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-   -   Finish my sentence, and start a new one! (https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=857802)

Elendil's Heir 06-30-2018 12:06 PM

Finish my sentence, and start a new one!
 
Most of my encounters with the police _______________

boson 07-01-2018 12:51 AM

Most of my encounters with the police have ended up on You Tube.

When I get really mad _______________

Beckdawrek 07-01-2018 01:29 AM

When I get really mad I curse.


When I walk my dogs we_________.

Alpha Twit 07-01-2018 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beckdawrek (Post 21056959)
When I get really mad I curse.


When I walk my dogs we_________.

When I walk my dogs we both use the same hydrant.

I had to go the the pharmacy to pick up my __________.

Beckdawrek 07-01-2018 10:55 AM

I had to go to the pharmacy and pick up my date.

When I watch a movie_______.

Elendil's Heir 07-01-2018 04:10 PM

I can never stay to the end due to various bladder problems.

My doctor said my bladder problems _______________

Beckdawrek 07-01-2018 04:39 PM

^^^^^are genetic.


My young daughter just told me_________.

Elendil's Heir 07-01-2018 04:42 PM

"When I get old enough, I wanna marry someone just like the President!"

I have a black stapler, but I still __________________

Patx2 07-01-2018 07:15 PM

favor my blue one.

When I get up in the morning...

snfaulkner 07-01-2018 07:36 PM

...I cry myself back to sleep.

This will be the day that...

Beckdawrek 07-01-2018 07:45 PM

^^^^^I quit my job to write the great American novel.


I graduated from_________.

Elendil's Heir 07-02-2018 10:13 AM

Starfleet Academy, but I've found it hasn't really helped me find a good job dirtside.

The next time I head out into space, ___________________________

Cardigan 07-02-2018 10:35 AM

I'll remember to take my bunny slippers, instant cocoa, and chewable vitamins.


If I had a hammer ____________

Patx2 07-02-2018 11:25 AM

I wouldnít hammer in the morning, thatís just rude.

I really have a craving right now for...

Knowed Out 07-02-2018 11:32 AM

... pickles and raspberry ice cream.

I've got an appointment with ...

Elendil's Heir 07-02-2018 01:27 PM

the White House Communications Director, if I can just figure out who it is today.

The last time I visited the White House, ________________________________

gkster 07-02-2018 01:40 PM

_____was over 10 years ago.

I plan not to visit the White House again until _______

Typo Negative 07-02-2018 03:27 PM

___it is a smoldering pile of wreckage.

The Alien invasion began_____

Patx2 07-02-2018 05:03 PM

the day I was born.

It is so freaking hot outside...

Alpha Twit 07-02-2018 05:55 PM

...I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

I mixed my JELL-O with....

Spoons 07-02-2018 07:06 PM

... 7-Up instead of water, and it didn't work out well.

I went to the library, but ended up ...

snfaulkner 07-02-2018 07:17 PM

... in jail for lewd acts.

While in jail...

Elendil's Heir 07-02-2018 10:38 PM

, it is generally advisable not to brag about the many profitable years you spent as a police informant.

The SDMB Postcard Exchange this summer _____________

Beckdawrek 07-02-2018 10:50 PM

^^^^^was quite the experience.



The last time I wrote a real pen and paper letter it was___________.

snfaulkner 07-02-2018 10:52 PM

A ransom note/communist manifesto.

When I close my eyes I can...

boson 07-02-2018 11:50 PM

...more easily walk into walls...with a decent excuse.

When I cover my ears...

snfaulkner 07-03-2018 12:45 AM

...the voices telling me to kill grow louder.

Screaming to make them stop does....

Spoons 07-03-2018 01:04 AM

... nothing but annoy the cat.

The last time I had a drink at a bar ...

snfaulkner 07-03-2018 01:06 AM

...I wound up in jail for lewd acts.

After my second offense....

Ambivalid 07-03-2018 03:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snfaulkner (Post 21060979)
...I wound up in jail for lewd acts.

After my second offense....

I realized i needed to figure out better ways to conceal my drinking and driving.

Is that a banana in your pocket or are you...

Knowed Out 07-03-2018 08:52 AM

... hugely endowed?

Is that a nose on your face or ...

Patx2 07-03-2018 11:11 AM

are you a bird disguised as a human?

When I eat waffles...

Thin Ice 07-03-2018 11:55 AM

I like to make sure each indent has its share of butter and syrup.

When the electricity goes out...

Spoons 07-03-2018 01:44 PM

... I stumble around in the dark, trying to find a flashlight.

While I was at the supermarket yesterday ...

Prof. Pepperwinkle 07-03-2018 01:49 PM

...the limes and the coconuts were conspiring to overthrow the produce section.

One time, at band camp, ...

Cardigan 07-03-2018 02:34 PM

....someone dropped movie references that completely went by me.

If at first you don't succeed...

snfaulkner 07-03-2018 05:23 PM

...then you suck at everything, you loser!

Asking randos on the internet has...

Ambivalid 07-03-2018 05:29 PM

Led to an incurable STD, losing my home, my marriage and my car.

Nothing is better than...

Beckdawrek 07-03-2018 06:12 PM

^^^going to jail for a lewd act.




When I was on the witness stand__________.

snfaulkner 07-03-2018 06:20 PM

...I threaten to kill the prosecutor, the jury, the bailiff, and the judge.

While in jail for contempt...

Spoons 07-03-2018 07:20 PM

... I got a lecture from my lawyer.

It's pouring rain outside, and ...

Beckdawrek 07-03-2018 07:27 PM

I am going out there to play.



After I got all wet I____________.

snfaulkner 07-03-2018 07:31 PM

...contracted pneumonia, was hospitalized for 2 months, and forced into bankruptcy.


My childlike wonder has...

Patx2 07-03-2018 08:20 PM

cost me many jobs and promotions.

When Iím near bubble wrap...

Elendil's Heir 07-03-2018 09:03 PM

I feel compelled to pop every last damn one.

I was talking to Cecil Adams just the other day, and he told me, _______________

snfaulkner 07-03-2018 09:11 PM

...to mind my own business, leave him alone, and for god's sake but on some god damn pants before he calls the cops.

My pants were...

gkster 07-03-2018 09:39 PM

...where they should be, which is more than I can say for yours!

The heat wave here is breaking, and ____

Club 33 07-03-2018 09:53 PM

... so is the wind.

I should find a sharp stick so I can _____________________

Sicks Ate 07-03-2018 09:58 PM

......stick it in my pee-hole.

I should seek counseling for __________

snfaulkner 07-03-2018 09:59 PM

...my numerous arrests for lewd acts.

The last time this happened...

Spoons 07-04-2018 12:08 AM

... it didn't turn out well.

I had to put on a sweater because ...

snfaulkner 07-04-2018 12:12 AM

...I needed to hide the bloodstain on my shirt from the murdered hobo.

The downward spiral began when...

Elendil's Heir 07-04-2018 12:26 AM

I attributed naughty words to Cecil Adams in this thread.

I never curse, myself; instead, I ______________

Beckdawrek 07-04-2018 12:31 AM

^^^^called my attorney, I am charged with lewd acts, again.


When I get off the phone_________.

Ambivalid 07-04-2018 12:31 AM

Internalize and suppress.

The worst actor in the history of the world HAS to be...


ETA: Simulpost with Beck

snfaulkner 07-04-2018 02:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beckdawrek (Post 21063165)
^^^^called my attorney, I am charged with lewd acts, again.


When I get off the phone_________.

I curse the name of who called me, break down in tears, turn the music back up, and open a beer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ambivalid (Post 21063167)
Internalize and suppress.

The worst actor in the history of the world HAS to be...


ETA: Simulpost with Beck

Charlemagne, because how often to I get to say charlemagne?

The last time Charlemagne was brought up...

Spoons 07-04-2018 02:22 AM

... I was asleep in history class, and failed the test.

Now, I was awake for Henry VIII, and ...

Beckdawrek 07-04-2018 03:11 AM

^^^^^^the big divorce.



On my way to the chopping block________.

Spoons 07-04-2018 03:21 AM

... my trusty steed and henchmen appeared, defeated the king's guardsmen, and we made our escape.

One day, at archery practice, Little John said, ...

Beckdawrek 07-04-2018 03:59 AM

Where's Robin Hood and Friar Tuck?



Back in Sherwood forest.....

Spoons 07-04-2018 04:02 AM

... Friar Tuck got into the wine--again.

Robin solved the problem by ...

Beckdawrek 07-04-2018 04:22 AM

putting the Friar in AA.


Maid Marion was very_________.

Aquadementia 07-04-2018 05:17 AM

... unfair, by always taking Robin's side.

The Sheriff pointed a dagger at Marion and threatened...

Spoons 07-04-2018 05:42 AM

... to cut her hair.

Maid Marian responded by saying ...

Elendil's Heir 07-04-2018 10:24 AM

"You're not my stylist, darling, and I have no respect for your technique, so back off!"

Visits to Sherwood Forest inevitably ___________________

gkster 07-04-2018 12:25 PM

end in drunkenness, theft, fighting, or fleeing from the Sheriff of Nottingham.

Why anyone ever visits Sherwood Forest __________

snfaulkner 07-04-2018 05:12 PM

...when they can just watch Kevin Costner in Robin Hood over and over is beyond me.

A journey to the beyond...

Alpha Twit 07-04-2018 05:20 PM

sounds like too much work.

A journey to the buffet....

Spoons 07-04-2018 07:14 PM

... would be nice, since I don't feel like cooking tonight.

When hiking in the woods, it is important to ...

Elendil's Heir 07-04-2018 08:10 PM

avoid taunting bears; they really don't like that.

Taunting bears will almost certainly get you _____________

snfaulkner 07-04-2018 08:19 PM

...the secret green gem you need to cross through the portal on level 7.

Level 7 is a bitch because...

Patx2 07-04-2018 08:22 PM

there are bears taunting you at every turn.

If you accidentally drop the green gem...

Aquadementia 07-04-2018 09:21 PM

... put the game on pause while your gem insurance claim is processed in the next three to eight weeks.

In the mean time you can amuse yourself with a ball and stick by...

Beckdawrek 07-04-2018 09:48 PM

Playing the game fairly.




After I get a homerun_________.

snfaulkner 07-04-2018 10:00 PM

...I am arrested for lewd acts.

An inside the park homerun is slang for...

Spoons 07-05-2018 12:25 AM

... something you'd never say in front of Grandmother.

Potato chips are a great snack, but ...

Beckdawrek 07-05-2018 12:28 AM

too salty.


The salty old sailor__________.

Thin Ice 07-05-2018 07:46 AM

walked up to an old mate at the bar and said, "Long time no sea."

The last time I shipped out ___________

Cardigan 07-05-2018 07:56 AM

...I got thrown in the brig for lewd acts.


I wish I was in the land of cotton.....

Knowed Out 07-05-2018 08:13 AM

because the lands of rayon and polyester are no longer in fashion.

For Independence Day, I shot off a...

Elendil's Heir 07-05-2018 10:04 AM

harshly-worded letter to the White House.

I don't why I even bother writing those anymore; ______________________________

snfaulkner 07-05-2018 06:46 PM

I never learned to write and the president never learned to read.

At the time of his death...

Elendil's Heir 07-05-2018 08:50 PM

my great-grandfather Jacob was so old that he farted dust.

On the other hand, my great-grandmother Eunice _______________

snfaulkner 07-05-2018 09:00 PM

...died of dysentery on the Oregon trail.

The bodies were found...

Beckdawrek 07-05-2018 10:37 PM

Half eaten, they were a party of Donners you know.



When I prepared dinner________.

snfaulkner 07-05-2018 10:51 PM

nobody ate the splayed hobo scrotums.

Step number 7 is to...

boson 07-06-2018 01:09 AM

…is to try to hide the shock on your face.

When I stutter though an explanation…

snfaulkner 07-06-2018 01:20 AM

...it means The Voices are loudest in my head.

If you inject a t-rex egg full of crack...

Beckdawrek 07-06-2018 01:26 AM

You fly to heaven (or hell).


In my afterlife I discovered_________.

Spoons 07-06-2018 01:59 AM

... that it was a lot different than Sunday school had led me to believe.

While driving home from work today, I saw ...

Beckdawrek 07-06-2018 02:20 AM

A hitchhiker from way down south, with a sign saying: "can y'all give a gal a ride?"



When I got in the car_____________.

Ambivalid 07-06-2018 02:20 AM

A man kiss another man.


Don't you eat that yellow______.



ETA: Dammmit. AGAIN Beck! :)

Beckdawrek 07-06-2018 02:26 AM

Flower.


Sorry, Ambivalid, I am as quick as a_____.

Spoons 07-06-2018 03:12 AM

... race car with a nitro boost.

Speaking of racing, I once saw a racehorse ...

Cardigan 07-06-2018 08:06 AM

....take his sweet time peeing.


I always bet on the horse that......

Knowed Out 07-06-2018 09:38 AM

is the least hung. Less air resistance.

A horse is a horse of course unless...

Patx2 07-06-2018 11:31 AM

itís not.

The last time I had pizza...

Beckdawrek 07-06-2018 04:49 PM

Was in a Mexican eatery.



On the pizza was___________.

Elendil's Heir 07-06-2018 07:17 PM

a bunch of red peppers, some ground beef and about thirty miniature sombreros made of shredded cheese.

It wasn't what we'd ordered, so of course we told the waiter _______________

Ambivalid 07-06-2018 07:22 PM

We hoped he died a slow, torturous death.

Online nudes of Hillary Clinton have been______.

Patx2 07-06-2018 08:20 PM

causing seizures and having other severe ill effects on the viewing public.

Last night I dreamt...

Beckdawrek 07-06-2018 08:37 PM

I was Hillary and came out of my pantsuit at a cabinet meeting.



At the cabinet meeting___________.

snfaulkner 07-06-2018 09:02 PM

...they all reviewed videos of karl Rove performing lewd acts.

When the pirates boarded...

Elendil's Heir 07-07-2018 12:55 AM

, they immediately declared nude Hillary pics a crime against Web-based humanity - and quite properly, too.

I tell ya, it's a crime the way some people _________________

Beckdawrek 07-07-2018 01:17 AM

Perform lewd acts.



The room was full of________.

Ambivalid 07-07-2018 02:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beckdawrek (Post 21069262)
Perform lewd acts.



The room was full of________.

Dawn donuts and debauchery.

These pretzels are making me______.

Beckdawrek 07-07-2018 02:11 AM

Twisted and salty.


I like cheese on_________.

Knowed Out 07-07-2018 09:51 AM

marshmallows.

There's so much potato salad left over from the holiday, I'm going to...

RivkahChaya 07-07-2018 10:11 AM

. . .start another holiday.

Crickets chirping in the wind. . .

Patx2 07-07-2018 11:30 AM

reminded me to put my pants on before I went outside.

Going outside without pants...

Alpha Twit 07-07-2018 12:13 PM

generally causes more problems than it solves.

My pant are too...

RivkahChaya 07-07-2018 02:15 PM

. . .slobbery.

I saw the best minds. . .

Beckdawrek 07-07-2018 04:07 PM

Act like idjets, taking off their pants and panting.


The movie I am watching___________.

Patx2 07-07-2018 04:55 PM

is not nearly as entertaining as this thread.

Spaghetti and meatballs...

Beckdawrek 07-07-2018 06:05 PM

Will ruin a white tee-shirt.


When I wear white____________.

Elendil's Heir 07-07-2018 11:36 PM

I feel compelled to get married again, but I usually get over it.

My cousin T.K. has been married five times; you'd think ____________

Alpha Twit 07-07-2018 11:44 PM

he'd skip the costly and time wasting divorce settlement and just burn half his stuff every few years.

When I asked Jenny to marry me, she said.....

snfaulkner 07-08-2018 01:16 AM

"I have Ebola "

While oozing her liquified organs through her pores...

Beckdawrek 07-08-2018 02:32 AM

I sprayed air freshener.



While cleaning a closet _________.

Spoons 07-08-2018 02:38 AM

... I found a book that my ex-wife borrowed from the public library that was seven years overdue.

While cooking dinner tonight, ______

snfaulkner 07-08-2018 02:48 AM

...I burnt the drifter's pancreas.

For 2 bucks, I would...

Beckdawrek 07-08-2018 03:01 AM

Write you a poem. Not a good poem, but still...


I went a beat-nik coffee house and_______.

snfaulkner 07-08-2018 03:11 AM

...asked for directions to the nearest bar.


AnŠl nathrach,
orth’ bhŠis’s bethad,

Spoons 07-08-2018 03:34 AM

... And that's what I said in an Irish pub, after imbibing far too many pints.

As a result ...

Beckdawrek 07-08-2018 03:38 AM

I followed a Leprechaun to a pot o' gold!


I went shopping with gold and__________.

snfaulkner 07-08-2018 03:54 AM

Bought 3 magic beans.

When planted, the beans...

Elendil's Heir 07-08-2018 01:26 PM

sprouted really fast-growing stalks that poked me right in the eye. Now I'm gonna sue that magic-bean salesman for every penny he's got!

Magic-bean salesmen, as a rule, ___________

Beckdawrek 07-08-2018 01:41 PM

Are blind.


The salesman's seeing-eye dog_________.

Patx2 07-08-2018 03:28 PM

was a Shih Tzu wearing a bow tie and argyle socks.

In his brief case...

Spoons 07-08-2018 06:25 PM

... the Shih Tzu had an extra bow tie and an extra pair of argyle socks.

The salesman, on the other hand, was carrying ...

snfaulkner 07-08-2018 06:26 PM

...pamphlets describing the features of the toilet of the future he was selling.

Halfway through his pitch...

Beckdawrek 07-08-2018 06:37 PM

I needed to take a peepee, so I excused myself.

When I came back into the Parlor_________.

snfaulkner 07-08-2018 07:01 PM

...he was lying face down in a pool of his own blood next to a broken candlestick.

To solve the crime...

Spoons 07-08-2018 07:07 PM

... I invited all the famous detectives I could think of.

The only ones to take me up on my offer were ...

CairoCarol 07-08-2018 08:01 PM

...Hercule Poireaux and Data, dressed up as Sherlock Holmes for hijinks in the holodeck.

When I saw just what kind of "hijinks" Data was up to, I...

Beckdawrek 07-08-2018 08:05 PM

Left the scene rather quickly.



Dr. Watson met me running out the door and said________.

Patx2 07-08-2018 08:11 PM

Iím positively certain, Mrs. Peacock had something to do with this.

When we get the results of the lab work...

Spoons 07-08-2018 11:08 PM

... we will know for sure whether it was Mrs. Peacock or Professor Plum.

Still wondering, though, about the murder weapon, which ...

Beckdawrek 07-08-2018 11:15 PM

I thought was the letter opener I found under the chair.



When I went to retrieve it, I found_________.

Elendil's Heir 07-09-2018 12:18 PM

Judge Crater's business card, Amelia Earhart's last flight plan and a photo of a Yeti holding yesterday's issue of The New York Times.

Every time I read The New York Times, _____________________

Cardigan 07-09-2018 12:28 PM

....I think to myself that one of these days I'll have to read something in it other than the comics and crossword puzzle.

The movie Uncle Drew is to motion picture history as.....

Alpha Twit 07-09-2018 12:40 PM

retrophrenology is to medicine.

I'm told that all the spicy food I've been eating has caused my.....

Heffalump and Roo 07-09-2018 01:18 PM

. . . nose to become runny.

Tonight, I'm looking forward to my favorite dinner of __________.

Elendil's Heir 07-09-2018 02:09 PM

plomeek soup, grilled Lombardy Pudding Elk cutlets and mashed smackles.

If you recognize all three of those references, __________________________

snfaulkner 07-09-2018 05:37 PM

...then your name is probably Orson Bean.

There once was a man from Nantucket...

Beckdawrek 07-09-2018 05:48 PM

He kept his golf balls in a bucket.



Meanwhile, back at the golf course ________.

Knowed Out 07-09-2018 06:18 PM

the caddy told the ball washer to suck it.

The ball washer replied ...

Alpha Twit 07-09-2018 11:11 PM

"Three for a dollar. Same price as downtown."

An no point do I want to....

Beckdawrek 07-09-2018 11:23 PM

Go downtown.


All the way uptown there are__________.

snfaulkner 07-09-2018 11:34 PM

Crocodile infested pools with vines to swing over them.

The treasure you seek...

Spoons 07-10-2018 01:50 AM

... is not something I can help you with.

I can, however, help you with ...

CairoCarol 07-10-2018 02:09 AM

... that embarrassing itch you are reluctant to talk about.

As for me, the last time an itch embarrassed me I solved the problem by ...

Beckdawrek 07-10-2018 02:21 AM

Rolling in sand.


The Doctor told me________.

snfaulkner 07-10-2018 02:25 AM

...from within a biohazard suit "you'll be just fine. Wait here for just a moment " and then nervously left.

Five minutes later...

Spoons 07-10-2018 02:55 AM

... I left too, and went to the hospital cafeteria for coffee and a sandwich.

Nobody dropped dead, but a few people ...

snfaulkner 07-10-2018 03:14 AM

...'s faces rotted off as they fled in panic.

The cafeteria potato salad...

Elendil's Heir 07-10-2018 11:07 AM

made even the inexorably deadly pandemic all around me worthwhile. It must be the paprika.

My mom's potato salad, on the other hand, ____________________

Alpha Twit 07-10-2018 11:10 AM

must be what evil tastes like.

The only acceptable way to cook potatoes is....

Heffalump and Roo 07-10-2018 11:10 AM

. . . baking them.

The best book I've ever read was __________________

Beckdawrek 07-10-2018 11:24 AM

'The Joy of cooking.'



My favorite chapter is 'Pies', in it I found_______.

Patx2 07-10-2018 11:26 AM

written by Dr. Seuss.

I like to read about...

Alpha Twit 07-10-2018 03:07 PM

pirates in love.

I've often dreamed of sailing....

snfaulkner 07-10-2018 08:30 PM

...in a sea of cheese.

I arrived at the river styx...

Beckdawrek 07-10-2018 08:58 PM

With a bag of pretzels.



It turned into a real_________.

CairoCarol 07-11-2018 12:01 AM

...pretzel styx orgy!

One of the things I learned is that pretel styx (or sticks) are useful for...

boson 07-11-2018 01:42 AM

…nostril appendages during congressional hearings.

I also use pretzel sticks ….

snfaulkner 07-11-2018 01:54 AM

...in black magic blood rituals for salt replacement.

After extracting the still-beating heart...

Spoons 07-11-2018 02:16 AM

... I passed it around so every member of the medical school class could have a close look.

While holding it, one student said, ...

Elendil's Heir 07-11-2018 09:41 AM

"This looks just like my Great Aunt Edna's!"

When he cackled maniacally, _____________________

boson 07-11-2018 12:39 PM

…Great Aunt Edna woke up in the operating room.

She screamed to her nephew,”…

Heffalump and Roo 07-11-2018 01:06 PM

. . . I just saw Heaven. Get me a pen!


She started to write ________________

Typo Negative 07-11-2018 02:22 PM

...a suicide note.

But when I _____

Cardigan 07-11-2018 03:08 PM

...explained to her that heaven had very limited seating and that she'd failed to call ahead for reservations, Aunt Edna grew furious.

"Now look here, sonny boy ___________

RivkahChaya 07-11-2018 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cardigan (Post 21078780)

"Now look here, sonny boy ___________

________ When there are grey skies,
I don't mind the grey skies,
You make them blue, Sonny Boy!"


"If it's Tuesday. . .

snfaulkner 07-11-2018 07:07 PM

...you get cheap tacos.

On Wednesday...

Beckdawrek 07-11-2018 07:13 PM

It's ham for hump day. Yum.




After slicing the ham I had__________.

Patx2 07-11-2018 07:19 PM

a craving for some pineapple.

After slicing the pineapple...

CharmaChameleon 07-11-2018 10:55 PM

I just stare at it and wonder on the complexity.

But when it's all peeled and crushed...

Beckdawrek 07-11-2018 11:13 PM

I realize the error of my ways. Pineapples have feelings too.



So, I run to join the________.

snfaulkner 07-11-2018 11:22 PM

...French foreign legion.

Soon I was deployed to the nuclear test site...

CairoCarol 07-11-2018 11:35 PM

...where I lovingly caressed the Big Red Button until I came to my senses, and ran away with hot tears of shame running down my cheeks.

In the desert where I found myself bereft of companionship, not to mention food or water, I...

Alpha Twit 07-12-2018 12:02 AM

pondered the futility of life without purpose.

As I brought the axe down again and again, fear giving way to hate and then finally to...

Elendil's Heir 07-12-2018 12:32 AM

a realization that I now had plenty of firewood for the cold, cold winter that my friend the invisible stoat told me we should expect.

Invisible stoats aren't always the best meteorologists, but _____________

Beckdawrek 07-12-2018 12:40 AM

To be safe I believed. Really. I promise.


At the risk of sounding disingenuous, I further added_____.

Mr Zox 07-12-2018 01:41 AM

2 and 2, and got 547.

However, when dividing, I always _______

Spoons 07-12-2018 01:58 AM

... have to put myself in the mindset of a single-celled organism at reproduction time.

It's a little uncomfortable, but the good news is ...

Regallag_The_Axe 07-12-2018 02:07 AM

...I save a lot of money on condoms.

I use the extra cash...

Beckdawrek 07-12-2018 02:37 AM

For other lewd and lascivious fun things.



It get me in trouble everytime I_______.

Alpha Twit 07-12-2018 07:24 AM

listen to Beckdawrek.

The voices in my head say I should listen....

Patx2 07-12-2018 10:39 AM

to the silence where the invisible stoats roam.

Since I left the ham and pineplle behind...

Cardigan 07-12-2018 11:03 AM

....I knew there were no suitable ingredients for a pizza to be had.


If only I had some nice cooked rabbit to put on this pizza, then...

Typo Negative 07-12-2018 02:54 PM

...I could feed it to unsuspecting guests.

I never knew why I could never.....

Elendil's Heir 07-12-2018 04:18 PM

find any unsuspecting guests, though; all of mine were 'way too suspecting.

The police generally frown at kidnapping people for your dinner parties; I should know, because ______________________

Beckdawrek 07-12-2018 04:28 PM

I was once a victim of circumstance.


In that case, we should_______.

CharmaChameleon 07-12-2018 04:38 PM

...relax and watch what happens.

On, it's just one more ....

Elendil's Heir 07-12-2018 04:47 PM

two-letter word I've sworn never to use except in Urdu. Or Sanskrit, if you ask me nicely.

As I painting toy stoats with Billy Idol last week, he said (in Urdu, oddly enough), _________________________

Beckdawrek 07-12-2018 05:58 PM

Don't take it so seriously.


As I tend to be uptight, I have never_________.

snfaulkner 07-12-2018 06:45 PM

...jammed a red hot poker up my ass.

Life in the fast lane....

Patx2 07-12-2018 08:05 PM

is very challenging when bowling, it surely makes you lose your mind.

Once I got a turkey...

Beckdawrek 07-12-2018 08:24 PM

That gobbled up my score.


So, I quit bowling and started_______.


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