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-   -   Coupla cellphone "ettiquette" questions (https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=866951)

Dinsdale 12-09-2018 01:08 PM

Coupla cellphone "ettiquette" questions
 
I am not a "heavy" user of my cellphone. It is not uncommon for me to not have my phone with me, or for it to run out of charge. I'm seeking input primarily from folk who like to have their phones with them and available most of the time, and who tend to check/use them rather regularly.

First - are there times/places you DO NOT check your phone? Like if you go to friends'/family's house for a meal or drinks? My personal thought is that if you are spending a limited period of time with people you like, and if you don't have some plans you need to coordinate for immediately after, that you either excuse yourself and check your phone, or wait til you leave to just check in with what is going on on-line.

Second, if you are the type of person who check/type on your phone every time it signals, what are your thoughts when you choose NOT to respond to a text? I find my emotions mixed when I send a text to someone whom I KNOW checks their phone often - maybe asking a question, maybe just checking in, and hours pass without them even responding w/ a "k", "busy - get back to you later," ":D", etc.

FairyChatMom 12-09-2018 01:21 PM

I'm not a heavy user at all - I have a pay-as-you-go flip phone. But my mom and my inlaws are in their mid-80s, so if it rings, I'll look to see who's calling. More often than not, I end up silencing the ring on a junk caller.

Of course, I didn't even own a cell phone till I was in my 50s, so being constantly in touch isn't a major element of my life. I remember the olden days before answering machines were invented! :D

DPRK 12-09-2018 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dinsdale (Post 21368593)
First - are there times/places you DO NOT check your phone? Like if you go to friends'/family's house for a meal or drinks? My personal thought is that if you are spending a limited period of time with people you like, and if you don't have some plans you need to coordinate for immediately after, that you either excuse yourself and check your phone, or wait til you leave to just check in with what is going on on-line.

Let's say that where you would feel funny pulling out a paperback book from your pocket and starting to read it, you should not whip out a telephone. That definitely includes formal and semi-formal social settings, as well as spending time with friends unless by mutual agreement such things are OK with your crew.

If you are a doctor or fireman on call, then certainly you may politely excuse yourself and take care of business.
Quote:


Second, if you are the type of person who check/type on your phone every time it signals, what are your thoughts when you choose NOT to respond to a text? I find my emotions mixed when I send a text to someone whom I KNOW checks their phone often - maybe asking a question, maybe just checking in, and hours pass without them even responding w/ a "k", "busy - get back to you later," ":D", etc.
Unless your correspondent is otherwise required to respond promptly, I would not get excited for at least 24 hours or more. People are busy, you know.

BrickBat 12-09-2018 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dinsdale (Post 21368593)
Second, if you are the type of person who check/type on your phone every time it signals, what are your thoughts when you choose NOT to respond to a text? I find my emotions mixed when I send a text to someone whom I KNOW checks their phone often - maybe asking a question, maybe just checking in, and hours pass without them even responding w/ a "k", "busy - get back to you later," ":D", etc.

At first I would respond as soon as the situation allowed, socially or safety-wise, but I've found some people would take advantage of me and become de-facto pests. In turn, I felt I had to "train" certain people to the reality that I'll get back to them when I'm damned good and ready. Even if I could respond immediately, I would wait. There's a few leads at work who I gave my # to in good faith in case they really needed to mention something important. Then it got to be a constant stream of frequent and silly requests for updates, and then being pestered seemingly every time a thought popped in their heads. I had to give them the silent ( er ) treatment as I couldn't get anything done.

I'm like you though, I don't carry my phone with me unless I'm expecting contact, preferring to have it where I can get to it and check it every now and then. I don't do idle chitchat in public places.

Beckdawrek 12-09-2018 03:21 PM

More often than not, i don't get back to peeps immediately. Usually it's a lost or dead phone that's the reason. My kids go berserk if I don't respond promptly. They know I am scatterbrained. They just cannot abide it. Of course they always have the phone in their hands or close by. My very young granddaughter ( just 6) already as an iPhone. She plays on it. Takes pix and texts. I dont see it as being any different from her Nabi pad or the DS. It does seems a bit early to me. I ain't said a word to Son-of-a-wrek about it. Nana has no pull in that matter. So be it.

doreen 12-09-2018 08:15 PM

I only check my phones if they ring or buzz - I may have to respond if it's work and if it's my home phone, I'll look to see who's calling. If it's my sister who lives with my mother, I'll find out if its an emergency and if not , I'll get back to her later. If it's my husband or kid, they usually text rather than call, and I will text back a single word - yes, no OK or busy. All of this of course assumes that the people I'm with aren't on their phones to settle arguments about who held the XYZ record in 1988 or what year a movie came out or ....

MoonMoon 12-09-2018 08:26 PM

My phone is always with me, and I check it frequently, but it does not make any sounds. Sounds are rude, not glancing at your phone occasionally.

If Iím at a social event, Iíll glance at it if thereís a lull, or if I go to the bathroom or get a drink. No big deal, and most everyone else I know does the same thing.

I know the Dope skews old and Luddite, but Iím 48 years old and this is normal behavior for my peer group. And I donít know a single person with a flip phone, and Iím not sure why that seems to be a bragging point around these parts.

lingyi 12-09-2018 08:29 PM

I have 30 minutes/texts a month and sometimes don't use it all.

If I don't have your name/contact in my phone, I won't answer your call or text.
If you don't leave a voicemail, call wasn't important at all.
If you VM or Textbomb my phone because I don't respond, your first voicemail or text better be REALLY important to me, not just you!
If you think talking or answering your text is more important that the live social interaction I've having with someone right now, we'll talk about it later, but you won't like what I have to say.

At a social gathering even with one person, phone on silent
At the movies, phone on silent and vibration off
In a business meeting, phone silent and vibration off

When to check the phone. When I excuse myself to to use the restroom or I lag behind for a moment when changing rooms.
Never, ever check the phone when there's just a lull in the conversation, even if everyone else is doing it
Never, ever check your phone when waiting for a business appointment. Reading the paper or magazines if fine if they're provided.

Exception is when you're waiting a very important call related to a possible emergency. In which case I inform the host/other guest ahead of time that I'm awaiting an important call. Too easy to fake a vibrating phone to get out of a conversation/situation. And yes, the others are thinking that if you don't let them know beforehand that you're on call.

lingyi 12-09-2018 08:34 PM

We're raising a generation with the Pavlovian response of "OMG, he/she didn't answer my call/text, right away! Something's wrong!" Wean them away from "You're the most important thing in my life.", to "I have a life too, I'll get back to you when I have time and I'm ready."

dalej42 12-09-2018 09:00 PM

I’m a very heavy phone user. If I’m out with friends, I check my phone about every 30 minutes or so during a lull. I ignore most texts, but if a family texts me and asks me to call on a Sunday night, I know it’s serious and they don’t want to chat about the weather.

I text my current dating interest frequently, so I do let him know if I’ll be busy for a couple of hours.

K2500 12-09-2018 11:07 PM

I'm a heavy phone user as well. It's well known I'm easy to get ahold of. My phone is always on and most always with me. If I'm with people I know well I'll check a phone call as it rings, it may or may not get answered depending on the person or circumstance. Most people I know will send a follow up text instead of leave a voicemail. Messages will be read(or not depending on read reports) more or less as recieved. They are responded to on a case by case just like the calls.

If I'm in the company of people I don't know well like a date or at a mixed gathering I'll silence it without looking at it. Texts will go unread while in the presence of said people. Unusual activity, if the damn thing keeps blowing up, will be checked with apology and the ringer turned off if appropriate.

When I choose not to respond its not usually for longer than a couple hours. Longer than a half day feels rude. If I don't respond at all that sends a message by itself I think.

Won't touch internet or social media in any situation that couldn't be described as waiting or killing time.

Phone calls these days seem to be for urgent things or things that require a timely response. It's almost like making a demand for attention. It's not uncommon for me to get or send texts asking if a call can be made.

kayaker 12-10-2018 06:31 AM

There are times, regardless of the occasion, when saying, "Excuse me a minute, I have to take this" is understandable. IMHO.

scareyfaerie 12-10-2018 06:39 AM

I answer my phone when I'm good and ready, and not before. Usually if it's a call, I'll look to see who it is as I have an elderly parent who's had a couple of quite serious falls so if it's her, or her careline, I will answer. Otherwise if I'm not expecting a call then I'll probably not bother. As fro texts, I have to stop and put my reading glasses on before I can do anything about a text so depends where I am and how convenient it might be. And of course, depends if I hear my phone or not. Generally, if I'm out in a social setting with friends, the phone is on silent and will be ignored. I grew up with the idea that such things are rude when one is out in polite company, as the focus should be on the people you're out with.

SanVito 12-10-2018 07:14 AM

I'm a heavy user only in that I always have my phone on me, and use it for work and leisure, so checking emails/Slack and the like is a regular thing.

However, I am socially sensitive and there are many occasions I don't look at my phone - in a restaurant (unless I'm alone), at the dinner table at home, out socialising with friends.

I just think it's rude. I don't see any reason keep pulling out your phone unless you're a doctor on call or want to know where your Uber has got to.

If someone texts I'll answer at my leisure. If someone leaves a voicemail I'll likely pick up quickly as it's such a rare occurrence, it might be important.

I'm 48, if that matters.

Dinsdale 12-10-2018 07:23 AM

Thanks for the responses, all.

Personally, I think the "check during a lull" is generally a tad rude - with some exceptions (ailing relative, evolving plans for later that day, etc.) But I'm pretty resigned to the fact that a large (growing?) portion of people (of all ages) thinks that appropriate.

I recall one instance that bothered me a bit - and caused me the re-evaluate things a bit. We went on a ski weekend with 2 of our kids and their fiances. One couple was on their phones incessantly. Since we see each other infrequently (living hundreds of miles apart), we thought they could check their phones during the majority of the day that we weren't together. And their close friends could have understood that they were on a vacation weekend with parents/prospective in-laws. We went out for a nice dinner, and were a little dismayed when in each of the photos we took around the table, one person had their phone in their hand. I assume just a habit, with no ill-will intended. But somewhat unfortunate and rude IMO.

My second question concerned when you send a text to someone whom you KNOW checks and answers their phone very regularly. You can be pretty sure that, unless they are asleep, on a plane, or at a movie or something, they check their phone at least every 30 minutes - if not as soon as it signals. And they tend to respond immediately - even to texts about which they will say, "nothing's up." I assume that such folk realize that they are sending a message to the folk whose texts they DO NOT respond to somewhat promptly (within a couple/few hours?) Essentially screening one's calls.

I tend not to be the most prompt responder to texts. I'm unable to during the majority of my working days, and my personal habits (flaws?) are that I do not always have my phone with me/charged. But I do check my texts/e-mail at least 1x a day, and respond to ones from people who might expect/appreciate a response. If I know your regularly accept calls from folk on relatively mundane topics, if you do not accept mine - even to respond with a placeholder "k" - it is difficult not to think the recipient thinks none too highly of the sender. Not looking for grudges to harbor - just trying to navigate the changing seas of tech-iquette, and assess/re-assess personal relationships.

kayaker 12-10-2018 07:49 AM

Maybe part of it is "reading the room". When out with friends, I know Mike will check his phone every 15 minutes because he tracks the movement of his 16 year old's phone. Joe is technically always on call, so he checks anytime his phone vibrates. Beth is a Facebook addict and is always closely following some drama. I love them all.

I don't feel bad answering when my daughter texts, " Dad, I'm making xyz for dinner and halfway through I see I don't have balsamic vinegar. Know a workaround?" I also don't feel bad handling my gf's occasional family/work crisis. Everyone knows her phone stays, muted, in her purse. They text me with questions for her.

Annie-Xmas 12-10-2018 08:28 AM

As far as I may concerned, if two or more people are assembled for a single purpose, the cell phone is not to be used for anything. Keep it covered.

That also applies to driving and walking. Every cell phone call and message are not that important. I swear, some people must believe in the "cell phone police" who come put you in prison if you don't answer every call and text right away.

enipla 12-10-2018 08:28 AM

My mother has a medical alert button. The company that manages it knows that I (and 911) are the first people to call. So yes, I keep my phone with me at all times.

As for checking emails and such, I'll discretely check if I'm out with friends. If there is something I must respond to (very rare) I'll try to find a private place to do so. I would never make a phone call at the dinner table for instance. That's just rude.

monstro 12-10-2018 09:18 AM

If I'm hanging out with people who aren't heavy cell phone users, then I'd probably feel weird about whipping out my phone, lull or no lull. But if I'm hanging out with people who are constantly looking into their phone, then I'd take that as permission that it is okay to look into my phone too. In other words, I think what's rude or not is totally dependent on the attitudes of the people involved and what we're doing. Like, I would never check my phone in the midst of a boisterous, entertaining dinner conversation. But if half the group has exited to the restroom and the other half is talking about a topic I don't particularly care for, then I'll probably check the news headlines on my phone.

I'm not a huge texter and I don't get a lot of texts from people. Most of the texts I get are time-sensitive (like, someone looking for directions to my house or someone asking what time we're supposed to meet), so I typically respond ASAP. But if someone is just sending me a bunch of cute baby photos? I don't usually respond, and if I do, it's not immediate.

Annie-Xmas 12-10-2018 09:25 AM

BTW, I've conditioned myself to check the phone when I am on the bus, twice a day going to and coming from work. Other than that, I don't check it at all.

People who have to be on the phone in my checkout line drive me bonkers. They have to be called to the line, told to put their items on the counter, asked for payment two or three times, and don't even acknowledge me! What is so important that it can't wait for two minutes?

I used to think of them as "plonkee monkees" until my sister said they remind her of turkeys pecking at the ground all the time. That's it: I call them plurkey turkeys.

monstro 12-10-2018 09:27 AM

I meant to add: I am only find cell phone use rude when the user is "double-tracking". Like, if I'm talking to you, I don't want you looking at your phone at the same time. You may be listening to me 100%, but it is hard for me to believe this when your eyes aren't looking at me. However, I don't find it rude if you leave the room to check your phone or if you put your phone down once I start talking to you.

Omar Little 12-10-2018 10:29 AM

Dinsdale, what's up with you and your venting about your kids and their spouses presumed rude behavior? This seems to be a common theme with you.

Trust me, your kids and their spouses are normal. This is a generational thing. It's not against you personally.

Procrustus 12-10-2018 10:34 AM

When I'm out with people, even at a meal, I glance at my phone every few minutes (10 to 30 minute intervals probably) to see if there is a text or missed call. Usually there isn't and I put it down. The habit started in the early days of cell phones when something serious happened with one of my daughters and they couldn't reach me. When I finally looked at my phone, there were about 15 missed calls. With old parents and kids who sometimes need something, I check often. I don't check email or do other things, just glance at the screen and put it down. I'm much more relaxed knowing nothing is amiss.

Living Well Is Best Revenge 12-10-2018 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Omar Little (Post 21370002)
Dinsdale, what's up with you and your venting about your kids and their spouses presumed rude behavior? This seems to be a common theme with you.

Trust me, your kids and their spouses are normal. This is a generational thing. It's not against you personally.

I was wondering the same thing. When I see the name "Dinsdale" I think "oh this is guy who doesn't like his kids."

Dinsdale 12-10-2018 10:45 AM

What's up with me is I often find myself uncomfortable in various social situations. I'm interested in having the best relations possible w/ my family. My immediate family members are pretty much the only people I give a damn about, so that is likely why I often ask about them.

These boards are a good opportunity for me to get a wide range of input, to assist me in assessing my and others' behavior. I can consistently rely on some jerks stopping by to say some uncharitable things. Which is fine. Thanks for serving that function in this thread!

SanVito 12-10-2018 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dinsdale (Post 21369634)

My second question concerned when you send a text to someone whom you KNOW checks and answers their phone very regularly. You can be pretty sure that, unless they are asleep, on a plane, or at a movie or something, they check their phone at least every 30 minutes - if not as soon as it signals. And they tend to respond immediately - even to texts about which they will say, "nothing's up." I assume that such folk realize that they are sending a message to the folk whose texts they DO NOT respond to somewhat promptly (within a couple/few hours?) Essentially screening one's calls.

For me, this falls into the camp of 'trying to second guess what people think of you' which is an emotionally dangerous game to play. If someone doesn't get back to me for a while, I've conditioned myself not to think they are screening my calls, but rather they just have something more important for them personally to do at that time. And that is totally fine.

I often don't respond directly to a text - it doesn't mean I'm screening calls. It frequently just means that I'm in the middle of something, and I want to respond when I've got time and head space to give a proper response. Because let's face it, all this constant phone checking (which we can all be guilty of), doesn't really count as concentrated study. It's mindless habit 90% of the time. We don't take in much of what we look at.

Macca26 12-10-2018 11:22 AM

Wait, we've got a person who admits to letting their phone just sit without any power because they don't use their phone that much, getting irked that sometimes when they send a text message to someone who DOES use their phone, they don't get a response back right away? I mean, maybe they're giving YOU the same courtesy you give THEM. If you want a prompt response how about you keep track of your phone and give them the same prompt response? In my personal life, I will not go out of my way to treat someone better than they treat me. Consider how you are treating the people you text. You say that you respond back within a day, but I seriously doubt that if you let your phone sit without any battery. That usually only happens if you leave it without charging it for more than a day.

Eyebrows 0f Doom 12-10-2018 11:26 AM

This whole idea of "checking your phone" seems incredibly outdated. My phone is almost always either on me or in my immediate vicinity because it's used for so much more than simple calls, so when I get a call or text I know right then. There is no need to "check it" every so often.

I don't get that many calls or texts so it really is not a big deal to look and see who it is, and all I have to do is glance at my watch. I don't see how it's any different than if someone taps you on the shoulder while you are doing something. You wouldn't turn around to see who it is?

monstro 12-10-2018 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Macca26 (Post 21370104)
Wait, we've got a person who admits to letting their phone just sit without any power because they don't use their phone that much, getting irked that sometimes when they send a text message to someone who DOES use their phone, they don't get a response back right away? I mean, maybe they're giving YOU the same courtesy you give THEM. If you want a prompt response how about you keep track of your phone and give them the same prompt response? In my personal life, I will not go out of my way to treat someone better than they treat me. Consider how you are treating the people you text. You say that you respond back within a day, but I seriously doubt that if you let your phone sit without any battery. That usually only happens if you leave it without charging it for more than a day.

This is an excellent point. I don't expect people to respond rapidly to my emails or texts because I know good and well I don't respond rapidly to emails or texts. It doesn't even matter to me if I know the person I'm waiting to hear back from is constantly on their phone. Maybe they are constantly on the phone with other people who are constantly on their phone. The squeaky wheel gets the grease and all that.

kayaker 12-10-2018 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eyebrows 0f Doom (Post 21370112)
This whole idea of "checking your phone" seems incredibly outdated. My phone is almost always either on me or in my immediate vicinity because it's used for so much more than simple calls, so when I get a call or text I know right then. There is no need to "check it" every so often.

Between texts, Facebook notifications, Imgur notifications, weather alerts, Reddit notifications, calendar reminders, etc, my phone vibrates every couple of minutes. I check my notification screen every so often to see if anything needs a response.

lingyi 12-10-2018 11:57 AM

Don't phones have the ability to assign individual ringtone and vibration settings to your contacts anymore? I get so few calls/texts I don't bother anymore, but my old Nokia's could do that. I'd use different settings by importance of the caller.

Icarus 12-10-2018 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kayaker (Post 21370130)
Between texts, Facebook notifications, Imgur notifications, weather alerts, Reddit notifications, calendar reminders, etc, my phone vibrates every couple of minutes. I check my notification screen every so often to see if anything needs a response.

Do you want active notifications for all that? You can turn those off. YMMV, and all that.

Dinsdale 12-10-2018 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monstro (Post 21370117)
...Maybe they are constantly on the phone with other people who are constantly on their phone. ...

Yeah - that is sorta what I was wondering. Does a frequent phone user feel other frequent users' contacts deserve priority? Or do they think an unusual contact from a Luddite gets priority or gets deferred?

Always useful to get info from folks whose practices/preferences differ from mine.

Procrustus 12-10-2018 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eyebrows 0f Doom (Post 21370112)
This whole idea of "checking your phone" seems incredibly outdated. My phone is almost always either on me or in my immediate vicinity because it's used for so much more than simple calls, so when I get a call or text I know right then. There is no need to "check it" every so often.

My phone is almost always on silent.

kayaker 12-10-2018 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Icarus (Post 21370193)
Do you want active notifications for all that? You can turn those off. YMMV, and all that.

Yes, I do. Depending on what I'm doing I can ignore or or read them. :)

monstro 12-10-2018 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dinsdale
Yeah - that is sorta what I was wondering. Does a frequent phone user feel other frequent users' contacts deserve priority? Or do they think an unusual contact from a Luddite gets priority or gets deferred?

I have to imagine that if you're constantly talking to someone (whether it's via texting, email, or phone), then your relationship with them is pretty close. If you only have sporadic conversations with someone, the relationship is probably not that close. So it makes perfect sense why a "constant conversational partner" would have higher priority over someone you only talk to occasionally.

SanVito 12-11-2018 04:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Procrustus (Post 21370287)
My phone is almost always on silent.

Mine too. But I have an iWatch, so get jabbed in the wrist if someone is trying to get in touch.

Annie-Xmas 12-11-2018 08:06 AM

I know a woman who works at a homeless shelter. She told me there are people there who are homeless because they are so addicted to being on the phone tht they cannot work. And the store I work at has fired people for texting instead of working.

Beckdawrek 12-11-2018 08:21 AM

The lil'wrekkers iPhone is lighting up every few minutes. She's in constant contact with several friends. I don't know how she thinks or at least try to pay100% attention to whats going on around her. It's how they ( young folks) are nowadays. Personally my brain is such I can't do it. I can multi-task, but not with technology buzzing, vibrating or ringing all the time. And I don't know anyone I want to be in constant conversation with. Nope, not one.

muldoonthief 12-11-2018 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas (Post 21371666)
I know a woman who works at a homeless shelter. She told me there are people there who are homeless because they are so addicted to being on the phone tht they cannot work. And the store I work at has fired people for texting instead of working.

And? There are people who are homeless because they're addicted to alcohol, and people have been fired for drinking on the job. Neither of those is a reason to ban having a glass of wine with dinner.

Annie-Xmas 12-11-2018 08:56 AM

It's okay to have a glass of wine at dinner, but no be drinking on the job all day. And it's not okay to be constantly texting at work, when you are not being paid to do it. When I train new workers, the first thing I tell them is "There are no devices allowed at the registers. You are here to work."

I had one young man who, when he didn't answer his cell phone, the person called him on the store's landline and ask for him. I reported the incident, and he got fired.

muldoonthief 12-11-2018 09:05 AM

So he was following the rules, you reported him for following the rules, and your boss fired him for following the rules? That's pretty shitty all around.

Annie-Xmas 12-11-2018 09:08 AM

No, one of the other rules is No personal calls on the store's phone. I'm supposed to wait for him to bag an order while he is gabbing on the phone? I don't think so.

kayaker 12-11-2018 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas (Post 21371759)
It's okay to have a glass of wine at dinner, but no be drinking on the job all day.

Actually, I have a couple of friends who run breweries. It's absolutely okay for them to be drinking on the job all day.

Dinsdale 12-11-2018 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas (Post 21371783)
No, one of the other rules is No personal calls on the store's phone. I'm supposed to wait for him to bag an order while he is gabbing on the phone? I don't think so.

Does sorta sound odd, to fire the worker, for something his FRIEND did. I could imagine the employer inquiring whether it was an emergency and, if not, hanging up after telling the caller "no personal calls allowed." Then tell the employee to tell friends not to call on landline.

Annie-Xmas 12-11-2018 09:25 AM

The "no cell phone" had been a chronic problem with this person, and he had been warned. And he did not end the call on the landline with "I can't talk now. Good-bye and do not call here again," but talked for 6 minutes. That was just not acceptable.

monstro 12-11-2018 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas (Post 21371759)

I had one young man who, when he didn't answer his cell phone, the person called him on the store's landline and ask for him. I reported the incident, and he got fired.

I am so glad that you are not my boss. And I'm glad I don't work a job where this kind of shit happens.

doreen 12-11-2018 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monstro (Post 21372811)
I am so glad that you are not my boss. And I'm glad I don't work a job where this kind of shit happens.

I'm glad I don't work a job where this happens too- but that's because I'm happy I no longer have the particular type of job where you get fired for this , not because there's something terrible about this guy being fired. He works at a store, at a cash register , apparently as a bagger. There's a couple of rules -"no devices at the register", "no personal calls on the store's phone". He was told of the rules when he was hired, and he had been warned about cell phone use. He doesn't answer his cell phone so his friend calls him on the stores landline.He doesn't tell the friend he can't talk , he doesn't talk for a few seconds and then run to tell the manager he must leave due to an emergency. Instead, he talks for six minutes , very possibly leaving Annie-Xmas and a line of customers waiting. It's true all of this information wasn't in Annie's first post, but it was there before you posted. I'm wondering how long you would patiently wait for the bagger to finish his phone call and how many times you think he should get warned about this (after previous warnings about cell phone use) before the boss can fire him.

monstro 12-11-2018 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doreen (Post 21372897)
I'm glad I don't work a job where this happens too- but that's because I'm happy I no longer have the particular type of job where you get fired for this , not because there's something terrible about this guy being fired. He works at a store, at a cash register , apparently as a bagger. There's a couple of rules -"no devices at the register", "no personal calls on the store's phone". He was told of the rules when he was hired, and he had been warned about cell phone use. He doesn't answer his cell phone so his friend calls him on the stores landline.He doesn't tell the friend he can't talk , he doesn't talk for a few seconds and then run to tell the manager he must leave due to an emergency. Instead, he talks for six minutes , very possibly leaving Annie-Xmas and a line of customers waiting. It's true all of this information wasn't in Annie's first post, but it was there before you posted. I'm wondering how long you would patiently wait for the bagger to finish his phone call and how many times you think he should get warned about this (after previous warnings about cell phone use) before the boss can fire him.

OK, but why couldn't Annie have written him up? Why not just tell him don't have his little friends calling the store and then threaten to fire him if someone called for him again?

I guess mercy no longer exists in modern day retail.

doreen 12-11-2018 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monstro (Post 21372954)
OK, but why couldn't Annie have written him up? Why not just tell him don't have his little friends calling the store and then threaten to fire him if someone called for him again?

I guess mercy no longer exists in modern day retail.

He didn't get fired the first time he broke the cell phone rule, there were multiple warnings. And then he not only received a non-emergency call on the landline, but stayed on the phone for six minutes. I'm starting to wonder how far you think mercy should go - suppose he breaks a different rule each day. Should he just get warnings until he breaks the same one a second or third time, or is a general inability to follow the rules a good enough reason to fire him?


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