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Cardigan 07-25-2018 09:59 AM

us drinks and asked where I'd been all his life.

I told him....

Patx2 07-25-2018 07:00 PM

I was a drifter, I didn’t like putting down roots.

So I asked him...

snfaulkner 07-25-2018 07:03 PM

...his name and in a raspy voice he said "yoda"
Y-O-D-A, Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

When asked about slime creatures....

Beckdawrek 07-25-2018 08:20 PM

I get out the salt.(hate them slugs).

I made microwave popcorn then______.

Ambivalid 07-25-2018 09:02 PM


Originally Posted by Beckdawrek (Post 21108820)
I made microwave popcorn then______.

Rolled up that broccoli. ��

The only time i will eat broccoli is when it comes with a big, fat_____.

Beckdawrek 07-25-2018 09:48 PM

Waitress to serve it to me.

I am terminally______.

Spoons 07-25-2018 10:15 PM

... challenged.

Because every time I go to the bus terminal ...

Beckdawrek 07-25-2018 11:03 PM

I find my ship has sailed.

I want to go to_______.

boson 07-25-2018 11:23 PM

…the You Like Needles, Do Ya? tattoo parlor.

I just gotta get the name of my girlfriend covered with…

Happy Lendervedder 07-25-2018 11:35 PM

...something less obscene.

My mom never liked me dating...

jepflast 07-25-2018 11:50 PM

...her twin sister, and I suspect she's fooled me a couple of times.

As the hotdog rolled slowly down the steps...

Happy Lendervedder 07-26-2018 12:04 AM

...I knew my life had changed forever; but then I noticed the mustard stain on my tie.

The riverboat captain and the priest wondered if...

Spoons 07-26-2018 12:23 AM

... they'd ever walk into a bar together, and be the subject of a joke.

The captain thought so, but the priest ...

Beckdawrek 07-26-2018 12:29 AM

Went out and bought a kangaroo.

I am jumpy because_______.

snfaulkner 07-26-2018 12:41 AM

...of The 'Nam, man!

During my last tour in country...

Spoons 07-26-2018 02:34 AM

... I spent a little too much time at the souvenir stand, and the tour bus left without me.

So, in order to get to my destination, I had to ...

sabernode 07-26-2018 02:43 AM

...rob a clown in 80s clothing.

He tried to call the cops but, I...

RivkahChaya 07-26-2018 04:44 AM


Originally Posted by sabernode (Post 21109206)
...rob a clown in 80s clothing.

He tried to call the cops but, I...

...knocked his phone out of his hand with a move I learned from watching Jackie Chan movies.

That darned cat. . .

Cardigan 07-26-2018 10:02 AM

was kind of a lame movie - even as Disney goes.

When I'm in the mood for.....

Prof. Pepperwinkle 07-26-2018 10:32 AM

...quality entertainment, I read a book.

The best kind of story is...

Happy Lendervedder 07-26-2018 01:19 PM that has a goat on a train.

The farmer got on his tractor and realized...

Prof. Pepperwinkle 07-26-2018 03:36 PM

...he had but a stoat on the train by mistake.

Most railroad engineers prefer...

Beckdawrek 07-26-2018 04:15 PM

Blonds. Ask them, you'll see.

I wish I was on the Polar Express because____.

Prof. Pepperwinkle 07-26-2018 04:16 PM

...I could really go for some hot chocolate right about now.

I still believe in...

RivkahChaya 07-26-2018 04:35 PM


Originally Posted by Prof. Pepperwinkle (Post 21110630)
I still believe in...

...Ingrid Bergman not getting on the plane, every damn time I watch the movie.

It is a truth universally acknowledged. . .

Beckdawrek 07-26-2018 04:43 PM

That she bogarted that movie completely.

I never told them to play it______.

RivkahChaya 07-26-2018 05:42 PM


Originally Posted by Beckdawrek (Post 21110695)
I never told them to play it______.

like Dooley. They wouldn't have gotten it.

Here's. . .

Patx2 07-26-2018 07:04 PM

lookin’ at you.

You thought I was going to say, here’s...

Beckdawrek 07-26-2018 07:25 PM

The beef.
You thought I was gonna say "Here's ______."

CharmaChameleon 07-26-2018 07:36 PM


On the other hand Jack might

Beckdawrek 07-26-2018 08:15 PM

Be shining you on.

I saw the movie and_______.

CharmaChameleon 07-26-2018 09:30 PM

it was mildly awful.

But Shelley Hack was...

RivkahChaya 07-26-2018 09:50 PM


Originally Posted by CharmaChameleon (Post 21111176)

But Shelley Hack was...

...mildly awful as Charlie's least talented Angel.

Shelley Duvall, on the other hand. . .

Beckdawrek 07-26-2018 10:10 PM

Made Popeye happy.

I told Sweetpea about______.

Spoons 07-26-2018 11:30 PM

... that incident where Olive Oyl--well, you know.

And she had a difficult time ...

boson 07-26-2018 11:48 PM

...hamburgers dressed with fresh spinach.

Wimpy overheard and tried it. As he swallowed, he said...

Beckdawrek 07-27-2018 09:40 PM

I'll gladly never reimburse you. Yuk!

Bluto gave the best response by_____.

CharmaChameleon 07-27-2018 09:56 PM

...belching loudly and striding away.

But Swee'Pea had a different...

Beckdawrek 07-27-2018 10:54 PM

Spelling than upthread, but he/she is the same infant.

You can tell_____.

Happy Lendervedder 07-27-2018 10:57 PM

...a lot about a man by the shine of his trombone.

The kid behind the organ...

snfaulkner 07-28-2018 12:09 AM

...went missing 4 yrs ago.

The cause of death was determined to be...

Happy Lendervedder 07-28-2018 12:20 AM

...suffocation by shower curtain.

If the pineapple looks like it's smiling...

Beckdawrek 07-28-2018 12:25 AM

Invite him in.

Otherwise fruit cocktail_____.

Spoons 07-28-2018 04:24 AM

... would be the default from here on in.

In other news, this little guy had quite the adventure when ...

CharmaChameleon 07-28-2018 04:51 AM

... he found only televisions watching him.

Then he only watched back because ...

Prof. Pepperwinkle 07-28-2018 07:59 AM

...he craved the attention.

That man went on to become...

Happy Lendervedder 07-28-2018 08:58 AM

...the smiling pineapple currently relaxing on your davenport.

Now turn off the TV if you want...

Prof. Pepperwinkle 07-28-2018 09:38 AM

...and go outside and play.

The friendly neighbors...

Beckdawrek 07-28-2018 12:03 PM

Are living in a pinespple under the sea.

So we planned a______.

RivkahChaya 07-28-2018 12:23 PM


Originally Posted by Beckdawrek (Post 21114141)
So we planned a______.

fishing trip, and Mai Tais.

Nice hat. . .

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