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-   -   I now know which is the dumbest burger-joint of them all! (https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=876672)

Isosleepy 06-04-2019 10:02 PM

I now know which is the dumbest burger-joint of them all!
 
One chain, (which I shall not identify because thatíd be mean, but it isnít Burger King, and they have a thing for clowns) has finally broken my goggles, to where they do nothing. This chain (not Wendyís, and they sound vaguely Scottish) invites us to ďtry all four world-wide favoritesĒ. While the notion that there are any world-wide favorites is odd, given human-kindís affinity for fighting over anything, weíll chalk that up to mere hyperbole. It is the supposed world-wide favorites themselves the which I have issue with.

The chain (not in-n-out, and who took its name from two brothers whose actual, well, name it was) conveniently marks each offering with the flag of its supposed country of origin.

First. Stroopwafel McFlurry. Netherlands. Ok, the stroopwafel is quintessentially Dutch. Iíll give them that. Of course, no right-thinking, never-drink-the-water, bicycle-riding speed-skating enthusiast would ever violate a stroopwafel in this way. Civilized people, heck - humans - know to put the thing over their cup of tea or coffee, let it slightly soften, and bite chunks out of it to make funny shapes. Blending it with whatever that flurry stuff is, is anathema. But, at least, the name is (partly) Dutch, as is the (shudder) inspiration.

But next. Tomato Mozzarella Chicken Sandwich. Canada. Yes, Canada. Now, Iíve been to Canada. Many excellent food-items have at least a de-minimis Canadian feel or connection. If you wanted to stereotype, you could make a Canadian Tyre sandwich. Or a Maple Glazed Donut Quarter Pounder. Fucking Mozarella?

Next. Cheesy Bacon Fries. Australia. I mean, good on ya mate for not making a joke out of Australian culinary tradition by managing to avoid the word barbie. But you went overboard like Jack went overboard the Titanic right before that bitch didnít share her float, by avoiding any connection, whatsoever, to anything remotely Australian. This is like having a Christmas song be about an appendectomy in May.

Last. Best. Grand McExtreme Bacon Burger. Spain. But wait! They give it a Spanish flair by adding Gouda cheese. Gouda of course being a town in the Netherlands. Now, technically, Gouda was Spanish. Once. Not in 1960, but for a bit in the early 17th century, a brief phase abruptly ended early in the eighty-years war. (1672 or thereabouts). Maybe the geniuses at Hamburger University knew this, and are slyly telling us that the cheese they use is really, really fucking old. But when looking at the totality of the 4 internationally acclaimed culinary favorites, Occam demands we conclude that they came up with four new-ish delivery vehicles for fat, salt and carbs, and (Iíd like to think inspired by Eddie Izzard, but fat fucking chance) they stuck a flag on it.

Iíve seen more effort to stick to the supposed theme in a kindergarten fingerpainting project cut short by a fire drill. Iíve seen more research done picking the colors for a frat-house kitchen towel. And call me naive, I expected better.

Now, I claim this unnamed, anonymous chain is the dumbest, assuming facts not actually introduced into evidence. But they have to be, right? RIGHT? 😱

ZipperJJ 06-04-2019 10:20 PM

You realize that these items are items that were made for and became popular with McDonalds customers in their respective countries, and not examples of traditional cuisines of the lands, right?

You used an awful lot of words in your post so I can't quite tell if you aren't following the genesis of this whole promotion, or if you are sure of it but think people in other countries have shit taste in McDonalds food.

Isosleepy 06-04-2019 10:47 PM

Not appreciating you introducing a perfectly reasonable explanation when I’m in mid-huff. For a moment there I felt intellectually superior to a giant fast-food chain, only to learn I am the dummy. Ignorance fought, sure. But I don’t have to like it.

Isamu 06-04-2019 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isosleepy (Post 21681431)
One chain, (which I shall not identify because thatíd be mean, but it isnít Burger King, and they have a thing for clowns) has finally broken my goggles, to where they do nothing. This chain (not Wendyís, and they sound vaguely Scottish) invites us to ďtry all four world-wide favoritesĒ. While the notion that there are any world-wide favorites is odd, given human-kindís affinity for fighting over anything, weíll chalk that up to mere hyperbole. It is the supposed world-wide favorites themselves the which I have issue with.

The chain (not in-n-out, and who took its name from two brothers whose actual, well, name it was) conveniently marks each offering with the flag of its supposed country of origin.

First. Stroopwafel McFlurry. Netherlands. Ok, the stroopwafel is quintessentially Dutch. Iíll give them that. Of course, no right-thinking, never-drink-the-water, bicycle-riding speed-skating enthusiast would ever violate a stroopwafel in this way. Civilized people, heck - humans - know to put the thing over their cup of tea or coffee, let it slightly soften, and bite chunks out of it to make funny shapes. Blending it with whatever that flurry stuff is, is anathema. But, at least, the name is (partly) Dutch, as is the (shudder) inspiration.

But next. Tomato Mozzarella Chicken Sandwich. Canada. Yes, Canada. Now, Iíve been to Canada. Many excellent food-items have at least a de-minimis Canadian feel or connection. If you wanted to stereotype, you could make a Canadian Tyre sandwich. Or a Maple Glazed Donut Quarter Pounder. Fucking Mozarella?

Next. Cheesy Bacon Fries. Australia. I mean, good on ya mate for not making a joke out of Australian culinary tradition by managing to avoid the word barbie. But you went overboard like Jack went overboard the Titanic right before that bitch didnít share her float, by avoiding any connection, whatsoever, to anything remotely Australian. This is like having a Christmas song be about an appendectomy in May.

Last. Best. Grand McExtreme Bacon Burger. Spain. But wait! They give it a Spanish flair by adding Gouda cheese. Gouda of course being a town in the Netherlands. Now, technically, Gouda was Spanish. Once. Not in 1960, but for a bit in the early 17th century, a brief phase abruptly ended early in the eighty-years war. (1672 or thereabouts). Maybe the geniuses at Hamburger University knew this, and are slyly telling us that the cheese they use is really, really fucking old. But when looking at the totality of the 4 internationally acclaimed culinary favorites, Occam demands we conclude that they came up with four new-ish delivery vehicles for fat, salt and carbs, and (Iíd like to think inspired by Eddie Izzard, but fat fucking chance) they stuck a flag on it.

Iíve seen more effort to stick to the supposed theme in a kindergarten fingerpainting project cut short by a fire drill. Iíve seen more research done picking the colors for a frat-house kitchen towel. And call me naive, I expected better.

Now, I claim this unnamed, anonymous chain is the dumbest, assuming facts not actually introduced into evidence. But they have to be, right? RIGHT? ��

Nice rant, but do you have a flag??:D

Machine Elf 06-05-2019 07:42 AM

I was disappointed to see that nothing from Japan made the cut.

Although I have to say, "Teritama burger" sounds a bit too much like "teratoma burger," the latter being something you really don't want to see on your dinner plate...

tricoteuse 06-05-2019 08:00 AM

Teratoma burgers = White Castle's sliders.

Dung Beetle 06-05-2019 08:03 AM

I thought it was a very lovely rant, like the kind we had in the good old days. I particularly liked these lines:
Quote:

I’ve seen more effort to stick to the supposed theme in a kindergarten fingerpainting project cut short by a fire drill. I’ve seen more research done picking the colors for a frat-house kitchen towel.
However, I'm afraid that by mentioning the name of the Stroopwafel McFlurry, you may have accidentally given away the identity of the restaurant. As you say, that's just mean. :(

carrps 06-05-2019 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dung Beetle (Post 21681910)
I thought it was a very lovely rant, like the kind we had in the good old days. I particularly liked these lines:
However, I'm afraid that by mentioning the name of the Stroopwafel McFlurry, you may have accidentally given away the identity of the restaurant. As you say, that's just mean. :(

I know. I was completely confuzzled until I saw that 'Mc' as part of the item name.

Chronos 06-05-2019 09:54 AM

Whereas I was confused, because I didn't realize that Hardee's had any items with "Mc-" in the name.

kanicbird 06-05-2019 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZipperJJ (Post 21681453)
You realize that these items are items that were made for and became popular with McDonalds customers in their respective countries, and not examples of traditional cuisines of the lands, right? ....

Your making a lot of assumptions here as he didn't name the restaurant.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isosleepy
Not appreciating you introducing a perfectly reasonable explanation when Iím in mid-huff. For a moment there I felt intellectually superior to a giant fast-food chain, only to learn I am the dummy. Ignorance fought, sure. But I donít have to like it.


Don't admit to anything so fast, you are ruining your way to wiggle out of this one.

Knowed Out 06-05-2019 10:12 AM

I now know there's such a thing as Stroopwafel. Ignorance defeated.

Isosleepy 06-05-2019 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kanicbird (Post 21682174)
Your making a lot of assumptions here as he didn't name the restaurant.




Don't admit to anything so fast, you are ruining your way to wiggle out of this one.

Nah. Life is so much easier when you just acknowledge when you know youíre wrong. Especially on the internet.

DesertDog 06-05-2019 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Machine Elf (Post 21681871)
Although I have to say, "Teritama burger" sounds a bit too much like "teratoma burger," the latter being something you really don't want to see on your dinner plate...

Funny you should mention that.

Machine Elf 06-05-2019 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dung Beetle (Post 21681910)
I thought it was a very lovely rant, like the kind we had in the good old days. I particularly liked these lines:
However, I'm afraid that by mentioning the name of the Stroopwafel McFlurry...

I see the name, and I instantly think "Schutzstaffel McFlurry." What kind of dessert would that be? :dubious:

Paintcharge 06-05-2019 11:45 AM

Apparently for couple of hours on June 6th, they will sell you one of these items for any piece of foreign currency.

Treppenwitz 06-05-2019 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isosleepy (Post 21681431)

I’ve seen more effort to stick to the supposed theme ........ ��

I was most upset to see the wind taken out of your sails by Zipper. Maybe this will cheer you up.

Here in the UK they are advertising their latest burger variants thus.

And just in case that site is not visible in the US, they proudly announce that

Quote:

Great Tastes of America is back!
The great American tastes that are not available in America.
Sticking like glue to their theme, they trumpet

Quote:

...the awesome flavours of New York, Mississippi, South Carolina and Kansas City.
- but none of these awesome flavours are actually available in the US, it would seem. Maybe one of you guys could come over here and confirm that the awesome flavour of New York is exactly like - well - something you've never tasted.

Are there TV ads? Of course there are TV ads.

Has that made you feel any better, sleepy?

j

Anny Middon 06-05-2019 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paintcharge (Post 21682478)
Apparently for couple of hours on June 6th, they will sell you one of these items for any piece of foreign currency.

Really? Any piece of foreign currency? Because I'm pretty sure if I looked around a bit I'd find a Canadian penny somewhere in the house.

BubbaDog 06-05-2019 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isosleepy (Post 21682218)
Nah. Life is so much easier when you just acknowledge when you know youíre wrong. Especially on the internet.

You misspelled marriage.

Paintcharge 06-05-2019 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anny Middon (Post 21682513)
Really? Any piece of foreign currency? Because I'm pretty sure if I looked around a bit I'd find a Canadian penny somewhere in the house.

That's how I read it.

Dung Beetle 06-05-2019 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Machine Elf (Post 21682267)
I see the name, and I instantly think "Schutzstaffel McFlurry." What kind of dessert would that be? :dubious:

Somewhat less popular than the Schwanzstucker McFlurry, I'd imagine.

Dewey Finn 06-05-2019 12:35 PM

I like that McDonald's is offering items from other countries here in the US (and it's an idea that I had a few years ago). Perhaps they can repeat the experiment later, with other items from other countries?

Shoeless 06-05-2019 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chronos (Post 21682151)
Whereas I was confused, because I didn't realize that Hardee's had any items with "Mc-" in the name.

When the OP mentioned the chain's affinity for clowns, the first thing I thought of was Jack In The Box. But then none of the rest of the clues fit. :smack:

Isosleepy 06-05-2019 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Treppenwitz (Post 21682497)
I was most upset to see the wind taken out of your sails by Zipper. Maybe this will cheer you up.

Here in the UK they are advertising their latest burger variants thus.

And just in case that site is not visible in the US, they proudly announce that



Sticking like glue to their theme, they trumpet



- but none of these awesome flavours are actually available in the US, it would seem. Maybe one of you guys could come over here and confirm that the awesome flavour of New York is exactly like - well - something you've never tasted.

Are there TV ads? Of course there are TV ads.

Has that made you feel any better, sleepy?

j

I remember some Mel Gibson movie where he plays (?) a conspiracy nut who got one correct. ďI was right? I was right! Wait, what was I right about?Ē But yes, I feel much, much better!

Yllaria 06-05-2019 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Treppenwitz (Post 21682497)
I was most upset to see the wind taken out of your sails by Zipper. Maybe this will cheer you up. . . .
Quote:

Quote:
Great Tastes of America is back!
The great American tastes that are not available in America.
. . .

Pity they left out the Hawaiian Burger - - it's got spam.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dung Beetle (Post 21682600)
Somewhat less popular than the Schwanzstucker McFlurry, I'd imagine.

You know, until I clicked on the link, I thought Isosleepy was joking about Stroopwafel. Live and learn.

bump 06-05-2019 01:43 PM

We should just be thankful we didn't get these sandwiches that they produced in the UK about 20 years ago...


I actually had the chicken one, and it wasn't awesome, to put it mildly.

kaylasdad99 06-05-2019 02:10 PM

Don't care what ZipperJJ says. Like Dung Beetle, I found it a very enjoyable piece of writin' and rantin'.

don't mind me 06-05-2019 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dung Beetle (Post 21682600)
Somewhat less popular than the Schwanzstucker McFlurry, I'd imagine.

I want an enormous Schwanzstucker McFlurry.

don't mind me 06-05-2019 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yllaria (Post 21682751)
Pity they left out the Hawaiian Burger - - it's got spam.

You know, until I clicked on the link, I thought Isosleepy was joking about Stroopwafel. Live and learn.

You can get them every Saturday morning at the Beltonian Theatre, Belton, Texas. Beltoni I don't know why they call them Norwegian.

Richard Pearse 06-05-2019 04:51 PM

I lived in Australia for nearly 20 years, ate at McDs regularly and have never heard of cheesy bacon fries. I’ll happily admit to being oblivious to the latest food trends, but I struggle to believe that it was an Australian “favourite” if they were even sold there.

Beckdawrek 06-05-2019 05:25 PM

Just order French fries with that. They're really not French you know.
But, damn they're good.

Beckdawrek 06-05-2019 05:26 PM

Dbl. Post., sorry

DesertDog 06-06-2019 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anny Middon (Post 21682513)
Really? Any piece of foreign currency? Because I'm pretty sure if I looked around a bit I'd find a Canadian penny somewhere in the house.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paintcharge (Post 21682581)
That's how I read it.

I was gonna say 'currency' means paper money but the ad shows coins. OTOH they eliminated that 'Spanish' gouda double burger from the list. On the gripping hand, nothing says 'Canada' like chicken with tomato sauce and mozzerella. :dubious:

Atamasama 06-06-2019 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beckdawrek (Post 21683174)
Just order French fries with that. They're really not French you know.

Of course they are. They are fried, French cut potatoes. The julienne technique is most certainly of French origin.

Machine Elf 06-06-2019 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dung Beetle (Post 21682600)
Somewhat less popular than the Schwanzstucker McFlurry, I'd imagine.

"I'll have what she's having."

boffking 06-06-2019 09:37 AM

What goes on a Canadian Tyre sandwich?

pulykamell 06-06-2019 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bump (Post 21682763)
We should just be thankful we didn't get these sandwiches that they produced in the UK about 20 years ago...


I actually had the chicken one, and it wasn't awesome, to put it mildly.

Those actually look kinda awesome to me. I did stop by a McDonalds twice while in India to get a sense of their local spin on items, and they all were pretty damned good fast food. (I had the McAloo Tikki and Maharaja Mac, and probably a taste of something else.)Maybe this particular promotion didn’t do it as well, but both look rather tasty to me, especially the lamb McSpicy.

Dewey Finn 06-06-2019 09:53 AM

I'd like to try the McDonald's products from India, but many in the US may not like something too spicy.

mixdenny 06-06-2019 10:51 AM

I don't read many Pit threads, the angry titles are enough for me. But this one I actually enjoyed. Got to get out and try them all to make up my mind. If only I knew where to go.

Dennis

bump 06-06-2019 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pulykamell (Post 21684151)
Those actually look kinda awesome to me. I did stop by a McDonalds twice while in India to get a sense of their local spin on items, and they all were pretty damned good fast food. (I had the McAloo Tikki and Maharaja Mac, and probably a taste of something else.)Maybe this particular promotion didnít do it as well, but both look rather tasty to me, especially the lamb McSpicy.

The McChicken Korma Naan sounded pretty good, but the chicken wasn't particularly spicy or flavorful, and the mango sauce was too sweet and kind of overpowered everything- that's the main thing I recall was that it was kind of jarring.

Of course, that was almost exactly 20 years ago when I had it, so I may remember it less fondly than I should!

sps49sd 06-06-2019 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isosleepy (Post 21681487)
...Ignorance fought, sure. But I donít have to like it.

Been there, brother.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tricoteuse (Post 21681904)
Teratoma burgers = White Castle's sliders.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paintcharge (Post 21682478)
Apparently for couple of hours on June 6th, they will sell you one of these items for any piece of foreign currency.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bump (Post 21682763)
We should just be thankful we didn't get these sandwiches that they produced in the UK about 20 years ago...


I actually had the chicken one, and it wasn't awesome, to put it mildly.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atamasama (Post 21684012)
Of course they are. They are fried, French cut potatoes. The julienne technique is most certainly of French origin.

I have learned more in this Pit thread than most days online.
Quote:

Originally Posted by Treppenwitz (Post 21682497)
I was most upset to see the wind taken out of your sails by Zipper. Maybe this will cheer you up.

Here in the UK they are advertising their latest burger variants thus.

And just in case that site is not visible in the US, they proudly announce that



Sticking like glue to their theme, they trumpet



- but none of these awesome flavours are actually available in the US, it would seem. Maybe one of you guys could come over here and confirm that the awesome flavour of New York is exactly like - well - something you've never tasted.

Are there TV ads? Of course there are TV ads.

Has that made you feel any better, sleepy?

j

Gah!

Beckdawrek 06-06-2019 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atamasama (Post 21684012)
Of course they are. They are fried, French cut potatoes. The julienne technique is most certainly of French origin.

These fries are cut and fried right here in the good ol' U.S. of A.
(Unless you're in another country, where this particular hamburger joint is considered, oh I don't know, AMERICAN)

Staggerlee 06-06-2019 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bump (Post 21682763)
We should just be thankful we didn't get these sandwiches that they produced in the UK about 20 years ago...


I actually had the chicken one, and it wasn't awesome, to put it mildly.

Whereas I seem to remember this being the only food I ever enjoyed at erm, Wimpy, or wherever.

Atamasama 06-06-2019 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beckdawrek (Post 21684569)
These fries are cut and fried right here in the good ol' U.S. of A.
(Unless you're in another country, where this particular hamburger joint is considered, oh I don't know, AMERICAN)

Yes but they are French fries. That is the proper name. If fried potatoes are not cut julienne then they are called something else. Crinkle fries, waffle fries, shoestring fries, wedges, tater tots, homestyle fries, potato cakes, hash browns, etc. All are variations of fried potato not cut in the French style. Hence the importance and accuracy of the name.

When you buy French cut green beans itís the same thing, theyíre not green beans from France.

If I eat Italian sausage, that doesnít mean it was made in Italy. It means it is made with seasonings popularized in Italy. When I buy it I know what to expect. Belgian waffles donít have to literally be made in Belgium, or from Belgian ingredients, or prepared by a person with Belgian citizenship. Itís a particular style named for its place of origin.

You must be fun to watch shopping in the ďethnic foodĒ aisle of a grocery store. :)

Great Antibob 06-06-2019 02:12 PM

Damn. So you're telling me devil's food cake isn't made from ingredients out of Lucifer's kitchen? And that Mississippi Mud isn't literally from Mississippi? :eek:

Y'all are ruining all my cherished foodie assumptions.

Left Hand of Dorkness 06-06-2019 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tricoteuse (Post 21681904)
Teratoma burgers = White Castle's sliders.

I'm sorry, waiter, I asked for two more burgers.

Nars Glinley 06-06-2019 03:45 PM

I was in Australia a couple of years ago and ordered the Cheesy Bacon Fries. I really wanted to like them because cheesy bacon but meh.

Beckdawrek 06-06-2019 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atamasama (Post 21684682)
Yes but they are French fries. That is the proper name. If fried potatoes are not cut julienne then they are called something else. Crinkle fries, waffle fries, shoestring fries, wedges, tater tots, homestyle fries, potato cakes, hash browns, etc. All are variations of fried potato not cut in the French style. Hence the importance and accuracy of the name.

When you buy French cut green beans itís the same thing, theyíre not green beans from France.

If I eat Italian sausage, that doesnít mean it was made in Italy. It means it is made with seasonings popularized in Italy. When I buy it I know what to expect. Belgian waffles donít have to literally be made in Belgium, or from Belgian ingredients, or prepared by a person with Belgian citizenship. Itís a particular style named for its place of origin.

You must be fun to watch shopping in the ďethnic foodĒ aisle of a grocery store. :)

I'm not buying French fries in the ethic food section. They are in the freezer section, right next to fish-sticks. Plus, I do know fish don't grow into sticks and bread themselves.
And, BTW I'm always fun!

dropzone 06-06-2019 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Treppenwitz (Post 21682497)
Here in the UK they are advertising their latest burger variants thus.

The closest store where I can get them is in Strabane, Ulster, NI. I can recall a ChiDope held in a bar that had been a top collection point for the IRA--and they thought WE were rambunctious. I may not be welcome.

OldOlds 06-06-2019 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kanicbird (Post 21682174)
Your making a lot of assumptions here as he didn't name the restaurant.




Don't admit to anything so fast, you are ruining your way to wiggle out of this one.

Agreed. You need to double down and keep digging until you get out. That's the only way. You'll know you're right when every other poster is calling you an obstinate jerk.

BigT 06-07-2019 01:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atamasama (Post 21684682)
If I eat Italian sausage, that doesnít mean it was made in Italy. It means it is made with seasonings popularized in Italy. When I buy it I know what to expect. Belgian waffles donít have to literally be made in Belgium, or from Belgian ingredients, or prepared by a person with Belgian citizenship. Itís a particular style named for its place of origin.

Sure, but those dishes definitely originated in those countries. French fries, on the other hand, are more ambiguous. Sure, they were popularized in America through the French, but it's possible that Belgians invented the dish first, according to records.

But, even if they did create them, I'd argue that the fast food fry is not really the same dish as the original French fried potato. I consider it an American invention. As does a lot of the world, who call them "American fries" to distinguish them from other kinds.


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