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Beckdawrek 12-24-2018 01:49 AM

Those eyes scared me. Creepy.

I only wear glasses to______.

Spoons 12-24-2018 08:46 PM

... look good.

My eyes are actually ...

Beckdawrek 12-24-2018 08:48 PM


Me and Helen______.

Spoons 12-24-2018 11:21 PM

... Wheels might as well be Thelma and Louise.

When Helen drives a car, I ...

Beckdawrek 12-24-2018 11:23 PM

Listen for big trucks.

When we get close to our exit_____.

Spoons 12-25-2018 12:38 AM

... she waits until the last second before taking it.

When she drives, I not only wear a seat belt, but I also ...

Beckdawrek 12-25-2018 02:28 AM

A bike helmet. 'Cause I'm stylish that way.

But, when I ride a bike I wear_____.

snfaulkner 12-25-2018 02:32 AM

Short shorts.

Who else but....

Spoons 12-28-2018 01:30 AM

... Mickey Mouse could get away with short shorts every day?

Seriously, what's with that cartoon ...

Beckdawrek 12-28-2018 02:16 AM

Bowtie. It's huge.

Generally I like a man in a bowtie and______.

panache45 12-28-2018 03:04 AM

Nothing else.

I wonder how he ______.

Spoons 12-28-2018 03:46 AM

... ties that bow tie.

I've worn a necktie for years, but bow ties ...

Alpha Twit 12-28-2018 07:39 AM

nauseate me.

Bill Nye seems to be a cool guy but,......

Beckdawrek 12-28-2018 09:35 AM

Science? Really?

His experiments are_______.

Spoons 12-28-2018 08:57 PM

... things you can easily try at home.

The Mythbusters experiments, however ...

Beckdawrek 01-02-2019 01:44 AM

Were text book.
If your text book was______.

Cardigan 01-02-2019 07:52 AM

about scatology, would you read it?

Ah vacation, how I long to....

Alpha Twit 01-02-2019 08:00 AM

wander the exotic back alleys of Bismarck, North Dakota.

I need do dress warmly so...

Elendil's Heir 01-02-2019 02:19 PM

that when I bump into funny-looking guys from Fargo, I won't catch a chill.

The last time I was in Fargo, let me tellya, I....

Patx2 01-02-2019 06:52 PM

had quite a scare.
Little did I know that

Beckdawrek 01-02-2019 07:40 PM

Dead people are laying right under the snow.

While eating I_____.

Spoons 01-02-2019 11:34 PM

... began to wonder just what I was eating.

It was supposed to be chicken, but ...

Beckdawrek 01-03-2019 12:50 AM

I think they were just saying that to fool me.

KFC is my favorite because_____.

Spoons 01-03-2019 04:30 AM

... the eleven different herbs and spices are the only thing that separate that stuff from ordinary fried chicken.

And even that's ...

Elendil's Heir 01-03-2019 08:32 AM

only part of the attraction - the near-lethal salt and saturated fats make for a truly memorable taste treat.

In Botswana, Kentucky Fried Chicken....

Beckdawrek 01-04-2019 01:33 AM

Is some sort of bush-meat.

Travelling I often only eat_____.

Elendil's Heir 01-04-2019 01:33 PM

Venezuelan beaver cheese on whole-wheat crackers.

My sister and niece both graduated from Wooster College, but _____

Beckdawrek 01-05-2019 11:03 PM

Bertie and Jeeves weren't there.

My butler stopped the ______.

Spoons 01-06-2019 03:30 AM

... bathtub from overflowing.

But when he served my afternoon sherry at the wrong temperature ...

Patx2 01-06-2019 12:23 PM

thatís when I knew I had to let him go.
Since firing all the hired help, I find the hardest task to master on my own is

Beckdawrek 01-06-2019 02:27 PM

Undressing. A valet is a wonderful thing.

I'm just gonna go naked til_______.

Alpha Twit 01-06-2019 09:35 PM

I need to fry the bacon for "PORKFEST" tonight.

When the pigs rise up against humanity....

snfaulkner 01-06-2019 10:18 PM

...manchops and applesauce will be served on Thursdays.

Tuesdays will be...

Beckdawrek 01-07-2019 12:22 AM

Longpork and beans. Yummy.

Beans, beans the magical fruit_____.

Spoons 01-08-2019 10:57 PM

... but when you've eaten them, they're has-beans.

I always make sure that my pantry contains ...

boson 01-08-2019 11:58 PM

...a bassoon or two.

There's nothing like going home and blowing on a ...

Beckdawrek 01-09-2019 12:36 AM

Door knob. ( don't ask)

When I jump the threshold ______.

Spoons 01-09-2019 01:04 AM

... it's always with my cat, who is trying to escape the house when I open the door.

I've learned to ...

Beckdawrek 01-10-2019 12:23 AM

Leap tall buildings.

My super powers also came with_____.

Spoons 01-11-2019 12:35 AM

... a Turnip Twaddler! I ordered within ten minutes, and got two Turnip Twaddlers for the price of one!

Infomercials should be ...

Beckdawrek 01-11-2019 01:00 AM

Longer. Some people need more convincing.

RonCo products have always______.

boson 01-13-2019 12:35 AM

…competed with Oxyclean as the most scientifically correct commercials that television has ever seen in the history or the world.

Why last month, I beat my own record and filled my house with purchases of….

Beckdawrek 01-13-2019 12:41 AM

Chia pets. They are wonderful.

My pets are all_______.

Spoons 01-22-2019 03:31 PM

... difficult to clean up after, though.

Whoever thought up the chia pet should be ...

boson 01-22-2019 11:57 PM

…subjected to seeds in his ears.

I’d like to see a chia pet of…

Spoons 01-23-2019 12:32 AM

... Dwayne Johnson.

I saw him in "Walking Tall," and ...

Beckdawrek 01-23-2019 12:49 AM

And I bumped my head.

The theatre was obviously built for_______.

boson 01-23-2019 01:50 PM

…people who don’t search for treats on the floor.

In fact, during a showing of A Hard Day’s Night, I found…

Spoons 01-23-2019 11:01 PM

... that the snack bar was only selling Beatles merchandise.

I didn't need that, when all I wanted was ...

Beckdawrek 01-24-2019 12:31 AM

A rolling stone.

I can't get no_____.

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