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View Full Version : Colt 45 Blast: Holy shit!!!


pkbites
04-27-2011, 12:04 AM
If all you want to do is get drunk quickly, your Messiah is here: Colt 45 Blast. 12% alcohol (FYI regular beer has between 4-5%) First I tried The Blueberry/Pomegranate flavor:

Pours an electric blue like Smurf cum. The aroma is itís only weakness. It smells a bit like puke. No head. VERY low carbonation. This goes down super smooth, like freaking Kool-Aid I kid you not. It is a FANTASTIC alcohol delivery system. I paid $1.79 for a 24 ounce can @ Woodmans. 1 can is the alcohol equal to 5 regular beers. Where are you getting 5 beers for under 2 bucks? You can easily slam 2 cans of this in under 5 minutes! This will FUCK-YOU-UP something fierce! Why didnít they make shit like this when I was in college?

Next I tried the Raspberry/Watermelon flavor. It looks like kool Aid. It smells like Kool-Aid. It tastes like Kool-Aid. It has almost no carbonation like Kool-Aid. It has no characteristics of malt liquor in the least. it has a very pleasant fruit flavor.

Even the cans (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fMhEiq7kE5A/TZob9SgKMEI/AAAAAAAAGi0/4LTs0PdbLgU/s1600/colt+45+blast.jpg) look like soda.

I'm betting they ban this stuff before Labor Day!

Silophant
04-27-2011, 12:17 AM
I agree. After the whole Four Loko thing, this won't last very long at all.

Alessan
04-27-2011, 12:42 AM
If I want to get drunk quickly, I drink vodka and orange juice. Faster, cheaper, and tastier. Plus, vitamin C!

All those "special" drinks are for pussies.

pkbites
04-27-2011, 01:11 AM
If I want to get drunk quickly, I drink vodka and orange juice. Faster, cheaper


I challenge you on this, my friend:

Show me the math! ;)

KRC
04-27-2011, 01:28 AM
Aahh, I've done it. Along with a certain tea made out of something illegal. Quite interesting results, including getting married in the church of peyote and winding up in the middle of nowhere with a psycho and having to walk several miles to call my aunt and uncle to release me from the psycho.


It will be a cold day in Hell before I ever look at that stuff again.

user_hostile
04-27-2011, 01:36 AM
Aahh, I've done it. Along with a certain tea made out of something illegal. Quite interesting results, including getting married in the church of peyote and winding up in the middle of nowhere with a psycho and having to walk several miles to call my aunt and uncle to release me from the psycho.


It will be a cold day in Hell before I ever look at that stuff again.

Haven't I seen this as a fiction story in the New Yorker? :p

gladtobeblazed
04-27-2011, 01:49 AM
Never heard of this stuff. For a quick, cheap drunk I get Steel Reserve. 8.1% alcohol and just $1.29 per 24 oz. can. A lot of people think it tastes nasty, but after a couple of swallows I stop noticing, or perhaps caring, about the taste. I don't know about flavored malt beverages though, I would probably get sick of the taste after half a can.

Panurge
04-27-2011, 02:52 AM
Alcohol that tastes like Kool-Aid is "fantastic"? How old are you?

pkbites
04-27-2011, 02:56 AM
Alcohol that tastes like Kool-Aid is "fantastic"? How old are you?

.50

Alessan
04-27-2011, 03:39 AM
I challenge you on this, my friend:

Show me the math! ;)

It depends on the vodka.

Your Blast costs $1.79 per 24 ounces at 12% alcohol. That means it costs $0.64 per ounce of alcohol.

Now, assuming that the vodka is 80 proof Finlandia, costing $20 per 34 ounces, plus $4 for decent OJ, that gives you $1.75 per ounce of alcohol. However, crappy vodka (the equivalent of Blast in terms of quality) and artificial OJ would total roughly $6 for the same volume, meaning that it would cost one quarter the price of the Finlandia - $0.44 per ounce, roughly 2/3 the price of the Blast.

(It's been a while since I've done any sort of math, so feel free to check my calculations. Prices are from cursory Google searches).

pkbites
04-27-2011, 11:01 AM
It depends on the vodka.

Irrelevant. I can't stand vodka regardless of price/brand.

billfish678
04-27-2011, 11:06 AM
Irrelevant. I can't stand vodka regardless of price/brand.

Thats why you mix it with something that actually taste better, like clam juice.

PlainJain
04-27-2011, 11:07 AM
Irrelevant. I can't stand vodka regardless of price/brand.
Not irrelevant, you challenged him on math not vodka.

antonio107
04-27-2011, 11:15 AM
The LCBO doesn't list it...hope it's coming to Canada!

Suburban Plankton
04-27-2011, 11:18 AM
Thats why you mix it with something that actually taste better, like clam juice.

Ooohhh, throw in some tomato juice and cheap-ass light beer and you might have a winner there!

pkbites
04-27-2011, 11:41 AM
Thats why you mix it with something that actually taste better, like clam juice.

How about crab juice (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Skurheg3P6I)?



Ooohhh, throw in some tomato juice and cheap-ass light beer and you might have a winner there!


This (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71EsxLI3254) guy begs to differ:

"It smells like puke. It kinda tastes like puke".

bouv
04-27-2011, 11:53 AM
I thought the bigger problem with Four Loko was that it also had caffeine (well, in addition to having high alcohol content, cheap, enough sugar to drown out all the booze, packaged to look like soda/energy drink, and the case that stores had them in always seemed to be the case between the beer and energy drinks, etc...)

Of course, this stuff satisfies all those other qualities...but no caffeine! :D

pkbites
04-27-2011, 12:00 PM
I thought the bigger problem with Four Loko was that it also had caffeine (well, in addition to having high alcohol content, cheap, enough sugar to drown out all the booze, packaged to look like soda/energy drink, and the case that stores had them in always seemed to be the case between the beer and energy drinks, etc...)

Of course, this stuff satisfies all those other qualities...but no caffeine! :D

Colt 45 Blast tastes better than Four Loko.

Alessan
04-27-2011, 12:38 PM
You know what's great? Vodka and Red Bull. It's Four Loco for the non-terminally lazy.

Nancarrow
04-27-2011, 07:33 PM
Pours an electric blue like Smurf cum. The aroma is itís only weakness. It smells a bit like puke.

Mmm, you're really selling it.

snowbunny29
08-10-2011, 05:21 PM
i literally shit blue after i drank one of those on an empty stomach. it was like a i shit after eating a smurf. pretty rad

OneMissedPost
08-10-2011, 05:28 PM
I thought the bigger problem with Four Loko was that it also had caffeine (well, in addition to having high alcohol content, cheap, enough sugar to drown out all the booze, packaged to look like soda/energy drink, and the case that stores had them in always seemed to be the case between the beer and energy drinks, etc...)

Of course, this stuff satisfies all those other qualities...but no caffeine! :D

Yes,

The problem with Four Loko is that it had lots of caffeine along with a high alcohol content. It was known as "blackout-in-a-can." Caffeine and alcohol have disastrous results - meaning that people would not remember what they did after downing a can of that nasty brew.

It tasted like an energy drink so people wouldn't notice the alcohol. People would also drink it too fast.

Harmonious Discord
08-10-2011, 05:48 PM
How can it be electric blue smurf cum without a head?

Biffy the Elephant Shrew
08-10-2011, 06:44 PM
it was like a i shit after eating a smurf.

And George Carlin said there was no blue food.

DoctorJ
08-10-2011, 08:22 PM
Pours an electric blue like Smurf cum. The aroma is itís only weakness.Uh, no, I'd suggest that the resemblance to Smurf cum counts as a weakness.

Quasimodem
08-10-2011, 08:56 PM
If I ever need to puke or have a hangover I'll re-visit this thread! :)

Kidding, but reading here reminds me of the days in school when we used to drink Old Milwaukee by opening both ends of the can so it would go down quicker and we'd get more of a buzz. I know that has a name, but I forgot what it was. Anyone?

Thanks

Q

dropzone
08-10-2011, 09:14 PM
Shotgunning?

Bryan Ekers
08-10-2011, 09:39 PM
DAAAAAAAmmmnn! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JpwjnMFlJI)


(Sequence of classic NewsRadio clips)

Oakminster
08-10-2011, 09:42 PM
Is anyone over 25 actually interested in getting drunk as quickly as possible? Yeah, ok, I did the typical college things, but since then, the urge to get blasted ASAP just isn't there.

Ephemera
08-10-2011, 10:19 PM
Yes. Next question?

Quasimodem
08-10-2011, 10:22 PM
Shotgunning?

That sounds right, dropzone.

Thanks

Q

pulykamell
08-10-2011, 10:34 PM
I always wondered who drank this stuff. I had somebody give me a can of this at a barbecue a few weeks ago. I drink about two swigs and just couldn't drink any more. Tasted like ass. So I passed it to my SO, who is far less picky about her alcohols. She also had two swigs and passed it on. Eventually, it found itself being poured down the drain. Wow this stuff is awful. Worse than what I remember Zima being.

dropzone
08-10-2011, 11:53 PM
That sounds right, dropzone.

Thanks

QAlways happy to help. I read part of your blog and recognize that "faking it" can be important. It's what friends are for.

Ambivalid
08-11-2011, 12:08 AM
Yes,

The problem with Four Loko is that it had lots of caffeine along with a high alcohol content. It was known as "blackout-in-a-can." Caffeine and alcohol have disastrous results - meaning that people would not remember what they did after downing a can of that nasty brew.

It tasted like an energy drink so people wouldn't notice the alcohol. People would also drink it too fast.

Actually, the dangerous effect of mixing alcohol and caffeine is the caffeine counteracts the drowsiness aspect that typically goes along with drunkeness; thereby allowing the drinker to continue drinking well past the point that they would be passed out under normal circumstances.

Hennessy
08-11-2011, 01:14 AM
If you never had a Loko then I would suggest this over it. Me personally, I drank Lokos all last summer and I... actually I want one after reading this thread... I was going to say I'm sick of them... Anyway, Colt 45 Blast works if you have lots of young kids and are sick of, say Camos. Does pack a nice cheap punch for those I need something now and cheap moments. Plus blue smurf cum and all that

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