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View Full Version : Commercials that think you're an idiot


Saint Cad
07-02-2013, 08:13 PM
You could go for the low-hanging fruit of 30 minute commercial/talkshow/newcasts and say
1) Do they really expect me to think this is a talkshow?
2) Do they really think I need to buy THAT?

But I saw one that actually insulted me even though I suspect 95% of non-SD Americans would have no problems with.

Some lady owns a chocolate company or uses chocolate or something and they show her down at the cocoa plantation inspecting the cocoa. Besides taking on a Paula Deen vibe :eek: she takes a seed out of the freshly cut open pod and pops it in her mouth and says how good it is. Except a cocoa seed before processing is basically inedible from the bitterness.


So what commercial have you seen where you seriously thought that the advertiser though you had ODed on idiot pills? And as you can see from my example that it doesn't have to be based on common knowledge or even anything that anyone else cares about so if you pissed at a commercial where they used the KX-483 heisenfram resonator when OBVIOUSLY they should have been using the KX-484 model on that particular motorhome then by all means have at it.

Jophiel
07-02-2013, 08:25 PM
The radio newscast ones are especially bad.

"So, it says here that gold is at an all time high but the Dorkspit Mint is offering a special price for new buyers! I have the number here somewhere *rustles paper* Oh, here it is. You can get this offer by calling..."

Always with the rustling paper. Yeah, that's what made me think my drive time show was actually interrupted by a special newscast about coins from the Dorkspit Mint.

jz78817
07-02-2013, 08:47 PM
any of those spots offering those "gold" coins for $30 or $50 which are only clad with a few mg of gold, which I worked out to be about $0.70 worth.

any damn infomercial which makes it seem like people can't do mundane tasks such as folding a T-shirt without suffering life-threatening injuries.

any of those damned radio spots advertising mortgages or some other shit where they have the "president" or "CEO" making a pitch which has been run through a filter to sound like he's on the phone. Yeah, like we're supposed to believe he's so goddamned busy writing loans that he has to call it in.

Jophiel
07-02-2013, 08:52 PM
any damn infomercial which makes it seem like people can't do mundane tasks such as folding a T-shirt without suffering life-threatening injuries.
"Tired of stabbing your brain with Q-Tips?..." (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Htbo1yW6qeU)

El_Kabong
07-02-2013, 09:16 PM
"He (she, I, they, it) ate the bones!"

davidm
07-02-2013, 09:24 PM
A local car dealer has been running radio ads where he's offering deals on trade-ins where he says something like "we need cars so badly that we'll offer you blah blah blah...".

You don't need cars you dishonest so-and-so. You're offering a transaction where a person drives in with one car and drives off with another, how would that help with a car shortage?

This same guy also says, "I believe everyone deserves to be driving a brand new car". Really? Then what's your plan for all of those trade-ins you need so desperately? Are you going to try to sell them to people that you believe deserve better?

Sherrerd
07-02-2013, 09:25 PM
Does everybody get the local commercials for dental practices, in which a 'talk show host' seated in a typical 'talk show set' with some dental dude, and starts the commercial by saying "Welcome back. With us today is Doctor CheapVeneers...."

Yes. It's a 15-second Talk Show, and dental-dude is your guest on today's 15-second Talk Show, which has a duration of 15 seconds. I believe that. I am calling the number on the screen right now.

MovieMogul
07-02-2013, 09:30 PM
I absolutely love Carls Jr. hamburgers, but their ad campaign for the last several years assumes that all guys are mouth-breathing slobs and brain-dead neanderthals who can't cook or wipe themselves.

the_diego
07-02-2013, 09:31 PM
"Only ___ Juice has Phyto-chemicals..." Ok, plant chemicals, I dig it. So?

"_____ cream has micro particles to ensure a deep, lasting clean...." Ok, the cream has grit that I can't feel. So?

davidm
07-02-2013, 09:32 PM
The Bing commercial where they say something like "more people prefer Bing over Google for the web's top searches".

Okay, that's cool, but what about the vast majority of my searches which probably aren't among "the web's top searches""? How do you do with those?

And just what the hell does "the web's top searches" mean anyway? The top 100? The top 2?

Sherrerd
07-02-2013, 09:35 PM
The Bing commercial where they say something like "more people prefer Bing over Google for the web's top searches".
Okay, that's cool, but what about the vast majority of my searches which probably aren't among "the web's top searches""? How do you do with those? And just what the hell does "the web's top searches" mean anyway? The top 100? The top 2?

Dunno. Maybe if you searched it?






:D

Max Torque
07-02-2013, 10:16 PM
I hate the radio commercials that end with a special message from the founder/owner, and his voice sounds like it's coming through a shoddy telephone. I'm not sure what they're going for. "Our CEO is so busy he can't even come down to record his part in the commercial!", I guess. What I usually think is, "Ah, he's hiding out in a country with no extradition treaties."

Ambivalid
07-02-2013, 10:23 PM
Any commercial that features a special money-saving deal that expires in exactly ten minutes!! Call now! :eek:

leahcim
07-02-2013, 10:55 PM
All of the Windows 7 commercials that had some dolt saying "Windows 7 was my idea", when their idea was something stupid like "make the internet faster" or "make everything easier". Like there were some Microsoft engineers somewhere thinking, "let's make the internet slower and make everything a trying ordeal, I think the customers will like that" only to be dissuaded by thorough market research.

And the "Bing is a decision engine" commercials.

Grrr!
07-02-2013, 10:55 PM
Any commercial whose primary customers are adults, yet, they still feel the need to use puppets.

Like Carfax, for instance. And just the other day I saw a commercial for an investment firm that used a puppet.

Ambivalid
07-02-2013, 10:59 PM
Any commercial whose primary customers are adults, yet, they still feel the need to use puppets.

I'd buy their shit.

Johnny L.A.
07-02-2013, 11:09 PM
I'd buy their shit.

Puppet shit? Would that be like, beanbags?

MEBuckner
07-02-2013, 11:10 PM
Like there were some Microsoft engineers somewhere thinking, "let's make the internet slower and make everything a trying ordeal, I think the customers will like that" only to be dissuaded by thorough market research.
Well...this is Microsoft we're talking about here.

amarinth
07-02-2013, 11:50 PM
Allstate "men are better drivers" commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQR8rj2BO-8). It's a logic disaster. Obviously all of the characters in the commercial are idiots, but do they think that the rest of America has equally bad reasoning skills? It is so bad, it makes me question Allstate's actuarial department.

Robot Arm
07-03-2013, 01:35 AM
That commercial for Axe. All of them.

Voyager
07-03-2013, 02:38 AM
As mortgage rates have increased the mortgage sellers on the radio have gone nuts. 3.5% interest rate - and think of it, you pay off your house in only 10 years!

ducati
07-03-2013, 08:20 AM
I absolutely love Carls Jr. hamburgers, but their ad campaign for the last several years assumes that all guys are mouth-breathing slobs and brain-dead neanderthals who can't cook or wipe themselves.


To be fair, I think most focus groups confirm this.:D

Jackmannii
07-03-2013, 08:40 AM
Any commercial that promises their supplement pill will dissolve your belly fat, lower your blood pressure in minutes, add 50 points to your I.Q etc., but which features a small print Quack Miranda Warning (http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Quack_Miranda_Warning) at the bottom of the screen.

MegaBee
07-03-2013, 09:39 AM
"Drivers who switched to our insurance saved an average of $700, so make the switch!"

Of course the drivers who switched to your insurance saved money. The ones who wouldn't end up saving money didn't switch!

CalMeacham
07-03-2013, 09:41 AM
That commercial for Axe. All of them.

Pepper Mill teaches in the local middle school. All the boys use Axe. All the girls hate it.

jz78817
07-03-2013, 10:10 AM
Pepper Mill teaches in the local middle school. All the boys use Axe. All the girls hate it.

I think this is an example where the advertisers know their target customers are idiots.

Dewey Finn
07-03-2013, 10:17 AM
any damn infomercial which makes it seem like people can't do mundane tasks such as folding a T-shirt without suffering life-threatening injuries.
"Tired of stabbing your brain with Q-Tips?..." (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Htbo1yW6qeU)
That one is hilarious. The guy in the commercial barely inserts the Q-Tip in his ear and he jumps as if he'd just jammed a red-hot fire poker in there.

Biotop
07-03-2013, 10:28 AM
We've got a local radio ad for some sort of weight loss program at some sort of local weight loss shack. At the end of the ad, they warn in a concerned doctor voice,"If you find yourself losing more than 10 pounds a week on this program, please report back in so we can adjust your plan to a safe level."

This phony "warning" is an obvious advertising come-on. It's got to turn off way more people than very few gullible folks that fall for the pitch. I get angry every time I hear it.

Rex Goliath
07-03-2013, 10:33 AM
Lots of wonderful gifs of people being morons in infomerials. (http://www.reddit.com/r/wheredidthesodago)

Hail Ants
07-03-2013, 10:41 AM
I've said it before and I'll say it again: The most offensive commercials in terms of treating people like idiots are those sanctimonious, moral-high-ground-having, thetruth.org anti-smoking ads. Really?! It's 2013 and you actually think there's a person anywhere that doesn't know that smoking is bad for you?! I don't smoke, never have, don't like the smell (though I don't claim to have an imaginary 'allergy' to it) and yet these ads are so 'Refer Madness'-ly condescending they make me want to start smoking!! :mad:

YamatoTwinkie
07-03-2013, 10:46 AM
"We enforce a strict limit of X products per customer"

Riiiiiiight. Sure you do.

JohnT
07-03-2013, 11:11 AM
We've got a local radio ad for some sort of weight loss program at some sort of local weight loss shack. At the end of the ad, they warn in a concerned doctor voice,"If you find yourself losing more than 10 pounds a week on this program, please report back in so we can adjust your plan to a safe level."

This phony "warning" is an obvious advertising come-on. It's got to turn off way more people than very few gullible folks that fall for the pitch. I get angry every time I hear it.

Along that line...

... to avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than four hours... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRoG-HyKcqA&t=0m39s)

"A four hour erection? Tonight I'm going to masturbate like a motherfuck!"

Steve MB
07-03-2013, 11:35 AM
The Bing commercial where they say something like "more people prefer Bing over Google for the web's top searches".

Okay, that's cool, but what about the vast majority of my searches which probably aren't among "the web's top searches""? How do you do with those?

And just what the hell does "the web's top searches" mean anyway?

It means "the ones people prefer Bing for", silly.

DrDeth
07-03-2013, 11:41 AM
It's 2013 and you actually think there's a person anywhere that doesn't know that smoking is bad for you?! :



Yes, there are many smokers still in denial. The ads are good.

eschereal
07-03-2013, 11:47 AM
Well, if you are watching TV without a mute button or DVR-FF, I would imagine you mental capacity is somewhat diminished.

Smapti
07-03-2013, 11:59 AM
The year is 2013. Anyone who spends any time playing video games knows the difference between what actual game footage looks like and what pre-rendered cutscenes look like.

And yet, God help us if every single ad for the next blockbuster game isn't made entirely out of cutscenes and CGI and doesn't include so much as a single second of what the game actually looks like.

Diceman
07-03-2013, 12:09 PM
Along that line...

... to avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than four hours... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRoG-HyKcqA&t=0m39s)

"A four hour erection? Tonight I'm going to masturbate like a motherfuck!"
A while ago, we had a thread about what they do if you get that 4+ hour erection.

Don't go looking for that thread. Just trust me that it doesn't involve a happy ending...

astorian
07-03-2013, 12:11 PM
I absolutely love Carls Jr. hamburgers, but their ad campaign for the last several years assumes that all guys are mouth-breathing slobs and brain-dead neanderthals who can't cook or wipe themselves.

Well, there are LOADS of commercials that start with the assumption that all men (especially Dads) are bumbling idiots who can't make breakfast for the kids without burning the house down, or can't do laundry without constant supervision from (infinitely smarter) Mom.

JohnT
07-03-2013, 12:26 PM
A while ago, we had a thread about what they do if you get that 4+ hour erection.

Don't go looking for that thread. Just trust me that it doesn't involve a happy ending...

I see what you did there... ;)

Diceman
07-03-2013, 12:27 PM
My personal favorites are car commercials, which invariably contain the disclaimer "Professional driver on closed course," any time the vehicle is moving. Occasionally, the driver is doing something mildly dangerous, like skidding on wet pavement to show off the car's traction control. Most of the time, however, they're driving the car down the road in a perfectly safe and sedate manner. Gee, thanks for implying that your customers are too incompetant to actually drive your car.

KneadToKnow
07-03-2013, 12:49 PM
"Only ___ Juice has Phyto-chemicals..." Ok, plant chemicals, I dig it. So?

Also, any commercial that claims its product is the only one that has TrademarkedNameIngredient.

Yes. Because that's how trademarks work.

Shark Sandwich
07-03-2013, 12:53 PM
I don't know if they make me feel like an idiot, but the Western Sky Loans commercials sure make me feel like I need to take a shower after reading the fine print.

Johnny L.A.
07-03-2013, 12:57 PM
I don't know if they make me feel like an idiot, but the Western Sky Loans commercials sure make me feel like I need to take a shower after reading the fine print.

At least the one they show here comes right out and says they're expensive. (Or at least they did; I haven't paid attention recently.)

divemaster
07-03-2013, 01:05 PM
"Focus medical group is opening a free trial for (insert woo pills here). We are looking for volunteers to join this exciting study. Call 1-800-DRQUACK to sign up and receive your 1st month's free supply."

Is anyone fooled into thinking this sort of pitch is an actual controlled medical research study?

KneadToKnow
07-03-2013, 01:06 PM
At least the one they show here comes right out and says they're expensive. (Or at least they did; I haven't paid attention recently.)

And they're getting progressively more blunt about their honesty. I think the next round of them is on target to say "We've got money and you don't, be happy we aren't asking for your children."

Leaffan
07-03-2013, 01:21 PM
"This seminar will be sold out, so register now to avoid disappointment."
- So, why are you advertising at all then?

"This weekend only, all reasonable offers will be accepted!"
- So, on the other 51 weekends this year you only accepted unreasonable offers?

ETA: Any radio commercial where they dub in background noises to make you think they actually recorded the commercial in a tire shop, kitchen, car dealership, etc.

Mister Rik
07-03-2013, 01:22 PM
There's a radio commercial for Frontier broadband Internet service that I hear during every Seattle Mariners game. During the high-speed "fine print" jabber at the very end of the commercial is the line, "$9.99 broadband processing fee upon termination of service."

Translation: "Cancel your account? Fine. We're going to gouge you for an extra ten bucks for no legitimate reason, and cloak it in a technobabble name that you're too stupid to recognize as meaningless."

AtomicDog
07-03-2013, 01:27 PM
The year is 2013. Anyone who spends any time playing video games knows the difference between what actual game footage looks like and what pre-rendered cutscenes look like.

And yet, God help us if every single ad for the next blockbuster game isn't made entirely out of cutscenes and CGI and doesn't include so much as a single second of what the game actually looks like.

I don't want to play the game. Just turn the cutscenes into a movie.

Shark Sandwich
07-03-2013, 01:32 PM
At least the one they show here comes right out and says they're expensive. (Or at least they did; I haven't paid attention recently.)

Unless it's in the process of being changed (or regional), here they don't make mention about being expensive at all, but they do mention that YOU can have $10,000 in your account TOMORROW. All of the information stating that the loan is at +80% interest, and you're expected to make payments of $750 per month for 5 years or so is in the fine print at the bottom of the screen.

FairyChatMom
07-03-2013, 01:41 PM
I did the math for one of those Western Sky loans - you end up paying something like $85K over 6 or 7 years for a $10K loan. Totally insane...

Smapti
07-03-2013, 01:46 PM
Unless it's in the process of being changed (or regional), here they don't make mention about being expensive at all, but they do mention that YOU can have $10,000 in your account TOMORROW. All of the information stating that the loan is at +80% interest, and you're expected to make payments of $750 per month for 5 years or so is in the fine print at the bottom of the screen.

I can personally testify having heard one of their ads on the radio that outright said "Sure, it's expensive, but you need money now!"

Johnny L.A.
07-03-2013, 02:02 PM
I can personally testify having heard one of their ads on the radio that outright said "Sure, it's expensive, but you need money now!"

As I said, I haven't paid attention recently. But that sounds a lot like what I remember; at least the 'Sure, it's expensive' part. I have the impression that the message was, 'Sure it's expensive; but not as expensive as getting payday loans.'

Jophiel
07-03-2013, 02:21 PM
Yeah, when I've heard it, it has been "Kind of expensive but cheaper than a payday loan!"

Miss Woodhouse
07-03-2013, 02:25 PM
I like the Allstate ad mentioned above. I giggle every time the girl says "silence." And if you haven't run into a man insisting that men are better drivers, you don't live in the same America I do. It's a very common stupidity. (Although if you are implying that the logic fails because her check does not necessarily support her claim that she is the better driver, you might have a point. However, she has a check and he doesn't. It's a good start to the debate. )

The Sizzler ad where the standard incompetent dad is about to feed his kids cereal for dinner (but they like it!) and is told he can just take them out for dinner. He's so surprised, because of course no warm blooded American knows that such things as restaurants exist and are a good alternative when you don't feel like cooking. I'm also annoyed at the implication that the father is so incompetent that he can't even manage spaghetti and a salad for dinner. It's either cold cereal or Sizzler. There are no other viable options for dinner even though that pantry looks pretty full.

Morbo
07-03-2013, 02:29 PM
I like the commercials for new TVs with a better, clearer, sharper picture, complete with some pictures showing on that TV to display its greatness. "Wow! Look how much clearer that TV looks....on my current TV!"

gaffa
07-03-2013, 03:10 PM
A local car dealer has been running radio ads where he's offering deals on trade-ins where he says something like "we need cars so badly that we'll offer you blah blah blah...".

You don't need cars you dishonest so-and-so. You're offering a transaction where a person drives in with one car and drives off with another, how would that help with a car shortage?

This same guy also says, "I believe everyone deserves to be driving a brand new car". Really? Then what's your plan for all of those trade-ins you need so desperately? Are you going to try to sell them to people that you believe deserve better?
I have to include this link to the only honest car dealer:

Not safe for work, but what are you doing watching this at work, anyway? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sZuN0xXWLc)

Rick
07-03-2013, 03:27 PM
A local car dealer has been running radio ads where he's offering deals on trade-ins where he says something like "we need cars so badly that we'll offer you blah blah blah...".

You don't need cars you dishonest so-and-so. You're offering a transaction where a person drives in with one car and drives off with another, how would that help with a car shortage?

This same guy also says, "I believe everyone deserves to be driving a brand new car". Really? Then what's your plan for all of those trade-ins you need so desperately? Are you going to try to sell them to people that you believe deserve better?

I know this may come as a shock but not everyone that buys a car has a trade in. Furthermore not every car that is traded in is kept and put on the used car line. Many are wholesaled or sometimes junked.
When the supply is short the dealer has to either go to an auction or advertise for used cars. Often both.

chargerrich
07-03-2013, 03:47 PM
The Radio Ads that try and start off as though you are coming back to your "normal station"... intro music... "welcome back, more great music in a second but I was just handed this special news for our listeners only *rustles paper*

The other is any car ad TV or Radio where they imply that they they are making only $50 on the car PLUS they will give us 3X your trade in value... in reality you are getting neither, but some poor idiot believes it i am sure.

Justin_Bailey
07-03-2013, 03:53 PM
And if you haven't run into a man insisting that men are better drivers, you don't live in the same America I do.

I've run into a few women who think other women are shittier drivers than men. What does that win me?

jsc1953
07-03-2013, 04:08 PM
any damn infomercial which makes it seem like people can't do mundane tasks such as folding a T-shirt without suffering life-threatening injuries..

30 Rock parodied this (some Tracy Jordan hair-brained idea about making sandwiches without bread), where their infomercial shows people hurting themselves handling a slice of bread.

Morbo
07-03-2013, 04:46 PM
If Internet "commercials" count, how about the obvious spam poster that says things like "my friend's sister-in-law makes $76/hour on the laptop. She has been without work for 6 months but last month her pay check was blah blah blah learn more from this website!"

Why on Earth does the random connection make this seem more legitimate? "Well I don't know who you are, but if your friends sister-in-law does this, wow!"

hkepotat
07-03-2013, 04:55 PM
I've said it before and I'll say it again: The most offensive commercials in terms of treating people like idiots are those sanctimonious, moral-high-ground-having, thetruth.org anti-smoking ads. Really?! It's 2013 and you actually think there's a person anywhere that doesn't know that smoking is bad for you?! I don't smoke, never have, don't like the smell (though I don't claim to have an imaginary 'allergy' to it) and yet these ads are so 'Refer Madness'-ly condescending they make me want to start smoking!! :mad:

Ultimately, the Tobacco companies paid for those ads, so I guess it only seems fair.

Jackmannii
07-03-2013, 05:04 PM
"We enforce a strict limit of X products per customer"

Riiiiiiight. Sure you do."To get this amazing offer, you must call in the next ten minutes...or the ten minutes after that...or the ten after that..., hell, any time this year we'll be happy to sell you the crap."

cochrane
07-03-2013, 05:13 PM
I've been seeing commercials for the Clear TV (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDlLwgPbxAY) digital TV antenna. The thing is, it's no better than something you can pick up at Target or Wal-Mart that will cost you less, too.

The grabber? They show footage of a TV on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico picking up a picture using the Clear TV antenna. Right below is a caption that says "TV image simulated."

Sherrerd
07-03-2013, 05:36 PM
A lot of Internet print ads use the phrase "weird trick" (or "weird tip"). There must be some market research somewhere that says that people like the idea of getting away with something (well, that's a given). More interestingly, apparently the market research reveals that if the trick or tip is called "weird," then some sort of folk authenticity is attributed to it by the slow-witted.

(I've never, ever clicked on one of these, so I don't think they are being shown to me especially; I think they really are fairly numerous. They're always for products or services that would appeal to the less-well-educated, such as cut-rate no-name auto insurance.)

Cuckoorex
07-03-2013, 05:49 PM
A lot of Internet print ads use the phrase "weird trick" (or "weird tip"). There must be some market research somewhere that says that people like the idea of getting away with something (well, that's a given). More interestingly, apparently the market research reveals that if the trick or tip is called "weird," then some sort of folk authenticity is attributed to it by the slow-witted.

(I've never, ever clicked on one of these, so I don't think they are being shown to me especially; I think they really are fairly numerous. They're always for products or services that would appeal to the less-well-educated, such as cut-rate no-name auto insurance.)

A close cousin of the "one weird trick" ads is the "local mom makes $1200 a month working from home" type of ads.

Harmonious Discord
07-03-2013, 06:03 PM
The Bing commercial where they say something like "more people prefer Bing over Google for the web's top searches".

Okay, that's cool, but what about the vast majority of my searches which probably aren't among "the web's top searches""? How do you do with those?

And just what the hell does "the web's top searches" mean anyway? The top 100? The top 2?

Top means number one. Search Number one and see what you get.

Tracijo67
07-03-2013, 06:08 PM
The commercials that offer a "buy one get one free" so long as you pay the separate processing fee for the "free" item. My son wants a stuffed toy that can be heated or frozen (serves as a heating or cooling pad). The toy itself is $15 (of course they market $14.95) and the shipping/handling is another $8. But wait --- there's more! They'll include a second corn-kernel stuffed cheap ass synthetic fabric poorly constructed animal for FREE! You just pay an extra $8 handling fee! I hate how they market these things to appeal to young kids. My son wants everything he sees -- slushee maker (bought it, doesn't work, cools beverage the same way a frozen mug does), Stompees, DREAMLITE, pillow pet, chillow. And on. And on.

Digital is the new Analog
07-03-2013, 06:23 PM
There used to be a radio commercial I heard just about every day..it included something like "If your last name stars with A through M, call immediately! Everyone else can call starting tomorrow."

Sherrerd
07-03-2013, 06:25 PM
A close cousin of the "one weird trick" ads is the "local mom makes $1200 a month working from home" type of ads.

Yeah, there are a lot of pretty shameless ads on the Internet. In many cases the old telephone and surface mail scams have simply been posted on the web without any changes. (I guess these qualify for this thread's "think you're an idiot" theme.)

Another type of Internet ad I've seen seems to assume that fans of Barack Obama will believe that he has Proclaimed that Mortgage Aid will be given to all--Just Click Here! (If he got a dime for every time his name or photo is used to fleece people, he'd be...pretty rich.) These are translations of the "official-looking envelope" mail scams, basically. The Government needs you to do this!--is the appeal to the dim.

I'm surprised we don't see any Nigerian Prince Needs Your Help Internet ads; maybe they are considered to be just a bridge too far.

aNewLeaf
07-03-2013, 06:27 PM
My son wants everything he sees.

Turn off the TV.

Or suggest he get a job.

Jophiel
07-03-2013, 06:32 PM
A close cousin of the "one weird trick" ads is the "local mom makes $1200 a month working from home" type of ads.
I love the "Doctors/Dentists/Florists/etc hate this Townsville mom for learning this one crazy secret!" ads. Always makes me think of a cabal of optometrists handing Francois the Shadow a briefcase full of money to "eliminate" Mrs. Dipswitz and her crazy secret.

Namkcalb
07-03-2013, 06:33 PM
Yeah, there are a lot of pretty shameless ads on the Internet. In many cases the old telephone and surface mail scams have simply been posted on the web without any changes. (I guess these qualify for this thread's "think you're an idiot" theme.)

Another type of Internet ad I've seen seems to assume that fans of Barack Obama will believe that he has Proclaimed that Mortgage Aid will be given to all--Just Click Here! (If he got a dime for every time his name or photo is used to fleece people, he'd be...pretty rich.) These are translations of the "official-looking envelope" mail scams, basically. The Government needs you to do this!--is the appeal to the dim.

I'm surprised we don't see any Nigerian Prince Needs Your Help Internet ads; maybe they are considered to be just a bridge too far.
Nitpick... Keeenyahn prince.:)

jz78817
07-03-2013, 07:15 PM
I've been seeing commercials for the Clear TV (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDlLwgPbxAY) digital TV antenna. The thing is, it's no better than something you can pick up at Target or Wal-Mart that will cost you less, too.

The grabber? They show footage of a TV on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico picking up a picture using the Clear TV antenna. Right below is a caption that says "TV image simulated."

that part I could understand; I doubt they'd have the budget/equipment to shoot in such conditions and not have the image on the TV washed out by the ambient light.

what I take away from that commercial is how they've taken the way people watched TV for decades and presented it like some hot new secret thing. Yay, they're hawking a directional UHF antenna.

Sherrerd
07-03-2013, 07:17 PM
I expect that people who believe in a conspiracy surrounding a particular birth on 4 August 1961, are not coincidentally among those most reliably responsive to the commercials and ads discussed in this thread.

JohnT
07-03-2013, 07:28 PM
These commercials don't think I'm an idiot as I'm not in the target audience:

Education Connection where the young lass is "dancing" in her boxer shorts while a song is exhorting the benefits of online education. Usually they give you a web address like www.dumbass.com/education/47

Then there's the one with people who are bent out of shape because their 486's are running amazingly slow... until, that is, they go to www.fastpc.com (name changed to protect the stupid.) I assume that they have programmed their viruses to kill all the other viruses on your computer before hijacking your data. :)

Feyrat
07-03-2013, 07:33 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTcOrqYTM4Y

This one certainly thinks women are idiots, anyway.

"OMG this site makes it okay for lil women like us to shop without a man along!"

Seriously, every time it comes on I want to brain someone.

Harmonious Discord
07-03-2013, 07:58 PM
The drunk driving commercials that only have white males in them. Women of any race and men of any other race never drive drunk.

Justin_Bailey
07-03-2013, 08:34 PM
Education Connection where the young lass is "dancing" in her boxer shorts while a song is exhorting the benefits of online education. Usually they give you a web address like www.dumbass.com/education/47

How dare you besmirch that young lady's reputation! She's in boxer shorts and a ridiculously tight and low-cut tank top while doing homework.

JohnT
07-03-2013, 08:49 PM
She looks like a fine student and God forbid I should ever besmirch any young lady who dresses in proper study attire. I guess I was jealous because the girls never studied that way when I was in school... at least around me, they didn't. ;)

Or... :(

Jragon
07-03-2013, 09:25 PM
I think my favorite are all the popcorn boxes advertising the popcorn as WHOLE GRAIN!!!!!!!(!!!!!)

My mental response is always, "Well... yes, yes it is. I suppose I can't really argue with that. I mean, it's probably cat poop free too! Put THAT on a box and sell it."

Mister Rik
07-03-2013, 09:43 PM
I think my favorite are all the popcorn boxes advertising the popcorn as WHOLE GRAIN!!!!!!!(!!!!!)

My mental response is always, "Well... yes, yes it is. I suppose I can't really argue with that. I mean, it's probably cat poop free too! Put THAT on a box and sell it."
Wait until the decide to label it "GLUTEN FREE!"

Zago
07-03-2013, 09:54 PM
There's this furniture store here in the Boston area that constantly compares their prices to the 'big name brands' implying that their furniture will give you equal satisfaction because it costs less (as advertised it can be 25-75% less). Now, how many of you think that you can pay 25-75% less (retail) for a product of equal value? I always shop around and have found that these sort of statements guarantee crap.

My favorite line is 'bonded leather, everywhere you sit!' First off, bonded leather is to leather like particle board is to wood. Secondly, if it's bonded leather 'everywhere you sit', what's the rest of it covered in, plastic?

Unpronounceable
07-03-2013, 10:20 PM
And just what the hell does "the web's top searches" mean anyway? The top 100? The top 2?

It means porn - Google's safe-search changes have apparently made it...inconvenient.

Mister Rik
07-03-2013, 10:30 PM
I know this may come as a shock but not everyone that buys a car has a trade in. Furthermore not every car that is traded in is kept and put on the used car line. Many are wholesaled or sometimes junked.
When the supply is short the dealer has to either go to an auction or advertise for used cars. Often both.

This. I don't have the money or the credit rating to buy a new car. If I go to a car lot, I'm just going to buy the car I can afford, and if I trade in my current car, I can almost guarantee the dealer is going to send that 21-year-old piece of shit to the junkyard.

The dealers know they need used cars to sell.

Voyager
07-04-2013, 12:23 AM
How dare you besmirch that young lady's reputation! She's in boxer shorts and a ridiculously tight and low-cut tank top while doing homework.

Cue J. Geils.

Robot Arm
07-04-2013, 01:36 AM
I think this is an example where the advertisers know their target customers are idiots.The OP didn't rule that out, did he?

DrDeth
07-04-2013, 01:48 AM
Wait until the decide to label it "GLUTEN FREE!"

Did you know that SUGAR is Fat Free!:eek:

etv78
07-04-2013, 02:07 AM
"To get this amazing offer, you must call in the next ten minutes...or the ten minutes after that...or the ten after that..., hell, any time this year we'll be happy to sell you the crap."

The Master addressed this, no?

amarinth
07-04-2013, 03:00 AM
I like the Allstate ad mentioned above. I giggle every time the girl says "silence." And if you haven't run into a man insisting that men are better drivers, you don't live in the same America I do.I have run into those men. I don't want the woman in the commercial on my side because her "evidence" to the contrary is such utter crap.

"Better" and "safer" (which is supposedly the thing that the check is supposed to be rewarding) are not synonyms. It is possible for the statements "women are safer drivers than men" and "men are better drivers than women to both be true."
Even taking better and safer to be the same thing, which again, they're not, "men are better drivers than women" doesn't mean that all men are better than all women nor does it speak to the driving skills of any specific man or any specific woman. Her having a check says nothing about the driving skills of the average man or the average woman nor how the two (nor the groups as a whole) compare to each other.
And even given that safer = better and that the statement is taken to mean that all men are better drivers than all women, the check is not given to a certain percentage of drivers - it's given to anyone who meets a certain threshold (no accidents in the past 6 months). So it's possible that they give that check out to 90% of their customers if 90% don't get into an accident. Her having the check doesn't place her among the best/safest drivers, it just places her above the very worst.
and that's just a start.
I don't know why this particular commercial bothers me more than other equally awful commercials. But it does. It feels like an insult to my intelligence because I think they want me to identify with that idiot.

Jragon
07-04-2013, 03:17 AM
Oh yeah, the bookstore at my old university recently got a new slogan:

"We do more than exchange product for money"

I used to love going to that bookstore, I kid you not that I literally avoid it now because that slogan is so braindead, almost out of spite. Just for them thinking I'd be too dumb to notice how phenomenally bad it is. I mean, that's freshman communications major midterm project braindead. It reads like a line from a marketing textbook that somebody just copied. Like

Book: "When writing your catchphrase, make sure to ensure the customer that you do more than exchange product for money"
Marketing Student 1: "Well, why don't we just not beat around the bush and say that? After all it says to 'be direct and honest' earlier in the book"
Marketing Student 2: "Brilliant!"

Mister Rik
07-04-2013, 04:42 AM
Did you know that SUGAR is Fat Free!:eek:

I just hope they don't find out that water is not organic!

Jragon
07-04-2013, 05:04 AM
I just hope they don't find out that water is not organic!

And it's a chemical.

Robot Arm
07-04-2013, 05:21 AM
Oh yeah, the bookstore at my old university recently got a new slogan:

"We do more than exchange product for money"I hate the term "product" in that context. At some level of business studies or management, you can probably talk about such things in the abstract. ("Send over fifty pounds of book, right away!") But I'm not on that level. I don't just want a book, I want the right book. And I want the people I deal with in a store to have more regard for their inventory than just calling it "product".

Jragon
07-04-2013, 05:37 AM
I hate the term "product" in that context. At some level of business studies or management, you can probably talk about such things in the abstract. ("Send over fifty pounds of book, right away!") But I'm not on that level. I don't just want a book, I want the right book. And I want the people I deal with in a store to have more regard for their inventory than just calling it "product".

To be fair, even though it's a "bookstore" in reality it's more like a general university supply store. It's the place on campus with computers (meaning: you can buy Macbooks and Dells and stuff there, it's not a computer lab), headphones, hideous swag with university logos and mascots on it, stationary, pencils, and so on. The "bookstore" bit is mostly just a legacy name because that's where you go to get your books for the semester, 90% of the time people don't go there for books. I don't think you can get much more specific than "product" when describing their inventory.

Robot Arm
07-04-2013, 05:51 AM
To be fair, even though it's a "bookstore" in reality it's more like a general university supply store. It's the place on campus with computers (meaning: you can buy Macbooks and Dells and stuff there, it's not a computer lab), headphones, hideous swag with university logos and mascots on it, stationary, pencils, and so on. The "bookstore" bit is mostly just a legacy name because that's where you go to get your books for the semester, 90% of the time people don't go there for books. I don't think you can get much more specific than "product" when describing their inventory.I know exactly the kind of bookstore you're talking about, but I stand by my point. Let the beancounters talk about "product", just-in-time-delivery strategies, cost/expense ratios, and whatever the fuck else they think is important. And it probably is important, but not to me when I'm shopping for something. Somebody at that store needs to care enough about what they sell that they don't just see it all as generic.

Jragon
07-04-2013, 05:54 AM
I know exactly the kind of bookstore you're talking about, but I stand by my point. Let the beancounters talk about "product", just-in-time-delivery strategies, cost/expense ratios, and whatever the fuck else they think is important. And it probably is important, but not to me when I'm shopping for something. Somebody at that store needs to care enough about what they sell that they don't just see it all as generic.

Well, I think you're getting at what they're trying to get at with their stupid slogan. They're trying (and failing) to say that they don't just have "products" which they take your money and give you. They do more than that, they'll help you find your book, or the best pen, or whatever.

They just made the stupidest slogan possible to try and say it.

Nava
07-04-2013, 05:56 AM
Wait until the decide to label it "GLUTEN FREE!"

More and more, they are labeled so; well, some of them... those which actually pass muster for it. Some manufacturers of corn-based products haven't been able to get the label because they had detectable levels of gluten through cross-contamination from other products.

Given how often I run into people who seem to think that "coeliac child" means "can't eat anything kids like", more labeling is good.

Smeghead
07-04-2013, 08:20 AM
Oh yeah, the bookstore at my old university recently got a new slogan:

"We do more than exchange product for money"

My first thought was, "for instance?" I mean, that is the entire purpose of a store - any kind of store. The only exception I can think of is if they're also offering to exchange some sort of services for money. Or giving stuff away for free.

davidm
07-04-2013, 10:57 AM
I know this may come as a shock but not everyone that buys a car has a trade in. Furthermore not every car that is traded in is kept and put on the used car line. Many are wholesaled or sometimes junked.
When the supply is short the dealer has to either go to an auction or advertise for used cars. Often both.Actually it does not come as a shock. I'm not sure why you think it would, unless you're implying that I'm stupid.

What does everyone not having a trade in have to do with anything I said? The ad is very obviously a come on to sell new cars. The dealer is simply trying to meet his need for profit. There's nothing wrong with that, but his claims about needing cars and especially his claim about his heartfelt belief that everyone should be driving a new car are disingenuous at best.

In any case, I think the OP intended this to be a lighthearted thread about ads that treat you like you're stupid, not an argument about the operation of car dealerships.

Hail Ants
07-04-2013, 11:10 AM
Yes, there are many smokers still in denial. The ads are good.In terms of the developed world (the only place that sees these ads) and barring any mental illness, head trauma etc., I categorically refuse to believe this. thetruth.org is the same as PETA, they are not about actually providing any practical help to the ones they claim to be, they are about being seen trying to help them. IOW they are narcissistic, selfish, butt-in-skis helping nothing other than their own inflated egos.

I have more respect for Big Tobacco than I do these pretentious, self-righteous, hipster douchebags. At least BT has admitted, "Yeah, we sell cancer, deal with it like an adult..."

Sigmagirl
07-04-2013, 12:16 PM
There's a new TV commercial with a woman sitting ALONE in her kitchen, unhappily eating a limp salad. In the foreground, on the counter, is a luscious cake with a big wedge cut out of it. There is no dome or cover of any kind on the cake plate.

The woman gives up on her desultory dinner, rises and walks toward the cake as though she's sneaking up on it. She's like a villain in a melodrama; all she needs is a mustache to twirl. Then it is revealed she's not going for the cake but for a "diet" candy bar, which she enjoys almost to the point of orgasm with a glass of water.

1. The cake is all dried out anyway; how long has it been sitting there without any covering? Who ate that big wedge out of it?
2. THERE'S NOBODY ELSE IN THE KITCHEN. Does she think the cake is going to scuttle away like a cartoon character?
3. Lady, if you want cake, eat cake. If you're trying to avoid the temptation of eating the cake, cover up the cake and put it away.

Cuckoorex
07-04-2013, 12:22 PM
There's a new TV commercial with a woman sitting ALONE in her kitchen, unhappily eating a limp salad. In the foreground, on the counter, is a luscious cake with a big wedge cut out of it. There is no dome or cover of any kind on the cake plate.

The woman gives up on her desultory dinner, rises and walks toward the cake as though she's sneaking up on it. She's like a villain in a melodrama; all she needs is a mustache to twirl. Then it is revealed she's not going for the cake but for a "diet" candy bar, which she enjoys almost to the point of orgasm with a glass of water.

1. The cake is all dried out anyway; how long has it been sitting there without any covering? Who ate that big wedge out of it?
2. THERE'S NOBODY ELSE IN THE KITCHEN. Does she think the cake is going to scuttle away like a cartoon character?
3. Lady, if you want cake, eat cake. If you're trying to avoid the temptation of eating the cake, cover up the cake and put it away.

Plus, she's been sitting in there for how long, suffering through her salad, obviously knowing that her beloved diet candy bar is just sitting there waiting to be eaten. Maybe the cake doesn't scuttle away, but the candy bar tends to burrow into the floor if you startle it?

Tracijo67
07-04-2013, 12:42 PM
Turn off the TV.

Or suggest he get a job.

Now there's a novel idea that has never been suggested before.

He's six. I suppose I could pimp him out to a developing country that doesn't have pesky qualms about child labor.

The kind of labor, in fact, that probably ends with Stompees being offered for the low, low price of ....

Smeghead
07-04-2013, 12:43 PM
In terms of the developed world (the only place that sees these ads) and barring any mental illness, head trauma etc., I categorically refuse to believe this. thetruth.org is the same as PETA, they are not about actually providing any practical help to the ones they claim to be, they are about being seen trying to help them. IOW they are narcissistic, selfish, butt-in-skis helping nothing other than their own inflated egos.

I have more respect for Big Tobacco than I do these pretentious, self-righteous, hipster douchebags. At least BT has admitted, "Yeah, we sell cancer, deal with it like an adult..."

Are you not aware of where The Truth came from? As part of the settlement of a major lawsuit against tobacco companies, they were required to fund an awareness campaign about the dangers of tobacco use. The Truth is what came out of that. It's an organization funded by tobacco companies, as ordered by the court, to educate people on tobacco use. There's certainly room for debate about how effective their messages are, but their motivations have nothing whatsoever to do with narcissism, selfishness, or egos, nor with pretentious, self-righteous, hipster douchebags. It's more than a little odd to say that you respect big tobacco more than the truth, when they're essentially the same thing.

Mister Rik
07-04-2013, 01:15 PM
I hate the term "product" in that context. At some level of business studies or management, you can probably talk about such things in the abstract. ("Send over fifty pounds of book, right away!") But I'm not on that level. I don't just want a book, I want the right book. And I want the people I deal with in a store to have more regard for their inventory than just calling it "product".

You'd love a couple of local businesses where I live:

Product Supply Northwest (they seem to sell a variety of bricks and paving stones, and related ... product)

and

Western Materials (apparently a building supply store)

DrDeth
07-04-2013, 02:48 PM
In terms of the developed world (the only place that sees these ads) and barring any mental illness, head trauma etc., I categorically refuse to believe this.
I have more respect for Big Tobacco than I do these pretentious, self-righteous, hipster douchebags. At least BT has admitted, "Yeah, we sell cancer, deal with it like an adult..."

Right here on these boards we have had posters claim they smoke because they want to, they are not addicted. Denial.

And, they have done that at the point of a gun. Hardly a honest admission.

QuickSilver
07-04-2013, 03:43 PM
I mentioned it elsewhere but the commercial for Michelob Ultra with the woman wearing that blue toga/tarp/wrap/curtain dress. She looks like she left a frat house in a hurry and just grabbed the first set of drapes she could find.

Also, every Geico commercial with that guy made out of money. It's just stupid and annoying. (...aren't they all.)

Jophiel
07-04-2013, 03:54 PM
Way back when, I saw one of those "Truth" commercials that breathlessly told me that tobacco contained urea... which is found in urine! Horrors! Big Tobacco is making me smoke pee!

Of course, urea is one of the most common fertilizing agents in the world. Most agricultural products are produced using it. It's also used to brown pretzels, added to gum, a component of many toothpastes and found in numerous beauty products. Just because something is found in urine doesn't make it urine.

Tess
07-04-2013, 06:47 PM
A few restaurants have done commercials insisting eating out is cheaper than cooking for yourself. To 'prove' it they show one plate of their food for, say $15, then show a cart of the groceries you'd need to cook the same meal. Oh noes! More than $15! Maybe as much as $25 to buy it all.
Except most ingredients don't come in single-serving packages, so that super expensive cart of groceries is buying you four or five meals with food left over.

Werekoala
07-04-2013, 08:45 PM
Another radio ad (or several, actually) - "Go to www.holyshitI'mgonnaberich42.com today!"

What happened to www.holyshitI'mgonnaberich 0-41? Really?

Jophiel
07-04-2013, 10:01 PM
I've heard they use the different addresses to dertermine how successful ads were in a select region. You're in region #42, someone a ways down yonder is getting commercials for holyshiti'mgonnaberich41.com

tim314
07-04-2013, 10:02 PM
I have run into those men. I don't want the woman in the commercial on my side because her "evidence" to the contrary is such utter crap.

"Better" and "safer" (which is supposedly the thing that the check is supposed to be rewarding) are not synonyms. It is possible for the statements "women are safer drivers than men" and "men are better drivers than women to both be true."
Even taking better and safer to be the same thing, which again, they're not, "men are better drivers than women" doesn't mean that all men are better than all women nor does it speak to the driving skills of any specific man or any specific woman. Her having a check says nothing about the driving skills of the average man or the average woman nor how the two (nor the groups as a whole) compare to each other.
And even given that safer = better and that the statement is taken to mean that all men are better drivers than all women, the check is not given to a certain percentage of drivers - it's given to anyone who meets a certain threshold (no accidents in the past 6 months). So it's possible that they give that check out to 90% of their customers if 90% don't get into an accident. Her having the check doesn't place her among the best/safest drivers, it just places her above the very worst.
and that's just a start.
I don't know why this particular commercial bothers me more than other equally awful commercials. But it does. It feels like an insult to my intelligence because I think they want me to identify with that idiot.
Thank you! Stupidest commercial ever.

"You said that men were better drivers than women. But I didn't get in an accident for six whole months! Guess that showed you, bozo."

If you think not getting in an accident for 6 months is something to crow about, you might in fact be a terrible driver.

I'm not saying men are better drivers than women, nor do I believe that. But that particular woman is an idiot. Or rather, the men or women who wrote her dialogue are.

tim314
07-04-2013, 10:08 PM
Also, I have to give a shout out to that horrible Yaz commercial were the one woman lists all the disclaimers.

Her idiot friends: "Wow, you really know your stuff!"
Disclaimer girl: "I didn't go to medical school for nothing!"

Yeah, because that's what people do in medical school, don't you know. Memorize the side-effects of every medicine, so they can recite them to their friends.

Bonus points because Yaz was later sued (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drospirenone#Litigation_and_regulatory_penalties) for not adequately warning people of the risks of their medication. Maybe she should have gone to law school.

Maserschmidt
07-04-2013, 10:21 PM
Allstate "men are better drivers" commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQR8rj2BO-8). It's a logic disaster. Obviously all of the characters in the commercial are idiots, but do they think that the rest of America has equally bad reasoning skills? It is so bad, it makes me question Allstate's actuarial department.

Their actuaries are geniuses, if you think about it. They're charging everyone extra so they can send dividend checks to most of them, and make them feel all happy inside. And it works.

aruvqan
07-04-2013, 10:33 PM
A few restaurants have done commercials insisting eating out is cheaper than cooking for yourself. To 'prove' it they show one plate of their food for, say $15, then show a cart of the groceries you'd need to cook the same meal. Oh noes! More than $15! Maybe as much as $25 to buy it all.
Except most ingredients don't come in single-serving packages, so that super expensive cart of groceries is buying you four or five meals with food left over.
And those herbs and spices at $2.50 a bottle, that you will be using up at about a teaspoon or so at a time will last you through probably 8 or 10 recipes ... that cute round carton of salt that you pay $2.00 for will last something like a year unless you take to brining stuff.

Though inversely, you don't tend to think of how much your home garbage and recycling costs, water and sewage costs, soaps for dishwashing, and electricity for cooling the fridge, possibly heating up a microwave and oven or possibly gas for an oven and preparation time may cost. Granted, everything but labor is probably under $1, and you can value your labor for shopping and preparing the food as you like.

I think of going out as paying for someone to do all the work so I don't have to. Works for me in the long run.

etv78
07-05-2013, 12:15 AM
The Master addressed this, no?

Putting "commercials" in search, he indeed did discuss this.

Johnny L.A.
07-05-2013, 12:23 AM
Exactly two months after MsRobyn wrote the staff report, Billy Mays died.

Coincidence? :dubious:

Hail Ants
07-05-2013, 12:54 PM
Are you not aware of where The Truth came from? As part of the settlement of a major lawsuit against tobacco companies, they were required to fund an awareness campaign about the dangers of tobacco use. The Truth is what came out of that. It's an organization funded by tobacco companies, as ordered by the court, to educate people on tobacco use. There's certainly room for debate about how effective their messages are, but their motivations have nothing whatsoever to do with narcissism, selfishness, or egos, nor with pretentious, self-righteous, hipster douchebags. It's more than a little odd to say that you respect big tobacco more than the truth, when they're essentially the same thing.Well, no, I admit I didn't know that. But it still doesn't really change things. Those commercials have an incredibly pretentious, condescending tone to them, like a parent scolding an infant. And if you express overwrought (supposedly) genuine concern over the health of complete strangers smoking, you're not being altruistic, you're being terribly inappropriate. Like telling an overweight stranger at a buffet, "You know, you really should lay off the saturated fats". Go F yourself!

Morbo
07-05-2013, 01:20 PM
Another current one that irritates the shit out of me is the guy that's talking to a guy from State Farm at 3am and his wife catches him and thinks he's talking to his mistress.

The whole thing is beyond stupid. Why the hell is this guy calling at 3am? Why did the guy answer the phone? Why did he get out of bed and go downstairs to answer it? Why does his wife fail to realize it's a man on the phone? Why does she ask him what he's wearing?

And what's the point - that if you get State Farm they'll be so dedicated that you'll get calls from them at 3am? Sign me up!

alted315
07-05-2013, 01:35 PM
To be fair, I think most focus groups confirm this.:D

Hey now! All generalzations are wrong

Son of a Rich
07-05-2013, 01:41 PM
The drunk driving commercials that only have white males in them. Women of any race and men of any other race never drive drunk.

"Make no mistake- if you drink and drive you will get stopped!" Yeah right. I'd bet about 95% of patrons leaving bars in their cars are over the limit. Not enough cops in the world to catch them all.

Just Ed
07-05-2013, 01:52 PM
Another current one that irritates the shit out of me is the guy that's talking to a guy from State Farm at 3am and his wife catches him and thinks he's talking to his mistress.

The whole thing is beyond stupid. Why the hell is this guy calling at 3am? Why did the guy answer the phone? Why did he get out of bed and go downstairs to answer it? Why does his wife fail to realize it's a man on the phone? Why does she ask him what he's wearing?

And what's the point - that if you get State Farm they'll be so dedicated that you'll get calls from them at 3am? Sign me up!I think this commercial is hilarious; I just love that the two guys are so deadpan throughout while the wife is hysterical. And no, State Farm didn't call the guy, he called them (the point being you can call State Farm at any time). As to why you would feel the need to call your insurance guy at 3 in the morning, I dunno, maybe you have insomnia and can't stop thinking about your coverage. The rest of it is obvious; hysterical wife doesn't believe husband that it's State Farm he's talking to, so sarcastically asks the "mistress" what she's wearing, which elicits a nonplussed "Uh, khakis" from Jake. At State Farm. "She sounds hideous!" "Well, she's a guy, so . . . " :)

DrFidelius
07-05-2013, 02:14 PM
. . . as if "she's a guy" would really help the situation.

Jophiel
07-05-2013, 02:17 PM
There's a radio commercial that says I can call to get this secret tip to going into any bank and walking out with real silver coins!

I keep thinking "Am I asking for [date] quarters? I'm asking for [date] quarters, aren't I? Is it asking for [date] quarters?"

I don't know exact dates but I know some coins were minted from silver, particularly during WWII when other metals were used for the war effort.

DrFidelius
07-05-2013, 02:23 PM
There's a radio commercial that says I can call to get this secret tip to going into any bank and walking out with real silver coins!

I keep thinking "Am I asking for [date] quarters? I'm asking for [date] quarters, aren't I? Is it asking for [date] quarters?"

I don't know exact dates but I know some coins were minted from silver, particularly during WWII when other metals were used for the war effort.

Some coins were minted from silver, back when coins were a government guarantee that this lump of silver contained exactly this value of silver. A quarter was exactly 1/4th the weight of a silver dollar, a dime was exactly 1/10th the weight of a dollar, and the stamped designs on the obverse and reverse and the milled edges proved that no one had shaved off any of the metal to short-change you.

So, all quarters minted before (I think) 1965 were solid silver.

Saint Cad
07-05-2013, 02:52 PM
Are you not aware of where The Truth came from? As part of the settlement of a major lawsuit against tobacco companies, they were required to fund an awareness campaign about the dangers of tobacco use. The Truth is what came out of that. It's an organization funded by tobacco companies, as ordered by the court, to educate people on tobacco use. There's certainly room for debate about how effective their messages are, but their motivations have nothing whatsoever to do with narcissism, selfishness, or egos, nor with pretentious, self-righteous, hipster douchebags. It's more than a little odd to say that you respect big tobacco more than the truth, when they're essentially the same thing.

thetruth is not synonymous with Big Tobacco although funded by theme. In fact, as part of the settlement, thetruth was not allowed to bash tobacco companies - just smoking. BT complained and won because the first few commercial were all anti-tobacco companies.

LawMonkey
07-05-2013, 02:54 PM
My personal favorites are car commercials, which invariably contain the disclaimer "Professional driver on closed course," any time the vehicle is moving. Occasionally, the driver is doing something mildly dangerous, like skidding on wet pavement to show off the car's traction control. Most of the time, however, they're driving the car down the road in a perfectly safe and sedate manner. Gee, thanks for implying that your customers are too incompetant to actually drive your car.

Mazda--my Mazda, the Mazda whose 'speed 3 I enthusiastically drive, whose "Mazdaspeed" hat I proudly wear atop my noggin--has taken this a step further with their recent commercials for some SUV or other. It includes fine print like "Cars cannot perform a rail slide." "Or jump over buildings." Well, no shit. I get that they think they're being clever/cute, but mostly, they're just being stupid.

Anyway, I don't know how you folks can pick just one commercial. I could probably list the commercials that do *not* cause my teeth to clench and my blood pressure to spike on one hand. If it weren't for my DVR, I'd never watch TV.

jsc1953
07-05-2013, 02:57 PM
There's a radio commercial that says I can call to get this secret tip to going into any bank and walking out with real silver coins!

I keep thinking "Am I asking for [date] quarters? I'm asking for [date] quarters, aren't I? Is it asking for [date] quarters?"

I don't know exact dates but I know some coins were minted from silver, particularly during WWII when other metals were used for the war effort.

I think it was not just quarters, Dr Fidelius, but dimes, halves and dollars were also (mostly) silver.

You're probably thinking of the fact that in 1943, pennies were made out of steel? zinc? due to wartime shortages of copper.

Digital is the new Analog
07-05-2013, 03:34 PM
The Rosetta Stone commercial that was just on - something like
I took Spanish in high school, and was a miserable failure. Then I saw Rosetta Stone, and it was a lot of fun!


Um..doesn't really tell us if you learned the language, does it?

Soylent Juicy
07-05-2013, 04:04 PM
Any commercial that has "Dramatization - Do Not Attempt" in itty-bitty letters at the bottom of the screen.

...also, I don't know about you guys but I think anybody who actually does business with Western Sky Loans already IS an idiot.

Dewey Finn
07-05-2013, 05:17 PM
There's a radio commercial that says I can call to get this secret tip to going into any bank and walking out with real silver coins!

I keep thinking "Am I asking for [date] quarters? I'm asking for [date] quarters, aren't I? Is it asking for [date] quarters?"

I don't know exact dates but I know some coins were minted from silver, particularly during WWII when other metals were used for the war effort.
If that's really the plan the commercial is proposing, it's obviously ridiculous. Do you imagine that any bank has its coins sorted by mint year?

Cuckoorex
07-05-2013, 05:31 PM
Mazda--my Mazda, the Mazda whose 'speed 3 I enthusiastically drive, whose "Mazdaspeed" hat I proudly wear atop my noggin--has taken this a step further with their recent commercials for some SUV or other. It includes fine print like "Cars cannot perform a rail slide." "Or jump over buildings." Well, no shit. I get that they think they're being clever/cute, but mostly, they're just being stupid.


I think there might have been a similar disclaimer for the commercials that showed a truck (forget which make) surviving a meteor strike, getting eaten by the Loch Ness Monster, etc. "Do not attempt?" I don't know how I'd even START to attempt those.

Zago
07-05-2013, 05:41 PM
Here in Boston, when that Western Sky commercial airs, it always repeats, within seconds. This has happened so many times that can't believe it's not intentional, but why?

Also, on my first or second viewing of the ad I thought the spokeswoman was attractive and well chosen for a spot that basically wants to rip people off. Now I think of her as the embodiment of the devil.

Jophiel
07-05-2013, 06:08 PM
If that's really the plan the commercial is proposing, it's obviously ridiculous. Do you imagine that any bank has its coins sorted by mint year?
I've heard of people making change for a dollar and asking "Do you have any 1962 quarters?" while doing it. I'm sure this is met with a great deal of enthusiasm from the teller.

Roderick Femm
07-05-2013, 06:18 PM
If that's really the plan the commercial is proposing, it's obviously ridiculous. Do you imagine that any bank has its coins sorted by mint year?Probably not. You can go and buy "junk silver" coins (American quarters and dimes, mostly, pre-1965) by weight, but at coin dealers, not at banks. Unless they are in collectible condition, they are sold based on the silver value, because these coins were 90% silver by weight (if I remember correctly).


Roddy

ruh-roh
07-05-2013, 06:54 PM
For me, just about any commercial, anytime, anywhere. Simply because I am so sick and tired of being bombarded with advertising every waking moment of the day. The marketeers and all of their cutesie tricks are ruining this planet for me. I refuse to watch a television show "live". Praised be the DVR.

"We're here for you between paydays" is staring at me from the top of of my "Fighting Ignorance Since 1972" web site as I type. (Anyone else see the irony).

But more to the ops point, especially ads that they flood the airwaves with the same ad over and over. What do they think, that I didn't understand the content the first 10 times I heard it this hour. I've quit (on a long term basis) listening to some radio stations because they seem to have a propensity for accepting those types of campaigns.

I once thought of making a list of the most annoying adverts and purposely avoiding those products, but then I would be falling into their insidious web of getting me to remember their product.

Maybe we could start a rumor that a giant space goat (or some such thing) was going to eat the planet and then build some starships to escape in. We could then put all of the marketeers on the first one and the rest of us would promise to come along later.
(with apologies to the late great D.Adams)

Dewey Finn
07-05-2013, 07:23 PM
Here in Boston, when that Western Sky commercial airs, it always repeats, within seconds. This has happened so many times that can't believe it's not intentional, but why?
Obviously, because people will better remember the company and the product through repetition. And I notice that during the commercial, there is a note at the bottom of the screen saying something like, "Western Sky Financial LLC, is a 100% Native American-owned business operating on a Native American Reservation." It's almost like they're saying that their product is one they wouldn't be able to to offer were they operating in mainstream American society. Perhaps because of the usury laws in most states?

cochrane
07-05-2013, 08:17 PM
Maybe we could start a rumor that a giant space goat (or some such thing) was going to eat the planet and then build some starships to escape in. We could then put all of the marketeers on the first one and the rest of us would promise to come along later.
(with apologies to the late great D.Adams)
That sounds needlessly cruel...to whichever civilization on some other planet that they would end up begetting. Unless we sterilize them first.

movingfinger
07-06-2013, 02:57 AM
I think Western Sky Financial wants you to feel guilty about what your ancestors did to the noble red man: "Hey, look at all the terrible things you did to us, you genocidic racist. The least you can do to soothe your liberal guilt is to let us screw you around a bit. I'm Sitting Bull, and I approve this message"

Rick
07-06-2013, 11:40 AM
Actually it does not come as a shock. I'm not sure why you think it would, unless you're implying that I'm stupid.

What does everyone not having a trade in have to do with anything I said? The ad is very obviously a come on to sell new cars. The dealer is simply trying to meet his need for profit. There's nothing wrong with that, but his claims about needing cars and especially his claim about his heartfelt belief that everyone should be driving a new car are disingenuous at best.

In any case, I think the OP intended this to be a lighthearted thread about ads that treat you like you're stupid, not an argument about the operation of car dealerships.
You are the one who wrote

You don't need cars you dishonest so-and-so. You're offering a transaction where a person drives in with one car and drives off with another, how would that help with a car shortage?I pointed out that this is a false statement as
A) Not everyone trades in a Car when buying another car. Their last car might have been totaled, stolen, repoed, junked, or they might have given it away. Maybe this is an additional car, or maybe they sold the car themselves.
And
B) Not every car traded in is kept by the dealer.
Bottom line is not every person drives in in one car and drives out in another.
Car dealers do run short of used cars.

JohnT
07-06-2013, 01:24 PM
Anecdotes != evidence and all that, but to back up Rick's claim, I'm buying a car sometime in the next couple of weeks but am not trading in another.

Sherrerd
07-06-2013, 03:12 PM
I think Western Sky Financial wants you to feel guilty about what your ancestors did to the noble red man: "Hey, look at all the terrible things you did to us, you genocidic racist. The least you can do to soothe your liberal guilt is to let us screw you around a bit. I'm Sitting Bull, and I approve this message"

I think you're right about that. Also, they are playing on the stereotypical image of American Indians/Native Americans/First Peoples* that's common (at least in American pop culture): spiritual people, close to the earth, who would never engage in any sort of underhanded dealing or exploitation of others. (That's for the white man to do!)

There's a sort of "you can trust us; we're mystical people, very unworldly; we wouldn't even know how to take advantage of you" element to the pitch. Whoever is reaping the profits of that business is a very cynical group of sharks, perfectly willing to trash the reputations of genuine indigenous peoples.


*different people prefer different terms.

Tess
07-06-2013, 04:58 PM
And those herbs and spices at $2.50 a bottle, that you will be using up at about a teaspoon or so at a time will last you through probably 8 or 10 recipes ... that cute round carton of salt that you pay $2.00 for will last something like a year unless you take to brining stuff.

Though inversely, you don't tend to think of how much your home garbage and recycling costs, water and sewage costs, soaps for dishwashing, and electricity for cooling the fridge, possibly heating up a microwave and oven or possibly gas for an oven and preparation time may cost. Granted, everything but labor is probably under $1, and you can value your labor for shopping and preparing the food as you like.

I think of going out as paying for someone to do all the work so I don't have to. Works for me in the long run.

If they just came out and said, "You know you're too damn lazy to cook, then scrub a bunch of pots. Just shell out a few bucks and let us take care of it." I'd likely respond, "You make a lot of sense, where are my keys?"

The way they pose it in the commercials suggests I'm supposed to believe I eat an entire sack of flour at one meal.

Jophiel
07-06-2013, 07:45 PM
Just saw a commercial for some swiveling wall power strip thing that said "Some power strips can cost you as much as $100!"

Yeah, if you buy your power strips out of the Skymall catalog, I guess. Or special purpose strips that no casual home owner would want/use.

typoink
07-08-2013, 03:46 PM
Right here on these boards we have had posters claim they smoke because they want to, they are not addicted. Denial.

And, they have done that at the point of a gun. Hardly a honest admission.

Do they claim they smoke because they want to, or do they claim they smoke because they want to, smoke regularly, AND are not addicted?

The latter is, well, silly. Of course they're also addicted that point. The former sounds like you're dismissing the idea that people might want to smoke. Smoking is pleasurable. It's not just about "looking cool."

FrigidLizard
07-08-2013, 05:26 PM
what I take away from that commercial is how they've taken the way people watched TV for decades and presented it like some hot new secret thing. Yay, they're hawking a directional UHF antenna.

What kills me are the slicer/dicers they pretend are revolutionary, ignoring how the chef's mandoline was invented centuries ago.

DrDeth
07-08-2013, 08:15 PM
Do they claim they smoke because they want to, or do they claim they smoke because they want to, smoke regularly, AND are not addicted?

The latter is, well, silly. Of course they're also addicted that point. The former sounds like you're dismissing the idea that people might want to smoke. Smoking is pleasurable. It's not just about "looking cool."

The second.

But smoking is only pleasurable as a addict finds his next dose pleasurable. It is entirely the addiction that makes it so.

Seanette
07-08-2013, 10:04 PM
So what commercial have you seen where you seriously thought that the advertiser though you had ODed on idiot pills? And as you can see from my example that it doesn't have to be based on common knowledge or even anything that anyone else cares about so if you pissed at a commercial where they used the KX-483 heisenfram resonator when OBVIOUSLY they should have been using the KX-484 model on that particular motorhome then by all means have at it.

As far as I can tell, the majority of commercials assume their viewers are idiots.

Many also appear to be written either by junior-high age boys who think "body part/function reference automatically equals funny and women aren't human beings, they're decorations/lust objects" or targeted to viewers of such immaturity levels.

I love having a DVR because I can skip commercials. :D

typoink
07-08-2013, 10:08 PM
But smoking is only pleasurable as a addict finds his next dose pleasurable. It is entirely the addiction that makes it so.

But...that's not right. It really isn't. I smoke very infrequently, maybe once every month or two. Never more frequently than once every week or two. I've gone years without smoking a bit. I'm absolutely not addicted. It can absolutely be pleasurable on its own. Not hugely so, but enough that I enjoy it every now and again.

For many chain smokers who are smoking relatively light cigarettes, I'm sure you're mostly correct. But I've known addicts who smoke pretty heavy-duty smokes less frequently, and I absolutely believe they're still getting a buzz.

You're paintin' with too big a brush.

MikeF
07-09-2013, 03:08 PM
And get a second one for FREE! FREE! FREE! (Just pay separate shipping and handling).

Digital is the new Analog
07-09-2013, 05:16 PM
And get a second one for FREE! FREE! FREE! (Just pay separate shipping and handling).

I always wonder if you can order just the one, or if you are forced to get the "free" one..meaning even if you only want one, you pay S&H twice.

IgnoranceIsMyExcuse
07-09-2013, 11:58 PM
I don't care for all of these commercials featuring insurance agents who are at accident scenes. I didn't know agents responded to accidents in real time - I thought adjusters showed up later. Weird. I guess I should call my insurance agent instead of dialing 911.

Johnny Ecks
07-10-2013, 09:05 AM
One of my favorite FREE FREE FREE ads was a commercial for the clicklight- mount it anywhere you need a light! Just click on and click off! We'll send you two for the same price- but thats not all! Order today and get a FREE subscription to Deep Discount magazine!

Took me about a minute to realize that they weren't selling clicklights, they were selling subscriptions to a crappy magazine.

RikWriter
07-10-2013, 11:29 AM
The second.

But smoking is only pleasurable as a addict finds his next dose pleasurable. It is entirely the addiction that makes it so.

That's not so. I smoke (cigars or cigarettes) maybe once every 3-4 years. I don't smoke regularly because of 1)the cost, 2)the deleterious health effects and 3)the smell. But I DO enjoy it. I like the taste of cigarette smoke, which is odd because I can't STAND the smell of second-hand smoke. I find the experience pleasurable. But I am obviously not addicted as I feel no need to repeat the experience on a regular basis.

Mattie Blue
07-12-2013, 09:31 AM
The diet supplement commercials. Everyone lost 40, 50, 60, or 100 pounds by eating cake and ice cream every day, but thanks to this little pill/powder/drink, the fat melted off. However, the small type at the bottom always mentions that these results are not typical and the person used the supplement along with following a sensible diet and exercising.

This was not posted to hijack the thread into how to lose weight. I know losing weight is not easy as the hundreds of SDMB threads will attest. I, myself, am overweight and after two years am still working through my own mental and physical issues. This is just a slam on the advertisements that make it seem like the only thing standing between you and being a size 0 is this one little pill.

MegaBee
07-12-2013, 02:43 PM
Wait until the decide to label it "GLUTEN FREE!"

Yeah... I just ate a bag of popcorn that proudly says "GLUTEN FREE" right on the front.

IgnoranceIsMyExcuse
07-12-2013, 02:53 PM
I also hate the weight-loss advertisements where the before photograph is clearly a well-built guy during a bulking phase and the after photograph is the same guy post-cutting. He didn't magically gain muscle (and definition) by losing weight; instead, his underlying muscles became visible because he's thinner.

SecretaryofEvil
07-13-2013, 03:35 PM
Lots of wonderful gifs of people being morons in infomerials. (http://www.reddit.com/r/wheredidthesodago)

Some of the captions they give them are great.

"Seriously gravity? I'm getting sick of your shit."

Phnord Prephect
07-13-2013, 04:09 PM
Yeah... I just ate a bag of popcorn that proudly says "GLUTEN FREE" right on the front.

Yes, but was it WHOLE GRAIN? :smack:

Cub Mistress
07-13-2013, 04:33 PM
The AT &T Uverse commercial that starts "look at them kids" makes me want to scream.

gotpasswords
07-13-2013, 05:08 PM
"If the line's busy, keep trying!"

Yeah right. Your call is going to a call center with four hundred reps that probably answers calls for twenty or more companies. The only way you'll get a busy is if some wayward backhoe dug up the phone lines.

nearwildheaven
07-13-2013, 06:38 PM
Even before I read the rest of the ad: Any kind of prescription drug advertising, especially if it's for a rare disease. Really, you don't think your oncologist or rheumatologist doesn't know about this?

And anything that shows children destroying things. You just know kids are going to imitate that. :rolleyes:

nearwildheaven
07-13-2013, 06:43 PM
Unless it's in the process of being changed (or regional), here they don't make mention about being expensive at all, but they do mention that YOU can have $10,000 in your account TOMORROW. All of the information stating that the loan is at +80% interest, and you're expected to make payments of $750 per month for 5 years or so is in the fine print at the bottom of the screen.

I didn't think that kind of thing was even legal.

nearwildheaven
07-13-2013, 06:48 PM
Wait until the decide to label it "GLUTEN FREE!"

I've seen that. It's actually a legitimate label, because corn or rice can contain trace amounts of gluten if it's processed in the same factory as gluten-containing grains like rye or wheat.

nearwildheaven
07-13-2013, 06:50 PM
Did you know that SUGAR is Fat Free!:eek:

And it's sometimes vegan too.

Again, a processing thing, because most commercial sugar is processed with bone char. Doing so does not make it strictly vegan.

nearwildheaven
07-13-2013, 06:56 PM
More and more, they are labeled so; well, some of them... those which actually pass muster for it. Some manufacturers of corn-based products haven't been able to get the label because they had detectable levels of gluten through cross-contamination from other products.

Given how often I run into people who seem to think that "coeliac child" means "can't eat anything kids like", more labeling is good.

I personally know several people who must avoid gluten, and my BFF has gone gluten-free because he's allergic to wheat and this is the simplest way to go about it. Last year, Temple Grandin, the livestock expert who is also autistic, spoke in my town and I went to see her. She addressed the whole gluten-free thing, which does help some people with autism, and said that it does not have to be difficult or expensive: "Dirt cheap rice noodles, delicious corn tortillas - don't mess with that fake bread made out of potatoes."

Jay Leno recently said, "I tried gluten-free bread. Wow! I had no idea how good gluten is. I keep a bowl on the side for dipping now." :p

I used to attend a church that offered gluten-free communion bread, and a lot of people wondered what that was all about. I did try it, and it wasn't bad. And I also explained it to a lot of people who knew I was a health care professional.

nearwildheaven
07-13-2013, 07:01 PM
Also, I have to give a shout out to that horrible Yaz commercial were the one woman lists all the disclaimers.

Her idiot friends: "Wow, you really know your stuff!"
Disclaimer girl: "I didn't go to medical school for nothing!"

Yeah, because that's what people do in medical school, don't you know. Memorize the side-effects of every medicine, so they can recite them to their friends.

Bonus points because Yaz was later sued (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drospirenone#Litigation_and_regulatory_penalties) for not adequately warning people of the risks of their medication. Maybe she should have gone to law school.

Like I said, prescription drug commercials, especially the ones for erectile dysfunction. Trust me, the men who use them don't look like the guys in the ads. Instead, think of Grandpa - or better yet, don't think of Grandpa.

And Grandma too. You'd be surprised how many women use it for their own sexual dysfunction.

Lots of women can't tolerate Yaz, mainly because it gives them morning sickness without also being pregnant. :eek:

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