PDA

View Full Version : Worst movie of 2013?


Mahaloth
01-18-2014, 12:24 PM
It has to be one you actually sat through, mind you. I kind of assume Movie 43 was the worst movie, but I have not seen it an never will.

For me, it was Die Hard 5, which was a gigantic step downwards and the worst of the series. And this is coming from a guy who thought Die Hard 4 was great.

It's boring, nonsensical, very hard to follow, and completely forgettable. It's a mess from the beginning and has nothing redeeming about it. I don't even think Bruce Willis is playing the same character in this one.

What was yours?

Roundabout
01-18-2014, 12:32 PM
World War Z.

Probably the most poorly edited film of the year, and a waste of the source material.

Little Nemo
01-18-2014, 12:45 PM
I'm going with Star Trek: Into Darkness. I'm sure there were worse movies released this year but I avoided them. And Star Trek: Into Darkness was legitimately bad.

DCnDC
01-18-2014, 12:47 PM
For reference, here (http://www.wildaboutmovies.com/2013_movies/Movies_In_Theaters_2013.html)'s a handy listing of every movie released in 2013.

Of what I've seen, I'm going to go with Grown Ups 2.

Mahaloth
01-18-2014, 12:50 PM
I'm going with Star Trek: Into Darkness. I'm sure there were worse movies released this year but I avoided them. And Star Trek: Into Darkness was legitimately bad.

I would say that it was a pretty good movie for the first 75%, but then the floor dropped out of it and it was terrible in its final 25%.

not what you'd expect
01-18-2014, 12:54 PM
I did not enjoy The Call and Olympus has Fallen was pretty bad as well.

Tim R. Mortiss
01-18-2014, 12:54 PM
I'm going with Star Trek: Into Darkness. I'm sure there were worse movies released this year but I avoided them. And Star Trek: Into Darkness was legitimately bad.

I'll go with this. I'm usually pretty good about avoiding bad movies, but I HAVE to see a Star Trek movie, right? They're like Bond movies - I haven't missed one yet and I'm not about to start.

At least it wasn't bad in a "poorly made" sort of way. More of an ill-conceived idea and total lack of understanding of the point of the franchise sort of way.

galen ubal
01-18-2014, 02:58 PM
H'm. Either Elysium or The Hobbit: The Desolation etc..
While I think the latter was the 'better' movie overall, it was more disappointing to me personally.
Lots of forgettable movies last year, for that matter.

Rollo Tomasi
01-18-2014, 03:40 PM
Gangster Squad.

Runners up are The Wolverine, The Fifth Estate, and Jobs.

ftg
01-18-2014, 03:47 PM
There are some articles (http://blog.mysanantonio.com/weekender/2013/12/getaway-worst-movie-of-2013-rotten-tomatoes-says/) listing Rotten Tomatoes worst reviewed films of 2013. But there were several "0"s I think. They only include "widely seen" movies.

Here's the Razzies (http://www.razzies.com/history/2013-worst-picture.asp) list. I think After Earth is a lock for the Razzie win. You can just smell the stink reading about it. Family vanity project with a Scientology theme. Phewww.

The makers of The Big Wedding and Paranoia must be thankful for Movie 43 so they didn't produce the crappiest movie with the most quality people.

Mahaloth
01-18-2014, 04:00 PM
I've thought a bit more and would rank the ones I've seen like this, with #1 being the worst and downwards being marginally better.

1. Die Hard 5
2. Elysium - total snoozefest and not very well thought out.
3. Oz the Great and Powerful - Oh, Sam Raimi, have we lost you?
4. Lone Ranger - total snoozefest
5. Star Trek Into Darkness - they had so many better options for the story's direction.


Biggest disappointment was probably Star Trek Into Darkness. I still want a sequel where they keep Khan alive, but sedated and use his blood to cure people. We'd have a great shot of Khan saying, "Kill.....me....please" while they continue to drain him over and over again.

Oz the Great and Powerful should have been adequate, but James Franco was completely miscast. It's also a mess of a movie in general, though. Script needed a re-write and the edit needed to be revisited.

Elysium is not a good script and that can not be fixed once in production.

Lone Ranger? It just sucked and was way too long.

Prof. Pepperwinkle
01-18-2014, 04:09 PM
I saw Movie 43, and I'll be happy to vote for it as worst of the year. It lacked the daffy inspiration of Kentucky Fried Movie and The Groove Tube, while keeping all the vulgarity.

Simplicio
01-18-2014, 04:16 PM
Into Darkness was probably the worst movie I saw this year. Had all the problems of the first film, but without the stuff that made the first film watchable.

Little Nemo
01-18-2014, 07:16 PM
I would say that it was a pretty good movie for the first 75%, but then the floor dropped out of it and it was terrible in its final 25%.No, they lost me right at the beginning. It happened as soon as I saw the Enterprise underwater.

Hermione
01-18-2014, 08:19 PM
...I can't be alone in liking Into Darkness, can I? Can I?

As for The Lone Ranger, that's more of a disappointment to me than anything else, having liked TLR since I was a kid (thanks to a couple of LR cartoons). It did have elements to recommend it, but there were just too many threads that led nowhere.

I think the problem was, instead of being true to the original legend and just fine-tuning what needed to be fine-tuned, they tried to shoehorn the Lone Ranger mythos into a Pirates of the Caribbean mold. And it IS a shame, because it might have been something good.

Becky2844
01-19-2014, 12:09 AM
Thank God I didn't rent this during Christmas like I wanted to, but a week or so ago I watched All is Bright with Paul Rudd and Paul Giamatti. Cons selling Christmas trees. Listed as a comedy. It does sound funny, right?
Scenes to slit your wrists by. Dismal (literally) beyond belief. The only "bright" was Sally Hawkins.
Fortunately I rented Girl Most Likely at the same time. I recommend it.

RickJay
01-19-2014, 01:40 AM
"Elysium" was easily the worst movie I saw in 2013. I've never seen so much money spent on such a terrible story.

thelurkinghorror
01-19-2014, 02:24 AM
I saw Movie 43, and I'll be happy to vote for it as worst of the year. It lacked the daffy inspiration of Kentucky Fried Movie and The Groove Tube, while keeping all the vulgarity.
:eek: That was 2013!? (Googles... yes...). Thread win, but then that one is like using dynamite in rock-paper-scissors. No fair. You know, there are plenty of movies that look good in the trailer and turn out to be crap. That one was obviously awful from the get-go, and yet there are tons of stars in it unlike all those "<Blank> Movie" films. I guess the coke must've been good.

I saw Star Trek. All of you are engaging in serious hyperbole offenses, but I also ask you: did you not see the first one? Both films caused the critics to ejaculate on themselves. I saw both and felt "meh." But I really didn't see how the second was worse than the first. I didn't hear anything specifically bad about Elysium. World War Z was critically okay, but obviously book fans didn't like it.

But if we're going only for critically acclaimed big budget films that we didn't like, I'll go with Prometheus. Yeah, it was from 2012 but that one stunk into another year.

Sr Siete
01-19-2014, 02:58 AM
I love Movie 43. The black basketball team. The murderous cartoon cat. The Merchant - Berry insane date. The home-schooled kid. Sure, the sketches are just gross for the sake of gross-ness, but I don't consider that a negative. So I don't know what you guys are talking about.

I'm going with Oblivion (admittedly, haven't seen most movies on the list) just because of the terrible wastage of money and talent on something filled with giant plot holes.

NDP
01-19-2014, 03:33 AM
Oz the Great and Powerful should have been adequate, but James Franco was completely miscast. It's also a mess of a movie in general, though. Script needed a re-write and the edit needed to be revisited.

I saw this on cable and the problem with the script wasn't so much it needed to be rewritten but that it had been rewritten too much already. When I saw it, I couldn't escape the feeling that at every stage the Disney execs were busy recommending changes to the script on the grounds they didn't want the end product to turn out "too dark".

Also, as I said in the "Oz the Great and Powerful" thread, it's a damn dirty shame Terry Gilliam didn't direct this movie instead.

Finally, I agree that Franco was miscast. And Mila Kunis acted more like a spoiled brat than the Wicked Witch of the West.

dalej42
01-19-2014, 03:52 PM
The Wolverine and it isn't close. I was on a hot date during the movie and I still spent part of the movie getting concessions. I would have preferred a documentary on the Japanese train system, since that's what most of Wolverine was to me.

Elendil's Heir
01-19-2014, 04:33 PM
...I can't be alone in liking Into Darkness, can I? Can I?....
Oh, all right. I'll admit it. Despite many quibbles, big and small, I mostly liked it.

For reference, here (http://www.wildaboutmovies.com/2013_movies/Movies_In_Theaters_2013.html)'s a handy listing of every movie released in 2013....
Wow. That's... kind of depressing. A lot of good movies I meant to see but never got around to.

I rarely see a movie I hate, because I do my research (ask around with friends, read reviews, check rottentomatoes and IMDb) before I go. Of those I saw, though, probably either The Butler (plodding, a bit dull, terrible casting for Eisenhower and Nixon) or The Great Gatsby (frenetic, poor soundtrack choices) were my least favorite. Neither was bad, as such, though.

Accidental Martyr
01-19-2014, 04:38 PM
I would add R.I.P.D. to the list.

simster
01-19-2014, 04:39 PM
"The Heat" in a close tie with "Elysium".

Hermione - you are not alone.

Mahaloth
01-19-2014, 04:56 PM
I would add R.I.P.D. to the list.

What made it so bad? i don't know anyone who saw it, but heard it was awful.

Mahaloth
01-19-2014, 05:06 PM
1. Die Hard 5
2. Elysium - total snoozefest and not very well thought out.
3. Oz the Great and Powerful - Oh, Sam Raimi, have we lost you?
4. Lone Ranger - total snoozefest
5. Star Trek Into Darkness - they had so many better options for the story's direction.


I have looked at the list of all movies and will now add some I forgot.

The Last Stand - this was Schwarzenegger's return as the lead. It's terrible and totally dull. It sucked big time.

Jack the Giant Slayer - entirely forgettable. Nothing at all worthwhile. Yes, I saw the one directed by Brian Singer, not the Asylum fakey.

GI Joe Retaliation - I hated the first one. Why did I watch this? To be fair, it's better than the first one, but it still sucks.

Much Ado About Nothing - Yay! Joss Whedon made a quick movie between Avengers! Booooooo! It sucked and was a terrible adaptation of the material. Waste of talent all around and easily the worst thing Whedon has made. :(

Mahaloth
01-19-2014, 05:08 PM
World War Z.

Probably the most poorly edited film of the year, and a waste of the source material.

Loved World War Z, though I have not read the source material. It would make my list of top movies of the year(though it may not crack the top 10).

I did not enjoy The Call and Olympus has Fallen was pretty bad as well.

Loved Olympus has Fallen!

thelurkinghorror
01-19-2014, 05:35 PM
What made it so bad? i don't know anyone who saw it, but heard it was awful.
I didn't see it, but let's see here:
Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds headline...
Okay I've read enough. Seriously though, for me, RR is a sign that I probably won't like the movie. I also have a list of actors that will make me watch a movie even if it looks crappy.

RikWriter
01-19-2014, 06:03 PM
Loved Olympus has Fallen!

Me too.
Actually, it's hard for ne to come up with a "worst movie" because if I think I am going to dislike a movie, I just won't see it. The only movie I can think of that came out last year that I saw and didn't like was Red 2. I rented that in the On Demand from Verizon FIOS.

dropzone
01-19-2014, 08:35 PM
This is the End blew chunks, but since I loathe nearly everybody in it I should not have been surprised. Michael Cera did die, though.

Accidental Martyr
01-19-2014, 09:23 PM
What made it so bad? i don't know anyone who saw it, but heard it was awful.

It was just very formulaic and not very entertaining. It "borrowed" a lot of stuff from Men In Black but didn't really do much else. I rented it from Redbox so I was only out $1.27. ;)

bienville
01-19-2014, 09:32 PM
Of the movies I actually saw . . .

Either Old Boy or Carrie. I'd have to rewatch both of them to tell you which was worse and I don't want to do that.


After looking at that list of films, I realize why Oldboy seemed to me to be so completely unlike the trailer.

I had seen a movie trailer with Josh Brolin as a guy who broke out of prison and hides out with Kate Winslett who helps him. Then I saw Elizabeth Olsen interviewed about Oldboy, a movie in which Josh Brolin breaks out of prison and hides out with Elizabeth Olsen who helps him.
Well, I just merged the two movies in my brain but mostly remembered the trailer I had seen. The movie was nothing like the trailer. Why? Because I had seen the trailer for Labor Day which is a completely different movie about Josh Brolin breaking out of prison and hiding out with a woman who helps him.
:smack:

elfkin477
01-19-2014, 09:45 PM
My least favorite movies of 2013 were:

The Place Beyond the Pines
The Lords of Salem
The World's End
Much Ado About Nothing

thelurkinghorror
01-19-2014, 09:50 PM
While we're confusing things, I caught only the tail end of the trailer for Labor Day. From the name I assumed it's another awful romantic "spend millions on an ensemble cast, didn't have money for a screenwriter" film, like Valentine's Day, New Year's Eve. I'm still waiting for an Arbor Day film.

Mahaloth
01-19-2014, 09:58 PM
After looking at that list of films, I realize why Oldboy seemed to me to be so completely unlike the trailer.



Did you see the original Korean film? It's excellent and I've heard that somehow, Spike Lee messed up adapting it.

elbowj
01-19-2014, 10:09 PM
Any takers for The Counselor? I rarely go to the movies but I see nearly all of them and I somehow got teaser trolled and saw it in the theaters. Many regrets.

RikWriter
01-19-2014, 10:40 PM
I kinda forgot about The World's End. I had such high hopes going into that movie but I was very disappointed. It wasn't BAD, it just wasn't nearly as funny or as good as Hot Fuzz.

Spoke
01-19-2014, 10:59 PM
Movie 43. It was awfully awful.

Elendil's Heir
01-19-2014, 11:34 PM
...I had seen a movie trailer with Josh Brolin as a guy who broke out of prison and hides out with Kate Winslett [sic] who helps him...
As it happens, there was a piece in today's Parade magazine about that movie. The author visited the set to teach Brolin and Winslet how to make a pie in just the right way for a key scene.

Uncle Jocko
01-20-2014, 09:41 AM
Of those I saw, though, probably either The Butler (plodding, a bit dull, terrible casting for Eisenhower and Nixon) or The Great Gatsby (frenetic, poor soundtrack choices) were my least favorite.

What, Robin Williams as Eisenhower didn't work for you? It was so inspired, I'm surprised it hadn't been done before. :p I didn't think The Butler was bad, but it wasn't great. When the Oscar nominations came out and lots of people were, like, "OMG, Oprah got snubbed!" I wondered if they actually watched the movie, not to mention the other nominated performances.

I'm like those other folks who say if they don't think a movie looks good, they don't go see it. This was kind of a down year for me anyway, moviegoing-wise, so I don't have much personal input into what I think was the worst film of the year. My in-laws walked out of RIPD, if that means anything (although I believe my father-in-law was expecting more Rooster Cogburn out of Jeff Bridges ... I was stunned he even wanted to buy a ticket for RIPD in the first place).

Elendil's Heir
01-20-2014, 03:57 PM
What, Robin Williams as Eisenhower didn't work for you? It was so inspired, I'm surprised it hadn't been done before. :p ....
Robin Williams actually made a great Theodore Roosevelt in the Night at the Museum movies, I thought - both in appearance and in behavior. But he was a terrible Eisenhower - actually looked more like Truman!

http://www.hotflick.net/flicks/2006_Night_at_the_Museum/006NTM_Robin_Williams_023.jpg
http://www.empireonline.com/images/uploaded/lee-daniels-robin-williams-dwight-d-eisenhower.jpg

Penfeather
01-20-2014, 07:51 PM
I kinda forgot about The World's End. I had such high hopes going into that movie but I was very disappointed. It wasn't BAD, it just wasn't nearly as funny or as good as Hot Fuzz.

The World's End had ideas for about three good movies, but they were all just mixed in together with no time to do any of them justice.

Charlie Wayne
01-20-2014, 10:36 PM
I find it very difficult to pick just one film. I'd very much like to specify a number of films. There were so many stinkers. But I'd have to plan a list first before posting.

Charlie Wayne
01-20-2014, 10:47 PM
World War Z.

Probably the most poorly edited film of the year, and a waste of the source material.

Oh. This was indeed a terrible film. It's very hard to understand how and why someone would spend so much money (actually "waste" more money would be more accurate) paying so many talented people to make such a turkey.

Holy Shit! So many better things to do with all that money.

Zombie movies are a very interesting topic and probably deserve a thread of their own. Maybe more than just one. But this film had nothing useful to contribute.

There was one movie (sorry I forget the name - but it may have had the word "warm" in the title as in "warm blooded") that did have something useful to say. It explained how the curse of zombies could be ended. I found that very interesting because if it was ever possible that there could be such a thing as a zombie plague, it would be great to know how to put an end to it and this film actually had a suggestion that would be valuable.

Aside from listing any specific films, I think it would be most useful to just list some of the interesting items that could be discussed about zombies.

I used to think they were all out to lunch. But then I saw ...

Dawn of the Dead http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0363547/

and

Zombieland http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1156398/

They were both very pleasant surprises.

Zombieland was just extremely well done. It was an excellent comedy. Woody Harrelson was terrific. I never imagined such a funny movie could ever be made about zombies. I had previously considered zombies to be a completelly stupid subject.

Dawn of the Dead was an ordinary zombie move. But it was just very well done and the characters were actually very interesting. Sarah Polley did a great job (just as she usually does) and it left me surprised again that such a good film could ever be made about zombies.

simster
01-20-2014, 11:06 PM
Lazlo Hapsburg - You're thinking of "Warm Bodies (http://warmbodiesmovie.com/)" - and yeah - it's a great (if different) zombie film.

I personally liked WWZ - and I have read the book as well - certainly things could have been done better, but I still enjoyed it.

thelurkinghorror
01-20-2014, 11:08 PM
Warm Bodies. Funnier and not as teenyboppery as I thought. Pretty decent, sappy sometimes. Zombieland is of course one of the better ones from the last few years. Woody playing himself (less pot), Emma Stone hurts exactly nothing, and not-Michael Cera is better than is-Michael Cera. I also appreciate them lowering public ignorance by dispelling the Twinkie myth.

There are so many zombie movies that you have to be selective. If I see something along the lines of "George Romero's..." I can safely ignore it. His older stuff is fine, and I don't think I've actually seen the new Dawn all the way though, but his movies have been some real stinking corpses lately.

Charlie Wayne
01-21-2014, 01:45 AM
Warm Bodies. Funnier and not as teenyboppery as I thought. Pretty decent, sappy sometimes. Zombieland is of course one of the better ones from the last few years. Woody playing himself (less pot), Emma Stone hurts exactly nothing, and not-Michael Cera is better than is-Michael Cera. I also appreciate them lowering public ignorance by dispelling the Twinkie myth.

There are so many zombie movies that you have to be selective. If I see something along the lines of "George Romero's..." I can safely ignore it. His older stuff is fine, and I don't think I've actually seen the new Dawn all the way though, but his movies have been some real stinking corpses lately.

The one star you didn't mention was Bill Murray. Wasn't he great? I'll never forget that line that Emma Stone said about him and her funny bone. Excuse me. But I seem to have forgotten it just now. It'll come back to me.

:smack:

thelurkinghorror
01-21-2014, 02:39 AM
The one star you didn't mention was Bill Murray. Wasn't he great? I'll never forget that line that Emma Stone said about him and her funny bone. Excuse me. But I seem to have forgotten it just now. It'll come back to me.

:smack:
Spoilers! Also that part felt a little forced. I am a big fan of actors playing themselves, Woody's gushing felt a bit strong. But I'm also a fan of actors being willing to insult/kill themselves, so...

JKellyMap
01-21-2014, 07:32 AM
I really wanted to say Moonrise Kingdom, but a) I didn't see it, and b) turns out it was released in 2012.

So, I'll have to go with Gangster Squad. Very derivative -- even as an homage, it's been done many times, and much better -- but it wasn't that bad. I think the art direction/production design should even get an Oscar nomination.

CalMeacham
01-21-2014, 07:58 AM
I'm actually sorry Grown-Ups 2 came out so bad. It's not that I like it -- I haven't even seen it -- but part of it was filmed at Stackpole Field, where my daughter MilliCal plays goalie for her high school's field hockey team.


I gotta go see it, even if on DVD, just to see those scenes. Ted already gave me the mini-golf on Route 1 (also in our town), featuring the Giant Fluorescent Orange T. Rex (with fluorescent green eyes) during the opening credits.

Boyo Jim
01-21-2014, 08:12 AM
I'm calling it a tie between Olympus Has Fallen and Sharknado.

RikWriter
01-21-2014, 08:26 AM
I'm calling it a tie between Olympus Has Fallen and Sharknado.

Olympus Has Fallen was a pretty good flick. And Sharknado doesn't qualify as it wasn't a theatrical release.

Boyo Jim
01-21-2014, 08:30 AM
Olympus Has Fallen was a pretty good flick. And Sharknado doesn't qualify as it wasn't a theatrical release.

OHF was terrible. Sharknado I counted because it was on the linked list in post #4.

Also, the OP didn't specify "theatrical release".

Death of Rats
01-21-2014, 08:35 AM
I think the only reason Olympus has Fallen is getting so many votes is that no one else saw White House Down and that was a requirement for the OP.

Roundabout
01-21-2014, 08:48 AM
Oh. This was indeed a terrible film. It's very hard to understand how and why someone would spend so much money (actually "waste" more money would be more accurate) paying so many talented people to make such a turkey.

To use the cast so poorly really disappointed me. This was the first time I could recall Brad Pitt sleepwalking through a performance. I think Matthew Fox was also in the movie, but his screentime was so short that it's puzzling why they brought him in in the first place.

There was one movie (sorry I forget the name - but it may have had the word "warm" in the title as in "warm blooded") that did have something useful to say. It explained how the curse of zombies could be ended. I found that very interesting because if it was ever possible that there could be such a thing as a zombie plague, it would be great to know how to put an end to it and this film actually had a suggestion that would be valuable.

Warm Bodies, maybe? I think that came out last year.


Zombieland was just extremely well done. It was an excellent comedy. Woody Harrelson was terrific. I never imagined such a funny movie could ever be made about zombies. I had previously considered zombies to be a completelly stupid subject.

Absolutely. Woody Harrelson steals every scene he's in.

Dawn of the Dead was an ordinary zombie move. But it was just very well done and the characters were actually very interesting. Sarah Polley did a great job (just as she usually does) and it left me surprised again that such a good film could ever be made about zombies.

I much prefer Romero's original Dawn, but the remake wasn't half bad. It's probably Zack Snyder's best film next to Watchmen.

Evil Economist
01-21-2014, 09:11 AM
I must have less descriminating taste than most of the posters here. I enjoyed Elysium, World War Z, Star Trek, GI Joe Retaliation, Wolverine, The World's End, and some of the others mentioned. Maybe some weren't great movies, but I didn't hate any of them, and wouldn't call any the worst movie of 2013.

Did anyone see Machete Kills? Now that would be a valid contender for worst movie.

I saw two movies where the White House was attacked, and one of them was much worse than the other; can't remember which was which, though, so maybe I agree with the people saying Olympus has Fallen was the worst movie of 2013, and maybe I don't.

The Last Stand was also a bad movie. Not worst of 2013 bad, but bad.

Elendil's Heir
01-21-2014, 11:01 AM
I, too, loved Zombieland.

...I saw two movies where the White House was attacked, and one of them was much worse than the other; can't remember which was which, though, so maybe I agree with the people saying Olympus has Fallen was the worst movie of 2013, and maybe I don't....
Was it the one with Jamie Foxx as President? Because that was White House Down.

RikWriter
01-21-2014, 11:12 AM
OHF was terrible.

I don't agree.

Evil Economist
01-21-2014, 11:20 AM
descriminatingGoddamn it, brain.

Dr_Doom
01-21-2014, 11:32 AM
It has to be one you actually sat through, mind you. I kind of assume Movie 43 was the worst movie, but I have not seen it an never will.

For me, it was Die Hard 5, which was a gigantic step downwards and the worst of the series. And this is coming from a guy who thought Die Hard 4 was great.

It's boring, nonsensical, very hard to follow, and completely forgettable. It's a mess from the beginning and has nothing redeeming about it. I don't even think Bruce Willis is playing the same character in this one.

What was yours?

I didn't see a ton of movies this past year, but yeah. What you said.

Maybe it's difficult to be objective, being a fan of the franchise, but A Good Day To Die Hard definitely sends it out not with a bang, but with a whimper.

I loved all 4 of the other ones, for the record.

Charlie Wayne
01-21-2014, 11:40 AM
To use the cast so poorly really disappointed me. This was the first time I could recall Brad Pitt sleepwalking through a performance. I think Matthew Fox was also in the movie, but his screentime was so short that it's puzzling why they brought him in in the first place.

Warm Bodies, maybe? I think that came out last year.

Absolutely. Woody Harrelson steals every scene he's in.

I much prefer Romero's original Dawn, but the remake wasn't half bad. It's probably Zack Snyder's best film next to Watchmen.


Oh! You have such good taste! I like to compliment you on your good taste!

DrDeth
01-21-2014, 11:53 AM
Movies that I was looking forward to, but turned out bad, bad bad (I think this will exclude crapfests like Grown Ups 2, which no one expected to be good):
Star Trek: Into Darkness (I didn;t much care for the first re-boot, but this one was Drek, not trek)
Gangster Squad (wow, that Director sure loves smoking, doesn’t he? )

I enjoyed RIPD, but it was hardly Oscar fare, I admit. Oz the Great and Powerful, Die Hard & Lone Ranger all had moments, but weren’t as good as I hoped.

amorali
01-21-2014, 12:04 PM
Oz was supposed to be a children's movie right? But it felt like it was trying to appeal to adults. I hated it.

I've seen most of the movies mentioned in this thread and one thing that they all seem to have in common is that they are ok until about 75% of the way in. And then they fall apart.

Wolverine: holy crap I don't think I've ever felt more more uncomfortable watching a love scene. They had zero chemistry.
And the idea that Jean is his soul mate just waiting for him to die is stupid. Where is Scott in that?

simster
01-21-2014, 12:30 PM
I had completely forgotten about Oz - that was utterly bad as well - as was that "haunted house" spoof from the wayan's - I think I have a new list.

"The Heat" and "Elysium" I waited for netFlix - I actually paid to see Oz and the Haunted house spoof - and was excited to leave the theater both times.

Roundabout
01-21-2014, 12:40 PM
Oh! You have such good taste! I like to compliment you on your good taste!

Likewise. Thanks.

ftg
01-21-2014, 12:45 PM
This is the End blew chunks, but since I loathe nearly everybody in it I should not have been surprised. Michael Cera did die, though.

Amazingly enough, this is 83% at RT (and 85% with top critics). And indeed it was absolutely awful.

Maybe not in the "official" running for worst movie, but a top contender for greatest disparity between reviews and the actual movie.

What were these critics smoking? Oh, ... yeah.

SykoSkotty
01-21-2014, 02:40 PM
The Lifeguard with Kristen Bell. I was bored chitless.

RickJay
01-21-2014, 07:57 PM
Amazingly enough, this is 83% at RT (and 85% with top critics). And indeed it was absolutely awful.
Why? I mean, it was juvenile and stupid, but in fairness it was trying to be. The movie set out to be a stoner comedy, and that it was, and a pretty good one.

To use my own example, "Elysium" set out to be an exciting and thought-provoking science fiction thriller, but it was not exciting, thought-provoking, or thrilling. The only really good action scene was halfway through the film and after that it just fell apart. It was a failure at what it set out to do.

Mahaloth
01-21-2014, 08:13 PM
Also, the OP didn't specify "theatrical release".

I will now. No DVD-releases or crappy TV movies. Those are kind of made to be bad. I could rent a Steven Seagal movie tomorrow that would be the worst of the year, but theatrical releases are at least attempts to make good movies.


Did anyone see Machete Kills? Now that would be a valid contender for worst movie.

I saw two movies where the White House was attacked, and one of them was much worse than the other; can't remember which was which, though, so maybe I agree with the people saying Olympus has Fallen was the worst movie of 2013, and maybe I don't.

The Last Stand was also a bad movie. Not worst of 2013 bad, but bad.

I have not seen Machete Kills, but Machete(the first one) is pretty fun and funny. Segal is hilarious in that movie.

I have not seen White House Down, but if you want to remember, Olympus Has Fallen is the one where North Koreans try to take over the White House.

not what you'd expect
01-22-2014, 05:50 AM
Here's what I remember thinking while watching OHF: Morgan Freeman is phoning it in. Melissa Leo is overacting. And I'm fairly certain that there were numerous continuity problems, but I'm not watching it again to confirm that.

Elendil's Heir
01-22-2014, 08:32 AM
I liked it. It was Die Hard at the White House, pretty much, including some good lines ("Are there any serious questions?").

gladtobeblazed
01-22-2014, 07:47 PM
The worst movies I've seen in 2013:

The Dyatlov Pass Incident AKA Devil's Pass
After Earth
Texas Chainsaw 3D

but the worst of them all: Dario Argento's Dracula 3D. I love Argento's early work, and his daughter Asia is hot as hell, but holy shit this movie was a turd.

Mahaloth
01-26-2014, 10:52 AM
I just saw Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2.

Wow, I love the first one, but the sequel was a gigantic letdown. I would add it somewhere on my list of worst(that I've seen) from 2013. It lacked almost everything I loved from the original and was extremely bland and dull.

stegon66
01-26-2014, 11:11 AM
There are so many zombie movies that you have to be selective. If I see something along the lines of "George Romero's..." I can safely ignore it. His older stuff is fine, and I don't think I've actually seen the new Dawn all the way though, but his movies have been some real stinking corpses lately.

Of course, Romero had little to do with the new Dawn of the Dead. His Night, Dawn and Day are zed classics. Land and Diary are good. Survival...not so much.

Jack Batty
01-26-2014, 11:52 AM
12 Years a Slave. What maudlin piece of crap.







Just kidding ... I haven't even seen it yet, I just wanted to jump straight to the top of Snob Hill.

Ellis Dee
01-26-2014, 01:31 PM
I love Rob Zombie movies and was looking forward to his latest, but my god what a horrendous piece of unwatchable garbage. Easily beating almost everything mentioned in the thread so far, and by a mile:

The Lords of Salem

Haven't seen Movie 43 yet but I can definitely believe it's a legitimate contender.

Chefguy
01-26-2014, 01:41 PM
Of the ones I've seen, Pacific Rim has to rank near the bottom, along with Oblivion. As one reviewer said of the former: "At one time I would have considered PR the best movie ever made; but then I turned 12."

Mahaloth
01-26-2014, 05:48 PM
Of the ones I've seen, Pacific Rim has to rank near the bottom, along with Oblivion. As one reviewer said of the former: "At one time I would have considered PR the best movie ever made; but then I turned 12."

I also was deeply disappointed by Pacific Rim. I very much wish he'd stayed on to direct the Hobbit movies.

Becky2844
01-26-2014, 07:55 PM
I don't know that it's the worst, but The Guilt Trip has got to be right up there.

Elendil's Heir
01-26-2014, 07:57 PM
I saw Oblivion and, despite several plot holes, I actually liked it.

...Just kidding ... I haven't even seen it yet, I just wanted to jump straight to the top of Snob Hill.
Have no fear. You are the KING of Snob Hill!

RikWriter
01-26-2014, 07:58 PM
I also was deeply disappointed by Pacific Rim. I very much wish he'd stayed on to direct the Hobbit movies.

I'm curious...just what did people EXPECT from a movie about giant robots vs. giant monsters? Shakespeare?

Mahaloth
01-26-2014, 08:03 PM
I saw Oblivion and, despite several plot holes, I actually liked it.


Me too, though it is not amazing or anything.

I'm curious...just what did people EXPECT from a movie about giant robots vs. giant monsters? Shakespeare?

No, just a really good movie. I was mostly bored.

Grrr!
01-26-2014, 08:22 PM
You guys are talking crazy. Into Darkness was freaking awesome.

The old Star Trek is dead. It time to move on folks.

Mahaloth
01-26-2014, 09:55 PM
You guys are talking crazy. Into Darkness was freaking awesome.

The old Star Trek is dead. It time to move on folks.

What does the old Star Trek have to do with why this one's problems? People critiqued Star Trek V, remember.

Grrr!
01-26-2014, 10:19 PM
What does the old Star Trek have to do with why this one's problems? People critiqued Star Trek V, remember.

I was joking.

Chefguy
01-26-2014, 10:37 PM
I'm curious...just what did people EXPECT from a movie about giant robots vs. giant monsters? Shakespeare?

I expected it to be entertaining. It was tedious.

DrDeth
01-27-2014, 12:51 AM
You guys are talking crazy. Into Darkness was freaking awesome.

The old Star Trek is dead. It time to move on folks.

And if the new ST had decent acting, or even half-way believable plotlines, then I could accept it. But it's crap.

Ellis Dee
01-27-2014, 05:22 AM
And if the new ST had decent acting, or even half-way believable plotlines, then I could accept it. But it's crap.I don't remember either of those things in the old Star Trek.

DragonAsh
01-27-2014, 06:18 AM
For me, it's Lone Ranger, not close. Maybe 70 minutes of movie spread over 2 1/2 hours, basically all spent watching Johnny Depp in make-up make his patented dead-pan face over and over again while his character gets into one ridiculous situation after another. Stupid plot, stupid writing, stupid acting. God, this was awful.

WWZ was mindless action fun; I've wasted two hours of my life on worse.

Oblivion was horrible, but at least looked gorgeous.

Surprised more people haven't mentioned Man of Steel, which was interesting for the first two thirds of the movie, but the last 30 minutes just blew monkey balls. Yes, we know Superman is superman, do we really need a 30-minute long action/fight sequence to hammer the point home?

Star TrecK: Darkness was completely ruined by the last quarter of the movie.

Ferret Herder
01-27-2014, 07:44 AM
OHF was terrible. Sharknado I counted because it was on the linked list in post #4.

Also, the OP didn't specify "theatrical release".

And even though it was made for and initially released on TV, Sharknado was indeed released in theaters for a limited showing in August.

Steve MB
01-27-2014, 09:03 AM
A tough choice, but desecrating both a franchise and a specific film (Into Darkness) trumps doing only the former (The Lone Ranger).

Clothahump
01-27-2014, 09:27 AM
As for The Lone Ranger, that's more of a disappointment to me than anything else, having liked TLR since I was a kid (thanks to a couple of LR cartoons). It did have elements to recommend it, but there were just too many threads that led nowhere.

I think the problem was, instead of being true to the original legend and just fine-tuning what needed to be fine-tuned, they tried to shoehorn the Lone Ranger mythos into a Pirates of the Caribbean mold. And it IS a shame, because it might have been something good.

Big disappointment. The Lone Ranger was never a reluctant hero and in this movie, they played him as a whiny little git. Yeah, Johnny Depp as Tonto had some good zinger lines, but it wasn't enough to carry the movie. And the dead bird? Gimme a break.

KneadToKnow
01-27-2014, 09:29 AM
I didn't, and don't expect to, see The Butler, but I despise it on the grounds that from the very first trailer I saw for it, it was such shameless award bait that I couldn't help but be glad it got not a single Academy Award nomination.

The karmic price to be paid, of course, is that Bad Grandpa will for all time now be correctly referred to as Academy Award-nominated Bad Grandpa.

Boyo Jim
01-27-2014, 09:57 AM
And even though it was made for and initially released on TV, Sharknado was indeed released in theaters for a limited showing in August.

By "limited release", we can only hope they meant the first 20 minutes or so of the film, which is about all I could stand to watch, even with a bunch of bikini-wearing babes in it.

Chefguy
01-27-2014, 10:21 AM
Surprised more people haven't mentioned Man of Steel, which was interesting for the first two thirds of the movie, but the last 30 minutes just blew monkey balls. Yes, we know Superman is superman, do we really need a 30-minute long action/fight sequence to hammer the point home?



Forgot about that clunker. I didn't watch many of the movies mentioned, because I look at reviews before plunking down that kind of cash. I can never figure out why people support the absolute crap that's being produced (like The Lone Ranger). The reviews hammer a film, yet people still go and then bitch about it. The ones I'm panning are movies that I've seen on PPV or even on cable before watching. Even then, I won't pay for something like TLR. Perhaps if I was housebound and bored to death. Maybe.

Uncle Jocko
01-27-2014, 01:18 PM
For me, it's Lone Ranger, not close. Maybe 70 minutes of movie spread over 2 1/2 hours ...

I said almost that exact same thing after seeing it. There was a pretty good hour-plus Lone Ranger movie buried inside all that overblown multi-hour excess dreck, but Gore Verbinski and the screenwriters (and Johnny Depp) couldn't control themselves.

I just chortled at a comment somebody made that there won't be deleted scenes included on the DVD for the 3-hour "The Wolf of Wall Street" - because there weren't any. One might say the same for "The Lone Ranger" - although I see there is A deleted scene on the BluRay. One.

Diceman
01-27-2014, 03:01 PM
There was a Die Hard 5 ??? I vaugely remember hearing about Die Hard 4: Die Really, Really Hard or whatever it was called, but #5 flew completely under my radar.

I was a bit disappointed by Hobbit: TDoS, but only because I didn't know it was going to be the middle of a trilogy, and I don't see how Peter Jackson has enough story left for a third movie, unless he's planning to do some serious padding.

Elendil's Heir
01-27-2014, 03:20 PM
There was a Die Hard 5 ??? I vaugely remember hearing about Die Hard 4: Die Really, Really Hard or whatever it was called, but #5 flew completely under my radar....
Behold: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Good_Day_to_Die_Hard

...I was a bit disappointed by Hobbit: TDoS, but only because I didn't know it was going to be the middle of a trilogy, and I don't see how Peter Jackson has enough story left for a third movie, unless he's planning to do some serious padding.
Yes.

Yes, he is.

DrDeth
01-27-2014, 06:05 PM
Behold: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Good_Day_to_Die_Hard


Yes.

Yes, he is.

Well, part is padding. But if you read other sources, Gandalf & Co were doing some very interesting things while the dwarves were marching along. I am glad we're seeing that.

Equipoise
01-27-2014, 11:53 PM
Forgot about that clunker. I didn't watch many of the movies mentioned, because I look at reviews before plunking down that kind of cash. I can never figure out why people support the absolute crap that's being produced (like The Lone Ranger).Sometimes it's general optimism, sometimes it's liking a particular element (director, actor, topic, setting) and sometimes it's just plain curiosity. I didn't see The Lone Ranger but I kinda wanted to. I do like Depp and Hammer. I didn't read any reviews but I got the vibe that it wasn't very good which didn't mean much to me, but the previews were horrible too. It was on my list to check out at some point, but it was SO low-priority I never got around to it before it left the theaters. Since the likelihood of me seeing something low-priority at home that I missed in the theater are practically nil, I probably will never see it. But...

The reviews hammer a film, yet people still go and then bitch about it.Bad reviews mean little to me. If a critic likes a film it gets put on my list, but if a critic doesn't like a film I disregard their opinion since if I listened to critics I'd have missed some of my favorite films. Return to Oz got eviscerated when it was released and it's one of my All-Time Favorite films. More recent movies that (while not favorites) I quite liked that are rated Rotten are Out Of The Furnace, The Book Thief, 47 Ronan, Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom, Escape Plan, The Family and Runner, Runner (9%!! Fuck me, the Affleck hate is out of control).

If I only saw a few movies a year in the theater I could see how a broad range of reviews, coupled with research into the story and filmmaker pedigree would be extremely important, but since I see an insane amount of movies in the theater it's not as important. Still, there are movies I'll see no matter what. I like Ben Affleck as an actor and as a director. I like Justin Timberlake as an actor. I've liked Gemma Arterton in everything I've seen her in. The director Brad Furman made the excellent The Lincoln Lawyer which brought Matthew MacConaughey back from the dead. No way was I not going to see it, no matter what the critics said. It's wasn't great, but I thought it was good, and it sure was a helluva lot better than 9% would indicate. Fuckers.



Well, part is padding. But if you read other sources, Gandalf & Co were doing some very interesting things while the dwarves were marching along. I am glad we're seeing that.Yeah, I agree. While neither Hobbit was a fraction as good as the LOTR movies and for me they don't have the magic of, especially, Fellowship of the Ring, we're getting to see more of Middle Earth and any disappointment I may have is tempered by....MIDDLE EARTH! ON THE BIG SCREEN! The more the better.

Zebra
01-28-2014, 12:08 PM
I liked The Lone Ranger. OK! I admit it! It's not what people would expect from a summer tent pole type movie, which is probably why I liked it. Much better than Star Trek Into Darkness.


I didn't get to see many movies this year but of the ones I did see Into Darkness was the worst.

Chefguy
01-28-2014, 12:41 PM
Sometimes it's general optimism, sometimes it's liking a particular element (director, actor, topic, setting) and sometimes it's just plain curiosity. I didn't see The Lone Ranger but I kinda wanted to. I do like Depp and Hammer. I didn't read any reviews but I got the vibe that it wasn't very good which didn't mean much to me, but the previews were horrible too. It was on my list to check out at some point, but it was SO low-priority I never got around to it before it left the theaters. Since the likelihood of me seeing something low-priority at home that I missed in the theater are practically nil, I probably will never see it. But...

Bad reviews mean little to me. If a critic likes a film it gets put on my list, but if a critic doesn't like a film I disregard their opinion since if I listened to critics I'd have missed some of my favorite films. Return to Oz got eviscerated when it was released and it's one of my All-Time Favorite films. More recent movies that (while not favorites) I quite liked that are rated Rotten are Out Of The Furnace, The Book Thief, 47 Ronan, Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom, Escape Plan, The Family and Runner, Runner (9%!! Fuck me, the Affleck hate is out of control).

If I only saw a few movies a year in the theater I could see how a broad range of reviews, coupled with research into the story and filmmaker pedigree would be extremely important, but since I see an insane amount of movies in the theater it's not as important. Still, there are movies I'll see no matter what. I like Ben Affleck as an actor and as a director. I like Justin Timberlake as an actor. I've liked Gemma Arterton in everything I've seen her in. The director Brad Furman made the excellent The Lincoln Lawyer which brought Matthew MacConaughey back from the dead. No way was I not going to see it, no matter what the critics said. It's wasn't great, but I thought it was good, and it sure was a helluva lot better than 9% would indicate. Fuckers.


I try to balance what the critics have said with what movie-goers have said. Also, previews are a really good indicator of crap/not-crap. Some people just hate action movies and will pan them no matter what; same with other genres. But I'm more likely to hit a theater movie with good reviews and take a chance, than to go to one that is universally panned. That's what TV is for and I can wait 6 months or a year for it to be free.

drewtwo99
01-28-2014, 02:17 PM
Jack the Giant Slayer was the worst one "I saw" but after about 20 minutes into the movie I went to go pick up a friend, and that drive took me about 30 minutes. When I got back, I realized I hadn't missed anything at all.

World War Z was fantastic and was a very good adaptation of the source material. Anyone who disagrees simply didn't understand what the book was about.

World's End was fantastic, and I loved loved loved it. I then went back and watched Hot Fuzz afterwards, and I thought Worlds End was slightly better.

I also saw Sharknado in 2013, but I'm not sure if we're counting that.

DrDeth
01-28-2014, 05:41 PM
Jack the Giant Slayer was the worst one "I saw" but after about 20 minutes into the movie I went to go pick up a friend, and that drive took me about 30 minutes. When I got back, I realized I hadn't missed anything at all.


The guards captain had some good snarky lines. All of which were in the previews.

RikWriter
01-28-2014, 08:36 PM
World's End was fantastic, and I loved loved loved it. I then went back and watched Hot Fuzz afterwards, and I thought Worlds End was slightly better.


Yeah, we'll have to agree to disagree on that one.

FluffyBob
01-28-2014, 09:12 PM
There was a Die Hard 5 ??? I vaugely remember hearing about Die Hard 4: Die Really, Really Hard or whatever it was called, but #5 flew completely under my radar.

I was a bit disappointed by Hobbit: TDoS, but only because I didn't know it was going to be the middle of a trilogy, and I don't see how Peter Jackson has enough story left for a third movie, unless he's planning to do some serious padding.

Uh, out on a limb here maybe, but I get the impression he is willing to do some ridiculous-to-the-point-of-idiocy padding.

I had to go see Hobbit II because I am a Tolkien dork, but I had pretty low expectations after the first movie. It was surprisingly OK. I guess. Ridiculous padding expected of course.

Jack Batty
01-29-2014, 07:49 AM
Yeah, we'll have to agree to disagree on that one.

Ditto.

In fact, I take back my snoboholic post and nominate World's End as the year's worst ... sort of. There are probably others mentioned here that fail harder, but this one had the most potential. I mean Simon Pegg and Nick Frost -- Hot Fuzz, Sean of the Dead, even Paul was funny, but this was painful to watch. I felt as sorry for Simon Pegg as I did for his character when I saw it.

Roundabout
01-29-2014, 01:39 PM
World War Z was fantastic and was a very good adaptation of the source material. Anyone who disagrees simply didn't understand what the book was about.

Well then I guess the author of the book didn't understand it either...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dennis-miller/world-war-z-author-says-m_b_3244960.html

DrDeth
01-29-2014, 02:15 PM
Well then I guess the author of the book didn't understand it either...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dennis-miller/world-war-z-author-says-m_b_3244960.html


He hadn't even seen the film or read the script by that time.


At the time of the interview he had only seen the two-minute trailer.

"I cannot guarantee that the movie will be the book that they love," Brooks said. "And I'm in no position to tell people to see this movie or not see it. If I'm asked I say: See the movie as a movie and judge it as a movie."

But you know, that's Bullshit. He's know exactly what Hollywood does to books, he even said so himself. They offered him a check, he took it. If he didn't want them changing his story, he could have made demands or refused to sell it.

The guy who wrote League of Extraordinary Gentlemen has came out with the same BS for each of his films, and was even called on it by his own collaborator.

Once you take the check, it's out of your hands. Don't deal with the devil then try to complain afterwards.

theR
01-29-2014, 02:26 PM
I'm not sure if it qualifies as a 2013 movie since the international release was late 2012, but Bullet to the Head was by far the worst movie I saw that had a 2013 release in the USA. It has to be one of the most action-less action movies I've seen. All I can remember from the movie is Stallone and Kang constantly sitting in a car and talking. I've seen quite a few of the bad movies mentioned so far in this thread, but this one was my pick for worst by far.

Roundabout
01-29-2014, 02:42 PM
He hadn't even seen the film or read the script by that time.


At the time of the interview he had only seen the two-minute trailer.

"I cannot guarantee that the movie will be the book that they love," Brooks said. "And I'm in no position to tell people to see this movie or not see it. If I'm asked I say: See the movie as a movie and judge it as a movie."

But you know, that's Bullshit. He's know exactly what Hollywood does to books, he even said so himself. They offered him a check, he took it. If he didn't want them changing his story, he could have made demands or refused to sell it.

The guy who wrote League of Extraordinary Gentlemen has came out with the same BS for each of his films, and was even called on it by his own collaborator.

Once you take the check, it's out of your hands. Don't deal with the devil then try to complain afterwards.

I'm not arguing the quality of the film, only the notion that it was somehow faithful to the book.

Here's another interview with Brooks after seeing the movie.

http://io9.com/against-all-odds-author-max-brooks-didnt-hate-the-wor-848787012

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright 2018 STM Reader, LLC.