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Ranchoth
06-18-2014, 10:26 PM
In case that's clear as mud, this is about film "subtitles"—the confusingly named "second" title, typically placed after a colon, used on many films. Often, but not always for a sequel.

I got to thinking about this the other day when I was musing about my own favorite such subtitles. Almost everyone else picks Breakin' 2's (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakin%27_2:_Electric_Boogaloo) Electric Boogaloo as their go-to "joke" sequel title, which is understandable, but that's actually not one of my personal favorites.

Mine are actually:

•Darkman III: Die Darkman Die (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darkman_III:_Die_Darkman_Die). I dunno, maybe it's just the way it's so nakedly gruesome, yet somehow still retains that grip of restraint. An exclamation point would have ruined it. But as it is, "Die Darkman Die" is an oath, escaping through clenched jaws.
•Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metalstorm:_The_Destruction_of_Jared-Syn)
I've never seen this movie. I thought I'd seen parts of it, but it turned out I was thinking of Steel Dawn. But I think that's for the best, really. As the title tells me—in many, portentous and chilling words—absolutely nothing about the story.

Leaving aside the "Metalstorm" for the moment—whatever that, it, or he is—"Jared Syn"? Is that a person? A place? Does Jared Syn wreak destruction? Is it about the quest to destroy Jared Syn? Is it a King Lear-style chronicle of the downfall of Jared Syn? Does the Metalstorm actually figure into these events, or is it just the heritage title of a series? Is it a metaphorical "Metal storm," or some kind of brand name, or a literal storm of metal of some kind?

This title isn't just oblique, it's actually impossible to understand. It sounds wonderful, intimidating, bleak, and it might as well be gibberish. Half of it is gibberish, really.

You can't even tell what genre the movie is, unless you at least see the poster. Which tells you that it might be science fiction. Or maybe fantasy. Or science-fantasy. Or post-apocalyptic action. Or some kind of especially weird Hong Kong action movie.

So, to this day, "The Destruction of Jared-Syn" is one of my favorite movie titles, and I have no idea what it means. And a part of me doesn't want to know. It could never measure up to the giant in my imagination.


So,those are my picks...but what are YOUR favorite "subtitles"? And/or which ones do you feel truly stand among the greats, for reasons serious or lighthearted?

Peter Morris
06-18-2014, 11:31 PM
House II - The Second Story.

I've not seen it, I hear it's dreadful, but the title is great.

The Other Waldo Pepper
06-18-2014, 11:53 PM
Die Hard 2: Die Harder.

Smapti
06-19-2014, 12:21 AM
I'm personally fond of "The Secret of the Ooze", "The Legend of Curly's Gold", and "The Smell of Fear".

Johnny Angel
06-19-2014, 01:09 AM
I've been repeating the "Electric Bugaloo" line for sequels since I first heard it tossed out in an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Getting old? Just ask my wife.

How about:

Dangeresque 1: Dangeresque, too?
Dangeresque 2: This Time, It's Not Dangeresque 1,
Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective

Private Bin
06-19-2014, 02:14 AM
dangeresque 3: The criminal projective

In 3D!

Accidental Martyr
06-19-2014, 02:52 AM
Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever

xizor
06-19-2014, 09:32 AM
Leaving aside the "Metalstorm" for the moment—whatever that, it, or he is—"Jared Syn"? Is that a person? A place? Does Jared Syn wreak destruction?

The only thing noteworthy about that movie is "Holy Crap! A young Molly Ringwald!"

And my contribution is the classic:
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

burpo the wonder mutt
06-19-2014, 10:08 AM
Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)

The use of "quickening" here is the screenwriter's contrivance. The real meaning:

In pregnancy terms, quickening is the moment in pregnancy when the pregnant woman starts to feel or perceive fetal movements in the uterus.--Wikipedia

Whoops! :eek:

blondebear
06-19-2014, 10:52 AM
"The Legend Continues" (Anchorman II, Kung Fu, Boggy Creek, Godfather, Dragonworld, Michael Jackson, Kenny Rogers as The Gambler III)

Nom_de_Plume
06-19-2014, 12:20 PM
The only thing noteworthy about that movie is "Holy Crap! A young Molly Ringwald!"

You might be thinking of Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone, which, I believe was released in 3D.

buddha_david
06-19-2014, 02:09 PM
Friday the 13th, Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

(had to look up which ## it was.)

Skywatcher
06-19-2014, 03:04 PM
House II - The Second Story.

I've not seen it, I hear it's dreadful, but the title is great.Seen it. Bad but fun at times, sort of Big Trouble in Little China but with a ghost town instead of Chinatown.

Omar Little
06-19-2014, 03:10 PM
House II - The Second Story.

I've not seen it, I hear it's dreadful, but the title is great.

Is that the one with Kid and Play?

Zsofia
06-19-2014, 04:17 PM
I thought Scream Blacula Scream was a sub-title, but it turns out it's a standalone title (albeit to a sequel.) It's still awesome, though.

xizor
06-19-2014, 04:42 PM
You might be thinking of Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone, which, I believe was released in 3D.

You are correct. Right year (1983), wrong colon-sub-named sci fi movie.
In that case Metalstorm has zero reason to be remembered

Death of Rats
06-19-2014, 04:56 PM
You are correct. Right year (1983), wrong colon-sub-named sci fi movie.
In that case Metalstorm has zero reason to be remembered

It is best remembered for being the movie that Richard Moll shaved his head for. It is the main reason he was cast as Bull on Night Court. :)

ftg
06-19-2014, 05:20 PM
Howling II: ... Your Sister Is a Werewolf had the best subtitle in the series. Featuring the lovely Annie McEnroe.

It's got dots after the colon, so you know it's good.

Miller
06-19-2014, 05:42 PM
Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)

The use of "quickening" here is the screenwriter's contrivance. The real meaning:

In pregnancy terms, quickening is the moment in pregnancy when the pregnant woman starts to feel or perceive fetal movements in the uterus.--Wikipedia

Whoops! :eek:

I'm pretty sure the word "Quickening" was used in the first movie specifically because of that definition. It's a deliberate birth metaphor: the last surviving immortal was meant to herald the birth of a new age of human civilization, and the Quickening was the moment that those changes would first start to be felt in the world at large.

Miller
06-19-2014, 05:45 PM
You are correct. Right year (1983), wrong colon-sub-named sci fi movie.
In that case Metalstorm has zero reason to be remembered

Unless I, also, am confusing it with another grade-Z '80s sci-fi flick, Metalstorm features a really cool cyborg with treads instead of legs. Well worth the price of admission. Provided the price of admission is less than a dollar.

Tim R. Mortiss
06-19-2014, 08:28 PM
I saw both Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn and Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone in the theaters back in the eighties (pray for me), and they were both as good/bad as you might imagine. One of them (I'm not sure which) had the evil mastermind looking at a trio of girls he'd just kidnapped, and cackling to himself, "I hope they don't have any scars. I hate it when they have scars!"

As for movie secondary titles, you can't get much better than, "The WRATH of Khan."

silenus
06-19-2014, 08:39 PM
In current production is Sharknado 2: The Second One.

Itself
06-19-2014, 11:43 PM
Death Bed: The Bed That Eats People.

JoseB
06-20-2014, 08:38 AM
Death Bed: The Bed That Eats People.

Ohgodohgodohgod I wanted to mention that one...

Did you know that you can watch the whole movie in YouTube, in all of its "glory"?

It is as horrid and stupid as it sounds... Although I think that it is rather good to watch it drunk and/or MST3K-ing it with friends.

ElvisL1ves
06-20-2014, 10:35 AM
Beethoven's Second was kind of a cute name.

Flander
06-20-2014, 12:41 PM
Death Bed: The Bed That Eats People.

I only know of this movie because Patton Oswalt does a bit on this flick in his stand up.

Face Intentionally Left Blank
06-20-2014, 03:30 PM
Seen it. Bad but fun at times, sort of Big Trouble in Little China but with a ghost town instead of Chinatown.

I liked House 2 better than House, for pretty much the reasons you gave. It makes no pretext of being good, it's just weird fun.

Blondebear's suggestion of "The Legend Continues" seems to be one we could use like "Electric Boogaloo" and people would understand.

actualliberalnotoneofthose
06-20-2014, 10:36 PM
Rambo: First Blood Part II

mbh
06-21-2014, 01:16 PM
The Fearless Vampire Killers or: Pardon Me, But Your Teeth Are In My Neck.

A*P*E: Attack of the Giant Horny Gorilla

If I interpret imdb's listing correctly, in the original theatrical release, "Ape", "A*P*E", and "Attack of the Giant Horny Gorilla" were three alternate titles used in different markets. However, I know I have seen a VHS cassette with "A*P*E" as the title, and "Attack of the Giant Horny Gorilla" as the subtitle.