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-   Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS) (https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/forumdisplay.php?f=4)
-   -   It Came From The Crypt (Sequential Threads 2019) (https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=868203)

CalMeacham 01-10-2019 10:21 AM

Separated by one:

TMI: My rectum is on fire (anal fissure)

I haz silencer.


Jackmannii 01-10-2019 11:16 AM

What exactly is a "no thumb safety?"
Bra Gun


Better keep those thumbs to yourself, bub. :eek:

Ludovic 01-10-2019 04:29 PM

Impeachment? Then, what?
More NC Elections Shenanigans

Ludovic 01-11-2019 07:10 AM

Should we get a budgie?
Being the last poster of a thread and then it dies


THIS! Is an ... EX ... BUDGIE!

ftg 01-11-2019 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CalMeacham (Post 21422786)
Separated by one:

TMI: My rectum is on fire (anal fissure)

I haz silencer.


Not together but in reverse order:

I haz silencer.
TMI: My rectum is on fire (anal fissure)


At least one can suffer in silence.

Annie-Xmas 01-11-2019 09:14 AM

[b] Where's Bricker?
What to do in Dallas?
My bank account was hacked. :( [b]

Where's Bricker? In Dallas, hacking bank accounts!

CalMeacham 01-11-2019 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas (Post 21424760)
[B] Where's Bricker?
What to do in Dallas?
My bank account was hacked. :( [B]

Where's Bricker? In Dallas, hacking bank accounts!


With a Lead Pipe!

Johnny L.A. 01-11-2019 04:38 PM

Hate your job? Take solace in this fact:
I do not have an ego

Two Many Cats 01-11-2019 05:54 PM

All the transgender/binary/genderqueer/LGBQTIetc is just the 2010's equivalent of...

1970's Custom Vans!

And they're absolutely faaaaabulousss!!!

Channing Idaho Banks 01-11-2019 06:23 PM

What's the worst reaction you've ever had to medication?

Celebrity Death Pool 2019

Hopeful Crow 01-11-2019 08:32 PM

I have stopped . . .
I'm a half an inch off from the universe.


I'm picturing Wile E. Coyote the moment after he's run of the edge of a cliff. Only this would be worse. I think.

Jackmannii 01-12-2019 08:16 AM

How do you organize your books?
I'm gonna assume you are physically plain, "imperfect" or outright homely...


Lessee...wig and toupee books, lowest shelf...plastic surgery for dummies, middle shelf...masks and cosmetics, whole separate bookcase...

MEBuckner 01-12-2019 03:41 PM

If you have a very attractive sibling, do you recognize that they're attractive?
Who's that man?


"...He's a real hunk!"
"For God's sake, Mary Sue, that's your brother!"

kunilou 01-12-2019 05:19 PM

What's the most interesting car you saw today?

1970's Custom Vans!!!

Jackmannii 01-12-2019 05:34 PM

Is your blood missing Indian B? Zainab needs you!
Free Jeep!


Wow, all my blood bank gives donors is orange juice and cookies. :(

stillownedbysetters 01-13-2019 07:11 AM

All the transgender/nonbinary/genderqueer/LGBTQIA+ stuff of today, is just the 2010s equivalent of..
Should we get a budgie?
Clearly, I've been gone too long...


stillownedbysetters 01-13-2019 07:15 AM

USPS package tracking is down?
I have stopped . . .



I started out so hopeful but with the government shutdown, and now this.....

Jackmannii 01-13-2019 11:20 AM

Why is prostitution illegal?
Is Fox News really all that bad?


They lost a certain amount of credibility after changing their motto from "Fair and Balanced" to "Girls, Girls, Girls!".

Hopeful Crow 01-13-2019 01:32 PM

I have stopped . . .
The De-Clutter and Clean Up Support Thread


But it was going so well!

Jackmannii 01-14-2019 07:55 AM

What was South Asian cuisine like before the Columbian Exchange ?
Glow in the dark


Heavy on fungi, huh? Cool!

Annie-Xmas 01-14-2019 08:04 AM

From New Posts, and much too good to wste:

Why is prostitution illegal?
Trump associates may have...
Most expensive punchline?


Trump and an pensive prostitute punchline. It writes itself.

Jackmannii 01-14-2019 11:13 AM

Breaking a Trillion Dollar Bill - Possible?
A foot in YOUR door.


Anyone who puts a foot in my door asking for change of a trillion dollar bill gets the hose. :mad:

kunilou 01-14-2019 08:35 PM

Catch a Predator

1970's Custom Vans!!!


It's like honey to a bear!

CalMeacham 01-15-2019 06:43 AM

European housing - what's with all the doors and corridors?

A foot in YOUR door.




See, if they Didn't have "all the doors and corridors", you couldn't guarantee that you'd have a foot in your door.

Jackmannii 01-15-2019 07:52 AM

what will be the next nutritional "wisdom" or big food fad?
Pet Groomers: Will You Express a Dog's Butt Glands? (TMI)


New from Nature Valley: Canis Derriere Liquid Essence™ - All-Natural, Organic, Non-GMO. Supports Heart, Liver, Gastrointestinal and Butt Health*. Now available in handy spray canister.

*These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to treat, prevent, mitigate or cause any disease. Do not take Canis Derriere Liquid Essence™ if you are allergic to it or participating in online dating.

Ludovic 01-15-2019 09:08 AM

Which is grammatically correct?
If you have a very attractive sibling, do you recognize that they're attractive?
Cats & their "wet" food


The first one is more correct. Singular "they" has been in use for centuries, while scare quotes are sometimes frowned upon if you are not actually quoting someone or referring to the usage of a word.

Annie-Xmas 01-15-2019 09:23 AM

Trump serving fast food to Clemson players during White House visit
It Came From The Crypt (Sequential Threads 2019)


What came from the crypt--the fast food or Trump?

Jackmannii 01-15-2019 12:19 PM

Trump serving fast food to Clemson players during White House visit
1970's Custom Vans!!!


Hope he also remembered to hand out complimentary high-top Keds sneakers.

Johnny L.A. 01-15-2019 01:05 PM

Why is prostitution illegal?
The five billion dollar wall


We can't have freelancers competing with the wall's glory holes! :mad:

Jackmannii 01-15-2019 03:33 PM

Things people buy and end up not using.
Sardines!

Ludovic 01-15-2019 06:55 PM

When did country music jump the shark?
Songs that should end before they do


Country songs should all end right when they begin amirite?

Ludovic 01-16-2019 08:20 AM

Things you do, that without context...
rehab after a stroke


By "stroke", I didn't mean that!

Jackmannii 01-17-2019 07:45 AM

The greatest skill I've ever acquired in my life
Being the last poster in a thread and then it dies


And to think I was satisfied with finally learning to tie my shoelaces.

TMI: My rectum is on fire (anal fissure)
Do you hold grudges?

Johnny L.A. 01-17-2019 10:54 AM

Toddler's car seat falls out of car and is unharmed and rescued.
Do you hold grudges?


Toddler: 'Nah, I'm OK. It's all good.'

Johnny L.A. 01-17-2019 11:28 AM

Do you hold grudges?
Deaths in the family


Cousin shouldn't have made me take the smaller cookie when I was five. :mad:

Jackmannii 01-18-2019 01:41 PM

A foot in YOUR door.
MRI on my knee - a little help please?


Next time, keep your foot out of MY door. :mad:

MEBuckner 01-18-2019 03:20 PM

What does non-toxic masculinity look like?
The five billion dollar wall


Non-toxic masculinity.

Ludovic 01-18-2019 05:03 PM

Fermi Paradox. What am I missing?
Cities lined up in a row?


Only ALIENS could have drawn such a straight line that our cities are placed on!

Jackmannii 01-18-2019 06:01 PM

Euphemisms for sex in Rock & Roll
Question about ineligible receivers


:dubious:

Jackmannii 01-19-2019 10:21 AM

In medical systems that reward doctors for patient outcomes, how to avoid cherry picking patients
Go to first new post low sodium ..... mayonnaise???


Not a bad idea. I've seen ads that say "Practice Limited To Miracle Whip Users".

Jackmannii 01-19-2019 12:00 PM

What is--and isn't--a dinosaur?
What's this Old Timey thing in photograph


She does look a bit reptilian in a long-necked gown, but I'd swear that's Great-Aunt Mabel.

Ludovic 01-20-2019 08:16 AM

How much change?
Ask the trans woman.


I dunno, worth asking.

Johnny L.A. 01-20-2019 09:04 AM

What is--and isn't--a dinosaur?
Cockroaches


They are simultaneously dinosaurs and not dinosaurs.

ftg 01-20-2019 10:11 AM

A three-fer:

Update: I have a Consulting Job Now
New job! I've never been the boss before.
Real life Cinderella Stories


Getting a job as a consulting boss (?) is the new Cinderella story.

Jackmannii 01-20-2019 03:20 PM

How do the adjustable knobs in my car work?
What Aircraft Is This?


I'll take "Top !00 Things You Don't Want To Hear Your Driver Or Pilot Say" for $200, Alex. :eek:

Johnny L.A. 01-20-2019 03:59 PM

Help me rethink my stew recipe
Danny Partridge

Jackmannii 01-21-2019 06:53 AM

Ask the trans woman.
George Washingtons dentist


If this is the plot of the next Will Ferrell movie, I refuse to even watch the trailer. :mad:

Ludovic 01-21-2019 08:36 AM

What's white on the outside and brown on the inside?
Worst skyscraper ever

Jackmannii 01-21-2019 01:06 PM

Dillinger’s or anyone’s penis
"Johnny come lately"...


I thought he only referred to it as "Dick", "Johnson" or "Cock Robin". :dubious:

Ludovic 01-22-2019 06:59 AM

Signing off
Dillinger’s or anyone’s penis


Welcometoindianamonhaveaniceday


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