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View Full Version : My wife makes better chili than I do.


silenus
04-06-2010, 09:01 PM
And I make a damn fine chili. I don't know whether to be concerned or proud.

I hold that I still have the record of making the Single Greatest Batch of Chili the World Has Ever Known, but that was a once-off. How often do you have a moose to use for chili meat? But the batch the wife made for dinner tonight out of left-over beef tenderloin and other stuff was truly excellent. This is the third pot in a row that has been better than what I usually turn out. Should I be sad that she has surpassed me in an area I think myself great? Or should I just shut the hell up and enjoy the eats? :D

BrainGlutton
04-06-2010, 09:19 PM
My wife makes better chili than I do.

In Texas, this is legal justification for homicide.

Clothahump
04-07-2010, 07:32 AM
Should I be sad that she has surpassed me in an area I think myself great? Or should I just shut the hell up and enjoy the eats? :D

You should bless and cherish that woman until the end of your days.

Anyone can make chili. Few people can make good chili. And even fewer can make GREAT chili!

LiveOnAPlane
04-07-2010, 07:35 AM
No, be glad. Let her continue to conjure up greatness while you sit in the recliner with a beer, dreaming of the glurgy goodness to come.

Or, maybe you could volunteer to do the prep work, chopping & dicing, trimming, etc. Then bring the prepped ingredients to her like a properly-humble acolyte and then stand back a respectful distance and watch greatness happen.

In fact, never even mind the fact that she does it better than you; any one with a spouse who can whip up a mean batch of chili should consider him/her self exceedingly fortunate. Period.

shiftless
04-07-2010, 08:01 AM
You are a lucky, lucky man. Except for having to turn in your man-card, of course, that's gotta suck. But at least you will have great chili.

howye
04-07-2010, 11:33 AM
Are you sure her chili is better? Perhaps you need to send out several samples bowls batches for independent taste testing. I am willing to volunteer my services for such a chore, and I am sure we could wrangle a few other volunteers.

Oakminster
04-07-2010, 11:37 AM
If her chili is better than yours, it's probably because she uses beans. :D

(ducks for cover)

That noted, cherish the wife...not only is she an excellent cook, but she's cooking actual food and not tofu burgers and bean sprouts or something.

Shoeless
04-07-2010, 12:51 PM
I hold that I still have the record of making the Single Greatest Batch of Chili the World Has Ever Known

You know how at the end of every Olympic closing ceremony the IOC President gets up there and declares that this Olympics was the greatest ever? I make that same declaration every time I make a batch of chili. "This is the Greatest Chili EVER!"

(And yes, I make mine with beans. :p)

Chronos
04-07-2010, 12:57 PM
I still maintain that it is impossible to make chili without beans, since without the beans, it's some other dish, not chili. It may be a good dish, but the essential ingredients of chili are beans, peppers, and tomatoes, and without all three of those, chili it's not.

Around here, moose chili isn't exactly unheard-of, and it is indeed very good. You might also want to try using bison, which might be more commercially available (though you'd probably still need to go to a specialty meat store for it).

Haunted Pasta
04-07-2010, 01:31 PM
Shut the hell up and enjoy. Rejoice and be glad.

The last batch of "chili" my wife made didn't have any meat or spices in it, but it did have Veggie Crumbles (soy-based meat substitute, and no, we're not vegetarian.) And corn. At least she agreed that it wasn't good.

Fortunately, I make ass-kickingly good chili myself. As far as I can tell, the things that really make it work are beer, cumin, a heavy dose of chopped onions (cooked in, not sprinkled on top), and a healthy dollop or two of garlic pickle (the fermented red-pepper concoction available at the Indian grocery store, not the cucumbers-in-brine things you put slices of on a burger).

Dangit, now I have to make a batch.

friedo
04-07-2010, 01:56 PM
Pro tip: don't perform cunnilingus immediately after eating five-alarm chili.

Loisseau
04-07-2010, 02:38 PM
Chili Verde
(Green Chili)

Use large crock pot for cooking, 3 - 4 qt. (Serves a bunch!)
3 lbs. Meat (Pork and/or Beef, whatever is on sale and is a decent cut)
3 cans Ortega diced green chilis
3 – 5 Jalapenos, diced (Your tolerance for heat dictates the actual number)
5 Anaheim chilis ½ cut in strips, ½ cut in rings(set aside rings)
1 large yellow onion, diced in 1 inch chunks
1 large potato, diced in 1 inch chunks
1 can diced tomatoes
1 cup beef broth
1 Cup Flour
1 Tblspn Chili power
Garlic powder, salt and pepper (If you can find it, get Adobo seasoning, in the Mexican aisle at the supermarket)
2 Tblspn Dry Mexican oregano
Chopped Cilantro
Flour tortillas
Mexican White or Jack cheese
Sour Cream

Open a beer and taste. Set aside….for now.
Cut meat into 1.5 inch cubes and season with salt, pepper, Adobo and garlic powder. Flour meat and sear in hot oil until brown on all sides. Add to crock.
In the leftover oil from meat, wilt yellow onion. Add to crock.
In same pan, over high heat, brown potatoes. Add to crock.
Deglaze pan with a bit of that beer from before. Add liquid and brown bits to crock
Add to crock, strip cut Anaheims and ½ diced Jalapenos, diced tomatoes, beef broth, 1 can of Ortegas, chili powder.

Cover and cook on low for at least 5 – 6 hours, stirring occasionally. (The longer and slower you cook this, the better the outcome!) Finish that beer from earlier.

Go watch the game/movie, do yard work, go shopping whatever, you got time to kill.

1/2 hour prior to serving, add remaining Ortega, jalapeno (remember, these are the HOT ones!) and Anaheim chili rings. At serving time, add oregano and cilantro to taste.

Serving suggestions;
1. Over white rice – Place 1 cup white rice in bowl. Ladle chili over rice and top with cheese, diced white onion and dollop sour cream. Tortillas on the side.
2. In a burrito – In a large flour tortilla, place chili, white rice, cheese and sour cream. Roll up loosely. Serve with refried beans.
3. In a mini-crock – In an oven proof soup bowl or mini-crock, place 1 - 1.5 cup chili. Cover with cheese and top with diced white onion. Place under broiler until cheese and onion brown. Tortillas or corn chips on the side.
All 3 serving suggestions should be served with ice cold Mexican beer. I recommend Modelo Especial (The MGD of Mexico, light and tasty), Pacifico (The more flavorful, under-appreciated sibling of Corona), Cerveza Victoria (if you can find it, this is my favorite Cerveza Mexicana!)

longhair75
04-07-2010, 03:05 PM
Friend silenus,

Just enjoy it and let her cook the chili from now on. My wife is an awful cook. She knows it and generally just stays out of my kitchen all together.

Chronos
04-07-2010, 04:41 PM
The last batch of "chili" my wife made didn't have any meat or spices in it, but it did have Veggie Crumbles (soy-based meat substitute, and no, we're not vegetarian.) And corn. At least she agreed that it wasn't good.Actually, I don't think that textured vegetable protein in chili is necessarily an inherently bad thing. In fact, a dish like chili that gets most of its flavor from the non-meat ingredients is precisely where TVP works best. I'm not saying I would choose it instead of meat, but it should still be satisfactory.

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