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Elendil's Heir 02-04-2014 10:53 AM

Five-Word Movie Review
Inspired by this thread:

I thought it might be fun to try it as a game.

The Rules

1. Address three movies at a time, reviewing or describing each in just five words. Bonus points for wit, elegance and puns.
2. End your post with a genre, theme or descriptor (cowboy movies, Jimmy Stewart movies, movies with a color in the title, etc.) for the next poster.
3. If there are simulposts, the second-appearing poster need not redo his or her movies, but should repeat the ending genre, theme or descriptor of the first poster. If he or she doesn't, the next poster should repeat that genre, theme or descriptor, so that each one gets done eventually.
4. Genres, themes and descriptors may be repeated if there is at least one intervening different example.

I'll start....

War movies:

Soldiers suffer, win respect, die.

Breaker Morant
Three Aussie officers get railroaded.

Good Lord, what an ego!


Film noir.

Prof. Pepperwinkle 02-04-2014 11:24 AM

Film noir.

The Maltese Falcon
Fat man wants a bird.

The Big Sleep
Hays Code changed the murder.

Double Indemnity
Fred MacMurray's a serial killer.


Madcap romantic comedies.

C K Dexter Haven 02-04-2014 01:31 PM

Madcap romantic comedies:

Bringing Up Baby
"Ohhh, David, a leopard!"

Philadelphia Story
"My, but she was yar."

Super-hero movies

Prof. Pepperwinkle 02-04-2014 01:51 PM

Super-hero movies

Pow! Wham! Bop! Holy camp!

Look, up in the sky!

Fantastic Four
How come Doom's face's visible?



YogSothoth 02-04-2014 03:24 PM


Django Unchained
Jamie Foxx invents dynamite early

The Great Train Robbery
That guy's shooting at us!

The Lone Ranger
Worst for Indians than smallpox


Science Fiction

Just Ed 02-04-2014 04:29 PM

Science Fiction:

The Blob: Jello from space threatens consumption

Blade Runner: Humans and replicants fighting destiny

Close Encounters of the Third Kind: Music soothes the alien beast

Next: Comedy

Spoons 02-04-2014 04:51 PM


Happy Gilmore
Golfer beats professional, gets girl.

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
Crazy chase for a fortune.

Animal House
Fraternity hijinks outrage the college.

Next: Musicals

Prof. Pepperwinkle 02-04-2014 05:06 PM


Singin' In The Rain
Lip sync saves true love.

Jesus clowns around New York.

Paint Your Wagon
Two cowboys, one woman, music!


World War II

Elendil's Heir 02-04-2014 05:53 PM

A Bridge Too Far
Epic screwup by Allied brass.

Inglorious Basterds
Far from history, but fun.

The Eagle Has Landed
Bagging Churchill not that easy.


American Civil War

Spoons 02-04-2014 06:50 PM

American Civil War:

Gone with the Wind:
Atlanta burns, flames Scarlett red.

Thirteenth Amendment, from House to theatre.

The Hunley:
Makeshift submarine's crew tries, dies.

Next: Tom Cruise films.

Elendil's Heir 02-04-2014 06:56 PM

Misled cadets can't save school

Top Gun
Navy pilots kick ass, man!

Born on the Fourth of July
Vietnam no fun for grunts

Next: Ahnuld films

longhair75 02-04-2014 07:10 PM

Conan the Barbarian:
"the lamentation of the women"

Kindergarden Cop:
kindergardeners get the upper hand

True Lies
Arnold Swarzenegger dances the Tango!

Next: Courtroom drama

Prof. Pepperwinkle 02-04-2014 07:10 PM


Elendil's Heir 02-04-2014 08:31 PM

A Few Good Men
We CAN handle the truth!

The Verdict
Ambulance chaser reaches for redemption.

AIDS ennobles young gay lawyer.

Next: Cowboy movies.

Little Nemo 02-04-2014 08:37 PM


Miller 02-04-2014 09:12 PM

Cowboy movies:

Remember when Costner was good?

Ends in metatextual shoot out.

The Magnificent Seven:
It was better with samurais.

Vampire movies

Elendil's Heir 02-04-2014 09:18 PM

Sparkly vampires? Gimme a break.

The Lost Boys
A rather different youth gang.

Langella is young, sexy, scary.

Next: Jimmy Stewart movies.

Prof. Pepperwinkle 02-04-2014 09:23 PM

Jimmy Stewart movies.

Nice guy and his pooka.

The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance
Well, it wasn't Jimmy Stewart.

Kim makes his head spin.


Mel Brooks films

Elendil's Heir 02-04-2014 09:52 PM

The Producers
Hitler conquers Broadway - no, really!

Blazing Saddles
Deliriously funny; definitely not P.C.

The History of the World, Part I
Swing and a (historical) miss.

Next: Movies with a color in the title.

Just Ed 02-04-2014 10:06 PM


The Green Mile: Sorrowful giant sacrifices; affects all

A Clockwork Orange: Milk bar, mayhem, redemption, relapse

Pitch Black: Alien creatures can't beat Diesel

Next: Stephen King adaptations

Prof. Pepperwinkle 02-04-2014 11:11 PM

Pennywise scares; second half's dull.

The Running Man
Arnold Schwarzenegger kills Richard Dawson.

Pet Sematary
Let's go see Frankenweenie instead.

Chick Flicks

Elendil's Heir 02-04-2014 11:18 PM

Wuthering Heights
Lots o' angst among Brits.

Doomed romance on sinking ship.

Terms of Endearment
Mother, daughter deal with sorrows.

Next: Harrison Ford movies.

Spoons 02-05-2014 12:19 AM

Harrison Ford movies:

Amish Paradise without Weird Al.

Star Wars (the original):
Some call me Space Cowboy.

Raiders of the Lost Ark:
Adventuring archeologist, and melting Nazis.

Next: Best Picture Oscar Winners.

Sampiro 02-05-2014 03:28 AM

The cinematic James K. Polk...*

Forrest Gump
Manchild sees everyone, does everything.

The Godfather, Part 2
Top of the World, Pop.

*The "Dark Horse" president.

Next: Whodunits

Spoons 02-05-2014 08:08 AM


Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Detective investigates death by piano.

Murder on the Orient Express:
So-called strangers on a train.

Murder by Death:
Detective parodies investigate runaway Twain.

Next: Sandra Bullock films.

Prof. Pepperwinkle 02-05-2014 08:26 AM

Sandra Bullock films.

Sandra falls for Keanu Reeves.

The Proposal
Sandra falls for Ryan Reynolds.

Sandra just falls and falls...

Hitchcock films.

astorian 02-05-2014 09:22 AM

Innkeeper is a homicidal maniac.

The Trouble WIth Harry
Dead guy keeps popping up

Rear Window
Voyeur thinks he's uncovered murder.

The Birds
Feathered friends on killing spree!

Englishman strangles chicks with necktie.

New topic: Mockumentaries

Elendil's Heir 02-05-2014 10:13 AM

Just three movies, please, astorian. See Rule 1.


This is Spinal Tap
Loudest band has ups, downs.

Best in Show
Dog lovers are weird, no?

A Mighty Wind
So earnest, but so clueless.

Next: Movies with a number in the title.

Intergalactic Gladiator 02-05-2014 10:47 AM

Movies with a number in the title.

Zero Hour
Unfunny predecessor to hilarious Airplane.

One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest
Troublemaking criminal gets a lobotomy

2 Fast 2 Furious
Cars driving fast, furious, again

Three Kings
Bumbling soldiers attempt gold heist

Next: "Grindhouse" movies.

Spoons 02-05-2014 11:13 AM

"Grindhouse" movies:

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!
Crime, fast cars, faster women.

Death Race 2000:
Cannonball Run, with real cannons.

Walking Tall:
Baseball bat takes on corruption.

Next: Animated feature films.

Prof. Pepperwinkle 02-05-2014 11:17 AM

Animated feature films

Dinosaurs, Cernobog, Faeries, Mickey Mouse

You'll cry in 15 minutes.

Allegro non Troppo
Disney was never like this.


Elendil's Heir 02-05-2014 11:41 AM

Gone with the Wind
Enduring Lost Cause propaganda flick.

Don't fuck with the Scots.

Bogie rules; wasn't Ingrid lovely?

Next: One-word-title movies.

Miller 02-05-2014 11:45 AM

Oscar Winners:

How Green Was my Valley
Should have been Citizen Kane

Should have been Taxi Driver

Should have been Brokeback Mountain

Next: Vietnam movies.

Elendil's Heir 02-05-2014 11:52 AM

My post was four minutes before yours, Miller. Make sure you're doing the latest "Next" category.

Vietnam movies:

Charlie Sheen, an innocent? Really?!?

Forrest Gump
Heroism can sometimes surprise you.

Apocalypse Now
Never get off the boat.

Next: One-word-title movies.

RickJay 02-05-2014 12:04 PM


Gay lawyer gets legal vengeance.


People deal with drug issues.


Shit gets real in space.

Next: Coen Brothers films

Sampiro 02-05-2014 12:46 PM

Raising Arizona
Intertile trailer couple needs kid.

O Brother Where Art Thou?
Musical Odyssey through Depression Mississippi.

Snow, greed, and woodchippers, Ja?

Next: Maureen O'Hara films

Prof. Pepperwinkle 02-05-2014 01:11 PM

Maureen O'Hara Films

Miracle on 34th Street
It's silly, but I believe!

The Quiet Man
Naughty bits are in Irish.

The Parent Trap
Why I had tubes tied.

Kaiju monsters!!!!

astorian 02-05-2014 01:16 PM

Hydrogen bomb awoke sleeping tyrannosaurus.

Giant pterodactyl blows Tokyo down.

Tiny chicks' pet caterpillar attacks!

Next: Woody Allen films

Elendil's Heir 02-05-2014 01:34 PM

Immortalized "That's a big chicken."

Take the Money and Run
Very, very, very incompetent criminal.

Annie Hall
Diane Keaton at her best.

Next: George Lucas films.

Prof. Pepperwinkle 02-05-2014 01:44 PM

George Lucas films

White sets are very dystopian.

Audiences couldn't accept midget hero.

American Graffiti
Introducing Richard Dreyfuss, Harrison Ford.

Blackspoitation films

Elendil's Heir 02-05-2014 02:31 PM

Still has cool theme song.

Bitten African prince still "lives."

I'm Gonna Get You Sucka
Spoof of a weird genre.

Next: Movies about ships.

Spoons 02-05-2014 03:58 PM

Movies about ships:

The Poseidon Adventure:
Luxury liner capsizes, few survive.

A Night to Remember:
Titanic without Rose and Jack.

The Perfect Storm:
Atlantic weather can be cruel.

Next: Movies about college.

YogSothoth 02-05-2014 04:08 PM

Movies about ships

The Poseidon Adventure
Cruise ship goes belly up

Speed 2
Relatively fast ship eases landward

Heroic iceberg ends shitty romance

Next: Horror movies

Bah, too late! >_<

Intergalactic Gladiator 02-05-2014 04:12 PM

Movies about college.

Animal House
Classic movie about slob frat

Slacker builds his own college

Back to School
Old quipster wins diving match

Next: Christmas movies

Prof. Pepperwinkle 02-05-2014 04:28 PM

Christmas movies

Jingle All The Way
Ah-nuld goes shopping for dolls.

How The Grinch Stole Christmas
Director Opie misses the point.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Griswald's brother-in-law kidnaps his boss.

Movies made last year.

oft wears hats 02-05-2014 04:29 PM

Christmas movies

The Santa Clause
Like Highlander, but with Santa

Die Hard
Yippie ki yay, mother fucker

It's a Wonderful Life
Man discovers his true worth

ETA: Forgot to give a new theme, but I'll leave it off since I was ninja'd anyway.

astorian 02-05-2014 05:16 PM

Movies made last year.

American Hustle
Phony Arabs bribe Jersey politicians.

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
Daydreamer Travels World Seeking Photo

Nerd's smitten with cell phone.

New topic:

Superhero flicks

RickJay 02-05-2014 05:49 PM


Godlike alien becomes Earth hero


Rich guy secretly fights crime


Mutants are disliked, but persevere.

New topic:

Baseball movies

Elendil's Heir 02-05-2014 07:16 PM

A League of Their Own
Women ballplayers persevere during WWII.

Major League
Could the Indians really win?

The Kid from Cleveland
Delinquent finds extended baseball family.

Remember Rule 3. We never did the new category from post 43.

Next: Horror movies.

Prof. Pepperwinkle 02-05-2014 07:39 PM

Horror Movies

Nightmare on Elm Street
Freddy kills some screaming teenagers.

Michael kills some screaming teenagers.

Friday the 13th
Jason kills some screaming teenagers.

High Fantasy

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