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CandidGamera 05-11-2017 06:43 PM

The Ultimate MST3K Thread, Part 2
I don't want to overtax the hamsters, so I will not be appending the original - started in 2005, most recently updated in 2011. MST3K came back, and I will be reviewing the new Netflix episodes for you. More general discussion is welcome, but we already have a solid thread for that over here.

I will be watching Reptilicus on Saturday, to put up the first new review. Host Segment descriptions, movie descriptions, and selected choice riffs from the episode.

In the meantime, did you know that as a part of the Kickstarter stuff, Joel located and released one of the lost KTMA episodes? K02. Revenge of the Mysterons from Mars, was made available to backers through Vimeo! I haven't checked it out yet, but I am always pleased to see something thought lost found again.

Mahaloth 05-11-2017 06:49 PM

I can't wait for you to watch Cry Wilderness.

CandidGamera 05-11-2017 07:48 PM


Originally Posted by Mahaloth (Post 20200881)
I can't wait for you to watch Cry Wilderness.

I have seen them all at least once, so... I know the pain. :)

ShadowFacts 05-11-2017 07:49 PM

[Mr. Burns] Excellent. [/Mr. Burns]

Mahaloth 05-11-2017 08:47 PM


Originally Posted by CandidGamera (Post 20200986)
I have seen them all at least once, so... I know the pain. :)

Ah, I missed that you have already seen them. Good luck on the re-watch and I will enjoy the reviews as I did back in 2005-2011 times.

CandidGamera 05-15-2017 10:32 AM

11.1 - Reptilicus
I'm going to include some general thoughts about the reboot as I do these reviews, and a lot of them will be in this post.

Film : Reptilicus (1961)
Episode : 198 (counting the MST3K Movie)
Secret Number : 016 (hidden in Jonah's ship in the credits)

Film Synopsis : Danish miners drill into a preserved giant reptile frozen beneath the ground. Thanks to top University scholars, predictable mistakes ensue allowing the specimen to thaw, and regenerate into a giant spongy puppet (or "dinosaur"). While the puppet smashes its way through anything the military can throw at it, we're supposed to care about some gruff military asshole who falls in love with one of the two nearly indistinguishable blonde women in the movie. I think it's Not-Ellie Mae.

Series and Episode Thoughts : Whoa, it's back! Nearly twenty years, and it's back! Let's start with the good stuff - the set design, the music, the model work. MST3K has returned and has been upgraded. The production is pretty slick. Jonah Ray (as Jonah Heston) is an amiable guy, more in the tradition of Joel than Mike. The new theme and opening is great. I also like the little vestigial commercial bumps where Max talks about the movie. The new cast is more or less fantastic.

I do have a couple of criticisms. I am mildly annoyed by Tom Servo's new voice. (Not really worthy of mailing him a banner, but..) His vocal range is too similar to Jonah's - his default Tom voice is okay, but when either of them start talking as one of the movie characters, it's impossible, but for the Netflix subtitles, to tell which one of them it is. (That's another great thing! Netflix subtitles!)

Also, the slickness of the production undercuts the old home-made vibe a little. They no longer do the Shadowramma process in the theater, they actually record the riffs in a sound booth. The theater silhouettes are recorded separately, so they can include the .. sigh.. animations of Tom flying around that they will overuse extensively in future episodes.

And the recording process seems to have changed in a couple of important ways - I don't feel like the Mads and Jonah are really going back and forth. I'm sure Patton and Felicia have tough schedules to work around, but it just doesn't have quite the same flow. I don't know if it's the sets (which look great) or the camera angle, but honestly, it feels like the sets are green-screened most of the time.

The riffs are a little bit feast or famine in this one - long quiet stretches, followed by a flurry of riffs that don't allowed time for previous jokes to land. Their pacing improves considerably with the next few episodes, though.

Important Stuff : This episode gives us the extended opening sequence with a bit of Jonah's backstory. Guest-starring Wil Wheaton and Erin Grey.

Host Segment 1 : Jonah has been on the SOL for two months, he's made some updates to Gypsy and Tom Servo, but Crow is perfect just the way he is.

Invention Exchange : Jonah has a bubble fan. The Mads have nothing.

Host Segment 2 : Every Country Has a Monster - the best musical number on the series to date. Written by Paul and Storm.

HS 3 : Crow grows extra Servos by cloning material in Servo's arm.

HS 4 : Letters! We won't see too many letters segments in the reboot.

HS 5 : Gypsy smashes model Copenhagen. Max and Kinga nod to the fact they are appearing on Netflix.

Memorable Riffs :

The new crew does a lot of singing riffs, and seems to go out of their way to have at least one classic riff callback per episode. And in this episode, they do both at the same time. There's also a nod to the Church of the Subgenius that made me laugh, but I didn't get it fully copied down.

The Gang (singing) : "Wonderful, wonderful Super Dragon." [Secret Agent Super Dragon callback - 'Wonderful, Wonderful Copenhagen..']

Gypsy : "Now you're Mister Filing Cabinet!"

Tom : "Even Denmark has an Andy Griffith."

Crow : "Did that lightning knock the film out of focus?"

Crow : "Brigadier General Military-Industrial Complex, this is Miss Doctor Woman."

Jonah : "Fire in an aquarium? Well, that'll sort itself out."

Tom (?): "Diarrhea is like a storm, raging inside you.." [Classic repeated riff]

Crow : "There's your problem, he's in a different movie. You're never going to hit him."

Kickstarter Backers : The list for this episode goes from A to 'Barbie', alphabetical by first name.

Stinger : Danish doof Dirch Passer goofs on the electric eel tank.

CandidGamera 05-15-2017 10:40 AM

Was gonna go back and selectively bold some text to improve readability, but I missed the window. Damn.

Maus Magill 05-15-2017 03:19 PM


psiekier 05-16-2017 08:54 AM

We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese!

CandidGamera 05-22-2017 10:14 AM

11.2 - Cry Wilderness
Film : Cry Wilderness
Episode : 199 (counting the MST3K Movie)
Secret Number : 014

Film Synopsis : Magic Bigfoot warns precocious child about danger to his father, a park ranger, then proceeds to cause said danger with his very presence. Featuring stock footage, a hilariously villainous 'big game hunter', and two young raccoons who do NOT want to be in this movie.

Series and Episode Thoughts : Now they're starting to fire on all cylinders, and what better way to open up than with a spiritual cousin to Pod People? This episode gives us our first use of the 'bubble splice' technique of the new show, so they can glue together two different takes and speed production and it's.. fine.

Important Stuff : We establish that Jonah has to act out the opening each time, because Kinga's liquid video technology is terrible at recording. And we get a visit from Pearl, Brain Guy, and Bobo! What the hell happened to Bobo's mask - as improved as every other aspect of this production is, it looks like they could not afford to spend an extra few bucks to get a decent Bobo head. After the visit, Kinga laments that it's hard to connect this season to last season, and she should have rebooted - meta!

HS 1 : Crow finally gets to use his netting for its intended purpose.

Invention Exchange : Jonah presents the Turkey Theremin; Kinga presents the Carvel Clock.

HS 2 : The Bots appears as raccoons wrecking cereal boxes as Jonah looks on and laughs - then they start to escalate the hijinks.

HS 3 : Woodcut models help Jonah explain the implausible world where this film got made.

HS 4 : Pearl and the gang visit; we learn Synthia (who does look eerily like a young Pearl) is a clone she left to assist Kinga.

HS 5 : Max sings a few more verses of the bleak song at the end of the movie - the Bots try to trick him into sending up the keys to Jonah's backjack spaceship.

Memorable Riffs :

(at the title)
Crow : "Well, if you insist.."
All (whining) : "Wiiiildernessss!"

Jonah (as Bigfoot) : "I've shouted at three different Boy's Schools, is this the right Paul?"

Jonah : "This is like Ice Road Truckers, but less staged."

Crow : "You can't spell 'Dad' without ADD.."

Tom : "Rob Riggle's little brother is right, let the kid stay!"

Tom : "Hey, gold struck him, it's a switcheroo!"

Tom (as the father) : "Son, it might be the brain injury talking, but I submarine lightbulb."

Good running gags with the stock footage animals talking to Paul, and the repeated 'Bang!' riff. Nice riff callbacks with "Rowsdower!" and "You look at them, I'm bitter."

Kickstarter Backers : Takes us up to 'Carrie', alphabetical by first name.

Stinger : The big game hunter chews the scenery, and some pile of miscellaneous meat.

Going to try to do about one of these a week!

CandidGamera 05-30-2017 09:42 AM

11.3 - The Time Travelers
Film : The Time Travelers
Episode : 200 (counting the MST3K Movie)
Secret Number : 016

Film Synopsis : Three scientists and a janitor are thrust into a post-apocalyptic future after their experiment makes a better time-door than a time-window. Freaky future humanity has really odd taste in androids and is planning to abandon Earth, but their plan goes up in smoke and they're forced to use a reconstructed time portal to escape with our protagonists, even further into the future.

Series and Episode Thoughts : There are a few series of riffs that feel rushed, but the pacing is better. I am enjoying Kinga's refrain, "the nightmare-fueled world of ..." This episode has an appropriate amount of screen interaction gags, I believe. Crow and Tom retain their fascination for human female flesh, and it's pretty funny.

Important Stuff : In the closing host segment, Kinga acknowledges the show's 200th episode.

HS 1 : Jonah and the Bots play 'Never Did I Ever'. The Bots win.

Invention Exchange : Crow invents Edible Silica Packets; Kinga and Max present Afterlife Alert.

HS 2 : Gypsy conducts a time portal safety drill. Crow seems on-board, right up until he goes Hitler-hunting on his dinosaur.

HS 3 : Jonah presents some new Bots .. who are just decoys to let Tom and Crow work out their frustrations.

HS 4 : A visit from Dr. Varno and Larry, from the movie - played by the new head writer, and Joel.

HS 5 : Crow and Tom interact with their frozen past selves, timelines out of synch. Tom, predictably, kisses himself, while Crow beats himself up.

Memorable Riffs :

Gypsy : "Rip Torn IS Dr. Strange!"

Jonah : "The beats are too sick! You gotta bring in the drop!"

Jonah : "I refuse to believe the future is in SD."

Tom : "When did this change from a movie to a training video for a job that doesn't exist?"

FutureLady : "What do you think of our Lumichord?"
Crow (as Danny) : "It Stinks!" - Classic Riff. Though they missed a golden opportunity for an "I thought you were Dale!" a few minutes later.

Jonah : "I WILL kill him!" - Classic Riff.

Crow : "Wait, did the movie just lap itself?"

Kickstarter Backers : Up to Dan Peterson.

Stinger : Danny the Janitor enjoys a Lumichord performance.

Knowed Out 05-30-2017 02:48 PM

I totally forgot Return of MST3K was on Netflix and came across it by accident. By chance, I watched the 1st three eps, as outlined here. Thanks for pointing out the Joel Hodgson cameos. I couldn't tell when he actually appeared. Who's Ardy?

I like the new show, and didn't expect it to reproduce the old cast, so the new voices for the robots don't bother me. They're still just as caustic and irreverent as ever. Tom Servo can now fly up to parts of the screen for interactive purposes, like the way he helped straighten out the Time Traveler colony ship. Jonah has the same spirit as his predecessors, and if anything he's more enthusiastic about his role. I liked the diagrams and standups he used, especially for the Reptilicus rap, as well as the map that explained how the cast managed to jump from scene to scene so quickly.

Good to see Patton Oswalt as Max, TV's son of TV's Frank, even if he does somehow manage to guest star in every show possible. I thought the new Evil Dr. Forrester was kind of weak, but I'm willing to cut her some slack. Mary Jo Pehl has some big stiletto boots to fill.

Malleus, Incus, Stapes! 05-30-2017 02:52 PM


Originally Posted by Knowed Out (Post 20242262)
Who's Ardy?

According to TV Tropes, he's Mike Nelson.

Channing Idaho Banks 05-30-2017 03:37 PM

There is a tour planned for this summer so I will report back with my review in a few weeks.

CandidGamera 05-31-2017 08:11 AM


Originally Posted by Malleus, Incus, Stapes! (Post 20242268)
According to TV Tropes, he's Mike Nelson.

Ardy is played by Joel Hodgson - if he has a secret identity, we haven't been treated to it yet. :) Ardy is the maintenance guy who says 'Movie in the hole!'

Malleus, Incus, Stapes! 06-01-2017 09:19 PM

My bad. I remembered it was one of the previous riffers, anyway.

Mahaloth 06-01-2017 09:28 PM

What are bubble edits? Anyone have a clip?

CandidGamera 06-02-2017 08:01 AM


Originally Posted by Mahaloth (Post 20247730)
What are bubble edits? Anyone have a clip?

The new MST is said to be working on a pretty tight shootingschedule that doesn't allow for as many re-shoots as it used to. Using the excuse of Kinga's 'liquid video' technology as a fig leaf, sometimes you will see a stream of rising bubbles momentarily obscure the screen .. where they hide a splice from two different takes. It only happens during the host segments, as far as I recall.

Not aware of any clips of this on YouTube yet, but if you have Netflix..

Mahaloth 06-02-2017 08:13 AM


Originally Posted by CandidGamera (Post 20248304)
The new MST is said to be working on a pretty tight shootingschedule that doesn't allow for as many re-shoots as it used to. Using the excuse of Kinga's 'liquid video' technology as a fig leaf, sometimes you will see a stream of rising bubbles momentarily obscure the screen .. where they hide a splice from two different takes. It only happens during the host segments, as far as I recall.

Not aware of any clips of this on YouTube yet, but if you have Netflix..

I do have it and I must be the densest person as I did not notice these edits.

Huh. Whatever it takes to get it on TV.

Have we heard anything about a renewal for another season next year?

CandidGamera 06-05-2017 07:53 AM


Originally Posted by Mahaloth (Post 20248324)
I do have it and I must be the densest person as I did not notice these edits.

Huh. Whatever it takes to get it on TV.

Have we heard anything about a renewal for another season next year?

Nothing official, as far as I am aware, though Netflix does seem to be doing several promos involving Crow and Tom..

CandidGamera 06-05-2017 11:56 AM

11.4 - Avalanche
Film : Avalanche
Episode : 201 (counting the MST3K Movie)
Secret Number : 012

Film Synopsis : Rock Hudson is a resort developer trying to reconcile with his ex-wife, Mia Farrow, and the mountainside of snow above them collapses under the weight of their leaden acting. One of the dullest selections of the new season.

Series and Episode Thoughts : This is a bad episode for Tom sounding like Jonah. They don't overdo the silhouette gags, and they creatively cover the bit of nudity in the film using one of them. It's a damn boring movie, but the riffers do a good job. (Seriously, who paid to sit through this in the 70's?) Note : produced by Roger Corman! The fact goes unnoticed.

Important Stuff : Max gets to do the 'nightmare fueled world' line. Ardy gets a few lines and drops some hints about what I assume is meta-plot to come. The Kinga video fluid process is described as lower-res than Standard Definition.

HS 1 : Crow and Tom are workshopping 'Mad Bots'; Kinga gets a call from Ardy in Moon 14, talking about 'downright supernatural manifestations'.

Invention Exchange : Jonah presents the mouth vacuum; Kinga and Max show off the Don LaFont-aine 3000, turning phrases into movie fonts. Once again, the Mads' part features some bubble splicing. (I wonder who keeps flubbing - Patton, or Felicia?)

HS 2 : The Bots admire Rock Hudson's predatory technique for getting the ladies, Jonah explains why it's bad.

HS 3 : Kinga's long distance cyber-boyfriend, a magician called Neville, visits and they chat - but not in person. It's Neil Patrick Harris, making for a nice Dr. Horrible reunion, as they serenade each other, and even Max joins in.

HS 4 : Jonah and the Bots attempt to exhaust the list of hybrid B-Movie titles (a la 'Sharknado') to curtail future filmmakers.

HS 5 : Gypsy puts on a little nightclub show, based on Rock Hudson's mother from the movie. Except for the strange puppet body hanging off of Gypsy for the segment, there's nothing here of interest. Worst host segment so far, and what the hell is Jonah doing with his hands the whole time?

Memorable Riffs :

There's a lot of good stuff here, and a lot of callbacks - both to the old show, and to the previous movie, Time Travelers, since our lunkheaded janitor now plays a bookkeeper named McDade.

(reacting to the title)
Tom : "Spoiler, geez."

Jonah : "I'm not forgetting you, Danny from the last movie."

Crow : "Diarrhea is like a storm, raging inside you." (classic riff)

Crow (?) : "Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! .." honestly not sure which riffer said it, but the Flanders impression is good.

Crow : "Amazing how she can turn into a mist, just like a vampire, or Gwyneth Paltrow."

Tom : "We wanna hear California Lady!" (callback)

Jonah : "Is everything brown, or do I have retina damage?"

Crow : "It really says something that this avalanche has more emotional range than Mia Farrow."

Jonah : "Joe Don Baker?"

Crow : "Looks like I'm your dad now, how does the name Ryan strike you?"

(yellow 'siren' light on an emergency vehicle)
Jonah : "Oh, it's commercial sign!"
(cut to one of the Moon 13 not-commercials)

Tom : "When rock beats Rock, everyone wins."

Crow : "You look at it, I'm bitter." (classic riff)

And at the end, a lightning series of Trip Advisor review gags for the ruined resort that are all fantastic, and just keep getting funnier as they go.

Kickstarter Backers : Up to 'El Spectre'.

Stinger : Emergency vehicles smash the town on the way to the avalanche.

CandidGamera 06-13-2017 08:20 PM

11.5 - The Beast of Hollow Mountain
Film : The Beast of Hollow Mountain
Episode : 202 (counting the MST3K Movie)
Secret Number : 014

Film Synopsis : American rancher in Mexico is detested by his romantic rival. Really typical Western up until the last fifteen minutes, when an allosaurus in stop-motion tramples through the film.

Series and Episode Thoughts : Way too many sing-song gags that just don't scan. It's not a bad episode, but they were filmed out of airing order, and I'm going to guess this one was early in the rotation - the riffs in the first half of the movie often have the rushed quality seen in Reptilicus. There are also more classic riff recycles than in any of the other episodes that I recall - leaning more heavily on the old series stuff.

Important Stuff : I believe this has the debut of Crow's killer Morgan Freeman impression. It's really good.

HS 1 : Art day on the SOL. Tom's optic sensors are off, and Crow may by ready to enroll in art school.

Invention Exchange : Jonah presents the Disco Cannon; Kinga presents.. hot water? The gag is that the Titanic could have melted the iceberg with it, but she never names the invention.

HS 2 : The Bots brainstorm their own monster movies - Tom's is so depressing, Jonah begs for movie sign. Bubble Edit near the end.

HS 3 : The Beast of Hollow Mountain fashion line.

HS 4 : The Bots (or maybe not?) re-enact the weird festival from the movie, freaking out all the humans. ("Who must we kill to slake thy anger??" cries Max.)

HS 5 : Any movie is better with people eaten by dinosaurs - like My Dinner With Andre.

Memorable Riffs :

Tom : "That's impersonal, name your newborn son 'Guy'."

Jonah : "Establishing shot : The Motion Picture!"

Jonah : "Jim Henson's Magnum P.I. Babies!" (Classic riff form.)

Tom : "Watch out for snakes!" (Classic Riff)

Crow : "Mexican Walt Disney is pissed!"

Jonah : "I came here to kick butt and chew bubblegum, and bubblegum hasn't been invented yet."

Jonah : "Gymkata!" (Classic riff)

Tom : "Horatio Sanz IS The Fugitive!" (Classic Riff form)

Crow : "Was Pancho really worth four wet socks?"

Crow : "Now to hot-wire this horse!"

Tom (singing, a la the MST theme) : "But the cowboy didn't like him so he shot him in the face!"
Crow : "Meta!"

Crow : "Steve Pre-Prefontaine." (Classic riff)

Jonah : "Slowly, I turned - step by step, inch by inch." (Classic riff, and very old joke.)

Tom : "This is where the fish lives." (Classic riff.)

Kickstarter Backers : Up to 'Hundy Gunderson'.

Stinger : Poking the dino with a stick.

CandidGamera 06-21-2017 11:48 AM

On vacation this week, will resume the reviews next week!

Mahaloth 06-21-2017 12:26 PM


Originally Posted by CandidGamera (Post 20294311)
On vacation this week, will resume the reviews next week!

Having seen them all, which episode of the new season was your favorite? I liked Cry Wilderness.

CandidGamera 06-25-2017 02:03 PM


Originally Posted by Mahaloth (Post 20294468)
Having seen them all, which episode of the new season was your favorite? I liked Cry Wilderness.

I really like the scifi ridiculousness of Starcrash, with or without riffing. Wizards of the Lost Kingdom brought back fond memories of my favorite classic episode, Deathstalker.. it's a toss-up between those two right now.

CandidGamera 06-28-2017 08:34 AM

11.6 - Starcrash
Film : Starcrash
Episode : 203 (counting the MST3K Movie)
Secret Number : 012

Film Synopsis : The riffs say it better than I could : A community-theater production of Guardians of the Galaxy. Caroline Munro stars as a space pirate recruited for a dangerous mission to foil the evil plans of Darth Arn .. Zarth Vader.. er, Count Zarth Arn.

Series and Episode Thoughts : There's some good stuff here, and this is one of my favorites of the new season. There's a solid 'Get in my UFO' song that feels like it should have been a host segment, performed in the theater. (Written by Paul and Storm). I am getting a little tired of everyone's Andrew Dice Clay impressions, but Crow's great Morgan Freeman makes another appearance. Tom and Crow's hots for the oversized stop-motion fem-bot is pretty darn entertaining.

Important Stuff : During the invention exchange, the video from Moon 13 glitches and drops, prompting Max to put up the Kinga-Chrome 'technical difficulties' card. Also : Jerry Freakin' Seinfeld. Easily the biggest celebrity cameo the show has ever seen - until later this season.

HS 1 : Jonah and the Bots play Spin the Bottle.

Invention Exchange : Max models the 'Band-Eat-O', an expansion of the salsa sombrero; Jonah shows off the BB-Servo, briefly, before an offscreen visit by Disney's attorneys force Tom Servo to revert to his lovable fireplug self.

HS 2 : Crow's got a new screenplay, based on this movie and characters from Candyland : World War Space.

HS 3 : Jonah plays the role of Akton, who basks in the Bots' admiration before revealing even HE doesn't understand what his powers are supposed to be.

HS 4 : Jonah toys with giving Tom eyes, as Kinga and Max try to impress the galactic investor, Freak Masterstroke, played by Jerry Seinfeld.

HS 5 : The torpedo sketch, ladies and gentlemen! Jonah laughs as Count Zarth as Tom and Crow (and Tom and Crow) mock the chaos from the movie's climactic battle scene.

Memorable Riffs :

Crow : "Starcrash positions, everyone!"

Tom : "Augh, Space is so LOUD!"

Crow : "You go for hyperspace, I'm bitter." (classic)

Jonah : "When these special effects are done, it's gonna look really cool."

Jonah : (singing as Akton) "Believe or not, I'm not William Katt.."

Tom : "This music has convinced me. It's not a giant golden toilet."

Crow : "Are we in hyperspace, or are we looking at a screensaver?"

Crow : "And chili peppers burned its guts!" (callback)

Crow : "When Croods attack!"

(reacting to the gold mask that shoots lasers)
Tom : "Poomaman?"
Jonah : "Pyoomaman."
Crow : "Pyoo-may-mun." (Callback)

Jonah : (as Akton) "I can be humanlike!" (funnier in context, but he just nails the delivery)

And the extended series of gag ship names as they launch into the final battle, recalling the brilliance of Space Mutiny's Big McLargehuge.

Kickstarter Backers : I'm on this one! Alphabetically, it goes up to Jeremy Fallecker.

Stinger : Akton is delighted.

ShadowFacts 06-29-2017 08:04 AM

I think Starcrash may have been my favorite from the whole new season. I was howling all the way through. Not a single person made one correct decision during the making of this movie. I'm going to have to go back and watch it again.

Maus Magill 06-30-2017 03:21 PM


Originally Posted by ShadowFacts (Post 20312455)
I think Starcrash may have been my favorite from the whole new season. I was howling all the way through. Not a single person made one correct decision during the making of this movie. I'm going to have to go back and watch it again.

Not true. They cast Christopher Plummer. That is never a wrong choice.

CandidGamera 07-05-2017 08:42 AM

11.7 - The Land That Time Forgot
Film : The Land That Time Forgot
Episode : 204 (counting the MST3K Movie)
Secret Number : 012

Film Synopsis : World War 1 Era Germans and Brits succumb to the dull, plodding leadership of the one American among them as they discover a Land Before .. er, no, a Land Time Forgot. With cavemen and dinosaurs.

Series and Episode Thoughts : This one is the least of the new episodes, I think. I may revise that thought as I rewatch the back half of the season, but the movie just doesn't do a goddamn thing for me, and the riffing is somewhat tepid. It's not bad, mind you. Just .. meh. Totally saved by one of the best host segments of all time, though.

Important Stuff : Jonah calls for the 'Jetscreen' to show evidence of Kinga's perfidy. Ardy calls from Moon 14 about part of the movie that spilled - a segment of the Brits taking the submarine back from the Germans that was cut for time, presumably. There's only one novel on the SOL, and it's a John Grisham.

HS 1 : It's Gypsy's Birthday! And Tom's and Crow's, technically..

Invention Exchange : Jonah's got M. Night Shyamalan Living Magazine; Kinga produces the Elder Pump and the gang catches her and Max stealing invention ideas from their riffs.

HS 2 : The gang is playing U-Boat, which Gypsy hates. They're so convincing that they momentarily attract a space squid that attacks the SOL.

HS 3 : The best Host Segment yet. Moon 14 Mesozoic Ranch Dinosaur BBQ, with a goddamn earworm of a jingle and a spirit that invokes Mike's Bold 'Rick-o-SHAY' BBQ sauce. "Flame-broiled Deep-fried Crime Against Nature ... Moo-oon Fourteen!"

HS 4 : Crow is concerned about when he'll turn human. So Jonah 'disables' that function for him.

HS 5 : Inspired by the film, Jonah sends a rambling message in a bottle. Predictably, Max is the one who finds it.

Memorable Riffs :

We get two Hikeeba's, and a couple of Blank AS Blank IN the Blank Story gags. There's also a good running gag about the British officer, Mr. (Milton) Bradley. And we get Crow's Morgan Freeman impression. (And sadly, a couple of Andrew Dice Clay lines..)

Tom : "Hi, I'm Doug McClure. You might remember me from such films as.."

Jonah : "Finally, me Pringles arrived."

Crow : "And they say there's no application for the Oculus Rift."

Jonah : "All these guys are cosplaying as the same Tintin character."

Jonah : "It's a good thing water kills Germans on contact."

Tom : "It's Dirty Debbie Harry."

Jonah : "Oh, no, it's going under the wall! The Night's Watch will never see this coming!"

Crow : "I've got a visual on something living in a pineapple under the sea."
Tom : "Take the shot."

Crow : "Now THAT's a Paleo diet."

Crow : "Jim Henson's Lou Ferrigno Babies!" (classic riff style)

Jonah : "If this takes any longer, the dinosaurs are gonna evolve into birds and fly away!"

Jonah : "Watch out for snakes." (callback)

Tom : "Grant Wood's 'Land That Time ForGot-hic.'"

Kickstarter Backers : Up to Justin Bodeutsch.

Stinger : Ahm vs. Pterodactyl.

Mahaloth 07-05-2017 08:55 AM

My wife and I thought "The Land That Time Forgot" seemed like a pretty good movie, actually. If I saw that in the theater as a kid, I would have considered it a good use of my money.

Funny episode, too. This movie does go on my "best movies MST3K used" list, though.

I also think Bloodlust! is a solid movie, especially since it was edited down.

CandidGamera 07-05-2017 12:14 PM

To each their own! I think it falls prey to the same trap as a lot of seventies science fiction - a phenomenon I call 'glacial majesty', where the filmmakers show you an allegedly impressive special effect, for a very long time, without anything really happening. As the special effect ages (poorly), the tenuous value of lingering on it for a long damn time evaporates.

I was born in '78 - I don't have time for Stanley Kubrick to show me a space station rotating for ten minutes of Zarathustra. :)

Mahaloth 07-05-2017 02:24 PM


Originally Posted by CandidGamera (Post 20325135)
I was born in '78 - I don't have time for Stanley Kubrick to show me a space station rotating for ten minutes of Zarathustra. :)

I was born in '78 as well and while I don't re-watch 2001 very often, it is impressive in its own way.

CandidGamera 07-06-2017 08:24 AM


Originally Posted by Mahaloth (Post 20325420)
I was born in '78 as well and while I don't re-watch 2001 very often, it is impressive in its own way.

To me, it just feels slow and plodding. Again, to each their own.

CandidGamera 07-11-2017 08:15 AM

11.8 - The Loves of Hercules
Film : The Loves of Hercules
Episode : 205 (counting the MST3K Movie)
Secret Number : 005

Film Synopsis : Wow, they found another Hercules movie! I'm really not sure how tight the continuity on the Herc series is supposed to be, but in this one, he fights a puppet monster and a guy in an animal suit, and meets a disposable love interest, played by Jayne Mansfield. So I suppose it fits .. literally anywhere in the canon.

Series and Episode Thoughts : Okay, you know what? I take it back. This episode is even better than Starcrash. Watching it a second time let me really soak it in, and the riffing is great, and the movie's kind of ridiculous on its own, thanks to Mickules's accent. This episode also felt a lot lighter on the callbacks to the original era, despite it being a Herc movie.

Important Stuff : Jonah debuts new bot M. Waverly in Host Segment 4.

HS 1 : Jonah and the Bots binge their favorite show, Wings.

Invention Exchange : Servo presents the Fried Turkey Dunk Tank, Kings tries to debut the Mexican Jumping Beanbag Chair, but Max has fouled it up.

HS 2 : Inspired by the movie, the People's Throwing Court.

HS 3 : The Bots have a lively debate about the ecology of the hydra, and monsterism vs. heroism, as Jonah protects his cereal.

HS 4 : Jonah and the Bots are gossiping Greek gals, and M. Waverly wanders in as a wisecracking centurion. Tom and Crow are NOT pleased.

HS 5 : Everyone continues the weird vocalizing from the end of the film. It's creepy, in a way.

Memorable Riffs :

There's a running gag when anyone in the movie says "Speak!" that Jonah and the Bots go "Arf!" - it's pretty good. Everyone mocks Herc's accent, but Crow's impression is notably the best. It's like.. Arnold Schwarzenegger trying to do Peter Lorre. Or vice versa.

Tom : "The Loves of Hercules : A Greco-Romantic Comedy."

Tom : "Nobody likes Vogon poetry."

Crow : "In the name of my tiny nipples!"

Jonah : "Why isn't she returning any of his serves?"

Jonah : "Time for go to bed." (classic riff callback)

Jonah : "Classic RPG move, loot the bodies."

Crow :"Thanks, Expositia!"

Jonah : "My God, it's a society founded on Busby Berkley musicals!"

Crow : "911 is a joke! Flava Flavius was right."

Tom : "Ow, my stomach-back!"

Jonah : "This Crate and Barrel delivery guy is super aggro."

Kickstarter Backers : Up to Lucas Neil.

Stinger : Herc is daintily dazed by the hydra - or had a little too much ambrosia.

CandidGamera 07-21-2017 01:21 PM

Having a chaotic week! Hoping to get Yongary on Saturday.

CandidGamera 07-24-2017 12:07 PM

11.9 - Yongary, Monster From the Deep
Film : Yongary, Monster From the Deep
Episode : 206 (counting the MST3K Movie)
Secret Number : 008

Film Synopsis : It's Godzilla, with a horn. His name rhymes with 'dungaree'. And there's an annoying kid with an itch ray who ends up being instrumental in saving the day. It's noteworthy for the gruesome death scene at the end, though!

Series and Episode Thoughts : This is a solid outing, and the riffing is good, but there's too much of the silhouette mucking-around for my personal tastes. And - holy crap, that is the most gruesome kaiju death I have ever seen. Yongary actually seems to void his bowels in bloody fashion as he breathes his last.

Important Stuff : No real introductions of new information or concepts. One bubble edit in host segment three.

HS 1 : Jonah and the Bots have a dream journal meeting.

Invention Exchange : Jonah presents TinyDesk - for rage flipping without wrecking your stuff. Kinga presents a strategic partnership with Hitler Coffee - which seems less like an invention and more like an excuse to do a cheap Hitler mustache gag, but hey, it's fun.

HS 2 : Jonah muses on the musical preferences of various space explorers.

HS 3 : Tom's Yongary Nights disco is a hit.

HS 4 : Jonah and the Bots discuss their ideal monster pals, if they were precocious children.

HS 5 : Jonah and the Bots sing 'Push Past the Hurting', reflecting on the gruesome death of Yongary.

Memorable Riffs : Not too many classic callbacks in this one, other than the Mole People nod, and an 'I'm huge!'. The Capsule running gag is pretty funny.

Crow : "The center lane is for newlyweds only."

Tom : "Problem Child 4 : He's Korean Now."

Jonah : "The first joint Korea / Zebra space launch."

Crow : "Wow, the mole people are really blazing it up."

All : "CAPSULE!"

Jonah (pretending to read sign) : "'No earthquakes allowed'? That'll do it."

Jonah (reacting to flashing lights in the movie) : "We got movie sign!"
(he and the Bots get up and start to run towards the edge of the theater)

Tom : "How did Dad do it? At this rate, I'll never die of overwork."

Crow : "He shows no mercy! Or interest."

Tom : "Like a Mothra to a flame."

Kickstarter Backers : Up to Michael N. Butera.

Stinger : Yongary busts a move.

CandidGamera 08-07-2017 09:15 AM

11.10 - Wizards of the Lost Kingdom
C'mon, guys, if you don't respond there's less motivation for me to do this in a timely fashion. ;)

Film : Wizards of the Lost Kingdom
Episode : 207 (counting the MST3K Movie)
Secret Number : 004

Film Synopsis : Deathstalker, Junior. I mean, I know it sounds flip, but this is the platonic ideal of a shitty 80's fantasy movie for kids. It even has Thom Christopher and a lot of the music cues from Deathstalker 3.

Series and Episode Thoughts : One of my favorite episodes of the new season, right up there with Starcrash and the Loves of Hercules. Just solid riffing throughout.

Important Stuff : Host Segment One teases some set-up for the season finale. Segment Four has the return of viewer mail! .. Somehow.

HS 1 : Max is writing in his diary. He has apparently found a key that gives him access to a giant robot snake 'friend'.

Invention Exchange : Jonah presents Verbal Smoke Bombs, for escaping conversations. Kinga monetizes time itself with the Sponsor Clock.

HS 2 : Jonah and the Bots debate Kor's epithet, 'the Conqueror'.

HS 3 : A musical number, 'the Magic Inside of You', about Tom's coming of age as a budding necromancer.

HS 4 : Viewer mail!

HS 5 : The Suicide Cavern playset.

Memorable Riffs :

There's a series of riffs about Thom Christopher's hat, that Jonah and the Bots have anthropomorphized as 'Crabby' that are pretty good.

Jonah : (at the title) "How do you lose a whole kingdom?"

Crow : "It's like The Lord of the Rings without all the fancy good stuff."

Jonah : "Prepare to face the wrath of Fat Sting!"

Tom : "Walt Disney Presents : The Sword in the .. Tree."

Jonah : "She led him to the patio store?"

Tom : "Patrick Duffy IS Greg Brady IN Julius Caesar." (classic style riff)

Jonah : "And puberty blooms for Snuggles the fabric softener bear." *

Crow : "With Margaret Dumont as the Black Knight."

Tom : "Wizard of Speed and Time of the Lost Kingdom!"

Crow : "Apparently, Ovaltine is way harder to swim in than regular water."

Crow : (regarding the arrival of the gnome wizard) "He's literally too little, too late."

* Seriously, this may be the best riff of the new season, if you're paying attention to the hand motions of the white furry thing.

Kickstarter Backers : Up to Paul Mahling.

Stinger : Thom Christopher fumes after the Pool of Knowledge explodes.

Catamount 08-07-2017 10:06 AM

Wizards of the Lost Kingdom is by far my favorite episode of the whole season. If I had seen that when I was a little kid in the '80's I would have loved it. As it is, I still love it but for very different reasons.

I'm interested to see what you think of the Christmas episode. That one broke me.

ShadowFacts 08-08-2017 07:44 AM

Agreed, this one is really great. It harkens back to one of my all time favorite classic episodes, Cave Dwellers. ("How much Keefe is in this movie?") It's like a knock-off of a knock-off of Conan the Barbarian.

This is definitely on my re-watch list. The "sequel," not so much.

CandidGamera 08-08-2017 08:47 AM

I'm thinking I may need to do a best-to-worst list of the new season episodes when I am done.

Mahaloth 08-08-2017 11:15 AM


Originally Posted by CandidGamera (Post 20398220)
I'm thinking I may need to do a best-to-worst list of the new season episodes when I am done.

Please do, I would like to compare my thoughts to yours.

CandidGamera 08-14-2017 08:32 AM

11.11 - Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II
Film : Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II
Episode : 208 (counting the MST3K Movie)
Secret Number : 007

Film Synopsis : If WotLK was Deathstalker, Junior - then this is its younger, Billy Carter-esque sibling. The two movies have nothing to do with one another, apart from the title. Here, our young wizard journeys through three lands to reclaim the powers of creation from evil wizards, encountering padding in the form of clips from other, better fantasy movies along the way. It is also, allegedly, a comedy.

Series and Episode Thoughts : The setup for the finale continues to take shape, and we get another visit from the previous Mads crew.

Important Stuff : Ardy spots a movie spill - footage of David Carradine fighting the monstrous Guardian. (From The Warrior and the Sorceress, originally, I guess.) We get a little more insight into Pearl's clone, Synthia.

HS 1 : It's raining outside the SOL.

Invention Exchange : Jonah presents the emoji version of Cliff Notes - GIF Notes! (Note the correct pronunciation - 'Jiff'). Kinga presents fluffy creatures who just want to be kicked - Punt Bunnies!

HS 2 : The Dark One's Renaissance Inn and Grille Franchise video.

HS 3 : You Might Be a Crummy Wizard If..

HS 4 : Pearl and the gang visit as Kinga worries about ratings. Brain Guy gets one of the best lines in the episode - he points out Kinga can't marry one of the robots, that's still illegal, scoffing "And they call this the not-too-distant future!"

HS 5 : Healing the pain of bad movies, with good movies.

Memorable Riffs :

Jonah : "Goodnight, moon - forever."

Crow : "Hell's bells, it's Mel Welles."

Crow : "Bobby Fischer IS Renegade." (classic style)

Tom : "Kung Fu : The Insults Continue."

Caedmon : "Shut up and just act interested in things."
Crow : "Is he talking directly to us?"

Crow : "Time for go to bed." (callback)

Jonah : "It's like if the Hunger Games was set in the medieval 80's."

Tom : "Gulfax, no!" (callback to the previous movie)

Tom "Samurai Manos?" (callback)

Jonah : "He's regenerating!"

Tom : "I guess Tyor run Bartertown now."

Crow : "You're the wizard, now, dog."

Kickstarter Backers : Up to S. Chavera and C. Singh.

Stinger : A near-fatal spinach overdose. Alternate joke : Stretch arm strong.

Catamount 08-14-2017 06:12 PM

I love how David Carradine gave exactly zero fucks throughout the movie. It was a paycheck gig for him and he didn't care who knew it.

CandidGamera 08-15-2017 08:07 AM


Originally Posted by Catamount (Post 20413300)
I love how David Carradine gave exactly zero fucks throughout the movie. It was a paycheck gig for him and he didn't care who knew it.

A paycheck for half a movie's work, too, since half of his appearance in this movie was cribbed from The Warrior and the Sorceress. Lana Clarkson does a little better, sorta reprising her role as the Barbarian Queen.

ShadowFacts 08-15-2017 10:41 AM

I have to say this one was a downer for me. Maybe my expectations were too high based on the first one, but I was pretty bored throughout.

"Hell's bells, it's Mel Welles" does make me chuckle, though :)

CandidGamera 08-28-2017 01:20 PM

Been a bit busy dealing with an IRL Circus, should be getting to re-watch and review the next MST experiment shortly.

Incidentally, Joel seemed to be coy in the latest Kickstarter backer update, but it sounds like they're talking renewal with Netflix.

CandidGamera 08-31-2017 11:48 AM

11.12 - Carnival Magic
Film : Carnival Magic
Episode : 209 (counting the MST3K Movie)
Secret Number : 005

Film Synopsis : Carnival psychic and his talking Chimp kill time with mild hijinks for about sixty minutes, before some slight peril is injected by his rival trying to sell the chimp to a vivisectionist. Makes The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Decided to Stop Living and Become Mixed-Up Zombies look like Double Indemnity.

Series and Episode Thoughts : There's no getting around it, it's a weak episode. Plus the movie's hard to look at - it looks like the filmmaker adjusted the visual playback speed slightly in some scenes to slow the thing down to hit feature length. Also getting tired of nearly every prop in the show being a woodcut.

Important Stuff : Mark Freakin' Hamill guest-stars in host segment #4. Segment #5 has a cameo by a purple-jumpsuited Kickstarter backer, taking Jonah's place on a monitor for a few moments. And Kinga proposes.

HS 1 : Servo gives a Tom Talk - features a Bubble Edit.

Invention Exchange : Kinga pitches her marriage idea. We get the Yeasta Pet from Jonah and the Bots, and Flavor Sweat drinks from Max and Kinga.

HS 2 : Servo plays a carnival pitchman and Crow plays Alex the chimp, as they mock the mundanity of Alex's dialogue.

HS 3 : Tom and Crow exchange colorful police slang.

HS 4 : Mark Hamill as P.T. Mindslap, proprietor of the Great Space Circus Show. There's a song, but it's kind of a weak one.

HS 5 : A parade of woodcuts based on the movie, as Kinga and Max narrate. What is with the freakin' woodcuts, anyway?

Memorable Riffs :
There's a good running gag of the crew responding 'Polov!' every time a character in the movie calls for Markov.

Crow : "This guy is the lowest-rent Bond villain I've ever seen."

Jonah (as Markov) : "They never found the talking chimp who did it."

Jonah : "Paramount Pictures presents : Every Which Way But Why?"

Crow : "Rainn Wilson as Sergeant Mark David Chapman."

Tom : "What does it say about someone when they're wearing less clothing than their chimp?"

Crow : "I've seen mannequins have livelier conversations than this."

Jonah : "Watch out for snakes." (Callback)

Crow : "Hey, did you guys realize this thing takes place at a carnival?"

Tom : "Mongo only pawn in game of life."

Crow : "I wonder if the clairvoyant, talking chimp will figure out a way past the bored nurse?"

Tom : "Law and Order : Carnival Crimes Unit."
Crow : "Dun-dun."

There's an extended series of riffs at the credits where Tom and Crow muse about the Carnival Magic franchise, building an entire fictitious filmography for the producer that's pretty funny.

Kickstarter Backers : Up to Tassie Drageskogen.

Stinger : The Sheriff is towed away atop his cruiser.

Catamount 08-31-2017 12:03 PM

I thought the part where Jonah & the Bots got overly enthusiastic about Alex the Chimp pouring himself a glass of orange juice was one of the best bits in the entire show. Other than that, it was very painful. There was hurting but not as deep as the Christmas episode. *shudder*

ShadowFacts 09-01-2017 12:03 PM

There's no question this is a dreary movie that the boys are unable to salvage. There's just something so skeevy about the whole thing. The Carnival Magic "franchise" riff at the end is really great, though.

CandidGamera 09-11-2017 10:02 AM

11.13 - The Christmas That Almost Wasn't
Film : The Christmas That Almost Wasn't
Episode : 210 (counting the MST3K Movie)
Secret Number : 014

Film Synopsis : Oh, man. Santa's Scrooge-ian landlord hates kids and wants to ruin Christmas, and will do so unless Santa can come up with the rent money by Christmas eve. This movie is the equivalent of a filmic fruitcake, utterly inedible and made of bits that nobody wants. Also : Terrible songs.

Series and Episode Thoughts : Our penultimate episode of the 11th season, they're clearly still building towards the marriage plot for the finale. We get a Joel cameo as Santa, and they're trying their damnedest to invoke the spirit of MST3K's previous Christmas episodes, but the movie's just not up to snuff.

Important Stuff : Nothing of note, apart from Joel's cameo (beyond his usual role as Ardy)

HS 1 : Jonah and the Bots are Christmas Caroling, nobody knows the lyrics to Good King Wenceslas.

Invention Exchange : Some wedding preparations. Jonah presents the Re-Gifter; Kinga and Max present Humbug FM, an antidote to omnipresent Christmas music.

HS 2 : Jonah and the Bots review (negatively) classic children's toys. Bubble Edit.

HS 3 : Jonah and the Bots take time to examine some of the creepy toys featured in the actual movie.

HS 4 : Joel pops up as Santa, to chat with Jonah and the Bots.

HS 5 : Mimicking a section of the movie that devolved into stills, Jonah and the Bots exchange Christmas sweaters in a series of stills.

Memorable Riffs : Lots of Dune references in this one, oddly. The running gag about the Lawyer wanting to be treated as Santa's little baby is funny, but also creepy.

Tom : "This must be what it's like to live inside an advent calendar."

Jonah : "Topol IS Santa!"

Crow : "Do you even chair, bro?"

Crow : "Whoa, this tea kicked in fast."

Tom : "Oh, good, a rhyming dictionary."

Jonah : "Nightmare fuel!" (Callback)

Tom : "What did they cut out of this movie if this is what they kept?"

Crow : "Jonah, can't we just get Beyond Thunderdome?" (Callback)

Tom : "Weekend at Bernie's 3 : Blossom's Revenge."

Jonah : "Is he summoning Beetlejuice to help Santa?"

Crow : "I've never been so grateful for a cutaway."

Kickstarter Backers : Up to Wil Shipley, covers a lot of 'The's'. (e.g., 'The Andersons').

Stinger : Santa learns to laugh, and laughs too hard.

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