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-   -   Songs that make you want to stick pencils in your ears (https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=877824)

Annie-Xmas 06-27-2019 11:21 AM

Songs that make you want to stick pencils in your ears
 
Also known as the "Working My Way Back to You Babe" Award. There is nothing redeeming about that song, and it makes me want to poke out my eardrums. Damn The Spinners for that piece of misogynistic crap.

Second in line is Air Supply's "I'm All Out of Love."

RobDog 06-27-2019 11:37 AM

Thanks for the opportunity to get these two off my chest.

Bryan Adams - (Everything I Do) I Do It For You

Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On

DSYoungEsq 06-27-2019 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas (Post 21720828)
Also known as the "Working My Way Back to You Babe" Award. There is nothing redeeming about that song, and it makes me want to poke out my eardrums. Damn The Spinners for that piece of misogynistic crap.

Second in line is Air Supply's "I'm All Out of Love."

First of all, "Working My Way Back To You" is by the Four Seasons (1966). The Spinners simply did a cover that, if I remember right, was packaged with "Forgive Me Girl". You may be remembering some of the conjoined lyrics.

Second of all, how in the world is the song mysogynistic???? It's about a man who is explaining how he was a complete jerk in his treatment of his girlfriend, and now wants to get her back by doing the right thing and being the sort of guy she'd want. If that's demonstrating hatred of women, I think we could use more such "hatred". :rolleyes:

Third of all, I'm not sure why these songs make you want to put pencils in your ears. I will grant that "All Out Of Love" was extremely over-played at the time (it came during a particularly bad time of my life romantically, so I associate the song with the break-up). But it's not a horrible song by any means, just a bit on the sappy side. Songs that make me want to stick pencils in my ears are songs that have horrible lyrics, or have one of those nasty ear-worm tunes that you just know you're going to be singing in your mind for the next four days, despite not being all that much a fan of the song. "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler is on the list for me, because after seeing the literal video parodying it, I cannot hear it without thinking about how stupid the video was. I'm sure others will come along with some good examples.

Fourth of all, you should get the names of the songs right. ;)

terentii 06-27-2019 11:59 AM

"You're Beautiful" and "Nine Million Bicycles in Beijing." Both of which were played ad nauseam on adult contemporary stations at around the same time. Yecccch! :mad:

Nonsuch 06-27-2019 12:01 PM

The Spinners' version of "Working My Way" isn't my favorite song, but I'd take it over the Four Seasons' version any day of the week.

pulykamell 06-27-2019 12:05 PM

"Dame Tu Cosita" by El Chombo. Apparently, this came out in the late 90s, but was resurrected by some minion of Satan last year. It only barely broke the Top 40 in the US, but it hit #1 on the Latin charts. Drives me up a wall, and I have two kids, ages 5 and 3, who love it.

Also, "Hey There Deliliah" by the Plain White T's makes me uncharacteristically stabby for some reason. Luckily, the popularity of that one has waned quite a bit.

Gatopescado 06-27-2019 12:08 PM

Anything by Imagine Dragons. I HATE this 'band'. They make me Imagine Silence. I wish they would Imagine Talent.

Infovore 06-27-2019 12:12 PM

"Cherish" by The Association.

Anything by David Lee Roth where he makes that stupid screamy sound of his. Actually, I want to stick pencils in his ears when I hear this sound.

"Havin' My Baby" by Mac Davis.

Just Asking Questions 06-27-2019 12:14 PM

Paradise by the Dashboard Light.

It might not be a "pencils in ears" song, but it definitely a "gopher" song. I gopher the knob as soon as it comes on. Fortunately, the need to do that has virtually gone to zero thanks to iTunes.

CalMeacham 06-27-2019 12:22 PM

Being the sick individual I am, I actually like some of these songs. and no one's mentioned the ones I really hate. Like Terry Jacks' Seasons in the Sun, which sounds as if he recorded it, made it into a vinyl record, drilled a new hole for the spindle off-center, then re-recorded it from the lopsided disc.


And that's only the style, not considering the lyrics.


Or Bill Withers' Ain't no Sunshine, in which he repeats the word "I know" 26 times in a row, which makes me want to scream "Hit Bill Withers - he's stuck!"

(Acording to the Wikipedia entry, he wanted to write more lyrics instead of repeating all those "I know"s, but pro musicians talked him out of it. They should be hunted down and killed.)



If you want really bad songs, check out these books:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_B...k_of_Bad_Songs

https://www.amazon.com/Dave-Barrys-B...gateway&sr=8-1

CookingWithGas 06-27-2019 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Infovore (Post 21720971)
"Havin' My Baby" by Mac Davis.

That was Paul Anka.

Mac Davis' big one was "Baby Don't Get Hooked on Me."

CookingWithGas 06-27-2019 12:28 PM

There are really too many to mention but I'll add Love Will Keep Us Together and Muskrat Love, the Captain and Tennille twofer, and Feelings by Morris Albert.

CalMeacham 06-27-2019 12:28 PM

I forgot to include the other book

https://www.amazon.com/Worst-Rock-Ro.../dp/0806512318

Aspenglow 06-27-2019 12:32 PM

Can't believe The Archies' 'Sugar Sugar' hasn't yet been mentioned.

pulykamell 06-27-2019 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aspenglow (Post 21721024)
Can't believe The Archies' 'Sugar Sugar' hasn't yet been mentioned.

I actually love that song! Perfect piece of bubblegum pop.

DSYoungEsq 06-27-2019 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CookingWithGas (Post 21721017)
There are really too many to mention but I'll add Love Will Keep Us Together and Muskrat Love, the Captain and Tennille twofer, and Feelings by Morris Albert.

Oh, please! "Muskrat Love" is awesome! You have to just get all smiles when you hear the muskrats giggling. :D

CalMeacham 06-27-2019 12:39 PM

Here's an interesting list.

I'm happy to say that I haven't heard the majority of the songs on the list. And I should probably keep it that way.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_o...ered_the_worst

Dung Beetle 06-27-2019 12:55 PM

About 33 years ago, when I was in my teens, I realized that my life would be greatly improved if I never heard "Free Bird" ever again. And that very day, I made a rule that I would go to whatever lengths necessary to prevent being exposed to it. As a result, I've only had to suffer it about once per decade since then.


I admit, "Free Bird" is not the very worst song in the world. The worst is obviously "Muskrat Love", DSYoung! :mad:

FairyChatMom 06-27-2019 01:37 PM

Anything by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap - too skeevy for words.

And easily half of the songs listed already - some I'm not familiar with and there are a couple I actually like. No accounting for tastes, huh?

terentii 06-27-2019 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DSYoungEsq (Post 21721046)
Oh, please! "Muskrat Love" is awesome! You have to just get all smiles when you hear the muskrats giggling. :D

I prefer "Hamster Love," myself. :o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VomUk3m4Pf8

Snowboarder Bo 06-27-2019 01:51 PM

I've long had a personal "Bob Seger rule" when in my car; Turn The Page is particularly loathsome.

Sparky812 06-27-2019 01:52 PM

The latest? "Old Town Road" - Lil Naz X (ft. Billy Ray Cyrus)

Any of the karaoke standards for people who think they can sing...

"Respect" - Aretha Franklin
"I will Survive" - Gloria Gaynor
"It's a Man's Man's Man's World" - Tom Jones
"Piece of my Heart" - Janis Joplin

Don't get me wrong, they were great songs but you can put money on someone singing it on American Idol or at a karaoke bar. They're so cliche.

divemaster 06-27-2019 02:03 PM

That live song from Peter Frampton where he makes his guitar "talk" at the end. I hate that song. And it's so long! The second it comes on I'll switch as fast as possible over to the sports station. So then I'll listen to, say, a baseball game for a few innings and then switch back over to the Classic Rock station--and that damn song is still on!

I like Elton John. Some good songs. But I hate Benny and the Jets almost as much as I hate the Frampton thing. And that's saying a lot.

campp 06-27-2019 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aspenglow (Post 21721024)
Can't believe The Archies' 'Sugar Sugar' hasn't yet been mentioned.

The very first song I actively hated. I felt bad about not liking it. But, it sucked! As it turned out, I was right all those years ago.

ZonexandScout 06-27-2019 02:18 PM

I really don't mean to hijack, but I have to mention something about "Sugar, Sugar."

My wife and I just attended a performance of The Turtles' "Happy Together" tour. (They do one every year, with a variety of old acts.) Mark Volman was performing as part of the last act, but his partner was definitely not Howard "Howie" Kaylan. This other guy did a great job, even if I had no idea who he was. Mark finally introduced him...it was Ron Dante! You probably have to be from that era to understand who Dante is, but the main thing he is remembered for is being The Archies.

TL;DR: We got to hear The Archies sing "Sugar, Sugar" two weeks ago.

BubbaDog 06-27-2019 02:36 PM

The Lumineers - Ho Hey

I guess they're shouting "Hey" or something during this song but it sounds to me like somebody sneezing and coughing at the same time.

So it's like sitting in a room with somebody doing that about 50 times while some other guy plays a boring ballad.

WOOKINPANUB 06-27-2019 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pulykamell (Post 21720947)
<snip>

Also, "Hey There Deliliah" by the Plain White T's makes me uncharacteristically stabby for some reason. Luckily, the popularity of that one has waned quite a bit.

DING. DING. DING.

Winner winner, lame ass dinner! The "some reason" is the shitty, lackluster "melody", the inane lyrics and the soulless singer's grating, unhip, moronic voice. GRRRRRRRR.

Phew! I feel so much better now :p

How about that whingy pap Kelly Clarkson put out: Because of You. Because of it I have to remove myself when I hear it played lest I become a danger to myself and others.

thelurkinghorror 06-27-2019 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pulykamell (Post 21720947)
"Dame Tu Cosita" by El Chombo. Apparently, this came out in the late 90s, but was resurrected by some minion of Satan last year. It only barely broke the Top 40 in the US, but it hit #1 on the Latin charts. Drives me up a wall, and I have two kids, ages 5 and 3, who love it.

Here, this will clear that earworm.

I feel like a kid hipster because I've been hating Baby Shark for like 2 solid years before it became a meme and everybody learned about it.

xizor 06-27-2019 02:58 PM

I don't know the name of the song, but there is something by Mariah Carey where she starts screeching in the middle of the song trying to get as high pitched as possible, perhaps to break a wine glass.

robby 06-27-2019 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas (Post 21720828)
...Second in line is Air Supply's "I'm All Out of Love."

Thanks a lot. Now I can't get this stupid song out of my head. :(

WildaBeast 06-27-2019 03:11 PM

A pair of 1990s pop songs: "Short Short Man" and "Mr. Personality" by Gillette (the singer, not the razor company). Apparently "Short Short Man" was just the toned down radio version; I just learned the original version was "Short Dick Man." I realize now that these songs were intended as satirical responses to all the misogynistic rap songs out there, but I didn't get that at the time. Regardless, they're both repetitive and annoying.

Dallas Jones 06-27-2019 03:25 PM

"I'm Not Lisa"

Lyrics

I'm not Lisa, my name is Julie
Lisa left you years ago
My eyes are not blue
But mine won't leave you…


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVs-d4eBq9k

ekedolphin 06-27-2019 03:30 PM

"(What a) Wonderful World" by Sam Cooke, not to be confused with the terrific "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong. No, I mean the one that goes, "Don't know much about history", etc.

Unfortunately, the local McDonald's has this and, like, six other songs on continuous loop in their dining room.

manson1972 06-27-2019 03:38 PM

That song that goes "One eight seven seven Kars for Kids..."

Aspenglow 06-27-2019 03:44 PM

[QUOTE=pulykamell;21721031]I actually love that song!. <snip>/QUOTE]

Of course you do. :)

Aspenglow 06-27-2019 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by campp (Post 21721259)
The very first song I actively hated. I felt bad about not liking it. But, it sucked! As it turned out, I was right all those years ago.

Yes, you were!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZonexandScout (Post 21721287)
I really don't mean to hijack, but I have to mention something about "Sugar, Sugar."

My wife and I just attended a performance of The Turtles' "Happy Together" tour. (They do one every year, with a variety of old acts.) Mark Volman was performing as part of the last act, but his partner was definitely not Howard "Howie" Kaylan. This other guy did a great job, even if I had no idea who he was. Mark finally introduced him...it was Ron Dante! You probably have to be from that era to understand who Dante is, but the main thing he is remembered for is being The Archies.

TL;DR: We got to hear The Archies sing "Sugar, Sugar" two weeks ago.

I would have loved to attend a performance of The Turtles' "Happy Together" tour! But the instant I heard that idiotic "Sugar Sugar" opening, I'd have fled the room, screaming with my fingers in my ears. Ugh!

Procrustus 06-27-2019 03:55 PM

The worst song ever to hit the radio repeats this about 80 times (and does nothing else)

Quote:

Right about now
The funk soul brother
Check it out now
The funk soul brother

Biotop 06-27-2019 04:02 PM

The Best Day of My life by American Authors

Need You Now by Lady Antebellum

Million Reasons by Lady Gaga

Steve McQwark 06-27-2019 04:08 PM

"You Light Up My Life" by Debbie Boone.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Infovore (Post 21720971)
"Havin' My Baby" by Mac Davis.

I have it on good authority from Dr. Johnny Fever that this song was done by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

thelurkinghorror 06-27-2019 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by manson1972 (Post 21721464)
That song that goes "One eight seven seven Kars for Kids..."

As if you needed more reasons to hate it, it's kind of a scam. It goes to a Jewish nonprofit which has a high overhead and invested in a Ponzi scheme. But disclose none of that.

Treppenwitz 06-27-2019 04:39 PM

Re: Sugar, sugar, by The Archies

Quote:

Originally Posted by campp (Post 21721259)
The very first song I actively hated. I felt bad about not liking it. But, it sucked! As it turned out, I was right all those years ago.

This cannot pass uncorrected. May I refer you to Post #15, where our colleague pulykamell noted:

Quote:

Perfect piece of bubblegum pop.
Exactly.

j

Grestarian 06-27-2019 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xizor (Post 21721381)
I don't know the name of the song, but there is something by Mariah Carey where she starts screeching in the middle of the song trying to get as high pitched as possible, perhaps to break a wine glass.

Are you talking about ...well...90% of her catalogue because that's just her vocal range or are you talking about that disgusting let's show the world I'm (not) just as good as Olivia Newton-John and remake her "Loving You" and butcher the signature aria?

Quote:

Originally Posted by CookingWithGas (Post 21721017)
...Muskrat Love, the Captain and Tennille ...

The scary thing is that their version is the up-beat remake of America's tune -- it's even on their Greatest Hits album. The original practically sounds like a dirge!


I'll nominate Anything by Nirvana and quote my guitar teacher who answered a fellow student, "What's wrong with them? Seriously? Aside from the fact that they don't understand chord structure, play the wrong chord shapes just because they think it's cool, and can't carry a tune atop their background noise, the stuff they sing about is depressing as hell -- it's like they want to commit suicide and have the audience join in for a major bloodbath!"

Weeks later, Cobain was dead...


Quote:

Originally Posted by RobDog (Post 21720860)
Bryan Adams - (Everything I Do) I Do It For You

That was the song behind the credits on Costner's Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. It summed up the [end of the] movie quite well. Adams was hot in Hollywood around that time. The one that eclipsed this one was A Night In Heaven which also played at the theater where I worked. It's a rather sick movie and I had to hear that song three times a night for several weeks.

--G!

pulykamell 06-27-2019 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WOOKINPANUB (Post 21721329)
DING. DING. DING.

Winner winner, lame ass dinner! The "some reason" is the shitty, lackluster "melody", the inane lyrics and the soulless singer's grating, unhip, moronic voice. GRRRRRRRR.

Phew! I feel so much better now :p

I actually was called a few years ago as a referral to photograph a house party here in the Chicago suburbs. I gave my standard (competitive) rate, and the person hosting the party tried to get me to lower my rate because the singer of the Plain White T's would be performing there. I was this tempted to quote an even higher rate. Needless to say, I did not do that job.

gkster 06-27-2019 04:54 PM

"My Way"
"Christmas Shoes" - thank goodness that one gets airplay only a few months a year

pulykamell 06-27-2019 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thelurkinghorror (Post 21721572)
As if you needed more reasons to hate it, it's kind of a scam. It goes to a Jewish nonprofit which has a high overhead and invested in a Ponzi scheme. But disclose none of that.

Found that out a few years ago, and, man, as much as I hated that commercial, I hated it even more knowing the charity is for a specific religious subset of people, and that it is not disclosed or even hinted at in any of their commercials. (That info is on their webpage if you look deep enough. From the website: "Your donation will benefit Kars4Kids, a national organization dedicated to addressing the educational, material, emotional and spiritual needs of Jewish children and their families." That's all fine and dandy, but please disclose that upfront. I'd be just as irked to find out a charity I'm donating to that I think is helping all kids is only helping Christian children and their families. But that's another thread.)

Procrustus 06-27-2019 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thelurkinghorror (Post 21721572)
As if you needed more reasons to hate it, it's kind of a scam. It goes to a Jewish nonprofit which has a high overhead and invested in a Ponzi scheme. But disclose none of that.

Yeah. Kind of

Quote:

$34.7 million and expenses of $30.8 million

Saintly Loser 06-27-2019 05:03 PM

I've got a few.

First and foremost, that horrible "Let It Go" song from that equally horrible movie. Somehow my daughter (then four) got to see this movie, despite my ban on Disney princess movies. I guess she saw it at a friend's house or something. Anyway, she loves the song. I don't.

And after that, the absolute worst song ever written, "Sometimes When We Touch," by Dan Hill.

Malleus, Incus, Stapes! 06-27-2019 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pulykamell (Post 21720947)
"
Also, "Hey There Deliliah" by the Plain White T's makes me uncharacteristically stabby for some reason. Luckily, the popularity of that one has waned quite a bit.

Yass. This one.

Malleus, Incus, Stapes! 06-27-2019 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by manson1972 (Post 21721464)
That song that goes "One eight seven seven Kars for Kids..."

*spontaneously combusts*

manson1972 06-27-2019 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thelurkinghorror (Post 21721572)
As if you needed more reasons to hate it, it's kind of a scam. It goes to a Jewish nonprofit which has a high overhead and invested in a Ponzi scheme. But disclose none of that.

I know, I don't donate any money to it. I mean, cars for kids? They can't even drive!


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