in almost anything he's ever done. - "Oh excuse me, Violet, I guess I thought my next move was obvious. I'm going to have you three bitches thrown in jail!" (from "Nine to Five")

Rufus Xavier
06-30-2005, 03:18 PM
The Duke Brothers from Trading Places:

Randolph Duke: Mother always said you were greedy.
Mortimer Duke: She meant it as a compliment.

want2know
06-30-2005, 03:22 PM
Engulf and Devour--"Silent Movie"
Dr. Evil--"Austin Powers"
Boss Hogg--"Dukes of Hazzard"
Dean Wormer--"Animal House"
Dr. Smith--"Lost in Space"
Stewie--"Family Guy"
Klang--"Help!"

RealityChuck
06-30-2005, 03:43 PM
Hades in Hercules -- Disney had very few comic villains, but this was a great one, mostly due to James Woods. "I've got 24 hours to get rid of this bozo, or the entire scheme I've been setting up for 18 years goes up in smoke, and you are wearing his merchandise? "

Trentino in Duck Soup -- "You upstart!"

HPL
06-30-2005, 03:48 PM
Leonardo Leonardo from the Clerks animated series.

"Well played, clerks!"

"My revenge won't be swift or entertaining, but rather drawn out so that you'll wonder wether the misery in your life was manifest or the machinations of Leonardo Leonardo!

Cervaise
06-30-2005, 03:59 PM
Kevin Kline as Otto in A Fish Called Wanda. "I'm dis-a-POIN-ted!"

Podkayne
06-30-2005, 04:07 PM
The Monarch from Venture Bros.: "Venture and I have engaged in a deadly game of cat . . . and also cat . . . for years."

want2know
06-30-2005, 04:10 PM
Anakin in ROTS ? :p

Rubystreak
06-30-2005, 04:16 PM
Beetlejuice: "I'm the ghost with the most, baby!"

The Sta-Puft Marshmellow Man from Ghostbusters

Saddam Hussein in South Park

Willy Wonka in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy
06-30-2005, 04:19 PM
Newman-"Seinfeld" (smarmy voice) "Hello, Jerry"

Count de Money (de Monet!)-"History of the World Part 1" "Don't get saucy with me, Bearnaise"

silenus
06-30-2005, 04:19 PM
Jack Lemmon as Professor Fate in The Great Race.

"Push the button, Max"

[On a melting iceberg]
Leslie: You better keep it to yourself.
Fate: Oh, of course I'll keep it to myself.
[to himself]
Fate: Until the water reaches my lower lip, and then I'm going to mention it to *somebody*!

carnivorousplant
06-30-2005, 04:20 PM
The Mikado in, well, Gilbert & Sullivan's MIkado

"I've forgotten the punishment for encompassing the death of the Royal Heir, but I believe it has something to do with boiling oil, or melted lead...Yes, boiling oil comes into it somewhere..."

Ukulele Ike
06-30-2005, 04:36 PM
Dr. Praetorius - "the Bride of Frankenstein" - "Alcohol, my one & only vice." "Tobacco, my one & only vice." etc. etc.
Actually, it was "my only weakness."

A reboot of a line Thesiger originated in the role of Horace Femm in The Old Dark House (1932). "Will you have some gin?.....it is my only weakness."

"It's only gin, you know. I like gin."

"Have a potato."

Come to think of it, nearly all the characters in The Old Dark House were great comedic bad guys.

photopat
06-30-2005, 05:25 PM
Lex Luthor as played by Gene Hackman.

"It's not that I don't trust you Otis but...I don't trust you Otis, what did you do?"

Khan
06-30-2005, 05:43 PM
Klang--"Help!"


Klang had his moments, but Bhuta deserves a mention too. ;)

Judge Elihu Smalls, Caddyshack
Lord Ilpalazzo, Excel Saga
The Mooninites, Aqua Teen Hunger Force

HPL
06-30-2005, 06:13 PM
I rather liked the Pengiun in "Batman Returns"

"You're just jealous because I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask."

The Penguin: By the way, how's Fred Atkins, your old partner?
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Fred? I believe he's... on extended vacation. He's good.
The Penguin: Good?
[Penguin takes out a severed hand]
The Penguin: Hi, Max! Remember me? I'm Fred's hand! You wanna greet any other body parts? Remember, Max. You flush it. I flaunt it.

Penguin: What if I said I had proof you own half the firetraps in Gotham city?
Max Shreck: That's not an admission. Besides, if there were such documents, I would have had them shredded.
*Pengiun pulls out a crumbled wad of shredded paper held together by scotch tape*
Pengiun: A little tape and a lot of patience goes a long way.

I know I mangled that qoute.

HPL
06-30-2005, 06:15 PM
Lex Luthor as played by Gene Hackman.

"It's not that I don't trust you Otis but...I don't trust you Otis, what did you do?"

[Otis overlays map with new map]
Lex Luthor: Costa Del Lex. Luthorville. Marina del Lex. Otisburg... Otisburg?
Otis: Miss Tessmacher, she's got her own place.
Lex Luthor: Otisburg?
Otis: It's a little bitty place.
Lex Luthor: [Angrily] Otisburg?
Otis: Okay, I'll just wipe it off, that's all. Just a little town.

Lex Luthor: [to Otis] You were followed again.
[Otis spins around, knocking over a lamp]
Lex Luthor: ...in spite of those catlike reflexes.

Morbo
06-30-2005, 06:32 PM
Lex Luthor as played by Gene Hackman.

"It's not that I don't trust you Otis but...I don't trust you Otis, what did you do?"

"We all have our little faults. Mine is in California."


"But my Grandmother lives in Hackensack!"
::looks at watch, shakes head::

Don Draper
06-30-2005, 06:38 PM
Lex Luthor as played by Gene Hackman.

"It's not that I don't trust you Otis but...I don't trust you Otis, what did you do?"

In Superman II, right after the three kryptonian supervillains dramatically smash their way into the Daily Planet offices...

Lex: Intellectually superior race, my ass. When are these yo-yo's going to learn how to use a door-knob??


Somehow, thoughts of Lex Luthor put me in mind of the Brain from "Pinky & the Brain" (I guess it's their similarly smooth, shiny heads).

Pinky: What are you planning to do, huh? What? What?

Brain: To rule the world!

RealityChuck
06-30-2005, 06:44 PM
Count Olaf in A Series of Unfortunate Events -- "All that I ask is that you do every little thing that pops into my head, while I enjoy the enormous fortune your parents left behind. "

The Danbys in Support Your Local Sheriff -- though most of the humor is visual: Bruce Dern's face when he sees the paint on the floor;

Walter Brennan's reaction when James Garner sticks his finger into Brennan's gun, which led to this:

Pa Danby: If that gun had gone off, it would of blowed up in my face.
Jason McCullough: Well, it wouldn't have done my finger a lot of good either, would it?

Pa Danby: Now I'm going to take a little trip tomorrow and I want you to behave yourselves while I'm gone. I don't want anyone to make no martyr out of this here sheriff.
Tom Danby: What's a martyr?
Pa Danby: Oh, I'm sorry. They didn't use words like that in third grade, did they?
Tom Danby: Well, how would I know? I didn't get that far!

Mrs. Tweedy in Chicken Run: "It's a pie machine, you idiot. Chickens go in, pies come out."

pinkfreud
06-30-2005, 07:07 PM
My favorite comic villain is Vizzini, from The Princess Bride, played by the incomparable Wallace Shawn. "Inconceivable!"

Shirley Ujest
06-30-2005, 07:39 PM
The Incomparible Alan Rickman in Robin Hood: Prince of Theives:

"I'll cut out his heart with a spoon."


And naturally, as Hans Gruber

" Nice suit. John Phillips, London. I have two myself. Rumor has it Arafat buys his there. "

and my favorite of the Die Hard Series:

Hans Gruber: "The following people are to be released from their captors : In Northern Ireland, the seven members of the New Provo Front. In Canada, the five imprisoned leaders of Liberte de Quebec... In Sri Lanka, the nine members of the Asian Dawn movement...

Karl: Asian Dawn Movement?

Hans: I read about them in Time magazine

want2know
06-30-2005, 08:44 PM
Col. Erhardt in "To Be or Not To Be"--both Sig Rumann in the original and Charles Durning in the Mel Brooks version.
"So ,they call me Concentration Camp Erhardt, hmm?"
And, while we're mentioning Charles Durning, how about Doc Hopper in "The Muppet Movie"?

ddgryphon
06-30-2005, 08:49 PM
Sigfried (Bernie Kopel) from Get Smart: "So, Schmart, ve meet again"
The Evil John Worfen (John Lithgow) from Buckaroo Banzai: Laugha while you can a Monkey boy!" and really too many more to recount here or anywhere.
Goddam from Bored of the Rings (no quotes, but just his presence and the general humor of it all -- especially his demise)
Harcourt Fenton "Harry" Mudd (Roger Carmel) from Star Trek: "I provide a service!"
Dirk Blackpool (Duncan Regher) from Wizards and Warriors: After cutting the line holding the heroes sidekick and sending him plummetting into a bottomless pit. (smarmy smile) "Hi."
Endora (Agnes Moorehead) from Bewitched: "Honestly Samantha, I don't know what you see in this Derwood."
Clang (Leo McKern) Help! :"Psst. Hey Be-ah-tul, over here."
Simon BarSinster (Allen Swift) from Underdog. "Simon Says, 'Dry up!' Ya-ha-ha-ha"

I know I'll think of more

Hung Mung
06-30-2005, 10:18 PM
Iago as played by Ken Branagh.
I love watching him mess with Cassio's head.

Valerieblaise
06-30-2005, 11:07 PM
How 'bout Ed Rooney from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"? I can't even think of which quote sums him up the best, maybe "Your ass is mine." The best Rooney moment was at the end of the movie, though, when he got on the school bus. Oh yeah.

Kolak of Twilo
06-30-2005, 11:38 PM
Alan Rickman as The Sherriff of Nottingham in that horrible Kevin Costner version of "Robin Hood".



Unintentionally of course.



He was still a stitch tho.

Tracy Lord
06-30-2005, 11:45 PM
Sam Rockwell's character ("Knox"?) in the Charlie's Angels movie. No quotes, just a very fond recollection of that crazy dance he did with the red sunglasses.

foxymoron
06-30-2005, 11:56 PM
Paul Reubens in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. His death scene. (Sorry--Nothing very quotable there.)

Merijeek
07-01-2005, 08:15 AM
Edmund Blackadder, particularly from the second series.

-Joe

cmkeller
07-01-2005, 11:14 AM
The jailbird brothers, from Raising Arizona:

"We was released on our own recognizance."
"We decided the institution didn't have anything more to offer us."

GLWasteful
07-01-2005, 11:29 AM
A second for Hans Gruber:

Holly Gennero McClane: After all your posturing, all your speeches, you're nothing but a common thief.

Hans Gruber: I am an exceptional thief, Mrs. McClane. And since I'm moving up to kidnapping, you should be more polite.

Comedic, and totally cool.

Waste

Jayrot
07-01-2005, 12:38 PM
Sorry, I can't resist a few more Mr. Burns quotes!

"I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time until ... Oh, what the hell. I'll just crush him like an ant."

"Yes, I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?"

HelloKitty
07-01-2005, 12:57 PM
Speaking of Pee Wee Herman, how about Francis, the rich nerd who stole Pee-Wee's bike in Pee-Wee's Big Adventure?

Francis: Remember the first time I saw your bike? You came riding past my house and I came running out to tell you how much I liked it even way back then?

Pee-wee: I love that story.

Francis: [ominous voice] You'll be sorry, Pee-wee Herman! [/ominous voice]

Kyla
07-01-2005, 01:07 PM
The Mayor, in Buffy. Someone get me a good quote, I can't think of any and my dumb work firewall won't let me google.

silenus
07-01-2005, 02:05 PM
The Mayor, in Buffy. Someone get me a good quote, I can't think of any and my dumb work firewall won't let me google.

Mayor: "Well. What a day this is. A special day. Today is our centennial. The 100th anniversary of the founding of Sunnydale. And I know what that means to all you kids. . .Not a darn thing."
Buffy: "My god, he's gonna do the entire speech."
Willow: "Man, just ascend already."
Buffy: "Evil."

Mayor Wilkins: "A package is arriving tomorrow night from Central America. Something - and I can't stress this enough - something crucially important to my ascension. Without it... well, what would tollhouse cookies be without the chocolate chips? A pretty darn big disappointment, I can tell you!"

Mayor: "There's more than one way to skin a cat, and I happen to know that's factually true."

Mayor: "I think they could be cleaner."
Aide: "Of course, sir. I mean, I wash them, but..."
Mayor: "After every meal, and under your fingernails. Dirt gets trapped there. And germs. And mayonnaise."

Skywatcher
07-01-2005, 02:22 PM
Q (John de Lancie) in various forms of Star Trek, primarily TNG. "Red alert." "I think I just hurt my back. I'm feeling pain. I don't like it. Uh, what's the right thing to say? 'Ow'?" "Ow, I think."

Push You Down
07-01-2005, 03:04 PM
Paul Reubens in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. His death scene. (Sorry--Nothing very quotable there.)


What? "Kill them a lot." isn't good enough for you?

Push You Down
07-01-2005, 03:16 PM
Let me add.....

Lethal Weapon 2 (you know the one with the evil South Africans)

Main villain like his office clean so before he will shoot someone he has plastic laid on the floor. After his men fail him he is berating them. Right Hand Man Henchman looks down at his feet. Main villain asks "What are you doing?" Henchman's reply "Just making sure I'm not on plastic."

Hey, It's That Guy!
07-01-2005, 03:22 PM
Let me add.....

Lethal Weapon 2 (you know the one with the evil South Africans)

Main villain like his office clean so before he will shoot someone he has plastic laid on the floor. After his men fail him he is berating them. Right Hand Man Henchman looks down at his feet. Main villain asks "What are you doing?" Henchman's reply "Just making sure I'm not on plastic."

Joss Ackland played a great villain in that movie. "Diplomatic immunity, Mr. Riggs!"

Sam Stone
07-01-2005, 03:29 PM
Khan in Star Trek II - The Wrath of Khan.

"He Tasks me! He tasks me, and I shall have him!"

"From hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee!"

Maybe he doesn't count, though, since these are just quotes from Moby Dick

Kyla
07-01-2005, 03:34 PM
Thank you, silenus!

rjung
07-01-2005, 08:11 PM
Yzma, from The Emperor's New Groove.

"Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I'll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives... *laughs* I'll SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER! It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say!"

"Is that my voice? Is that my voice?"

Beware of Doug
07-01-2005, 08:21 PM
Col. Erhardt in "To Be or Not To Be"--both Sig Rumann in the original and Charles Durning in the Mel Brooks version.[list]
"So ,they call me Concentration Camp Erhardt, hmm?"Yeah! (Rumann, eyeing the painting of Hitler over his desk) "I alvays sought zere vas somezing wrong mit a man who didn't drrrrink or smoke!"

Tracy Lord
07-01-2005, 09:06 PM
Although my personal favorite quote from the Mayor is his ruminations on Spike:

"This year is too important to have a loose cannon rocking the boat. ...Is that a mixed metaphor? Boats do have cannons."

ddgryphon
07-02-2005, 07:06 PM
Paul Reubens in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. His death scene. (Sorry--Nothing very quotable there.)


The great quote from that is:

Reubins: I'm like a god, I can do anything.
Buffy: Oh, yeah, clap.

NicePete
07-03-2005, 12:46 AM
From cartoons:

Boris Badenov
Natasha Fatale &
Fearless Leader

Wile E. Coyote

Taz

Plankton

Not from cartoons:

The Knights who say "Ni"
The Black Knight
The French Taunter

Chief Inspector Dreyfus

Vernon Dent (http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0219783/)
Kenneth MacDonald (http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0531810/)

HPL
07-03-2005, 02:27 AM
From a cartoon:

Invader Zim
Gir

Well, technically Gir may not count since it doesn't care about doing evil, but it's still quite funny.

Quartz
07-03-2005, 03:34 AM
Another vote for Alan Rickman

Sir Guy: "But cousin, why a blunt spoon?"
Sheriff: "Because it hurts more"

Fern Forest
07-03-2005, 03:41 AM
Ignignot: Look, these women aren't wearing any clothes and they're not complaining

and


Oglethorpe: No, it is a Fargate, from the makers of "Findependence Day"

Heck except for Meatwad and Frylock you can quote everyone else and it'll fit.

HPL
07-03-2005, 05:03 AM
The Two peasents in "The Hidden Fortress" could arguably be called bad guys, except they are quite stupid and funny.

marque elf
07-03-2005, 05:36 PM
I just watched Neil Gaiman's "Neverwhere" on DVD. On the whole I was disappointed in it but really enjoyed Mr. Croup and Mr. Vandermar. There is something truly chilling about a lunatic who delights in and is delighted by his own evil. Hywel Bennett was wonderful as Mr. Croup. No quotes come to mind however.

marque elf
07-03-2005, 05:44 PM
I just watched Neil Gaiman's "Neverwhere" on DVD. On the whole I was disappointed in it but really enjoyed Mr. Croup and Mr. Vandermar. There is something truly chilling about a lunatic who delights in and is delighted by his own evil. Hywel Bennett was wonderful as Mr. Croup. No quotes come to mind however.

I just remembered a quote:
"What do you wish for you make a wishes?"
Mr. Vandermar (idly cleaning his fingernails with a dagger) "More fingers to break...Oh. And more teeth.'

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