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-   -   "Tank for Tua" OR The 0-16 NFL Season Thread (2019 ed.) (https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=881872)

garygnu 09-11-2019 03:03 PM

"Tank for Tua" OR The 0-16 NFL Season Thread (2019 ed.)
 
Come one, come all, welcome to the thread where we celebrate the losingest losers in the NFL. Which team can match the epic ineptitude of the 1976 Buccaneers and 2008 Lions? Who will fire the coach and GM to, ultimately, no avail? Who will get their choice of QBs in an apparently loaded 2020 class? Will a team really dedicate themselves, snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, and go down down down in history with the infamous 0-16?

The Miami Dolphins really do seem like they're a solid candidate to go all the way, but we have lots of contenders. Here are the 15 team that lost Week 1, sorted by how much they lost by:
Miami Dolphins (-49)
Cleveland Browns (-30)
Pittsburgh Steelers (-30)
New York Giants (-18)
Atlanta Falcons (-16)
Jacksonville Jaguars (-14)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-14)
Denver Broncos (-8)
Chicago Bears (-7)
Indianapolis Colts (-6)
Washington Redskins (-5)
Carolina Panthers (-3)
Houston Texans (-2)
New York Jets (-1)
Cincinnati Bengals (-1)

The Detroit Lions and Arizona Cardinals tied, so conceivably could still go winless. Somehow "0-15-1" seems even worse.

Week 2 games that feature two winless teams:
Bucs at Panthers (Thurs Night)
Jaguars at Texans
Bears at Broncos
Browns at Jets (Mon Night)

This thread is for mocking bad teams, but discuss anything that relates, such as draft picks.

Omniscient 09-11-2019 05:09 PM

The 2017 Browns get a pass here?

garygnu 09-11-2019 05:37 PM

LoL, so forgettable. Oops, copy/paste mistake.

Chingon 09-11-2019 06:15 PM

Betting the franchise on an Alabama QB is risky business.

Atamasama 09-11-2019 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Omniscient (Post 21854879)
The 2017 Browns get a pass here?

They were awesome, not just 0-16 but 1-32. Historically bad.

ElvisL1ves 09-12-2019 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chingon (Post 21854987)
Betting the franchise on an Alabama QB is risky business.

Bart Starr, Joe Namath ... on the other hand, Richard Todd, AJ McCarron ...

Chingon 09-12-2019 08:11 AM

Believe it or not, 50 years ago things were different.

DCnDC 09-12-2019 08:17 AM

The Dolphins seem to be the only ones that are intentionally trying to lose.

Procrustus 09-12-2019 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DCnDC (Post 21855878)
The Dolphins seem to be the only ones that are intentionally trying to lose.

The Seahawks looked they tried, but failed.

ElvisL1ves 09-12-2019 10:54 AM

If you try to fail, and somehow succeed anyway, is that really failure? You've failed to fail.

enalzi 09-12-2019 10:59 AM

Jet's QB Sam Darnold is going to be out for at least a few weeks with Mono. It's going to be a race to the bottom in the AFCE.

ElvisL1ves 09-12-2019 11:01 AM

Belichick was willing to trade Demaryius Thomas to the Jets only because he doesn't think he has anything left.

FoieGrasIsEvil 09-12-2019 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Procrustus (Post 21856255)
The Seahawks looked they tried, but failed.

They were dominated in every facet of the game but the scoreboard. Happens.

kenobi 65 09-12-2019 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chingon (Post 21855865)
Believe it or not, 50 years ago things were different.

Yup. Here's a list from Wikipedia of Alabama's starting quarterbacks, in chronological order. The most recent guy to have had a significant NFL career as a starting QB was, in fact, Richard Todd (starter at Alabama from 1974-1975).

There are three Pro Football Hall of Fame quarterbacks who played at Alabama (Starr, Namath, and Stabler), but as you note, they were at Alabama 50-60 years ago.

Atamasama 09-12-2019 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Procrustus (Post 21856255)
The Seahawks looked they tried, but failed.

Thereís some truth to that. Giving up yards was intentional. I donít know what crazy strategy that they have but it works. In the Pete Carroll era, Seattle has given up more than 400 yards passing on only 6 occasions, and they are 6-0 in those games. They donít mind the repeated short yardage, itís the explosive plays they try to prevent. (And failed a couple of times to prevent last Sunday, which Iím sure wasnít in the plan.)

As I said, though, itís weird but it works. Pete basically says he doesnít care if you ďdink and dunkĒ on him, as long as you donít score.

The sacks and hits and other pressure on Wilson werenít intentional either, of course, but that OL is better than it performed and Iím sure theyíll get that fixed.

Procrustus 09-12-2019 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atamasama (Post 21856922)
Thereís some truth to that. Giving up yards was intentional. I donít know what crazy strategy that they have but it works. In the Pete Carroll era, Seattle has given up more than 400 yards passing on only 6 occasions, and they are 6-0 in those games. They donít mind the repeated short yardage, itís the explosive plays they try to prevent. (And failed a couple of times to prevent last Sunday, which Iím sure wasnít in the plan.)

As I said, though, itís weird but it works. Pete basically says he doesnít care if you ďdink and dunkĒ on him, as long as you donít score.

The sacks and hits and other pressure on Wilson werenít intentional either, of course, but that OL is better than it performed and Iím sure theyíll get that fixed.

I agree. We were at the game. It was ugly. But I still have hope for a good season.

(of course, I also thought the Mariners would get 81 wins this year)

Atamasama 09-12-2019 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Procrustus (Post 21856952)
(of course, I also thought the Mariners would get 81 wins this year)

They just got all the wins out of the way early so that they didnít need to worry later in the season.

FoieGrasIsEvil 09-12-2019 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atamasama (Post 21856922)

As I said, though, itís weird but it works. Pete basically says he doesnít care if you ďdink and dunkĒ on him, as long as you donít score.

The sacks and hits and other pressure on Wilson werenít intentional either, of course, but that OL is better than it performed and Iím sure theyíll get that fixed.

The bolded works until you play the Patriots. And those pressures and hits/sacks are a result of a rejuvenated Bengals defensive line that has a LOT of talent on it. Most around the league aren't noticing, but if the Bengals beat Jimmy Garrapolo in convincing fashion, it's going to be because of that line.

The entire team is playing better. Mediocre Marv was the head cheese for SIXTEEN years. Let that marinate.

I'm telling you, don't sleep on them. Seriously.

Atamasama 09-13-2019 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FoieGrasIsEvil (Post 21857638)
The bolded works until you play the Patriots. And those pressures and hits/sacks are a result of a rejuvenated Bengals defensive line that has a LOT of talent on it. Most around the league aren't noticing, but if the Bengals beat Jimmy Garrapolo in convincing fashion, it's going to be because of that line.

The entire team is playing better. Mediocre Marv was the head cheese for SIXTEEN years. Let that marinate.

I'm telling you, don't sleep on them. Seriously.

If nothing else that Bengals pass rush is terrifying. Theyíre crazy good. They kept demonstrating during replays how they were off at full speed at the moment the ball is snapped. That is hard to block. I think Cincinnati might be a contender this year. Yeah itís only week 1 but they are good.

And John Ross... Being from the Seattle area, I saw a lot of him as a Husky and I thought heíd be a star in the NFL. His rookie year was a dud but it seems like heís figuring out how to make his speed work in the pros like he did in college. If he can get his catching skills to improve he will be a huge asset, especially once A.J. Green is back.

Atamasama 09-13-2019 12:44 AM

Oh, I’ll add, the Panthers are winning!

The list, I mean. Only the OP’s list.

Isosleepy 09-13-2019 02:28 PM

The fact that not even half the NFL teams managed to get a win is a sad state of affairs. As to the op question: while I don’t think the Bengals will go 0-16, they will come close, and hasten their move to become London’s NFL team.

DinoR 09-15-2019 05:23 PM

...and the Lions continue their undefeated ways through two games. This time they even removed the prospect of still being winless at season's end. They are even number two in their division regardless of what happens with the Bears.

I know the reality. Don't mess with the fantasy. :D This year we get into the playoffs and manage our second playoff win in the Super Bowl era. I can feel it. We're gonna party like it's 1991. Break out the Barry Sanders jerseys!

Again, don't mess with the fantasy. The Lions can take care of crushing their fan dreams without help.

Atamasama 09-15-2019 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isosleepy (Post 21858888)
The fact that not even half the NFL teams managed to get a win is a sad state of affairs. As to the op question: while I donít think the Bengals will go 0-16, they will come close, and hasten their move to become Londonís NFL team.

Looked at another way, most teams didnít lose! Way to go teams!

What Exit? 09-15-2019 07:01 PM

Giants in theory don't even need Tua, if they keep this up how much can they get for the #1 pick?

garygnu 09-16-2019 09:14 PM

They'll win, but it looks like the Browns want to stay in this race.

cmkeller 09-17-2019 08:04 AM

ElvisL1ves:

Quote:

Belichick was willing to trade Demaryius Thomas to the Jets only because he doesn't think he has anything left.
Well, if he learned anything from his time with Belichick, he'll just resign as QB of the NYJ.

garygnu 09-17-2019 11:30 AM

Week Two Aftermath
 
Six of the 0-1 teams won their second game. The 0-0-1 Lions won as well.
Cleveland Browns
Atlanta Falcons
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Chicago Bears
Indianapolis Colts
Houston Texans
Detroit Lions

Here are our nine remaining awkward aspirants, sorted by average margin of loss, and their next opponent:
Miami Dolphins (-46.0) at Cowboys (2-0, +14.0)
Pittsburgh Steelers (-16.0) at 49ers (2-0, +19.0)
New York Giants (-16.0) at Buccaneers (1-1, -4.0)
Cincinnati Bengals (-12.5) at Bills (2-0, +7.5)
New York Jets (-10.5) at Patriots (2-0, +36.5)
Washington Redskins (-7.5) host Bears (1-1, -2.5) Mon Night
Jacksonville Jaguars (-7.5) host Titans (1-1, +14.0) Thurs Night
Denver Broncos (-5) at Packers (2-0, +6.0)
Carolina Panthers (-4.5) at Cardinals (0-1-1, -3.0)

Winless:
Arizona Cardinals (-3.0) host Panthers (0-2, -4.5)

None of the remaining teams looked anything other than pathetic, apart from the Broncos. They're not good, but got a little jobbed at the end of their last game. Looking ahead, it's not good. Most of these teams are on the road next week, five on the road against 2-0 teams. The Patriots and Cowboys are both favored by more than 20 points. I think they'll both cover. The only matchup of winless teams is Panthers at Cardinals. Giants at Bucs might be good, featuring the debut of QB Daniel Jones. Jags at Titans could be entertaining on short rest Thursday. Perhaps there will be more shouting matches or temper tantrums on the sidelines; perhaps some divisional fighting. Otherwise, I see most of these dolt teams next week, still here with the goose egg in the win column.

kenobi 65 09-17-2019 12:06 PM

It's interesting to note that, out of the still-winless, three of them will be starting a different quarterback this week than they started in Week 1: Pittsburgh, Jacksonville, and both New York teams. And, a fifth (Miami) has sent in their second-stringer in both games so far.

enalzi 09-17-2019 12:08 PM

Jets and Dolphins are just sad. Has the #1 and #2 stop in the draft ever gone to teams from the same division?

enalzi 09-17-2019 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kenobi 65 (Post 21865938)
It's interesting to note that, out of the still-winless, three of them will be starting a different quarterback this week than they started in Week 1: Pittsburgh, Jacksonville, and both New York teams. And, a fifth (Miami) has sent in their second-stringer in both games so far.

Sounds like Cam's going to be out too.

kenobi 65 09-17-2019 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by enalzi (Post 21865968)
Sounds like Cam's going to be out too.

If so, then, that's five, only one of which (the Giants) made the switch willingly.

Atamasama 09-17-2019 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by enalzi (Post 21865943)
Jets and Dolphins are just sad. Has the #1 and #2 stop in the draft ever gone to teams from the same division?

Uh, that just happened in the most recent draft. Cardinals had the first pick, the 49ers had the second.

What Exit? 09-17-2019 01:08 PM

They just bench Eli Manning today.
The Daniel Jones experiment begins.

Sailboat 09-17-2019 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by garygnu (Post 21854638)
Which team can match the epic ineptitude of the 1976 Buccaneers.

Hugh Culverhouse, the inaugural owner of the Tampa Bay franchise, refused to pay my father for some freelance publishing work. My father, an old-school and sarcastic character, swore he actually paid an old Gypsy woman to put a curse on Culverhouse and the team (almost certainly in jest).

It was a source of great personal satisfaction to him as Tampa Bay built the Buccaneers' NFL-record streak of fourteen consecutive losing seasons.

enalzi 09-17-2019 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atamasama (Post 21866024)
Uh, that just happened in the most recent draft. Cardinals had the first pick, the 49ers had the second.

:smack: Well, has it ever happened two years in a row?

FlikTheBlue 09-19-2019 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by enalzi (Post 21865943)
Jets and Dolphins are just sad. Has the #1 and #2 stop in the draft ever gone to teams from the same division?

It wouldnít surprise me if both of them suck so bad that they fail to pull off 0-16 by beating each other. I see both teams finishing 1-15.

Intergalactic Gladiator 09-19-2019 09:37 AM

Could be 0-15-1, which would be amazing.

I would like to see Miami go 0 and 16 just for being a piece of history and the only team to go completely undefeated and completely winless.

Intergalactic Gladiator 09-19-2019 09:42 AM

Whoops, make that 0-14-2 because they play each other twice. Duh.

Oakminster 09-19-2019 09:57 AM

Sadly, my Saints are contenders. We won the first game, but probably won't win another unless/until Brees comes back, at which point we'll already be all but eliminated from playoff contention anyway....

Intergalactic Gladiator 09-19-2019 10:19 AM

Yes but that just might mean we get more Taysom Hill action. For a number 3 quarterback, he's not a bad wide receiver/punt returner/punt rusher/punt coverage guy.

enalzi 09-19-2019 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oakminster (Post 21869884)
Sadly, my Saints are contenders. We won the first game, but probably won't win another unless/until Brees comes back, at which point we'll already be all but eliminated from playoff contention anyway....

Eh, you play the Jags during the stretch. And I really don't see Brees sitting out the second half of the season if he's healthy, regardless of playoff odds.

DCnDC 09-19-2019 11:19 AM

They probably deserve to, but Washington isn't going to go 0-16. Five of their remaining 14 games are against teams still on the Week 2 list (Giants, Miami, Jets, Panthers, Giants). They'll win at least a couple of those, and they'll probably win a couple of games against better teams that they shouldn't. They always manage to pull one or two of those out every year no matter how shitty they are.

Oakminster 09-19-2019 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by enalzi (Post 21869966)
Eh, you play the Jags during the stretch. And I really don't see Brees sitting out the second half of the season if he's healthy, regardless of playoff odds.

I'm a pessimist by nature. I'm not convinced Drew is coming back from this. He's pretty old, and his hand may not heal as quickly or completely as expected....

Harrington 09-19-2019 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Intergalactic Gladiator (Post 21869844)
Whoops, make that 0-14-2 because they play each other twice. Duh.

The Jets and Dolphins are so bad, it is possible for both of them to lose when they play each other.

Typo Negative 09-19-2019 03:26 PM

I have seen several articles in the new today that say the Dolphins and tanking on purpose. The Dolphins (management, not players) are intentionally fielding a bad team to improve their draft position next year.

Can season ticket holders sue? Or at the very least, get a refund?? They paid full price, but are intentionally getting sub-par product.

kenobi 65 09-19-2019 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Typo Negative (Post 21870681)
Can season ticket holders sue? Or at the very least, get a refund??

Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer. :)

Can they sue? Sure -- my understanding is that you can file a lawsuit over practically anything, and "I'm suing you" is shorthand for "I'm filing a lawsuit against you." Do they have a case? Now there's the question, and I suspect that the answer is "no." They bought tickets to professional football games, and there's no promise that the team that management puts on the field is going to be good.

The players have all signed NFL contracts, they are all getting paid -- they *are* professional football players. Whether or not they're competitive with the other teams they play may be frustating and annoying to the fans, but I doubt it's a breach of contract.

Typo Negative 09-19-2019 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kenobi 65 (Post 21870705)
Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer. :)


The players have all signed NFL contracts, they are all getting paid -- they *are* professional football players. Whether or not they're competitive with the other teams they play may be frustating and annoying to the fans, but I doubt it's a breach of contract.

Clarification. It is not the players that are breaching the contract, it's the owner and management. They have purposefully put a sub par team together. They have traded away what little talent they had. They have decided NOT to compete this year. IMO, they have defrauded the paying customers. They should give those customers a refund.

kenobi 65 09-19-2019 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Typo Negative (Post 21870734)
Clarification. It is not the players that are breaching the contract, it's the owner and management.

Oh, I know, and that's what I was referring to -- the contract that's part of buying a ticket for a game. I mentioned the players because the ticket-holders have bought tickets for a professional football game, and by any technical definition of the term, the players that the Dolphins are fielding *are* professional football players -- they have signed NFL contracts, and they are getting paid. They *are* professionals.

"Putting a subpar product on the field" may feel fraudulent, but I don't believe that there is anything in the contract between the ticket-holder and the team that promises a par product.

garygnu 09-19-2019 04:47 PM

The team can also deny that they are "intentionally putting out a sub-par product." They can simply argue they are trying to field the best team they can, but as with any business, working toward future success has to be accounted for.

Harrington 09-19-2019 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Typo Negative (Post 21870734)
They have purposefully put a sub par team together... They have decided NOT to compete this year.

That's going to be really tough to demonstrate in a court of law.

Lawyer: Are you tanking?

Respondent: No.


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