PDA

View Full Version : Pick a team of fictional characters to save the world


Oakminster
09-06-2009, 11:30 PM
OK, folks, this is it. The ultimate yet unspecified threat to the very survival of the planet, and more importantly, the conclusion of the SEC football schedule, has reared its ugly head. You are our last best hope for victory, but you are not alone.
You have five (5) Mystic Orbs of Summoning (TM, patent pending, all rights reserved) that you may use to assemble a team of heroes to save us all. You, and you alone, control the Orbs, and you may use them at your own discretion, subject to the following restrictions:

1. You may only summon fictional characters, who will arrive with their powers and abilities as described in the fictional universe they call home.

2. Gods, and functional equivalents thereof, are not subject to the power of the Orbs. This includes the Q.

3. You may summon one, and only one, character from any particular fictional universe.

Note that the threat is unspecified. It may or may not involve military, magical, temporal, mental, physical, psychological, chemical, biological, technological, or other challenges. Your team should be well rounded enough to face any challenge. You should also consider the personalities involved, and their ability/willingness to work in a team.

Who do you choose, and why?

Kamino Neko
09-07-2009, 12:18 AM
1) Post-Crisis, Pre-Zero Hour Mon-El (DC comics) - all the power of a pre-Crisis Kryptonian, no inconvenient weaknesses (save a vulnerability to magic, but that's easily shored up by teammates). Also the first (and least obnoxious) person to rewrite the timeline with a single punch.
2) Merlin the Magician (take your pick which one - go with Merlin, if we're not restricted to within the timeline of the fiction itself) - mostly there just to shore up Mon-El (and the rest of the team) on the magical front.
3) Starscream, G1 universe (Transformers) - Literally unkillable - though not indestructible - and with the ability to possess other beings (only shown 3 times that I can think of offhand, and one of which resulted in his utter humiliation, but still, a useful power). His penchant for treachery could be a problem, but while his Spark can't be destroyed, if the other indestructible Spark we know of can be taken as a guide (it's possible it can't - Screamer's a mutation, whereas Rampage was a deliberate creation), he can be...coerced. Through torture, to be sure, but, hey, this is the fate of the world, we're talking. Merlin could probably be useful here, too.
4) The Doctor (Doctor Who) - He's really quite clever. And time travel is never to be sniffed at in these situations.
5) Sherlock Holmes (er...you know where he's from, yes?) - Someone needs to figure out what the hell is going on that we need to save the world from, after all.

Larry Borgia
09-07-2009, 12:54 AM
Dr Manhattan. Hopefully doesn't count as a god. Is an explanation really necessary?

Reed Richards. Good at superscience. Stretchy ability might come in handy.

Willow Rosenberg at end of season 5. Magical abilities at peak, but not yet insane.

River Tam. Able to defeat dozens of rage zombies with bare hands. Also psychic. Also may help provide Dr Manhattan with motivation to help humans. (She's a sexy girl many years his junior.)

Gamera. Motivated to help Japanese children, who would perish if the planet was destroyed. If threat is human sized will step on it. Otherwise can function as counterweapon to invading armies.

magellan01
09-07-2009, 12:55 AM
1) That little kid from Heroes that can "talk" to machines. He could eavesdrop or fuck with their equipment royally.
2) Superman. Strength. Speed. And the ability to spin the world in reverse to turn back time in case we screw up.
3) Batman. Good knowledge of the latest technologies.
4) Neo. Technology. And those kick ass slow-motion spin moves to evade ammo.
5) I'm stealing this one, but how can I not go with Merlin? If Superman can't bring something down, maybe 10 billion red ants can.

Der Trihs
09-07-2009, 01:14 AM
Hmmm; personality matters as much as ability. Some of the better picks in terms of power wouldn't bother to save anyone.

1 : The Steel General of Creatures of Light and Darkness. Eternal upholder of the underdog, cyborg, master of temporal fugue ( combat time travel ). And comes with his "horse" Bronze who can cross the universe and break continents. In case some strongarm stuff is required.

2 : Reed Richards for supertech.

3 : The "Brennan-monster" of Protector, a human in Protector form. Superhumanly smart, instinctively devoted to defending humanity. Turning him/it loose on Reed's technology should be interesting.

4 : Teela Brown of the Ringworld novels. Because her psychic luck is good against just about any threat. Just have her hang out at World Defense Headquarters.

5 : Doctor Strange. Just in case it's not a science based threat. Handling supernatural world threatening nasties is his job.

Larry Borgia
09-07-2009, 01:20 AM
I read the OP as saying only one pick per universe. So I don't think you can pick Superman and Batman or Reed Richards and Doctor Strange.

Candyman74
09-07-2009, 01:29 AM
Superman for the physical might.

The Doctor for the brains, technology, and free time and space travel.

James Bond for luck, style, and resourcefulness.

Gandalf for magic and wisdom.

Sherlock Holmes for deductive ability.

Der Trihs
09-07-2009, 01:50 AM
I read the OP as saying only one pick per universe. So I don't think you can pick Superman and Batman or Reed Richards and Doctor Strange.Oops; missed that somehow. Revised list then :

1 : The Steel General of Creatures of Light and Darkness. Eternal upholder of the underdog, cyborg, master of temporal fugue ( combat time travel ). And comes with his "horse" Bronze who can cross the universe and break continents. In case some strongarm stuff is required.

2 : Corwin of Amber. He's fond of Earth, and can just go off into Shadow and get all sorts of interesting things and people if they happen to be needed.

3 : The "Brennan-monster" of Protector, a human in Protector form. Superhumanly smart, instinctively devoted to defending humanity. A chance to study the Steel General's built in tech should give him lots of toys to deal with any enemies.

4 : The Prophet of Mike Resnick's trilogy of the same name; she can see potential futures and choose which one comes to pass. Which can include warheads accidentally exploding, hearts failing, or asteroids impacting planets she doesn't like. Who normally wouldn't bother to try to save Earth, but since her main problem is total alienation from normal humans ( and even animals; she creeps them out ) I'd recommend Corwin bribe her by offering her a trip to a Shadow full of people who like a being like herself.

5 : Doctor Strange. Just in case it's not a science based threat. Handling supernatural world threatening nasties is his job.

magellan01
09-07-2009, 01:53 AM
I read the OP as saying only one pick per universe. So I don't think you can pick Superman and Batman or Reed Richards and Doctor Strange.

I was viewing Gotham and Metropolis as two different universes. Maybe I misunderstood.

Larry Borgia
09-07-2009, 02:00 AM
I was viewing Gotham and Metropolis as two different universes. Maybe I misunderstood.They're all part of the DC Universe. Batman and Superman are both in the Justice League and have teamed up many times.

magellan01
09-07-2009, 02:02 AM
They're all part of the DC Universe. Batman and Superman are both in the Justice League and have teamed up many times.

Good point. Can I trade Batman for Stretchy? (Sorry, but my comics years are well behind me.)

The Second Stone
09-07-2009, 02:11 AM
Gandalf, for wisdom and some magic use. But mostly wisdom. Stuck with a bunch of second graders running about a mine field, he'd figure out how to calm them. Also handy enough with a sword to slay a flame of Udun. Usually has some good weed on hand.

Superman, Kal El, Clark Kent. In the event muscle, speed or just plain kick ass is needed. Sorry Bats, but we don't know what to prepare for.

R2-D2. Won't be able to communicate, but will still be everyone's best bet when all looks hopeless and will be able to hack any computers.

Captain Kirk. We might need a bullshit artist of galactic proportions. Plus, unbeatable in a fight once his shirt is torn.

Dr. Stephen Strange. Unlike Gandalf, willing and able to use truly kick ass magic whether needed or not. Comes complete with an arsenal of wicked magical artifacts. Skilled at hand to hand combat and has better than average first aid skills and can still write prescriptions.

Kamino Neko
09-07-2009, 03:21 AM
Hmm...perhaps I should swap Merlin for Dr Strange as my magic user. It does eliminate the typical Merlin's more enigmatic side (and Merlin-Merlin's current inexperience and naiveté). And ups the sex-quotient, if that'd be useful. (Not that Mon-El, Screamer, and the Doctor (especially Nine and Ten) don't attract their share of wet panties.)

And I need a good looking female to do that for those who wouldn't respond to Strange. She can replace Holmes as his need is kind of obviated by the Doctor, honestly. Hard to come up with a skill-set the other four choices don't actually cover, other than sex appeal for straight guys and lesbians, though.

Ahah! Agatha Heterodyne (Girl Genius)... A slightly different tech niche than the Doctor, and even with the overlap, she's more willing to build something that'll go nuts and kill everything in sight, which could definitely be useful. Plus she'd be good for just confounding the everloving hell out of the enemy when she goes all madgirl.

Mon-El is totally a better choice than Superman, though...the version I chose has all of Superman's powers, but has been given a serum which both eliminates his lead weakness (Daxamites' equivalent to Kryptonite), and his need to absorb yellow sunlight to power his powers...making him Superman Only More So. His post-ZH equivalent, Valor/M'onel is similar, though I'm not sure about the sunlight, thus not choosing him, though he's my favourite version.

So, yeah...new lineup...

Mon-El - sheer power.
Starscream - possession ability and immortality.
The Doctor - tech, time travel, tactics. And detective skills, but that doesn't start with a t, so it's a new sentence.
Dr Strange - magical offence and defence, keeping Screamer on task. And sexing up opponents who respond to men.
Agatha Heterodyne - tech, gross indifference to sentient life, scary and confusing to anyone who isn't Gil Wolfenbach. Looks really hot in Victorian underthings.

Fugazi
09-07-2009, 03:43 AM
Superman - You can't go wrong picking Superman. Nearly indestructible, strength, & speed.
Data from Star Trek. The brains of the outfit plus fighting ability & hard to kill.
Willow from Buffy to cover our magical needs. Heck, she had a good showing against a god once.
Pak Brennen, stole this from earlier, but now that he's been mentioned it's hard not to include him. Also with the brains & strength & speed.
Ender Wiggen our leader. Whether it's leading our troops, or leading our fleets, a master of strategy.

Mosier
09-07-2009, 04:18 AM
Thrall from Warcraft3. His first response to meeting a god which was responsible for enslaving his race was to hit it with a fucking hammer. His first response to meeting the god who was the boss of the first god was to tell it to go fuck itself, and zap it with a lightning bolt. Thrall doesn't give a crap who you are or how strong you are or how likely he is to win, he'll tear you apart or die trying. And he's pretty strong.

Inspector Gadget is the luckiest possible person ever. He might win with luck when others fail with strength.

Professor X would be the thoughtful super-psychic voice of reasonableness, because reasonability is not a word. If the threat was some kind of deception, Professor X would see through it.

Zeratul from Starcraft makes the cut, in case the threat required infiltration. The guy is invisible and packs a mean punch.

MacGyver rounds up the list, since we obviously need an engineer, and there is no greater engineer in all of fantasy-land.

Jules Andre
09-07-2009, 04:36 AM
1.) Jack Bauer (24)- Apparently impossible to kill. Ruthless and aggressive, and a good first response to any military style threat. Plus, doesn't need sleep. You can't underestimate those 3am threats!
2.) The Terminator (Arnold in T2) - He and Bauer will handle anything involving a modern military threat with ease. I would pick those two against any country in the world, should the threat be an evil government.
3.) The Hive Queen (Enderverse) - An army of insect minions would be really helpful, even if they are the pathetic ones we have on earth. Maybe she can find a way to start pumping out her own brand of bugs to use as soldiers and manufacturers. We'd have our own army in no time.
4.) Jean Luc Picard (...) - He'll handle leadership and anything involving politics, negotiation/diplomacy, subversive schemes, etc. Plus he can royally wreck Klingons and Borg in case that happens to be the threat. I'm particularly sure that the unnamed threat is Borg. Inside information.
5.) Spider-Man (Marvel) - Not necessarily needed, but he provides super powers and super technological/scientific brilliance. Plus, he could replicate his experiments and make me into another Spider-Man, which I would much appreciate.

Maybe 1 and 2 are a little redundant. I guess I could skip on one of them to include a ridiculously, stupidly, overpowered wizard type, Like Raistlin from Dragonlance. All we'd need are some anti-depressants and a large gift certificate to Hot Topic and I think he'd be more than willing to lend a hand and not kill us all. Technically I just picked six. Okay, no Raistlin, I won't be able to handle his whining and emo nonsense. I'll take the Genie from Aladdin. The freed genie, so we don't have a limit on his powers. Arnie, Hive Queen, Picard, Spider-Man, Genie. Done. I'm a risk taker, the threat won't involve time shenanigans (though if it did, Picard would find the requisite space-time anomaly to save us). I'm good! I just saved us all.

Jules Andre
09-07-2009, 05:05 AM
Just for fun, what if the threat isn't evil? What if the threat is too much good, and evil needs to whup some butts to balance things out again? Like if universal health care passes and there's too much peace, love, and harmony in the world? (Just kidding, calm down) There are two sides to every coin afterall. Here's my evil 5.

1.) Voldemort (Harry Potter) - He's got magic down pat, and he definitely inspires loyalty. He's a good start.
2.) Apocalypse (Marvel) - I don't even know what his powers are, he's just evil and powerful. I'd go with Galactus here, but he's probably too close to a god figure.
3.) Darth Vader (...you know this, you do) - Don't think this needs any explanation.
4.) T-2000 (Terminator) - Infiltrator assassin extraordinaire.
5.) Georg... I kid, I kid.
5.) Neltharion/Deathwing (Warcraft) - He's a giant fiery dragon that could basically destroy the world. I'm okay with this choice. An alternate from this universe could be the Lich King. Bonus points to him because he was once a paladin, so he might still know how to bubble, and thus, is impossible to defeat by any method whatsoever. Or I could go with anyone who plays an alliance character in World of Warcraft. Bonus points for them because they're probably more evil than anyone on this list. With this group, the world lay in great peril.

Tapioca Dextrin
09-07-2009, 05:29 AM
1) John Steed from the Avengers. All teams of superfriends need a charismatic leader and Steed has suave coming out of his armpits. Plus, if combat is needed, some pretty young thing in hot pants is obligated to turn up :)

2) John Rambo from Rambo III. Combat. He took out the entire Soviet War Machine with a bow and arrow. I was going to go with Conan, but he might be a little out of place in the 2st century.

3) Sapphire from Sapphire and Steel. If the SEC championship game has been scheduled for a weekend when you have to be at your mother-in-laws, her time manipulating ability might just save the day.

4) Kaylee from Firefly. In every evil plot to blow up the world, there's always a bomb to defuse, or a vehicle has to be repaired, you know the score. Having a mechanic seems like a good idea. Plus, she looks awfully cute in greasy coveralls.

5) Virgil Tracy, pilot of Thunderbird 2. Logisitics is the key to any conflicy and modular heavy lift vehicle could be just the ticket.

I think I'm the first one with no comic book characters

Ranchoth
09-07-2009, 06:29 AM
I humbly suggest we split this into two different scenarios—one for the relatively mundane, Earth-based threats, and one for more "Cosmic" level threats to the planet.

The latter would be more appropriate for demigodly characters (The Doctor, Dr. Manhattan, Crystal Dragon Jesus, etc), and the former for the likes of James Bond, Batman, Steve McQueen, etc.

The Other Waldo Pepper
09-07-2009, 06:41 AM
I think I'm the first one with no comic book characters

Time for the all-Alan-Moore cross-universe team:

1) Tom Strong: what if Doc Savage had better gear, plus a few borderline superhuman powers?
2) John Constantine: world-class con artist with an extensive knowledge of the occult.
3) Miracleman: the muscle; 4) Supreme: and then some; 5) Adrian Veidt: fight's over.

Jonathan Chance
09-07-2009, 07:18 AM
Leadership
Colonel Jennifer Sparks. Head of the Authority and spirit of the 20th Century. Able to inspire and remains focused on her team's goals. Once managed to kill God upon that entity's return from touring the galaxy. Personal motto: Bugger this. I want a better world.

Muscle
Superman. The may be others just as strong but his ability to inspire and unwillingness to give up make him the case for galactic-level muscle and determination. Likely would disapprove of Sparks in her leadership role but would go along for the greater good.

Cosmic Influence
The Phoenix. Unlike that priss Dr. Manhattan, the lady with the red hair doesn't get all wrapped up in predestination and such. Her ability to manipulate matter is up there with anyone ever conceived. Has the ability to manipulate events to such an extent that she can not only make an opponent no longer exist but she can make it so that opponent NEVER existed.

Reset button
Kevin Thorn. From the Fables Universe Thorn is recently revealed as a 'literal' in that he is one of the few beings that predated everything. Thorn is the writer and has shown the ability to rewrite events, beings, and history to suit his own desires. If he writes something out of the story then it's gone for good.

Indestructibility/Comic Relief
Indiana Jones. An intelligent human in his own right and possessor of a PhD in archaeology, Jones is a true hero. He's also clearly an indestructible hero in the classic mold and has the gene for 'making it up as he goes' which lends a certain amusing aspect to the whole thing. Plus, without a doubt he'd end up in bed with both Sparks and the Phoenix at some point and that's a scene I wouldn't mind seeing.

Kobal2
09-07-2009, 08:20 AM
Leader : Sam Vimes. I can rely on him to do the right think, keep his head on his shoulders, and above all, not die. Also, he will never. stop.

Tank : Geralt of Rivia, from the Witcher series. Knows how to deal with both men and monsters, can do some magic in a pinch, and his potions give him one heck of an edge. His moral amorality meshes well with Vimes's.

Support : Probably Inoue Orihime, of Bleach fame. Her healing and defensive abilities are seriously overpowered, and under the influence of the two above she just might become less of a wet hen and use her (also overpowered) offensive ones.

Damage Dealer : There is nothing Deadpool can't shoot, stab, blow up, stab and then piss on.

Wild Card : Silke, of the Belgariad. He can think like a thief, finance any cockamamie operation the other four have got going, and in a pinch can kick surprising ass.

GuanoLad
09-07-2009, 08:45 AM
James Bond - Super efficient spy with a license to kill.

Gandalf - Wizard with great command of earthly powers.

Spider-Man - Superhero who is rarely defeated, and can climb walls.

The Doctor - Charismatic time traveller with a deep understanding of the universe.

Igor - Can fix anything and anybody.

StusBlues
09-07-2009, 09:02 AM
Green Lantern. A character who, in theory, can do ANYTHING, limited only by inagination and willpower. I am tempted to take Ion here instead, but that's hardly sporting--and he might well qualify as a god.

Doctor Strange. The most competent sorceror in the Marvel universe, and probably the most reliable in any mileu.

Doctor Manhattan. Sheer power, limited only by his awareness.

Doctor Who. Portrayed as a bumbling idiot, but always somehow able to craft a technological solution where the "better" scientists fail. Doesn't look the part, but has the goods when it counts.

Tiresias. We need an all-knowing seer for this group, and he fits the bill perfectly. Granted, his usual limitation is not being able to do anything about what he foresees, but the other four on this team should be able to balance that nicely.

Oakminster
09-07-2009, 12:53 PM
I read the OP as saying only one pick per universe. So I don't think you can pick Superman and Batman or Reed Richards and Doctor Strange.

This is correct.

Oakminster
09-07-2009, 01:10 PM
And my own team:

1) Doc Savage--team leader, expert in everything, also can serve as a doctor.

2) Elminster--team wizard, able to cast Wish, Time Stop, and can manipulate Spellfire.

3) Superman--the tank, should be able to hold aggro on anything physical.

4) Montgomery Scott--as far as I know, did not go to Georgia Tech, but is still a helluva engineer.

5) Lady Sally Callahan--Time travel, Galactic Guardian of unknown power, also runs an upscale bordello which could host the victory party.

wierdaaron
09-07-2009, 01:25 PM
Batman and Jason Bourne could, with their efforts combined, defeat the sun itself. So, them.

Chronos
09-07-2009, 03:00 PM
Some borrowed, some new:

1: Sam Vimes (Discworld). Not only is he about the only guy who could successfully lead a ragtag bunch like this (as long as I don't include any vampires), he's also pretty good at figuring out just what exactly is actually going on, in time to do something about it.

2: The Amazing Skeeve (Myth-Adventures). Sure, he knows he's usually in way over his head, but nobody else in the multiverse seems to ever realize it. I probably don't have enough magical firepower at my disposal no matter what magician I pick, but Skeeve's all about casting smarter, not harder.

3: Agatha Heterodyne (Girl Genius). Sure, Macgyver can improvise a single-shot cannon from materials at hand, but Agatha can improvise a hand-held death ray that leaves a three-meter hole in a dozen layers of stone walls.

4: Bink (Xanth). If I have magic, then whatever the nebulous threat is probably does, too. If the problem involves magic at all, and Bink's on the team, then they're pretty much guaranteed not to fail. Plus, even against nonmagical threats, Piers Anthony is one of the very few authors cheesy enough to actually give his main characters explicit plot armor.

5. Green Lantern Hal Jordan (DC). Once we figure out what the threat is, we'll have to do something about it. Superman may have more raw power, but he's not very versatile: His skill set is mostly limited to "hit things really hard". Hal, though, can do pretty much anything he wants, as long as it's green.

Peter Morris
09-07-2009, 03:37 PM
Indiana Jones
Rincewind
The Stainless Steel Rat
Judge Dredd
Sherlock Holmes

Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor
09-07-2009, 04:19 PM
Some borrowed, some new:

1: Sam Vimes (Discworld). Not only is he about the only guy who could successfully lead a ragtag bunch like this (as long as I don't include any vampires), he's also pretty good at figuring out just what exactly is actually going on, in time to do something about it.

2: The Amazing Skeeve (Myth-Adventures). Sure, he knows he's usually in way over his head, but nobody else in the multiverse seems to ever realize it. I probably don't have enough magical firepower at my disposal no matter what magician I pick, but Skeeve's all about casting smarter, not harder.

3: Agatha Heterodyne (Girl Genius). Sure, Macgyver can improvise a single-shot cannon from materials at hand, but Agatha can improvise a hand-held death ray that leaves a three-meter hole in a dozen layers of stone walls.

4: Bink (Xanth). If I have magic, then whatever the nebulous threat is probably does, too. If the problem involves magic at all, and Bink's on the team, then they're pretty much guaranteed not to fail. Plus, even against nonmagical threats, Piers Anthony is one of the very few authors cheesy enough to actually give his main characters explicit plot armor.

5. Green Lantern Hal Jordan (DC). Once we figure out what the threat is, we'll have to do something about it. Superman may have more raw power, but he's not very versatile: His skill set is mostly limited to "hit things really hard". Hal, though, can do pretty much anything he wants, as long as it's green.

Not bad.

However--

Dump Vimes.

Replace with James T. Kirk, Galactic Badass. Very good leader, has some science smarts, deals very well with the unusual.

Dump Jordan, replace with Alan Scott, the Golden Age Green Lantern. All of Jordan's power, lots more experience, more of a team player, backup leader.

tr0psn4j
09-07-2009, 04:39 PM
Gandalf - Great leadership abilities, magic, and can wield a blade as well.

Jack Bauer - Sneaky bastard. Can handle anything thrown his way. Isn't afraid to break the rules.

Frank Martin from The Transporter - He'll be the driver. Also good with a gun and hand to hand combat.

Cameron, The Terminator - No one really expects her to be any trouble. Faithfully follows orders.

C3P0 - Gandalf takes care of hobbits, Jack is always saving Kim's ass, Frank always has a damsel in distress and Cameron is always looking after John Connor. They all need some accident prone dumbass to keep them on track. :)

Chronos
09-07-2009, 07:03 PM
Dump Vimes.

Replace with James T. Kirk, Galactic Badass. Very good leader, has some science smarts, deals very well with the unusual.

Dump Jordan, replace with Alan Scott, the Golden Age Green Lantern. All of Jordan's power, lots more experience, more of a team player, backup leader.Vimes is primarily in there as a leader, and let's face it, Kirk isn't much of an inspirational figure. And it's my impression that Jordan has more experience with cosmic-level threats than Scott, and uses his powers more creatively, though I admit I'm not an expert on Lantern lore.

And I must admit that Peter Morris's choice of the Stainless Steel Rat has a lot to offer, though he needs to be kept supplied with gadgets.

appleciders
09-07-2009, 09:44 PM
Just for fun, I allowed myself no repeats of other people's lists.


Brains: Mike, from The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. The original super-smart AI, Mike will handle every last little organizational detail. He will tirelessly gather information from every imaginable source, and correlate the hell out of it. And from the very beginning, he'll have it planned out to the endgame.

Muscle: The Master Chief, from HALO. For when it absolutely, positively, has to be blown up overnight.

Grease: Luke Skywalker, from Star Wars. For situations that require a little more finesse than the Master Chief can provide. Smart, agile, and all the Force power we'll need.

Magic: Albus Dumbledore, from Harry Potter. Smart as a whip, accomplished duelist, and cool under fire. Oh, yeah, and he's magical, too.

Technology: Dr. Henry Deacon, from Eureka. If it ever worked, he can fix it. If it ever might work, he can build it. And if it's science related, he knows about it.


I kind of wanted Professor X and Agatha Heterodyne, but they were already spoken for.

Mrs. Cake
09-07-2009, 10:04 PM
Hmm, problem is you got a bunch of type-A's who'll spend as much time infighting and showing each other up as working against the mutual foe... So, trying to not use anyone already listed:

Leader - Captain Carrot (Discworld). So much charisma people will do anything for him.

Tech - Data (ST:TNG). The Doctor is my first thought, but he's a maverick. Data doesn't have any real ego issues to get in they way, andonce you take away the bad writers, he can probably think circles around the rest of the techies.

Muscle - Terminator from T2, appropriately programmed, of course.

Magic - Sparrowhawk, in his prime.

All-Around Moxie - Helen Parr, aka Elastigirl (The Incredibles). Superhero, can work in a team, can fly a plane, you name it.

Red Skeezix
09-07-2009, 10:51 PM
I'm feeling that this party needs to be fairly pragmatic and morally ambiguous.

Muscle/Intimidation/Assassination/Comic Relief: HK-47 (Star Wars, Knights of the Old Republic) When you absolutely have to shred every last meatbag in the room, accept no substitutes. No morals.

Mind Control/Propaganda/Subterfuge: The Mule (Foundation). You can't refuse him.

Brains/Technology: Minerva (computer) (Heinlein, World as a Myth/Future History) Can coordinate, build, monitor, and find anything.

Cunning Leadership: Roland the Gunslinger (Dark Tower), the ability to form a ka-tet with the rest of the group to guide their actions and bring them to face down the challenge. Also he knows when to shoot first and ask questions later.

Magic/Occult/Paranormal: Harry Dresden (Dresden Files), he's resourceful and gives the team not only magic, but occult and paranormal knowledge.

Trick Rider
09-07-2009, 11:03 PM
Samus Aran from the Metroid series - Ready to kick the spine out of anyone
Zaraki Kenpachi from Bleach - The epitome of badass
Sherlock Holmes - Same reasons as everyone else picked him
Tommy - Just in case cosmic pinball is involved
Gandalf - He covers for Tommy in times of no cosmic pinball

drastic_quench
09-08-2009, 12:17 AM
I'm stacking my deck by trying to multitask.

Batman - Greatest Detective, Leader, and a whole lot more
He beats out Sherlock Holmes by bringing muscle, tech, billions, tactical genius, the coolest base ever, and ultra-dickery, in addition to being the world's greatest detective. Oh, and he can be (MUST be) the leader too. But picking him costs me Superman.

Incredible Hulk - professor version, muscle AND superbrains
The madder he gets, the stronger he gets -- so infinite muscle, plus this version is a top-level superscientist even when he's not Bruce Banner.

The Saint of Killers - Patron Saint of Slaughter and Assassination.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_characters_in_Preacher#Saint_of_Killers
Can't be harmed. Can kill anything - even God - with a single shot. In case my muscle, Hulk, is tied up, this guy can finish any fight.

The Freed Genie from Disney's Aladdin
Nobody expected Robin Williams! But magic-wise, this guy can do anything. So there. And seeing Robin Williams pester the ever-living hell out of Batman with his coke-fueled routines would be priceless.

The Borg Queen from Star Trek First Contact + Cube
Hey, I got a lady, well half a lady (minus her lady-half) on my list! I don't think it's too much of a wank that she comes with her spaceship, since Batman gets all his stuff. I don't even need her millions of soldiers, if that evens it up. She could always make more after being summoned -- hey an innumerable army is quite an asset. She's here for that nigh unstoppable spacecraft - just in case my team needs to go off planet. The tech is a huge plus.

I really like my picks.

drastic_quench
09-08-2009, 12:31 AM
Ah, it appears the Genie has three limitations on his powers:

he could break the laws of nature, shapeshift into virtually anything, break the fourth wall, warp reality at a whim, lift the palace of Agrabah with no problems, give other people his power, undo the works of any magic, and escape a magically sealed cave. However, he had three limits to his powers; he could not kill, could not make people fall in love, and could not raise the dead (though he states that he can perform resurrections, but simply does not enjoy doing so as the resurrected are implied to be turned into zombies which he describes as "not a pretty picture").

Not a big deal. He stays.

Kamino Neko
09-08-2009, 01:20 AM
For the sake of fun...a 1-voice-actor team...all characters voiced at some point by Cam Clarke...

1) Leonardo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) - Leader. Skilled swordsman.
2) Max Sterling (Robotech) - best Veritech pilot of his generation...possibly ever. Veritechs being powerful transforming mechs, capable of transforming between the forms of fighter jets, or automatic-weapon-wielding humanoid robots, or a hybrid form.
3) Reed Richards (Marvel U) - brains and tech. Just imagine the upgrades he could give Max's VT.
4) Drizzt Do'Urden (D&D/Forgotten Realms) - skilled fighter, Drow heritage, granting him minor magical abilities and resistances, a good number of magical goodies.
5) Medivh (Warcraft) - powerful magic user, prophet. Immortal. Unfortunately possessed by a malefic being, making him moderately unpredictable, I think it's worth chancing this to have a dedicated magic user.

Aside from Medivh, a rather low-powered group, but...

Kobal2
09-08-2009, 02:18 AM
The Saint of Killers - Patron Saint of Slaughter and Assassination.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_characters_in_Preacher#Saint_of_Killers
Can't be harmed. Can kill anything - even God - with a single shot. In case my muscle, Hulk, is tied up, this guy can finish any fight.

God, you're right, how did I miss him ? He's less funny than Deadpool, that's for sure, but the sumbitch'll one shot Death itself if that's what it takes.

Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor
09-08-2009, 05:03 AM
Just for fun, I allowed myself no repeats of other people's lists.




Grease: Luke Skywalker, from Star Wars. For situations that require a little more finesse than the Master Chief can provide. Smart, agile, and all the Force power we'll need.




The Farmboy?!?


No grease there!

Han Solo, maybe.

Starbuck, from BSGOS.

Or Lupin the Third.


Con artists needed.

willthekittensurvive?
09-08-2009, 05:48 AM
well according to this chart (http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/features/armaged.htm)we should pick one the characters of either
*Will Smith
*Bruce Wills
*Dan Aykroyd
*Bruce Campbell
or
* "the black guy from Dawn of the dead"

Smeghead
09-08-2009, 09:15 AM
I'm ignoring the rules and standing fast on The A-Team. There's nothing they can't solve, given a van and a medium-sized junkyard.

BrotherCadfael
09-08-2009, 09:21 AM
Jack Ryan, Robbie Jackson, John Clark, Mary Pat and Ed Foley, Dan Murray...

ministryman
09-08-2009, 11:02 AM
1. Mike Callahan (Spider Robinson's creation) - A bartender with a wonderful sense of humor and a LOT of friends.

2. Brainiac (DC Universe) - We need a supercomputer. Not sure if I want 5 or 12

3. The Silver Surfer (Marvel Universe) - in case cosmic energies need to be absorbed.

4. Dumbledore (Harry Potter) Universe - We may need magic, and a lovable old fart.

5. Casca (Barry Sadler's creation) - He has lived since the time of Christ, and knows how to kick ass. He can't die, so he makes the perfect weapon.

Irishman
09-08-2009, 04:13 PM
I'm still looking for the justification for Rincewind. When you really need someone to run away. Really away.

Oakminster said:
2. Gods, and functional equivalents thereof, are not subject to the power of the Orbs. This includes the Q.

Damn, I was gonna say "Jesus".

1. Malcolm Reynolds (Firefly) - Leadership, cunning, deviousness, determination. He's the Han Solo that shot first, and didn't wait around to see what Greedo wanted. He's got more charisma than Captain Kirk, and doesn't have weird... pauses... for emphasis in his speech.

2. Buffy Summers (Buffyverse) - if it is supernatural and needs slaying, Buffy can take it. Bonus points if the bad guys are vampires. Plus, she's hot.

3. Albus Dumbledore (Potterverse) - got magic out the yingyang, plus is wise and comforting. Plus, I can't have Willow.

4. Montgomery Scotty Scott (Star Trek) - engineer par excellence. When it has to be done on a deadline or you're all toast, he's the man for the job. He can also handle the time travel angles.

5. The Luggage (Diskworld) - Anyone messes with its owner, it will eat them. It will go to the ends of the world (and over them) to protect its owner. Indestructible. Can carry anything, like extra ammo, spellbooks, enough gold to bribe the bad guys to going somewhere else....

Jennyrosity
09-11-2009, 04:39 AM
I'm still looking for the justification for Rincewind. When you really need someone to run away. Really away.

Oakminster said:


Damn, I was gonna say "Jesus".

1. Malcolm Reynolds (Firefly) - Leadership, cunning, deviousness, determination. He's the Han Solo that shot first, and didn't wait around to see what Greedo wanted. He's got more charisma than Captain Kirk, and doesn't have weird... pauses... for emphasis in his speech.

2. Buffy Summers (Buffyverse) - if it is supernatural and needs slaying, Buffy can take it. Bonus points if the bad guys are vampires. Plus, she's hot.

3. Albus Dumbledore (Potterverse) - got magic out the yingyang, plus is wise and comforting. Plus, I can't have Willow.

4. Montgomery Scotty Scott (Star Trek) - engineer par excellence. When it has to be done on a deadline or you're all toast, he's the man for the job. He can also handle the time travel angles.

5. The Luggage (Diskworld) - Anyone messes with its owner, it will eat them. It will go to the ends of the world (and over them) to protect its owner. Indestructible. Can carry anything, like extra ammo, spellbooks, enough gold to bribe the bad guys to going somewhere else....

This is my favourite list so far. And I'd pay folding money to see Buffy team up with The Luggage.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright © 2018 STM Reader, LLC.