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Tim from Sylmar
10-26-2006, 01:27 AM
A few years ago I read an otherwise forgettable novel in which the
author mentioned "The 33 substances that come out of the human body".
After many hours of cogitation and list-making, I could only come up
with 24. Perhaps I'm more stringent than the above-mentioned author.
On the one hand, I feel that changing a name does not alter the
substance - snot, phlegm, and mucous are, in fact, all the same
thing. And on the other hand, I think listing items like slivers,
bullets, and toejam is just cheating.

Here is my list: 1) hair, 2) skin, 3) perspiration, 4) sebum, 5) earwax, 6) tears, 7) mucous, 8) blood, 9) vomit, 10) carbon dioxide, 11) teeth, 12) saliva, 13) breast milk, 14) fingernails, 15) urine, 16) feces, 17) methane gas, 18) menses, 19) smegma, 20) infant human beings, 21) placenta, 22) amniotic fluid, 23) pus, 24) that gold, transparent fluid that dries out to become a scab.

That leaves me 7 short. What am I forgetting?

Happy Lendervedder
10-26-2006, 01:39 AM
25. Semen
26. Vaginal lubricant

treis
10-26-2006, 02:00 AM
27. Eyelashes
28. That hard stuff that ends up in the corner of your eyes.

Tim from Sylmar
10-26-2006, 02:20 AM
27. Eyelashes
28. That hard stuff that ends up in the corner of your eyes.

Eyelashes are hair. And I think those hard things (known in my youth as "sleepers") may well be mucous hardened into little bitty eye boogers. But I'm not sure.

Bearflag70
10-26-2006, 02:23 AM
sperm & egg ?

xiix
10-26-2006, 02:29 AM
lies.

marshmallow
10-26-2006, 02:41 AM
Perhaps I could make the case for all the fun things that come out of the womb during birth? Let's see, there's the amniotic fluid, the placenta/umbilical cord, and the amniotic sac itself. That's four right there.

If you wanted to be a splitter you could divide a lot of these substances into many different components -- blood, for instance, is plasma and all the blood cells. Semen is a lot of different liquids mixed together with the sperm, etc. But I suppose that's cheating, and it could get kinda silly...

iano
10-26-2006, 02:59 AM
Would you call kidney stones "urine"?

Rigamarole
10-26-2006, 03:04 AM
Perhaps I could make the case for all the fun things that come out of the womb during birth? Let's see, there's the amniotic fluid, the placenta/umbilical cord, and the amniotic sac itself. That's four right there.

Mentioned - check the OP (although the amniotic sac may or may not count as something seperate).

Sometimes things come out of the body that aren't necessarily supposed to, like organs. The appendix deserves honorable mention though.

marshmallow
10-26-2006, 03:23 AM
Ugh, I swore I read the OP. I think that means it's bed time...

chowder
10-26-2006, 06:06 AM
Contact lenses :D
Boogers

Alive At Both Ends
10-26-2006, 07:48 AM
"The 33 substances that come out of the human body". <snip>
Here is my list: 1) hair, 2) skin, 3) perspiration, 4) sebum, 5) earwax, 6) tears, 7) mucous, 8) blood, 9) vomit, 10) carbon dioxide, 11) teeth, 12) saliva, 13) breast milk, 14) fingernails, 15) urine, 16) feces, 17) methane gas, 18) menses, 19) smegma, 20) infant human beings, 21) placenta, 22) amniotic fluid, 23) pus, 24) that gold, transparent fluid that dries out to become a scab.
I'm pretty sure "infant human beings" can't be described as a "substance". Things like teeth and fingernails seem a bit doubtful as well.

pudytat72
10-26-2006, 08:06 AM
viruses and bacteria?

jjimm
10-26-2006, 08:06 AM
You can separate out the mucouses. Anal mucous is rather different to snot.

Fear Itself
10-26-2006, 09:27 AM
If you are going to differentiate between all the gases (carbon dioxide & methane), you might as well include hydrogen sulfide, which (among others) puts the aroma in farts.

FordPrefect
10-26-2006, 09:29 AM
methane? or is that just me and the bovine? :)

Annie-Xmas
10-26-2006, 09:31 AM
Would "vomit" cover stomach acid? Cause somethings you just choke up acid.

"Menses" is actually blood and uterine tissue.

Beware of Doug
10-26-2006, 09:36 AM
Meconium (http://ak.essortment.com/whatismeconium_rhmq.htm), baby's first poo. No shit :D!

Annie-Xmas
10-26-2006, 09:40 AM
In the case of tears, water and salt.

flight
10-26-2006, 10:06 AM
In the case of tears, water and salt.
But if you do that then you can't include sweat, because it is already covered.

Max Torque
10-26-2006, 10:14 AM
No love for "bile"?

Kalhoun
10-26-2006, 10:18 AM
My SIL was bloated with fluid due to a failing liver. The fluid would actually seep out of her skin. What's that called? Has it been covered?

KP
10-26-2006, 10:45 AM
That "gold fluid that dries to become a scab" is essentially plasma. But that's not how scabs form. In crude terms, scabs form when blood platelets burst, and (after a series of reactions) the fibrinogen in them produces a net of fibrin. As blood flows through the fibrin, mmost of the cells (the larger onces anyway, get caught in that net, and form the scab. The fibrin acts like a filter; the scab is a dried, oxidized, completely clogged filter; and the plasma and a few cells (including more platelets leak through) to dry and harden on top of what will become the mature scab.

Other external bodily fluids included colostrum [as distinct from breast milk as some of the other secretions listed), the secretions of Skene's[arguably prostate in men] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skene%27s_gland), Bartholin [Cowper's in men] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bartholin_glands) and natural primary vaginal lubrication (which is not the product of a gland, despite what some sources still imply). I could have listed the male equivalent primarily (there is less controversy about their nature and composition) but I like women. A lot. Prostatic fluid is quite distinct from semen, e.g. vasectomized men emit one but not the other.

Sorry, for the technical bent, but it was starting to look like these weren't going to get listed, and we'd end up in an almost medieval medical debate on classes of snot instead. I won't spoil the fun by listing other obscure secretions.

spingears
10-26-2006, 11:16 AM
pus, 24) that gold, transparent fluid that dries out to become a scab. Properly called blood serum, may contain some Erythrocyte (red blood cells), neutrophil polymorphs, Eosinophil cells, macrophages, polymorphonuclear leucocytes, etc.That leaves me 7 short. What am I forgetting? Maybe a microbiologist can get this all straitened out to find the correct seven.

chowder
10-26-2006, 11:36 AM
Undigested food.....sweetcorn for example

KP
10-26-2006, 11:54 AM
Properly called blood serum, may contain some Erythrocyte (red blood cells), neutrophil polymorphs, Eosinophil cells, macrophages, polymorphonuclear leucocytes, etc. Maybe a microbiologist can get this all straitened out to find the correct seven.

I scratched my head over this for a while. FWIW, a microbiologist studies microorganisms -- bacteria and the like. As a (former) molecular biologist, I'd say that we'd probably list closer to 3300 substances than 33. I think we need to page a histologist/anatomist. (I appen to have one down the hall at the moment, but he was no help at all, the fuddy-duddy) A forensic pathologist [paging gabriela] might be a good choice, too

In the end, even another author of throughly forgettable novels is unlikely to replicate the arbitrary list concocted by this novelist. Not that it isn't fun to try.

WhyNot
10-26-2006, 12:04 PM
Have we covered cervical mucus yet? There's several very distinct types, none of which are signs of infection - as commonly mistaken by the women experiencing them - or of arousal - as commonly mistaken by men who think foreplay's over!

There's creamy, sticky, stretchy, white, clear, swirled, lotiony, watery, straight smearing and circular spreading. There's one kind that makes fantastic crystaline shapes under the microscope. Every single woman may have some or all of the different types during different point of her cycle.

Bippy the Beardless
10-26-2006, 12:05 PM
No love for "bile"?
or for pre-ejaculate.

If we include dead human bodies, I'm sure Gabrielle could supply us with a colourful list of other substance.
<we need that pukey smiley>

Dr_Paprika
10-26-2006, 01:46 PM
Lymph, oxygen, nitrogen, carbon monoxide, heat, semen, B.O., B.B.O

If you are including pathology: hernia, belly button lint, fat, fascia, bone, muscle, tendon, ligament, sebum, pus (already given credit), bezoars, bile, gallstone, kidney stone, tumour, melanoma, keratoses, etc.

muldoonthief
10-26-2006, 01:46 PM
Assuming you're referring to The Golden Globe (http://www.varley.net/Pages/Books/Golden_Globe.htm) by John Varley, the originators of the list, Sparky and Polly, specifically stated that snot and boogers are two different substances. Remember to approach the list from the point of view of 2 precocious 10 year olds.

As you may able to tell from my post, I take issue with your description of the novel as "forgettable". How can you forget the Charonese Mafia?

The Scrivener
10-26-2006, 02:23 PM
The way it's phrased ("...out of a human body"), technically, this list should really be divided into male and female divisions, since no one person can produce 'em all.

Can nasal phlegm be distinguished from pulmonary phlegm?

Also, tonsiliths and salivary-gland squirts (when you yawn and curl your tongue upwards -- it's basically spit, but presumably a lot cleaner, with less bacteria, etc.)

And does no one else dare mention female G-spot ejaculate?

Chronos
10-26-2006, 03:08 PM
And does no one else dare mention female G-spot ejaculate?I think that's the secretion of Skene's gland, mentioned by KP.

While we're at it, KP, if vaginal lubrication isn't produced by a gland, what is it produced by?

And we can probably split out several different kinds of pus, as well. For starters, there's the watery pus which fills a burn or abrasion blister, and then there's the thick, pasty pus which squeezes out of pimples and infected hangnails. And the latter probably has a few sub-categories: Pimple pus might be different from hangnail pus (I'm not completely certain on that score), and I've seen both in various colors (even including green hangnail pus).

OneCentStamp
10-26-2006, 04:13 PM
My SIL was bloated with fluid due to a failing liver. The fluid would actually seep out of her skin. What's that called? Has it been covered?
Is it bilirubin, the by-product of red blood cell breakdown that's normally eliminated by the liver, and produces the yellowness of jaundice in those with compromised liver function?

Annie-Xmas
10-26-2006, 04:37 PM
That waxy stuff that comes out when you squeeze a blackhead.

bughunter
10-26-2006, 07:47 PM
That waxy stuff that comes out when you squeeze a blackhead.Sebum.

if vaginal lubrication isn't produced by a gland, what is it produced by?More sebum, but I thought you knew that.

Actually, aren't there four kinds of sebum? Or, more specifically, four consistencies?

I think the OP's 4, 5, and 19 are all covered by sebum, the magical emollient. Your life would be miserable without sebum.

How about pinworms?

PS - if the list was originally generated by children, I think cooties would be on it, too.

Kalhoun
10-26-2006, 08:08 PM
Is it bilirubin, the by-product of red blood cell breakdown that's normally eliminated by the liver, and produces the yellowness of jaundice in those with compromised liver function?
That really sounds like it. It was yellow...almost like Gatorade. And when they removed the big bottle that was collecting it, it squirted out like someone removed their thumb from the opening of the hose.

gabriela
10-26-2006, 09:32 PM
Preface this by saying I have never anywhere encountered the idea that there are 33 substances that exude from the human body. Ever. No such number accepted by any authority known to medicine. Pure poetry. Not community standard.

So the novelist made it up out of his own head, and who knows whether our creative Doper community is going to hit on the same 33 substances. I like KP’s remark that molecular biology could find 3300 substances more easily. Or 3200, or 4,169. No reason for the number to be 33. None at all.

On preview I see that our clever muldoonthief has found the novel – muldoonthief, do you want to tell our OP what substances he has wrong and what substances he is missing?

I also like alive at both end’s comment on what are we calling a “substance”. Is it something you can give an Avogadro’s number to, something you can describe molecularly – like salt – or cholesterol? Is it something a layman has a word for because we experience it – like spit? Is it something that isn’t mingled with something else – are streaks of blood in your urine two substances or one?

To show how difficult this is to parse, one of the classic medical dangers of vomiting too much is hypochloremia and metabolic alkalosis, because you lose so much HCl when you vomit repeatedly that you run out of chloride and acid. And hydrogen chloride could be given an Avogadro’s number; you can specify a mole of HCl from your chemistry supply house. So is chloride a substance that you lose when you vomit, along with water, acid, mucus, and undigested food, making five substances? Or is vomit one substance?

Why, it depends on your definition of “substance”, doesn’t it? And I hope it’s clear that your definition of “substance” is “what you feel like calling a substance”, which means it is unique to your schema of the world.

This is basically to say that the OP is merely poetic, makes no sense, and can be answered in any poetic terms available. Which means no arguments are needed over whether anal mucus counts as a separate substance. It does if we feel like saying it does.

Now to wade happily into the poetics as if I were serious about all this, which is one of my favorite pastimes. We need to bring a little order to this substance-listing. We could take the mediaeval humors, and go with which substances remind us of earth, air, fire, and water, striving to get eight in each, with a final magical 33rd substance which wasn’t any of the above (infants would be good). But I’d rather go prosaically by body part. And I’m not going to separate the gases in the air.

Starting with normal healthy people, a stipulation I feel you ought to have made before you started counting the golden crust you get on scraped skin:

Head
Scalp – hair, dandruff, oil (sebum)
Eyes – tears, dried crusts from the early morning
Nose – blood, boogers, mucus
Mouth – spit, vomit (includes bile as a separate substance that you can vomit up so this is 2), exhaled air, baby (deciduous) teeth, cells from the lining of the cheek (mucous membrane) or tongue (squamous epithelium) – trust me, these are 2; but I am not counting undigested food from the gastric pouch as a substance separate from vomit
Ears – wax

So the count from the head is 15. And yes, the dried crusts from the eyes are different from mucus you produce in your nose. Although boogers are dried mucus, so it’s up to you whether a booger is a separate “substance” or not.

Neck See Skin

Torso
Skin – Desquamated cells (you’ll see them on your towel sometimes), sweat, fine hairs
Armpits – Odor, waxy substance different from watery sweat, hair
Nipples – Milk
So the count from the torso is 5. I am ignoring the armpit, velar, and pubic hairs because the OP wants all hairs counted under scalp hair, including eyelashes.

Extremities – Fingernails and toenails
The count from the extremities is 2.

Female genitalia and surroundings (pudenda and anus)
Menstrual blood containing shed endometrium, vaginal secretions, cervical gland secretions (such as we see in Nabothian cysts; yes they are quite different from vaginal secretions), urine, non-implanted ova, secretions of the Bartholin glands (thanks KP), secretions of the Skene’s glands (thanks Chronos and KP), placenta with membranes (I’d count the cord as part of the baby), amniotic fluid (the “water” that breaks hours before the child is born), feces, meconium (thank you Beware of Doug) which is really different from feces – for one thing, it contains no bacteria and is odorless and non-infectious – it’s just desquamated colonic mucosal cells and amniotic squames
Male genitalia and surroundings
Semen, smegma, prostatic secretions, seminal vesicle secretions, Cowpers’ gland secretions; also urine and feces; farts

So the count from the pudenda is 15.
We’re up to 38.

Now we pass to people who are unhealthy.

Head
In people who have had their cribriform plates fractured by a blow to the head – Cerebrospinal fluid rhinorrhea (this really happens and is a very bad thing with which to present to the emergency room)
Virus-infected clear fluid pouring from the sinuses
Pus from the sinuses or middle ears or Eustachian tubes
Lungers from persons with chronic bronchitis
Curschmann’s spirals of inspissated degranulated eosinophils (http://pathhsw5m54.ucsf.edu/case17/curschmann's.html) from persons with asthma
Infected cells mixed with secretions from the tonsils, tongue, salivary glands, or Waldeyer’s ring during bacterial infections (see this thread)
Slurry of tumor cells from persons with oral cancer
Infected teeth that fall out because of dental caries, or are pulled by a dentist; healthy teeth that are knocked out by trauma (count both under adult or non-deciduous teeth)

Neck
Secretions from a leaking thyroglossal duct cyst or other branchial arch remnant (ask irishgirl)
Mucus from a chronic tracheostomy

Torso
Skin – blood; serum – golden dried crusts that form over an abrasion (see KP’s explanation for more detail); different type of serous fluid that forms in blisters in second-degree burns; desquamation of intact epithelium in Stevens-Johnson syndrome; desquamation of only keratinized layers in certain skin diseases; tumor cells from basal cell or squamous cell carcinomas; non-purulent inspissated secretions from pimples (whitehead or blackhead); sebum from sebaceous cysts; abnormal sweat from persons with cystic fibrosis; urea from sweat from persons in renal failure
Deeper than skin – stomach acid or small bowel contents from an intestinal fistula
Ascites – what would leak out of Kalhoun’s relative

Extremities – Trace evidence such as skin scrapings (from the homicidal assailant) under fingernails
Sequestra (dead bone fragments filled with pus) coming to the surface in open chronically infected comminuted fractures

Pudenda and anus – miscarriages; bloody colonic mucus that pours in copious quantities from people with Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis; amebas and worms in people who are infected with them; diarrheal feces (watery fluid with very little fecal matter in it with a different salt and water composition from mucus or other secretions); kidney stones (thank you iano), particularly those in people with cystinuria or ethylene glycol poisoning, so there is nothing in the stone which is a constituent of normal urine

And from dead decomposing people:
Purge fluid
Blister fluid
Entire scalp from slippage (could also be seen in non-decomposed people after a knife attack)
Skin including hand-and-fingernail “degloving”
Complex methane and putrescine related gases
Dangerous bacteria in liquefied tissues
Adipocere


This short off-the-top-of-my-head list gives us an additional 36. I’m sure irishgirl or Qadgop the Mercotan could come up with many many more if somebody would bring pie as a reward.

Tim from Sylmar, which 33 would you like to pick out?

Gabriela
pluming herself

Beware of Doug
10-26-2006, 10:03 PM
Have we covered cervical mucus yet? There's several very distinct types [...] Every single woman may have some or all of the different types during different point of her cycle.But after she's married, it's just the same damn thing night after night after night... :rolleyes:

Cervaise
10-26-2006, 11:39 PM
which 33 would you like to pick out?I'll have a Rolling Rock.

Chronos
10-26-2006, 11:50 PM
Did anyone else notice that gabriela listed "farts" as a distinctively male secretion?

And bughunter, I didn't actually know that vaginal lubrication was a type of sebum, but that still doesn't answer the question: Isn't sebum produced by glands?

Tim from Sylmar
10-27-2006, 12:46 AM
Assuming you're referring to The Golden Globe (http://www.varley.net/Pages/Books/Golden_Globe.htm) by John Varley, the originators of the list, Sparky and Polly, specifically stated that snot and boogers are two different substances. Remember to approach the list from the point of view of 2 precocious 10 year olds.

As you may able to tell from my post, I take issue with your description of the novel as "forgettable". How can you forget the Charonese Mafia?

That's the name of that novel! But if I remember correctly, weren't Sparky and Polly actually 30 or 40 but being kept physically 10 years old by medical technology for the good of a long-running trans-planetary TV show? Yeah, the Charonese Mafia were cool, but the whole killing my father thing ran thin for me.

muldoonthief
10-27-2006, 10:07 AM
On preview I see that our clever muldoonthief has found the novel – muldoonthief, do you want to tell our OP what substances he has wrong and what substances he is missing?


In the novel, the two kids are actually setting up a contest, where watchers of their show have to come up with their own list of 33 substances. Like:

"Hey kids! Can YOU come up with 33 substances that come out of the human body? Here's a hint - babies don't count, but snot and boogers are two different things! The winner gets a walk on part on an upcoming episode of Sparky and his Gang!!! Send your completed list to Room 25, Corridor 6, King City Studios, Luna."

The novel itself lists only 10 or so - I'll have to check it tonight.

That's the name of that novel! But if I remember correctly, weren't Sparky and Polly actually 30 or 40 but being kept physically 10 years old by medical technology for the good of a long-running trans-planetary TV show? Yeah, the Charonese Mafia were cool, but the whole killing my father thing ran thin for me.

By the end of the show, they were in their 20's or maybe early 30's, but still looked like 8 year olds. But they were making the list very early on in the show's run, before Sparky has wrested control & ownership of the show away from Peppy, so he was still around 10. Mind, he was a 10 year old who had memorized all of Shakespeare's plays, so he wasn't quite your average child.

BTW, I'm sure John Varley would be amused this is still being debated 15 years later by a bunch of adults, including some physicians and a forensic pathologist (that's what you are, aren't you gabriela? If I got that wrong, no offense intended, and my sincere apologies). I've emailed him a link to the thread.

chowder
10-27-2006, 10:25 AM
Well after I've come into a human body I then come out of it.

Does that count?

OneCentStamp
10-27-2006, 11:00 AM
This short off-the-top-of-my-head list gives us an additional 36. I’m sure irishgirl or Qadgop the Mercotan could come up with many many more if somebody would bring pie as a reward.
Pie?!? Who can think of pie at a time like this. *hurk* :eek:

HMS Irruncible
10-27-2006, 11:18 AM
In the novel, the two kids are actually setting up a contest, where watchers of their show have to come up with their own list of 33 substances. Like:

"Hey kids! Can YOU come up with 33 substances that come out of the human body? Here's a hint - babies don't count, but snot and boogers are two different things! The winner gets a walk on part on an upcoming episode of Sparky and his Gang!!! Send your completed list to Room 25, Corridor 6, King City Studios, Luna."

The novel itself lists only 10 or so - I'll have to check it tonight.

It's worth noting that it just says 33 substances, not THE 33 substances. I think the point is just to come up with a matching list of 33, an exercise akin to counting the beans in a jelly-bean jar.

muldoonthief
10-27-2006, 11:26 AM
It's worth noting that it just says 33 substances, not THE 33 substances. I think the point is just to come up with a matching list of 33, an exercise akin to counting the beans in a jelly-bean jar.

Don't go by my "quote" - it's purely from memory. I'll post the actual text from the novel tonight.

RumMunkey
10-27-2006, 12:19 PM
33 substances that come out of a human body

How about OTHER human bodies?

muldoonthief
10-27-2006, 05:27 PM
Well, I've got the book in front of me now, and it's actually 36 things.

Here's some quotes:

"No, really," Sparky says. "We've made a list of thirty-five things that can come out of the human body. Without, you know, surgery."

"Only it may be thirty-six," Polly says.

"If boogers and snot are different things. See, we decided plaque, tartar, and calculus are different. But toenails and fingernails are the same."

"We're not counting babies," Polly adds. "And eight of the things are different kinds of hair."

"There wasn't a very good definition of snot in the dictionary."

"Or boogers."


A few pages later:

CONTEST!!!

Hey gang! Can you think of 36 things that come out of the human body? That's how many things Sparky and Polly used when they created Armageddon Angry, the newest kid on Sparky and His Gang! Well, if you can, have we got a contest for you! Sparky and Polly want to treat you to a seven-day, all-expenses-paid stay at Dreamland! Your parents, too, and your whole family! While you're at Dreamland you'll have breakfast with Sparky and Polly and some surprise guests! You'll rida all the coolest new rides! To enter, simply write the 36 things on an official entry form.

We'll even give you two hints!

1. One of the things is EARWAX!

2. Babies are not one of the things!

Send your entry form along with a box top from SUGAR SPARKLERS, "The Cereal Sparky Eats!" to "Sparky, Sentry/Sensational Studios, Mare Vaporum, Luna."


The premise is that Sparky takes the 36 things, and in his lab creates his new friend, Armageddon Angry. Something goes wrong though, and Angry doesn't have a soul.

It's a great book.

Duke of Rat
10-27-2006, 05:41 PM
What about acetone? I swear I heard that people with certain disorders (maybe even as common as diabetes) produce acetone in their breath.

gabriela
10-28-2006, 06:54 AM
So grateful you dug that out, muldoonthief - now we see it's 36, not 33. And I totally forgot plaque, tartar, and calculus. And we see there that babies don't count.

Which means chowder's funny line doesn't count either. But he knew that when he posted it.

A quick nod to muldoonthief, Chronos, and OneCentStamp - Yes, I am a forensic pathologist. Chronos, of course only men fart. Medical fact. Ask someone expert who should know like - like - like elfbabe. Yeah.

And OneCentStamp, I'm disappointed in you. I could make pie while holding that discussion. Heck, I've had an in-depth discussion of local Chinese food places over a partly dissected body.

Who wants to come over for take-out Chinese and pie? Let's think of 36 substances that can go into a human body!

WhyNot
10-28-2006, 10:13 AM
Who wants to come over for take-out Chinese and pie? Let's think of 36 substances that can go into a human body!
Me! Me! Me! I've never been so squicked out by a discussion that I couldn't eat. I just don't get that.

Let's see, there's take-out Chinese, pie, apple cider, cheese, eardrops, eyedrops, syrup of ipecac, anal probes and Chowder! Who's got another? :D

chowder
10-28-2006, 11:53 AM
So grateful you dug that out, muldoonthief - now we see it's 36, not 33. And I totally forgot plaque, tartar, and calculus. And we see there that babies don't count.

Which means chowder's funny line doesn't count either. But he knew that when he posted it.

A quick nod to muldoonthief, Chronos, and OneCentStamp - Yes, I am a forensic pathologist. Chronos, of course only men fart. Medical fact. Ask someone expert who should know like - like - like elfbabe. Yeah.

And OneCentStamp, I'm disappointed in you. I could make pie while holding that discussion. Heck, I've had an in-depth discussion of local Chinese food places over a partly dissected body.

Who wants to come over for take-out Chinese and pie? Let's think of 36 substances that can go into a human body!

Excuse me, I was perfectly serious, I Do come out of a human body, female I hasten to add.

For shame sir, for shame, thinking I was extracting the urine :dubious:

jvarley
10-29-2006, 07:58 PM
I thought I had lost the list, but I found it. I see there can be endless debate, as in "Are boogers and snot the same thing?" and the natures of various puses, hairs, and secretions, but this is Sparky's definitive list:

1. Head hair
2. Dandruff
3. Eyebrows
4. Tears
5. Sleepy dust
6. Eyelashes
7. Boogers
8. Snot
9. Blood
10. Spit
11. Teeth
12. Vomit
13. Earwax
14 Stuff inside zits
15. Stuff inside blackheads
16. Lungers
17. Bad breath
18. Sweat
19. Milk
20. Bellybutton lint
21. Fingernails
22. Farts
23. Poop
24. Pee
25. Jizz
26. Penis cheese
27. Period blood
28. That slick stuff when you've been hard a long time
29. Vaginal slick stuff
30. Placenta
31. When your water breaks
32. Toenails
33. Toe jam

I thought I was nuts when I was making this list while writing the book. Nice to see there's other nuts out there.

chowder
10-30-2006, 02:08 AM
jvarley....and ME!!!

Do pay attention

chowder
10-30-2006, 02:12 AM
On a more serious note.

34. Heat
35. Sugar
36. Salt
37. Babies
38. Undigested food

muldoonthief
10-30-2006, 10:28 AM
For those who may be unaware - jvarley above is John Varley, the author of the book in question. I emailed him last week with a link to this thread.

WhyNot
10-30-2006, 10:36 AM
Oh, sure, he comes in here like some kind of quote-unquote expert or something, just because he wrote the book! :D

muldoonthief, do you feel a little like Woody Allen in line for a movie now?

jvarley, I hope you stick around and peruse the rest of the board. We have captivating discussions like this all the time!

chela
10-30-2006, 11:06 AM
snip hernia, belly button lint, fat, fascia, bone, muscle, tendon, ligament, sebum, pus (already given credit), bezoars, bile, gallstone, kidney stone, tumour, melanoma, keratoses, etc. /snip

Its the thiry three that must be in witchies brew!

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