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-   -   Finish my sentence, and start a new one! (https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=857802)

Spoons 10-07-2019 05:25 PM

... look after sector 7G when you were on lunch?

Because you need to see what ...

Elendil's Heir 10-08-2019 10:15 AM

Smithers just brought to the table.

Mr. Burns, meanwhile, was just sitting in his office and....

Spoons 10-09-2019 02:40 AM

... touching his fingers together while saying "Excellent."

Lenny and Carl ...

Elendil's Heir 10-09-2019 09:23 AM

, whom no one could tell apart except true Simpsons devotees, were meanwhile sitting cross-legged in a yurt just outside of Blawnox, Pa.

They were discussing Episcopal theology and....

boson 10-09-2019 11:28 PM

…psychosomatic rashes.

As Lenny scratched his ankle, he asked Carl what his beliefs were. Carl scratched his neck and…

Spoons 10-10-2019 01:01 AM

... asked, "Why does this conversation make us both itch?"

The decided to go to Moe's and ...

Elendil's Heir 10-10-2019 10:33 AM

suddenly realized they were still in Blawnox, not Springfield.

As they rolled up the yurt, packed their bags and headed for the airport, Lenny said....

Spoons 10-12-2019 06:28 PM

... "We've gotta get a smaller yurt."

Carl just shrugged and said ...

Ambivalid 10-12-2019 07:24 PM

Fucked up.

Spoons 10-15-2019 10:56 PM

"Naw, it's not fucked up," said Lenny, "it's just .... "

atimnie 10-19-2019 09:41 PM

...too big.

Hey, whatever happened to...

Spoons 10-19-2019 11:34 PM

... Belle and the Maison Derrière?

And while we're thinking about places in Springfield, what happened to ...

boson 10-26-2019 10:54 PM

...the Springfield Vampires?

Didn't they once have a winning season or did they...

Spoons 10-26-2019 11:09 PM

... get sold to an owner in Albuquerque?

Who knew that Albuquerque ...

boson 10-27-2019 08:22 PM

…had a wascally wabbit for mayor?

He brought in the Albuquerque Vampires who won games by…

Spoons 10-27-2019 10:40 PM

... only playing night games.

The one time they had to play a day game, they ...

atimnie 10-27-2019 11:40 PM

...had to wear burkas to keep from turning to dust.

Anyway, they keep themselves under control, only feeding on...

boson 10-28-2019 09:16 PM

…vultures and buzzards which gives them very bad breath.

To control their bad breath, they have a tendency to…

Spoons 11-03-2019 11:15 PM

... consume frightening amounts of breath mints.

Their favorite flavor is ...

Beckdawrek 11-04-2019 12:04 AM

Cinnamon.

Cinnamon toast always.......

Spoons 11-04-2019 05:04 PM

... tastes great!

How many other spices ...

boson 11-07-2019 11:46 PM

...can you fit in you purse at the market?

I can fit lots but I've never tried to steal...

atimnie 11-07-2019 11:55 PM

...anything, except from those candy bins they used to have in the grocery stores.

But that doesn't count since...

Beckdawrek 11-08-2019 01:08 AM

the grapes were in sealed containers. How else can you snack while shopping?;)


The banana peel on the floor........

Spoons 11-08-2019 09:43 AM

... did not end well for me.

When I go to the supermarket nowadays ...

boson 11-13-2019 11:19 PM

… I first get nauseated from a huge meal.

Otherwise I might…

atimnie 11-14-2019 12:26 AM

...binge in the chips section.

The stores don't seem to like that much, sometimes they'll even...

Elendil's Heir 11-14-2019 09:57 AM

fire a warning shot through my liver.

I don't see why supermarkets even need armed guards. Why, just a week ago....

atimnie 11-14-2019 10:09 AM

...there was a riot at Hobby Lobby.

Where were the guards then, while the rioters...

Spoons 11-14-2019 10:46 AM

... were getting high on airplane glue and arming themselves with X-Acto knives?

But the worst part was ...

Elendil's Heir 11-14-2019 01:47 PM

the management staff, bitching and moaning about the Affordable Care Act.

If you ask me,....

Spoons 11-15-2019 01:34 PM

... they should spend less time bitching and moaning, and more time actually working.

But that's unlikely, so ...

boson 11-16-2019 12:22 AM

…I’ll just fill in the adult coloring books while I’m in the store.

As far as the children’s coloring books…

Spoons 11-16-2019 12:36 AM

... who says I cannot color a cute kitty green, if I want to?

Of course, no cat comes in that color, but ...

(As an aside, does anybody remember those Doodle-Art posters from back in the 1970s, where you colored a poster?)

atimnie 11-16-2019 01:28 AM

...who gives a rat's ass?

Creativity, man, that's what it's about, like the guy who...

Spoons 11-16-2019 01:54 AM

... say, "Carburetors, man, that's what life is all about."

They're only second to tuck-and-roll upholstery and ...

Beckdawrek 11-16-2019 02:09 AM

A teak dash board.


The real art on a car is______.

Spoons 11-16-2019 02:30 AM

... the airbrushed dragons, warriors, and scantily-clad maidens on 1970s shaggin' wagons.

Ah, the 1970s, when ...

atimnie 11-16-2019 08:53 AM

...you could read Playboy and not get verbally castrated by fauxminists.

That isn't feminism, that's...

Prof. Pepperwinkle 11-16-2019 08:55 AM

...Miss Havisham in a new black dress.

The problem with superhero movies is...

Patx2 11-16-2019 09:11 AM

I’ve never gotten to star in one.

Of course, my superpower is


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