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View Full Version : Anne Rice has found God


ivylass
10-23-2005, 04:38 PM
"I promised," she says, "that from now on I would write only for the Lord." (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9785289/site/newsweek/)

Now, I only read a couple of her books, but I know she had a huge fanbase. I guess no more stories about vampires?

silenus
10-23-2005, 04:41 PM
Umm...yea?

Looks like another Dylan-esque turn to Faith. We are in for some uber-sucky books from her now.

Larry Mudd
10-23-2005, 04:41 PM
Fixed link (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9785289/site/newsweek/).

Wow. I thought her stuff was unbearable before.

Mr. Blue Sky
10-23-2005, 04:44 PM
I guess her sales went down so she decided to jump genres.

Savannah
10-23-2005, 04:44 PM
That link didn't work for me, even after correcting it. Maybe this (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9785289/site/newsweek/) will.

Okay, off to read the story now.

Guinastasia
10-23-2005, 04:59 PM
Umm...yea?

Looks like another Dylan-esque turn to Faith. We are in for some uber-sucky books from her now.


NOW? What was her excuse before?

Linty Fresh
10-23-2005, 05:08 PM
From hassling her own fan-base over fan fic to half-baked political screeds about New Orleans, Anne Rice has always come off to me as a few sandwiches short of a picnic. This just confirms it.

Christ is "the ultimate immortal"? Ummmm, yeah :dubious:

And where did she find Him anyway? In the cellar in the creepy Victorian house under Lestat's coffin?

Guinastasia
10-23-2005, 05:10 PM
From hassling her own fan-base over fan fic to half-baked political screeds about New Orleans, Anne Rice has always come off to me as a few sandwiches short of a picnic. This just confirms it.



You forgot the hissyfits at Amazon whenever someone gives her a less than stellar review.

Tuckerfan
10-23-2005, 05:12 PM
In a related news story astronomers announce that they have discovered something which can suck harder than both a Paris Hilton "event" and a black hole combined!

"We found that not only is it responsible for the celestial object now being referred to as 'The Axis of Evil,' but also the recent storm surge which devestated New Orleans." Said Dr. Tiddles of the IAU. "It turns out to be the latest novel by Anne Rice. We're testing theories now that indicate a large hunk of anti-matter directed towards Ms. Rice will destroy this new object. If not, then the entire universe is doomed."

ivylass
10-23-2005, 05:13 PM
Thanks for fixing the link...I don't know what happened.

levdrakon
10-23-2005, 05:23 PM
Anne Rice can write about a boy who doesn't get sodomized, and secretly enjoy it?

She has changed.

Speaker for the Dead
10-23-2005, 05:30 PM
You know, I could pre-empt you all and get in a wonderful Catholic priest joke here, but I'm not going to, 'cause I'm above that. :D

cosmosdan
10-23-2005, 05:58 PM
I don't know. I envision such number 1 sellers as

Interview with an Apostle

Lestat, The TV Ministry.

Exit from Eden

Cry to Heaven II The art of repentance

The King of the Damed , and how to avoid him

Memnoch the Devil II, JC kicks butt

Tuckerfan
10-23-2005, 06:03 PM
You know, I could pre-empt you all and get in a wonderful Catholic priest joke here, but I'm not going to, 'cause I'm above that. :D
Oh, why start now? ;)

BMax
10-23-2005, 06:37 PM
Yet in the novel's best scene, a dream in which Jesus meets a bewitchingly handsome SatanShe's still Ann Rice. She usually has some homoerotic subplot, especially when there's a boy and a grown man in a story. Who else thinks her new book will have 7 year old JC being molested or at least lusted after by this "bewitchingly handsome Satan"?

Johnny L.A.
10-23-2005, 06:37 PM
'I read this book called Intercourse With The Zombie by Anne Gravy...' -- New Orleans street denizen in Zombie! vs. Mardi Gras

Treviathan
10-23-2005, 07:13 PM
I don't suppose He was behind the coffin the whole time, was he?

Wile E
10-23-2005, 08:00 PM
Just when you think Anne Rice can't get any kookier she goes and proves you wrong.


I stopped reading her halfway through Memnoch The Devil, not sure why it took me so long.

levdrakon
10-23-2005, 09:24 PM
I stopped reading her halfway through Memnoch The Devil, not sure why it took me so long.

That's exactly where I stopped. Later, friends told me lots of people stop there. Just skip it and read the next book. Besides:

She pretty much recaps all the important parts of Memnoch in her following book, The Vampire Armond.

Evil Captor
10-23-2005, 09:38 PM
I'm sure Anne Rice fans are crying "Yaoillujah!"

Diogenes the Cynic
10-23-2005, 09:48 PM
The synopsis of that Jesus book sounds horrible. She certainly doesn't know much about the scholarship. She was well nigh unreadable before, now that she's switching gears to writing religious glurge....[shudder].

ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies
10-23-2005, 10:06 PM
She was much more interesting when her idea of repentance was doomed to be in vain or purely kinky and sexual in origin.

I'm so glad I read the Sleeping Beauty trilogy prior to her embracing Catholocism again. I highly doubt I could at all enjoy reading them for the first time now.

Rainbowthief
10-24-2005, 12:10 AM
You forgot the hissyfits at Amazon whenever someone gives her a less than stellar review.
What did she do, write rebuttals on Amazon whenever a reader trashed her books?

Tuckerfan
10-24-2005, 12:13 AM
What did she do, write rebuttals on Amazon whenever a reader trashed her books?
I believe the correct literary term is "meltdown."

Savannah
10-24-2005, 12:14 AM
What did she do, write rebuttals on Amazon whenever a reader trashed her books?

Very long rebuttals with no paragraph breaks.

She's notorious for not letting editors touch her work.

As a bit of a writer myself, I can vouch for the wisdom of having someone edit your work. Only once has it turned out very badly. Usually it's good to have an objective read-over.

Now Anne can blame bad reviews on Saaatan.

Rainbowthief
10-24-2005, 01:06 AM
Holy cow! Are there any of her books in particular that I should search for at Amazon to find her worst tantrums?

Guinastasia
10-24-2005, 01:15 AM
Someone could probably find it, but basically she tore the reviewers of Blood Canticle a new one for not liking the book, in extremely flowery terms (her 'proletariat soul' and her "Dickensian principles"), and stated that all of them were basically stupid losers, and that if they wanted a refund, to send the books to her, and she'd give it, no questions asked, leaving her address in New Orleans. She insisted she was serious

Problem 1: that address was the one she had just vacated.

Problem 2: people who took her at her word had their packages returned to them.

She's a batshit bitch.

Little Nemo
10-24-2005, 01:18 AM
This is a switch. Usually artists find Jesus and then turn into uncreative hacks.

Loopydude
10-24-2005, 01:21 AM
She's gone from suck to blow!

FlyingRamenMonster
10-24-2005, 05:29 AM
What did she do, write rebuttals on Amazon whenever a reader trashed her books?

Here you go (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Rice).

FriarTed
10-24-2005, 06:14 AM
This has been coming since MEMNOCH and ARMAND- both of which were quite Christ-haunted. And this particular story has been developing for months- apparently soon after her husband Stan died, Anne read a book by a Rev. Howard Storm about dying & going to Hell but being rescued & restored to life by Jesus. It struck Anne as genuine, she talked with him & it gave her hope about her husband's afterlife. So Anne has become actively Christian. She returned to the Catholic Church almost a decade ago anyway. And I doubt she'll change her pro-gay views (but I hope to God she keeps it out of her JC books *L*)

FisherQueen
10-24-2005, 07:07 AM
I can remember the line when I stopped reading Anne Rice. It was "The Witching Hour." The book was generally unsatisfying, but I continued reading, hoping it would get better, until I got to the point where the narrative voice says something along the lines of "Secretly, every woman wants to be raped."

And I said, "Well, FUCK this," and closed the book, and never bothered getting another one.

Orual
10-24-2005, 07:59 AM
That's exactly where I stopped. Later, friends told me lots of people stop there. Just skip it and read the next book. Besides:

She pretty much recaps all the important parts of Memnoch in her following book, The Vampire Armond.

No! Don't steer unsuspecting readers toward The Vampire Armand!

They'll read phrases like "He was not ready for the wet love." and they'll never be able to un-read them.

the narrative voice says something along the lines of "Secretly, every woman wants to be raped."

Another pervasive Anne Rice theme: "Secretly, every boy enjoys being molested. Actually, not so secretly. Here's a 50-page description!"

parthenokinesis
10-24-2005, 08:25 AM
Well, I'm ready for some hot apostle on apostle action.

FlyingRamenMonster
10-24-2005, 08:30 AM
They'll read phrases like "He was not ready for the wet love." and they'll never be able to un-read them.

That was just cruel. I need to go scrub my brain now.

Malacandra
10-24-2005, 08:34 AM
Here you go (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Rice).

Most excellent. I now have this mental picture of a pram with heaps of toys scattered around it in a very wide radius. :D

Maus Magill
10-24-2005, 09:41 AM
"I promised," she says, "that from now on I would write only for the Lord." (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9785289/site/newsweek/)Poor God.

I stopped reading her after either Witching Hour (400+ pages of all exposition and no plot!) or Body Thief (WTF? Just WTF was that I read?) One of those two books was the last straw for me.

Ponder Stibbons
10-24-2005, 11:05 AM
So Anne Rice has found God.

Huh.

So, where was He? I haven't seen Him for ages.

eleanorigby
10-24-2005, 11:10 AM
Hmm. I wonder if she realized that Jesus is the ultimate Editor.





:D



(loathsome woman who cannot write for sh*t--oops, not in IMHO am I?)

Zebra
10-24-2005, 11:31 AM
Anne Riced is only going to write for the Lord.


What? Is she still mad at him for the hurricane?

HPL
10-24-2005, 11:35 AM
Well, I'm ready for some hot apostle on apostle action.

"Okay, boys, Back in the pile!"

HPL
10-24-2005, 11:37 AM
So Anne Rice has found God.

Huh.

So, where was He? I haven't seen Him for ages.

"He's over there. Splinter!"

Wile E
10-24-2005, 08:55 PM
So Anne Rice has found God.

Huh.

So, where was He? I haven't seen Him for ages.

He's usually in the last place you look. ;)

marque elf
10-24-2005, 09:56 PM
I lost one of those recently. You think she'll share?

Whaddaya mean there's only one?

Paranoid Randroid
10-24-2005, 10:15 PM
Poor God.

http://somethingpositive.net/sp10232005.shtml

Orual
10-24-2005, 10:52 PM
That was just cruel. I need to go scrub my brain now.

I did warn you ...





Sorry.

Guinastasia
10-24-2005, 11:28 PM
And I doubt she'll change her pro-gay views (but I hope to God she keeps it out of her JC books *L*)

Considering that her son Christopher is gay, I sure hope she won't change her views!

GrizzRich
10-25-2005, 02:13 AM
Didn't she write the Beauty trilogy under a pseudonym?

Cervaise
10-25-2005, 03:25 AM
"Secretly, every woman wants to be raped."Not, presumably, by Jesus.

Ranchoth
10-25-2005, 04:54 AM
"We found that not only is it responsible for the celestial object now being referred to as 'The Axis of Evil,' but also the recent storm surge which devestated New Orleans." Said Dr. Tiddles of the IAU. "It turns out to be the latest novel by Anne Rice. We're testing theories now that indicate a large hunk of anti-matter directed towards Ms. Rice will destroy this new object. If not, then the entire universe is doomed."

Do we have to pull J.D. Salinger out of seclusion to pilot the suicide probe into Anne's writing room? (That's leaving aside the problem of choosing the cocky, hotshot co-author that the old guy sacrifices himself to save. Did Keanu Reeves ever write anything?)

FriarTed
10-25-2005, 05:16 AM
Considering that her son Christopher is gay, I sure hope she won't change her views!

Yeah- but I was trying to give some comfort to those who might think that since Anne's come to Jesus (and why is this a surprise to anyone who has followed her career for the past few years?), she was gonna suddenly become a C'tian Righty.
I wouldn't mind if she did join us on the Right, but I don't see it happening.

So a shout out to Anne, stay gay-accepting but move away from the pederasty & please keep it out of any JC books!

Corner Case
10-26-2005, 02:45 PM
I heard that she and Madonna were going to collaborate and write children's books.

Diogenes the Cynic
10-26-2005, 02:55 PM
I heard that she and Madonna were going to collaborate and write children's books.
Won't Anne's Christianity conflict with Madonna's fake Judaism?

Sampiro
10-26-2005, 06:51 PM
In a related story, Rice's son Christopher has joined his mother's cause by announcing his next book will focus on a whiny gay boy who is the son of a bestselling vampire novelist turned Christian writer.

Sampiro
10-26-2005, 06:52 PM
Yeah- but I was trying to give some comfort to those who might think that since Anne's come to Jesus

I'm guessing she'll be with him only until Jesus gets that restraining order renewed.

JRDelirious
10-26-2005, 07:51 PM
The synopsis of that Jesus book sounds horrible. She certainly doesn't know much about the scholarship.
Well, ignorance in the field of protochristian scholarship certainly didn't stop Dan Brown. Or hurt his sales (though it did hurt my brain, when I tried to read his book -- too much ignorance to ignore). But hey, whatever -- Rice's work had started sucking other things than blood years ago.

At least there is a silver lining if she reverted to Catholic, rather than going the evang/fundie route. I mean, Ultraorthodox Catholic Mel Gibson was able to channel it into the kind of dark, violent, uncomfortably-undertoned bloodletting the masses just live for... ;)

Dr. Rieux
10-26-2005, 11:18 PM
Anne Rice has found God

This is the first time I've ever felt sorry for God.
:D

Bob Loblaw
10-27-2005, 01:19 AM
I get so astonished in this florid and humid .... oh shit, I'm starting to channel the old Anne Rice.

Agent Foxtrot
10-27-2005, 01:53 AM
Anne Rice can write about a boy who doesn't get sodomized, and secretly enjoy it?Sounds like one of those philosophical parodoxes, like "Can God make a stone so big even He can't lift it?"

Adam

HPL
10-27-2005, 11:33 AM
Sounds like one of those philosophical parodoxes, like "Can God make a stone so big even He can't lift it?"

Adam

I still like the one about Jesus and the Burrito better.

Sampiro
10-27-2005, 12:12 PM
I love this comment on her "research": She also watched every Biblical movie she could find, from "The Robe" to "The Passion of the Christ" ("I loved it"). And she dipped into previous novels, from "Quo Vadis" to Norman Mailer's "The Gospel According to the Son" to Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins's apocalyptic Left Behind series.

Yeah... cause Ben Hur's really gonna clue you in to how folks actually lived...

Shirley Ujest
10-27-2005, 12:19 PM
She's not a Christian.


She's a Papist.



C'mon peoples, get it straight.



Could be worse, she could have turned to Scientology.

Tuckerfan
10-27-2005, 10:29 PM
Could be worse, she could have turned to Scientology.So we'd have two nutbags jumping up on couches and saying crazy shit, causing people to mock $cientology even more? I'm not seeing the down side here.

JRDelirious
10-27-2005, 11:17 PM
So we'd have two nutbags jumping up on couches and saying crazy shit, causing people to mock $cientology even more? I'm not seeing the down side here.
Think Battlefield Earth, with a screenplay adaptation by Anne Rice.
Or rather, try not to think about that.

Maus Magill
10-28-2005, 08:18 AM
Think Battlefield Earth, with a screenplay adaptation by Anne Rice.
Or rather, try not to think about that.
Too late.

BRANE HURTS

BrainGlutton
10-28-2005, 09:08 AM
Well, I'm ready for some hot apostle on apostle action.

Oh, Paul the Apostle
Possessed an Epistle
So truly colossal
It made the girls whistle!

-- Handelsman

BrainGlutton
10-28-2005, 09:14 AM
Rice's most daring move, though, is to try to get inside the head of a 7-year-old kid who's intermittently aware that he's also God Almighty.

What challenge? Every 7-year-old knows they're God!

BrainGlutton
10-28-2005, 09:20 AM
So a shout out to Anne, stay gay-accepting but move away from the pederasty & please keep it out of any JC books!

In the first one, sure . . . but I can't wait to see what she does with grown-up JC and the "Beloved Disciple"! :D

Catamount
10-28-2005, 09:25 AM
[QUOTE=Orual]No! Don't steer unsuspecting readers toward The Vampire Armand!

They'll read phrases like "He was not ready for the wet love." and they'll never be able to un-read them.
[QUOTE]

:eek:
That is the funniest line ever in print. I need to frame that. :D

Malacandra
10-28-2005, 10:04 AM
Won't Anne's Christianity conflict with Madonna's fake Judaism?

Isn't Madge a Kabbalahist or whatever the term is? I thought that only passed for Judaism in the dark, with the light behind it.

Guinastasia
10-28-2005, 03:17 PM
Isn't Madge a Kabbalahist or whatever the term is? I thought that only passed for Judaism in the dark, with the light behind it.


Hence the "fake" Judaism.

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