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Senegoid 05-12-2016 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urbanredneck (Post 19326275)
Another gripe - calibration. We calibrate the parcel sorting machine by running these boxes thru and see if it hits the system correctly and goes to the proper bins, but the thing is, we run tons of things besides boxes (bags, stacks of magazines, odd shaped parcels) and those might or might not sort correctly so I'm always pulling jams out of it. So I wonder why when we do the calibration we calibrate for something other than the optimal package?

And all cows are spherical.

kaylasdad99 05-12-2016 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urbanredneck (Post 19326270)
We have a million dollar piece of parcel sorting equipment and it bugs the hell out of me how problems with just some small part can bring the whole thing down.

Like we have had problems with this one drive roller for the past several days and no matter how we tighter or loosen it, it still locks up. So we finally took it all apart and found out it was a faulty drive motor. We replaced it with a new one and then found out that one was also bad.

The people in charge better damn well be on the ass of the parts supplier about this to the level they bitch at us for crap like bad clock rings.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urbanredneck (Post 19326275)
Another gripe - calibration. We calibrate the parcel sorting machine by running these boxes thru and see if it hits the system correctly and goes to the proper bins, but the thing is, we run tons of things besides boxes (bags, stacks of magazines, odd shaped parcels) and those might or might not sort correctly so I'm always pulling jams out of it. So I wonder why when we do the calibration we calibrate for something other than the optimal package?

USPS?

APBS (formerly SPBS)?

kaylasdad99 05-12-2016 04:41 PM

Changed my mind.

APPS?

dropzone 05-12-2016 11:03 PM

I'm too fucking tired to remember what I wanted to complain about, except I have better than a week of it--AT LEAST--ahead of me.

Kids, a bit of advice regarding your future: NEVER become a valuable employee.

Miller 05-12-2016 11:13 PM

This week, I found a Y2K bug in code written in 2015.

aruvqan 05-13-2016 08:12 AM

I want to dig my brother up, raise him and kill him again. I have so damned much paperwork all I have been doing since his funeral is dealing with lawyers, accountants and assorted vultures who want me to donate money or stuff. I will decide whom I want to donate his clothing to [a good suit, going to a Vet outreach group that helps homeless vets, it will be good for job interviews] excess furniture and electronics [moderately good laptops, newish tablets, 5 kindles [!] and such] so stop pushing me, I can always get a C&D dumpster and toss it all.

And I still am dealing with the insurance company and town over the burnt down house and all the paperwork associated with that. I feel like emptying out the damned barn, bulldozing it flat, taking the money to replace the structure to pay off the mortgage and leaving for California [or maybe Costa Rica...] Fuck the town planning commission sideways with a chainsaw.

Calatin 05-13-2016 12:08 PM

Caught in the middle of a passive-aggressive fight between an employee and an independent contractor.

Independent contractor is a grandmother who prefers to communicate via text, versus e-mail, so any time I have work for her, I have to text her, which ends up being a long, drawn-out conversation about the details of her personal life.

She constantly makes digs about the work done by my co-worker - claiming he isn't doing things properly, and (for a "small" fee) she'd be happy to train him so that he can benefit from her decades of experience. Meanwhile, she misspells words frequently, and more often that not, we have to edit her work.

When co-worker e-mailed her about some legitimate questions on her latest project, she completely ignored them, opting instead to criticize him. As much as I dread all the red tape associated with it, it looks like it is time to find her replacement.

Urbanredneck 05-13-2016 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaylasdad99 (Post 19326567)
USPS?

APBS (formerly SPBS)?

I'm not supposed to actually say.

Anther gripe. On the old systems they had ladder diagrams an schematics in the doors of the control cabinets. These new ones dont and you have to go searching for them.

dropzone 05-13-2016 11:29 PM

I used to draw ladder diagrams, in ink, on vellum. Very tactile. Things of beauty. Had a lovely dream about it the other night, which shows how grindingly boring my present job is.

kaylasdad99 05-14-2016 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaylasdad99 (Post 19326567)
USPS?

APBS (formerly SPBS)?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urbanredneck (Post 19329085)
I'm not supposed to actually say.

That's ominous.

I've never made any secret of the fact that I work for the Postal Service (nor have I been discouraged from revealing it).

But I can't think of any private sector company sorting these things (particularly stacks of magazines).

dropzone 05-14-2016 08:39 PM

I just told you that a breach at that online pyramid scheme home business netted the criminals your Social Security number and your password for the site. We are trying to help you protect your identity from Russian mobsters and North Korean hackers, so why on Earth would you set up your account with us USING THE SAME DAMNED PASSWORD?

Nava 05-17-2016 04:14 AM

Apparently Saturday and Sunday are slow days for my company's internal help desk (makes sense). So, someone gets around to your ticket on such a day, and they decide they need more information. They always decide they need more information, even if the information they ask for happens to be in the description or, occasionally, both in the description and the title. OK, so what they do is send you a Lync message while you're not logged into Lync. Alternatively (and this one is better, because at least you can see it on Monday), you come back to a string of increasingly exclamation-points-filled email requesting that bit of information, because hey, little details like it being Sunday and it being 3am are irrelevant, right?

I seriously hope we're a bit less bad with our external customers, because this is crap.

Anaamika 05-17-2016 11:22 AM

I got in an argument with my coworker. It was a long time coming. I overheard my boss talking to her about some things that she did that were non-team player like, and as always, my boss was super nice and easy-going. "It's ok! just don't do it again! ok! thank you!" And I figured it was finally time to stand up for myself. So I did so and I tried not to shout and keep my voice down but my coworker started swearing, yelling, more at my boss than me, and then finally stormed out and said she was calling our grandboss and HR.

Great. I even politely suggested to her that the three of us sit down and hash it out, but she is flipping mad.

Some of the points she raises are legitimate. My boss should have been way more proactive about this. And I tried to be as mature as possible.

Aargh.

OffByOne 05-17-2016 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by j666 (Post 19207877)
Has even one of those signs ever worked?

Adults know their supposed to clean up after themselves. If there's a sleaze who won't in the office (and there always is), nothing will change them, including catching them in the act and shaming them.

A savage beat-down might make him/her a little more receptive...

dropzone 05-18-2016 05:54 PM

I am tired of pretending I like you. I had no problems with you until J said, "Google his name and 'conviction.'" She was under thirteen? What sort of creep are you? So that's why you were spending time with co-worker C--you were grooming her daughter, right? And your new girlfriend, with young daughter in tow, just moved in--I guess don't Florida and Illinois share data about people like you or you wouldn't be allowed within 50 yards of her.

Perhaps it's time a little canary sings. I don't like kiddie diddlers, and neither do my birds.

Nava 05-19-2016 03:44 AM

The online risk training I'm taking at work has some ideas which are good. In fact, the whole thing may be magnificent, but
* it's narrated by a voice synthesizer (very comprehensible, but my brain was asleep by the second paragraph),
* while it doesn't quite read from the slides, the script does not provide anything beyond the slides, so giving them to me to read at my own pace would have been quicker,
* there are a lot of sentence fragments,
* and a bunch of unexplained words and acronyms, some of which Uncle Google cannot find (it finds them but not in any context that makes sense).

When your risk training puts people to sleep and is illegible, that's not a risk: it's a problem.

Lightray 05-19-2016 09:41 AM

Our "Safety" dept is working my last nerve. We had an incident where a dumpster box headed for the landfill was found to have had a (chemical) reaction, and when we did the incident investigation I found that they'd mixed a waste stream that's a base and is water-reactive... with wet acid waste. Without checking anything first.

After I repeatedly brought up how stupid this was in the incident investigation, they solved the problem by quietly dropping me from all further correspondence about the incident. Which, of course, involved my products, so that was rather noticeable.

I just found out that yesterday they mixed "something" into a dumpster box filled with water, and "something happened". Did they check beforehand? No. There's supposed to be an incident investigation on this one... I'm thinking I won't be invited.

Jeep's Phoenix 05-19-2016 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nava (Post 19341786)
The online risk training I'm taking at work has some ideas which are good. In fact, the whole thing may be magnificent, but...

That sounds so much like the "online training" we're required to do at work! Do your presentations also force you to complete horrible little drag-n-drop or point-n-click puzzles before you can view the next set of slides?

Jeep's Phoenix 05-19-2016 05:38 PM

And speaking of safety, our safety meeting today was about safe tool usage. The video was fairly decent, going out of its way to show men and women engaging in safe practices with power tools, and only showing close-ups of inappropriate tool usage (such as using a screwdriver as a chisel). The safety guy tried to engage the group in conversation, asking if anyone had ever used tools in an unsafe manner. One lady quietly admitted to using a butter knife as a screwdriver. "Well, that's something most women do anyway!" the safety guy replied. :mad:

dropzone 05-19-2016 06:22 PM

The health tips shown on screens around the office are usually helpful, in a blindingly obvious way, but you sometimes get counter-intuitive tips, like, "It's easy to lose weight if you substitute sugary pop for water." No wonder I'm so fat! I've been doing it wrong for decades!

Chimera 05-24-2016 07:15 AM

When my asshole boss finally retired last fall, after more than six months of medical issues, he was being praised as this great heroic figure, and it made me ill.

But amazing how the worm turns. Every couple of weeks I get a new story from some corner or the other about how he was this Great Colossal Shit not just to me, but in management meetings, and how if he hadn't decided to retired for 'medical reasons', he would have been forced out.

:)

That's a smile of Karma Revealed. Letting my stress and anger at the situation dissolve in knowing I wasn't alone and upper management had huge problems with his attitude toward his own team.

Nava 05-24-2016 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeep's Phoenix (Post 19343629)
That sounds so much like the "online training" we're required to do at work! Do your presentations also force you to complete horrible little drag-n-drop or point-n-click puzzles before you can view the next set of slides?

Not unlike deciphering undefined acronyms and jargon count, but unlike other sets it didn't respond to the "next" button until the synthesized voiceover...
waaaas...
oooooover.

By the halfway point I wanted to kill that synthesizer dead. No. Deader. Once it was well and truly in tiny pieces I would have started with whomever chose such a design.

Nava 05-24-2016 08:36 AM

unless! The first one is "unless", not unlike! I actually can spoik an' rite rite!

Nava 05-24-2016 10:47 AM

I just had to explain to the only guy in our HR department that yes, "two hours without toilets" constitutes enough reason to go home early and work from home when you're a woman over 40 and your manager has authorized it. The alternative toilet being proposed is 1km away, I could maybe reach the trees on the sidewalk in front of our building.

So long as my manager authorizes it, what the hell is it his business if it's because we'll be without toilets or because I'm covering my kitchen in day-glo stickers? And I hope his mother pees on him, he probably did it enough times on her when he was little :mad:

kaylasdad99 05-24-2016 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightray (Post 19342294)
Our "Safety" dept is working my last nerve. We had an incident where a dumpster box headed for the landfill was found to have had a (chemical) reaction, and when we did the incident investigation I found that they'd mixed a waste stream that's a base and is water-reactive... with wet acid waste. Without checking anything first.

After I repeatedly brought up how stupid this was in the incident investigation, they solved the problem by quietly dropping me from all further correspondence about the incident. Which, of course, involved my products, so that was rather noticeable.

I just found out that yesterday they mixed "something" into a dumpster box filled with water, and "something happened". Did they check beforehand? No. There's supposed to be an incident investigation on this one... I'm thinking I won't be invited.

I can send you a couple of dimes if you want to drop them to OSHA and EPA.

kaylasdad99 05-24-2016 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nava (Post 19353574)
Not unlike deciphering undefined acronyms and jargon count, but unlike other sets it didn't respond to the "next" button until the synthesized voiceover...
waaaas...
oooooover.

By the halfway point I wanted to kill that synthesizer dead. No. Deader. Once it was well and truly in tiny pieces I would have started with whomever chose such a design.

Did you not have the option of turning the speakers off (or down to an inaudible level)?

Lightray 05-24-2016 12:58 PM

Travel advisory for upcoming work trip to Singapore, includes such delights as:

"Drinking in public places between 22.30 and 07.00 (local time) is illegal. ‘Liquor Control Zones', such as Little India and Geylang, prohibits public drinking during all weekends and public holidays. Visitors will be fined if this is violated."

"Any gathering of five or more people is prohibited without a permit; as such, demonstrations are rare."

"A far more serious attitude is taken towards the importation of pornographic materials and especially drugs such as heroin, cannabis and morphine. The import or export of these can carry the death penalty."

It's not like I travel carrying porn or heroin, but yikes.

dropzone 05-24-2016 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightray (Post 19354306)
"Drinking in public places between 22.30 and 07.00 (local time) is illegal. ‘Liquor Control Zones', such as Little India and Geylang, prohibits public drinking during all weekends and public holidays. Visitors will be fined if this is violated."

Beats getting caned.

Nava 05-24-2016 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaylasdad99 (Post 19354029)
Did you not have the option of turning the speakers off (or down to an inaudible level)?

Yeah, but that wouldn't have helped with the speed or the jargon. All of these trainings have a voiceover that reads out loud the same stuff that's already on the slides (you know, in case we're illiterate), but in the other ones you could move on at your own speed.


In the TOEFL there is an oral comprehension part. There will be a recording which reads something with the kind of slow, careful overenunciation you do not even find in documentary voiceovers and then a few questions. A couple of times I missed the beginning of the speech simply because there was so much time between them that I was drifting. And at least there, the voice had information different from what was already in front of me.

Senegoid 05-25-2016 01:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dropzone (Post 19343757)
The health tips shown on screens around the office are usually helpful, in a blindingly obvious way, but you sometimes get counter-intuitive tips, like, "It's easy to lose weight if you substitute sugary pop for water." No wonder I'm so fat! I've been doing it wrong for decades!

I've seen this construction many times in many places in many contexts. (Sorry, no examples to cite at my finger tips.) "Substitute X for Y" meaning: Replace all X with Y.

I can't wrap my head around the logic of this construct. "Substitute X for Y" seems to say, to me, replace all Y with X. Out with the Y and in with the X! Yet I see it frequently the other way around.

What is going on with this? How did this ack-bassward locution evolve?

Lightray 05-25-2016 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dropzone (Post 19355348)
Beats getting caned.

I also found out that they don't cane you if you're older than 50. I'm a few years short, but I guess some of my coworkers could chew gum like mofos if they want.

Catamount 05-25-2016 11:57 AM

Co-worker, I have no sympathy for you right now. You got that promotion a month ago. You knew that you had to do the online training for it. Rather than get started on it, do a little each day until it was done, you decided to put it off until the last minute. So please, stop bitching about how much training you have to do all at once before I poleax you.

Catamount 05-26-2016 08:09 AM

Another day, another co-worker rant. Different co-worker this time, but I've probably kvetched about her here before. This is the one who works second shift on Wednesday and first shift on Thursday so she can't come in until an hour after she shift starts in the morning. Well, she can, but right now her family is down to one car so she has to take her husband to work thirty minutes away before she can come in. This has been going on for months and frankly I'm getting sick of it.

Today she's two hours late (and counting) because her dog had to go to the vet. She sounded upset on the phone, so I'm sure it was bad news, but I'm completely out of sympathy for her lateness. Tomorrow I'm going to say something to the AGM when I can get him alone about how ill I'm getting about this chronic not being able to come in on time. Either stop scheduling her for turnarounds or start getting on her case for not coming in on time.

I am also heartily sick of being the only person in my department who can come in and start working at 7. The second part is important because the other person who works with me spends more time wandering over to get coffee and bitch about her on-again-off-again loser girlfriend than logging on to her (notoriously slow) computer so she can get something done. But she's going to another property next week so she won't be my problem anymore.

NVME702-redux 05-26-2016 01:00 PM

Long time Lurker, first time Ranter....

Co worker- in the beginning I used to do your exclusionary searches because I had less than 5 people to process. That was 8 months ago. I now have more new hires then you and another department combined. Stop asking me to help you if you aren't going to help me with my I9 eVerify paperwork. And you coming over during my lunch break- where my Skype CLEARLY says I'm at lunch to ask when I can finish it for you doesn't not make me want to move any faster!

Last- I don't know if it was because she was feeling she was in the company of peers, but our manager decided to not sugar coat that our new CEO (brought on to take us public in the next year or whatever) speaking in general to EVERYONE that if we cant do our jobs, he'll find someone that will. I haven't been that vaguely threatened in my job since I worked in collections as a team manager back in 2004. WTF??!??!?!? :(:(:(

digs 05-26-2016 04:16 PM

Wouldn't it be great if the manager made sure to quote the boss because everyone knows the aforementioned co-worker isn't doing their job?

I had a boss who, when a client said they'd give us their business if I'd be working on their account, said "Oh, he'll be here forever, won't you, digs?" "Uh, sure!" "...unless he says something to piss me off. Then he's out of here in a heartbeat!" Client and I just stared at Clueless Boss (who looked so proud of herself for showing what a badass she was).

Chimera 05-26-2016 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by digs (Post 19360456)
Wouldn't it be great if the manager made sure to quote the boss because everyone knows the aforementioned co-worker isn't doing their job?

I had a boss who, when a client said they'd give us their business if I'd be working on their account, said "Oh, he'll be here forever, won't you, digs?" "Uh, sure!" "...unless he says something to piss me off. Then he's out of here in a heartbeat!" Client and I just stared at Clueless Boss (who looked so proud of herself for showing what a badass she was).

And you didn't reply "Are you fucking stupid?" :)

3trew 05-26-2016 06:52 PM

The account number is 500017100923. That is pronounced "five zero zero zero one seven one zero zero nine two three. It is not pronounced "fifty oh zero seven.......teen a hundredninetytwo three.

dropzone 05-26-2016 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senegoid (Post 19355867)
What is going on with this? How did this ack-bassward locution evolve?

Most people are stupid. Along with, "Consider the source," this has become my mantra.

adhemar 05-27-2016 12:57 PM

I have been at my company for several years, I wrote the procedures for my department, trained multiple people on how to do the different steps involved and along with a coworker and 1 part time person did everything needed out of that office for several years. Co-worker got promoted to supervisor and later that department was put under her umbrella. meanwhile I got promoted to an office position (more big picture stuff). It used to be the policy that at month end it was "all hands on deck", no one was allowed to take off during that week , period. That later changed to "I" was not allowed to take off the last week and could make no plans for that Saturday in case we had to work. I got promoted and haven't had to worry with that for several months. They put 3 full time people in the office to take our places and I have trained and continue to train all of them.

Now one of the people put in the office, didn't work out so she was moved to another position. Another one, just doesn't want to do the work and apparently she always takes off the week after Memorial day (which is our month end) and has announced she is taking off that week. So that leaves 1 person in the office to do the work of 3. So guess who is going back to that office to help out and work all sorts of crazy hours... I have plans already for that Saturday so I don't know what they are going to do about that.

I don't mind helping out but I think this is very poor planning and I am disappointed in the supervisor for allowing people to take off when it is know we will be extra busy. She thinks that that the company shouldn't limit when an employee can take off.

Sailboat 05-27-2016 01:09 PM

Note to writers of memos -- if you need ssomething signed a second time, use a goddamned hypen. Stop sending e-mails with the subject "PLEASE RESIGN."

Lightray 05-27-2016 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sailboat (Post 19362512)
Note to writers of memos -- if you need ssomething signed a second time, use a goddamned hypen. Stop sending e-mails with the subject "PLEASE RESIGN."

*snerk*

Damn. I can't think of anything I need signed so I can "accidentally" do this...

Kimballkid 05-27-2016 02:38 PM

Why is it when people move out of an office, they leave behind a bunch of random crap for the next person to deal with? I think the person that had it before me was a hoarder of sorts. I'm going to have nightmares of binder clips and paper clips tonight.

Chimera 05-27-2016 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kimballkid (Post 19362807)
Why is it when people move out of an office, they leave behind a bunch of random crap for the next person to deal with? I think the person that had it before me was a hoarder of sorts. I'm going to have nightmares of binder clips and paper clips tonight.

Because no one wants to move it or clean it.

Nava 05-28-2016 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chimera (Post 19286886)
Love those. Doesn't anyone actually READ the error message before punting?

This month I got screenshots which included:
"Price missing" (these were very happy when I explained where to write the price; they had understood the price was missing but had no idea where)
"Date missing" (twice, in different languages)
"No specifications available" (three different instances)
And someone who was looking for a lab analysis in the wrong place (stuff is analyzed in the factory that makes it, not in every place where it's ever gone). This one took a bit longer to find out.



I suspect our users have received about as much training as my poodle, and I don't have a poodle.

dropzone 05-28-2016 04:51 PM

The only people worse than users are programmers. Kids, I'm a mere user. However, I started with BASIC before you were born, and have a much better idea of how to code and manage a database THAN IT LOOKS LIKE YOU EVER COULD. This is as basic as hitting the Tab key takes you to the next field, and as complex as, when calling back someone in specific, the contact name is the person we said was the contact, NOT the person who said we should talk to her.

You are fuckheads and an embarrassment to what used to be a trade.

aktep 05-28-2016 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miller (Post 19327404)
This week, I found a Y2K bug in code written in 2015.

We have a vendor for a vendor (for a vendor?) who has a Y2K issue in their software that they refuse to fix. This will cause a usability issue in the new version of our ERP.

Nava 06-06-2016 10:36 AM

Our team manager is one of those people who manage to slow anything down the minute he sticks his hand into it.

A couple of weeks ago, our technical lead was trying to figure out why we had so many overdue tickets, or tickets that had moved back from "ready to close" status to an earlier one. The most common answers turned out to be "Bossman moved it back without any further explanation" and "Bossman assigned it to the person to whom it was already assigned and who had already answered it".

I've been off sick all of last week. He assigned me three tickets, overstepping the roster-based assignments (I'd been taken off the week's roster when I wrote in sick). Once I've been back it's taken me a matter of minutes to answer all three, but thing is, any of my coworkers could have done that last week!

It's bad when there are so many times when the response to "why is this overdue?" turns out to be "bossman." Worse when you're not legally allowed to find a nice, ice-cold river where you can give him a dunk or three.

Spiny Norman 06-06-2016 08:21 PM

Dear new Data Security middle manager...

I know you worked for a bank previously. Everybody, by now, knows you worked for a bank previously. Because you open every third sentence with "The way we did it at the bank..." Guess not, you're not at the bank any more.

And while we'd actually be happy to listen to what the bank taught you about data security, we're not interested in the bank's way of handling project management, or budget management, or documentation standards, or production hand-off methodology, or any other of the myriad of admin tasks surrounding the actual data security work your team is supposed to be doing. (A team, I might add, that I'm not on, I do networks, and that means that while you're a manager, you're not my manager.)

You have left the bank. We are not a bank. And if you say bank one more time, I will not be held responsible.

Roderick Femm 06-06-2016 10:14 PM

We used to occasionally hire managers who had worked at a competitor (because we were doing better than they were, so we were paying more), and we'd still hear about "how we did it" at the competitor. I used to give them three of those before I told them, politely, that if all they knew was what they used to do at the failing competitor, then I wasn't sure what they actually brought to the table for our company.

Calatin 06-08-2016 10:19 AM

I completely understand that it's a mere drop in the bucket in the grand scheme of things, but when I think of a way to save you $3,000+ (despite everyone saying that it won't work), is it *that* unreasonable to expect some sort of thanks, or even a mere acknowledgement?


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