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-   -   TV Western characters who were dicks. (https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=881659)

carnivorousplant 09-07-2019 08:51 PM

TV Western characters who were dicks.
 
Paladin, Have Gun Will Travel. Hired at exorbitant rates to solve problems, he solved them to his own opinion, not that if the guy who hired him.

Gil Favor, Rawhide. Worse than a dick, he would become an asshole at the drop of a hat. Withholding information from his employees, and insisting they work harder without explanation, like a bank failure that would make their cattle worthless after some time.

What other cowboys were dicks?

RealityChuck 09-08-2019 10:46 AM

Everyone Jason McCord met in Branded. It seemed like the Old West was populated by people who lost someone at the Battle of Bitter Creek.

Why McCord didn't just change his name was never explained.

Guest-starring: Id! 09-08-2019 12:58 PM

Yul Brynner in Westworld?

kaylasdad99 09-08-2019 01:02 PM

The Lone Ranger was always sending Tonto into town, even though he knew they were going to beat him up...

Superdude 09-08-2019 02:03 PM

Walt Longmire has very dickish moments in "Longmire."

You didn't say they had to be from the Wild West era.

carnivorousplant 09-08-2019 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaylasdad99 (Post 21848056)
The Lone Ranger was always sending Tonto into town, even though he knew they were going to beat him up...

"You go to hell, Lone Ranger!"

Beckdawrek 09-08-2019 02:28 PM

Cap'n Call in Lonesome Dove was a serious asshole.

mbh 09-08-2019 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnivorousplant (Post 21848147)
"You go to hell, Lone Ranger!"

"Doctor say, you going to die, Kemo Sabe."

Prof. Pepperwinkle 09-08-2019 03:32 PM

nm

aceplace57 09-08-2019 03:39 PM

Nick Barkley is cast as a typical wealthy rancher that was capable of taking advantage of smaller neighbors. This type of character appears in many 1950's movies like Shane.

Fortunately Nick's impulsive hotheaded nature is balanced by brothers Heath and Jarrod and his mother.

nelliebly 09-08-2019 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beckdawrek (Post 21848162)
Cap'n Call in Lonesome Dove was a serious asshole.

Really? I didn't watch the miniseries, but understanding Call required getting inside his head, which a TV miniseries couldn't do. (It also helps to read the other books in the series, particularly Dead Man's Walk, which covers Call's and McCrae's youth.) In Call, McMurtry takes the archetype of the cool and laconic cowboy and turns it inside out. His silence isn't a strength. Call is a man hamstrung by his inability to understand emotions in himself or other people, and his silence isn't a strength, as it's often portrayed in westerns. He suffers for it. He's actually a tragic character.

Loach 09-08-2019 06:33 PM

I Rustler’s Rhapsody Patrick Wayne’s character Bob Barber is supposed to be a good guy but he was actually a lawyer.

Loach 09-08-2019 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loach (Post 21848564)
I Rustler’s Rhapsody Patrick Wayne’s character Bob Barber is supposed to be a good guy but he was actually a lawyer.

Oops sorry you said tv.

Beckdawrek 09-08-2019 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nelliebly (Post 21848535)
Really? I didn't watch the miniseries, but understanding Call required getting inside his head, which a TV miniseries couldn't do. (It also helps to read the other books in the series, particularly Dead Man's Walk, which covers Call's and McCrae's youth.) In Call, McMurtry takes the archetype of the cool and laconic cowboy and turns it inside out. His silence isn't a strength. Call is a man hamstrung by his inability to understand emotions in himself or other people, and his silence isn't a strength, as it's often portrayed in westerns. He suffers for it. He's actually a tragic character.

I read the books. He's tragic, for sure. He takes way too long to acknowledge his son.
I get his need to be a strong leader but hanging his friend is really a dick move. But, maybe that's just me.

Kent Clark 09-08-2019 08:10 PM

Ben Cartwright must have terrorized everyone in Nevada Territory. Adam, and later Hoss, simply disappeared and no one, not even Little Joe, ever questioned it.

terentii 09-08-2019 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaylasdad99 (Post 21848056)
The Lone Ranger was always sending Tonto into town, even though he knew they were going to beat him up...

"Tonto have better idea. Tonto stay here, set up camp. Kemo Sabe go into town, buy supplies."

terentii 09-08-2019 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kent Clark (Post 21848712)
Ben Cartwright must have terrorized everyone in Nevada Territory. Adam, and later Hoss, simply disappeared and no one, not even Little Joe, ever questioned it.

The man was married three times, and apparently no one ever thought this was suspicious.

"Well, you see, Your Honor, my first wife died from eating poison mushrooms. My second wife died from eating poison mushrooms. My third wife died from a crushed skull. She wouldn't eat her mushrooms...."

terentii 09-08-2019 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RealityChuck (Post 21847901)
Everyone Jason McCord met in Branded. It seemed like the Old West was populated by people who lost someone at the Battle of Bitter Creek.

Why McCord didn't just change his name was never explained.

He was once kicked by a mare when she found out who he was. Turned out she'd lost a colt at Bitter Creek.

He also could have just grown a beard to hide his identity, but he didn't want to cover his rugged dimpled chin.

terentii 09-08-2019 08:33 PM

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are surrounded by a marauding band of Indians:

"Well, Tonto, this is it. Looks like we die together."

"Ugnnn, what you mean 'we,' white man?"

running coach 09-08-2019 08:36 PM

The Lone Ranger makes an unpleasant discovery

carnivorousplant 09-08-2019 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kent Clark (Post 21848712)
Ben Cartwright must have terrorized everyone in Nevada Territory. Adam, and later Hoss, simply disappeared and no one, not even Little Joe, ever questioned it.

Adam went to college in England-the actor was pissed off that the TV show made no political comment. Dan Blocker died of a heart attack. There was a Father Son conversation with Ben and Little Joe on the shore of Lake Tahoe. "I guess that big heart finally gave out."

carnivorousplant 09-08-2019 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by terentii (Post 21848750)
He was once kicked by a mare when she found out who he was. Turned out she'd lost a colt at Bitter Creek.

He also could have just grown a beard to hide his identity, but he didn't want to cover his rugged dimpled chin.

He carried around that damn broken sword!
"Why the hell are you carrying around a broken sword?"
"I was dishonorably discharged from the US Army."
"Well, fuck you!"

carnivorousplant 09-08-2019 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by terentii (Post 21848742)
The man was married three times, and apparently no one ever thought this was suspicious.

"Well, you see, Your Honor, my first wife died from eating poison mushrooms. My second wife died from eating poison mushrooms. My third wife died from a crushed skull. She wouldn't eat her mushrooms...."

Outstanding, Sir!
Out fucking standing!

This forum requires that you wait 60 seconds between posts. Please try again in 1 seconds.

terentii 09-08-2019 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnivorousplant (Post 21848799)
He carried around that damn broken sword!
"Why the hell are you carrying around a broken sword?"
"I was dishonorably discharged from the US Army."
"Well, fuck you!"

Oh, what a giveaway! :smack:

Just Asking Questions 09-08-2019 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RealityChuck (Post 21847901)
Why McCord didn't just change his name was never explained.

Because there wouldn't be a TV show if he did. Hmmm, I sense a fundamental problem with the series premise.

Same question (and answer) applies to what the Boy Named Sue didn't just change his name. Aside from a bad name, his daddy left him with a shortage of brains, too.

cochrane 09-08-2019 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by terentii (Post 21848754)
The Lone Ranger and Tonto are surrounded by a marauding band of Indians:

"Well, Tonto, this is it. Looks like we die together."

"Ugnnn, what you mean 'we,' white man?"

1989 Weetabix advert.

Colibri 09-09-2019 12:15 AM

Probably more than half the characters on Deadwood were dicks, and even most of the "good guys" could be pretty unpleasant.

nelliebly 09-09-2019 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beckdawrek (Post 21848649)
I read the books. He's tragic, for sure. He takes way too long to acknowledge his son.
I get his need to be a strong leader but hanging his friend is really a dick move. But, maybe that's just me.

I respect your judgment, and I'll admit I doubt I could have done the same, but Jake was a friend of their youth who'd made many wrong turns since their Ranger days.

•He hit Laurie.
•He went off gambling, leaving Laurie unprotected, though he knew Blue Duck was in the area.
• When Blue Duck kidnapped Laurie, Jake didn't go after her.
• He took up with the most brutal of outlaws. True, he was once again trying to escape punishment for the unlucky shot that killed a man, but he stuck with the Suggs brothers even after they'd murdered and burned several people. Jake was always a weak. self-centered man who did what was easiest for Jake. (When McCrae tells him they got Laurie back from Blue Duck, Jake can't even recall who she is.) Call said Jake had crossed a line, and he had, but riding with the Suggs brothers was only the last line.

Call doesn't order the hangings alone. Nor does he do it coldly. It's Gus who says, "Ride with an outlaw, die with him. I admit it's a harsh code. But you rode on the other side long enough to know how it works."

It's Call you says, "I'm sorry it's us, Jake--I wish it had fallen to someone else."

Sorry to go on at such length, and I didn't mean to jack the thread. McMurtry has been one of my favorite writers since I was 17. It says a lot that the scene is sympathetic to Gus, to Call, to Newt, and to Jake, who's crossed a line he didn't even recognize.

Damn, that's a good book.

kirkrapine 09-09-2019 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mbh (Post 21848268)
"Doctor say, you going to die, Kemo Sabe."

[after the Indians bring in a large force of white naked women] "Dammit, Tonto, I told you to bring a posse! A posse!"

terentii 09-09-2019 07:30 AM

"Kemo Sabe, tribe say you wear that mask 'cause you ashamed of our relationship."

Smid 09-09-2019 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RealityChuck (Post 21847901)
Everyone Jason McCord met in Branded. It seemed like the Old West was populated by people who lost someone at the Battle of Bitter Creek.

Why McCord didn't just change his name was never explained.

Over Macho Grande?

No, I don't think I'll ever get over Macho Grande.

carnivorousplant 09-09-2019 09:24 AM

Tonto, not realizing that the Lone Ranger had disguised himself as a pool table...

terentii 09-09-2019 10:19 AM

The Lone Ranger, coming on to a showgirl after a few drinks: "I'm lonely, ma'am. Really lonely." :(

Annie-Xmas 09-09-2019 10:39 AM

Too bad nobody turned Brokeback Mountain into a mini-series. That was a tale about a couple of dicks.

Little Joe Cartwright also had a wife who was killed by some gang members that broke into their cabin, terrorized her, and set the cabin on fire after killing her.

No wonder those Cartwright men couldn't get wives. I've also thought Adam started using his mother's birth name of McIntyre, and fathered a line that lead to Trapper John MD. It does explain the remarkable resemblance to the two. Don't they look like the same person?

terentii 09-09-2019 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas (Post 21849593)
Little Joe Cartwright also had a wife who was killed by some gang members that broke into their cabin, terrorized her, and set the cabin on fire after killing her.

She wouldn't eat her mushrooms either.

cochrane 09-09-2019 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas (Post 21849593)
Too bad nobody turned Brokeback Mountain into a mini-series. That was a tale about a couple of dicks.

Little Joe Cartwright also had a wife who was killed by some gang members that broke into their cabin, terrorized her, and set the cabin on fire after killing her.

No wonder those Cartwright men couldn't get wives. I've also thought Adam started using his mother's birth name of McIntyre, and fathered a line that lead to Trapper John MD. It does explain the remarkable resemblance to the two. Don't they look like the same person?

Doesn't work. Adam's mother's name was Elizabeth Stoddard.

cochrane 09-09-2019 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnivorousplant (Post 21849459)
Tonto, not realizing that the Lone Ranger had disguised himself as a pool table...

...proceeds to rack his balls. :D

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the Lone Ranger, disguised as an outhouse seat, gets more ass than he can handle.

Annie-Xmas 09-09-2019 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cochrane (Post 21849620)
Doesn't work. Adam's mother's name was Elizabeth Stoddard.

Well. somewhere in her family tree there was a McIntyre!

burpo the wonder mutt 09-09-2019 11:03 AM

"Tonto, take the garbage to the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump."

terentii 09-09-2019 11:09 AM

When the Nevada authorities caught on to Little Joe, he went on the lam, changed his name, and headed for Minnesota.

terentii 09-09-2019 11:18 AM

Before hooking up with the Lone Ranger, Tonto had worked as an interior decorator:

"Hmmm.... Now we put bedrolls by cactus, campfire inside stones.... What that? You no like it? Ugnn, tough titties, Kemo!"

burpo the wonder mutt 09-09-2019 11:26 AM

"Tonto, I've been diagnosed with a cancer."

"You need Kemo-therapy, Sabe!"

Kent Clark 09-09-2019 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnivorousplant (Post 21848797)
Adam went to college in England-the actor was pissed off that the TV show made no political comment. Dan Blocker died of a heart attack. There was a Father Son conversation with Ben and Little Joe on the shore of Lake Tahoe. "I guess that big heart finally gave out."

That's what Ben TOLD everyone to believe. Notice how no one in Virginia City ever asked how Adam was doing "in college," or that Adam never sent a single letter home; nor did anyone ever made a single comment, much less express sympathy to Ben or Joe after Hoss died.

Ben had the entire Nevada Territory playing, It's a Good Life!

terentii 09-09-2019 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guest-starring: Id! (Post 21848051)
Yul Brynner in Westworld?

Henry Fonda in Once upon a Time in the West. Gunned down an entire family in cold blood and enjoyed every second of it. Doesn't get more dickish than that!

Whoops! Also not TV! :(

KneadToKnow 09-09-2019 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Superdude (Post 21848129)
Walt Longmire has very dickish moments in "Longmire."

You didn't say they had to be from the Wild West era.

Indeed. There's a line where taciturn becomes dickish, and Longmire built that beautiful cabin of his a quarter of a mile past it.

"What happened to your hand?"
"Hurt it."

Two Many Cats 09-09-2019 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kent Clark (Post 21849803)
That's what Ben TOLD everyone to believe. Notice how no one in Virginia City ever asked how Adam was doing "in college," or that Adam never sent a single letter home; nor did anyone ever made a single comment, much less express sympathy to Ben or Joe after Hoss died.

Ben had the entire Nevada Territory playing, It's a Good Life!

Doesn't it seem like Little Joe would have more of a motive to kill off Adam and Hoss?

If I were adopted son Jamie, I'd leave.

Rick Kitchen 09-09-2019 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cochrane (Post 21849620)
Doesn't work. Adam's mother's name was Elizabeth Stoddard.

Wasn't she in Dark Shadows?

carnivorousplant 09-09-2019 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rick Kitchen (Post 21850646)
Wasn't she in Dark Shadows?

A Witness Protection thing.
Any woman who marries a Cartwright dies. I wouldn't let my daughter date one. Hell, I wouldn't let her talk to one on the phone...er, telegraph.

zamboniracer 09-10-2019 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by terentii (Post 21848742)
The man was married three times, and apparently no one ever thought this was suspicious.

"Well, you see, Your Honor, my first wife died from eating poison mushrooms. My second wife died from eating poison mushrooms. My third wife died from a crushed skull. She wouldn't eat her mushrooms...."

Come to think of it, whatever happened to Hop Sing, the Cartrights' cook?

terentii 09-10-2019 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zamboniracer (Post 21852046)
Come to think of it, whatever happened to Hop Sing, the Cartrights' cook?

Rented out as a coolie when the Central Pacific railroad was under construction. All of his pay went directly to Ben for "safekeeping."


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