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Patx2 07-28-2018 12:26 PM

you’ve really got the head for it.

Thinking about...

Happy Lendervedder 07-28-2018 12:30 PM

...offering a hat to the smiling pineapple on the davenport.

Care to finish my...

Beckdawrek 07-28-2018 12:39 PM

Peanut butter sammich?

I missed my ride to_____.

Happy Lendervedder 07-28-2018 01:15 PM

Funkytown; won't you take me?

The line-dancing cowboys never feel like...

Heffalump and Roo 07-28-2018 01:34 PM

. . . sitting down.

Tonight will be the ____________

Beckdawrek 07-28-2018 01:51 PM

Folksong Karaoke team challenge.

I am seeded_____.

boson 07-28-2018 10:42 PM

...weeded and beated.

Tomorrow will be my day to...

Alpha Twit 07-28-2018 10:50 PM

eat a muffin and go back to bed. Repeat as needed.

I Ilike to spread my bran muffin with....

Beckdawrek 07-28-2018 10:55 PM

You don't want to know.

I like to spread out my______.

Happy Lendervedder 07-28-2018 11:08 PM

...weasel skins on the bed and pretend they're rabbit skins.

Did you know weasel meat...

RivkahChaya 07-28-2018 11:22 PM


Originally Posted by Happy Lendervedder (Post 21115016)

Did you know weasel meat... can have as much of as you want? because no one else will eat it.

A 4,000 Watt radio station in Fresno. . .

Beckdawrek 07-28-2018 11:36 PM

Is run on weasels instead of hamsters. What next? Groundhogs?

My pet ferret is_____.

Happy Lendervedder 07-28-2018 11:41 PM

...weaseling out of dinner with my mom again.

A glamorous lady on your arm at midnight is worth...

snfaulkner 07-29-2018 12:14 AM

...about $40k on the organ black market. Wholesale.

Breaking through the clouds...

Spoons 07-29-2018 12:31 AM

... the aircraft headed for its cruising altitude.

Then, when they brought the beverage cart around ...

Beckdawrek 07-29-2018 01:44 AM

I wanted a drink but 'no dice' the lady in front got the onion juice. Dang, what a bummer!

I flew on til____.

Patx2 07-29-2018 09:37 AM

the plane landed.

When I went to collect my luggage...

Happy Lendervedder 07-29-2018 09:45 AM

...the deviled eggs I ate on the plane suddenly felt like a demon in my soul, but also my bowels.

The chicken on the road saw...

snfaulkner 07-29-2018 04:24 PM reason for all the jokes made at its expense and plotted its revenge upon the world.

Step #1:...

Beckdawrek 07-29-2018 05:04 PM

Hop off the curb.

Step #2_______.

Prof. Pepperwinkle 07-29-2018 05:07 PM

... Proudly march across the pavement.

Step #3: .......

Happy Lendervedder 07-29-2018 06:35 PM

Never comes during rush hour.

The roadkill in front of the governor's mansion...

Prof. Pepperwinkle 07-29-2018 08:05 PM

...was large, orange and had an oddly blond wig.

News Center 8...

Beckdawrek 07-29-2018 08:15 PM

Was fake news, after all.

So they fired______.

CharmaChameleon 07-29-2018 09:29 PM

all the janitors.

Then, when they ...

Beckdawrek 07-29-2018 09:47 PM

Discovered all the hidden garbage they lamented their dumb decision.

So, they make a new decision to_______.

Elendil's Heir 07-30-2018 10:02 AM

invest heavily in the Acme Buggy Whips Co.

That didn't exactly work out, either, and when the SEC came calling, _______________

snfaulkner 07-30-2018 04:39 PM

...they barricaded the door and handed out the firearms to the remaining personnel.

After the firefight....

Beckdawrek 07-30-2018 04:59 PM

Shell casings were gathered and counted.

The reason being______.

Spoons 07-30-2018 09:54 PM

... they could make a fortune selling them.

They planned to use the funds raised to ...

Happy Lendervedder 07-30-2018 10:14 PM

...throw a bitching kegger.

Cheap beer never...

boson 07-30-2018 11:04 PM laid.

Maybe I should...

Beckdawrek 07-30-2018 11:06 PM

Stick to wine like a clinging vine.

The next morning______.

Spoons 07-30-2018 11:53 PM

... you'll realize that wine was not a good choice either.

Maybe you should just ...

Happy Lendervedder 07-30-2018 11:58 PM

...move straight to meth addiction and REALLY have some stories to tell at Thanksgiving.

Mashed potatoes taste best when they have...

Beckdawrek 07-31-2018 12:02 AM

Been cooked by anyone other than myself.

I like being catered to and________.

RivkahChaya 07-31-2018 12:03 AM


Originally Posted by Happy Lendervedder (Post 21118718)
Mashed potatoes taste best when they have...

...Parmesan cheese mixed in.

The worst thing about "farm-to-table". . .

Spoons 07-31-2018 12:58 AM

... at cards, when all players at the table are also cheaters?

It is so hard to make a dishonest living nowadays that ...

RivkahChaya 07-31-2018 03:23 AM


Originally Posted by Spoons (Post 21118778)
It is so hard to make a dishonest living nowadays that ...

...honesty is considered cheating.

'Twas brillig. . .

Elendil's Heir 07-31-2018 12:12 PM

and those damn slithy toves really irritated the hell out of me, so I stomped all over them.

Skipped earlier:

I like being catered to and________.

Prof. Pepperwinkle 07-31-2018 12:14 PM

...hang the expense.

Lewis Carroll asked me to dine, and...

Spoons 07-31-2018 06:14 PM

... I was glad that it was a dinner invitation, instead of one for a tea party.

Just glad that I didn't encounter the Cheshire Cat, because ...

snfaulkner 07-31-2018 06:19 PM

...I'm more of a Cheshire Dog person.

Using a flamingo as a mallet...

Patx2 07-31-2018 06:33 PM

really makes the feathers go flying.

One time a psychic told me...

RivkahChaya 07-31-2018 07:35 PM


Originally Posted by Patx2 (Post 21120437)

One time a psychic told me...

...I'd have two sons. She was wrong.

The story you have just seen. . .

snfaulkner 07-31-2018 07:40 PM true. And by true I mean false. It's all lies, but they are entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is no.

I'm Leonard....

Happy Lendervedder 07-31-2018 08:02 PM

Nimoy's nephew's son's third grade teacher; I have a pocket full of red Lifesavers.

The elephant wandered dangerously close to...

boson 07-31-2018 09:56 PM

...forgetting where the burial ground was.

But she found it but realized...

Spoons 07-31-2018 10:15 PM

... that without headstones, she had no idea where her family plot was.

So, she left her flowers in the middle, and ...

Happy Lendervedder 07-31-2018 10:21 PM


Originally Posted by Spoons (Post 21120751)
... that without headstones, she had no idea where her family plot was.

So, she left her flowers in the middle, and ...

...nodded politely to the groundskeeper doing a crossword puzzle in the shade.

As she passed, he whispered, "Five letters, first letter D..."

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