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Old 03-22-2002, 08:16 AM
RTA RTA is offline
Join Date: Apr 1999
Posts: 1,870
What's this Xenu sham thingy about?
Ahem - Allow me!

Xenu was a galactic warlord who ruled this sector of the galaxy 75 million years ago. One day he policed up all the rebels and brought them to Earth (only back then it was called "Teegeeack"). He put them all in the caldera of the great volcano on the big island of Hawaii and dropped hydrogen bombs on them, killing them (for a re-enactment of this event, consult the picture of the erupting volcano on the cover of Dianetics).

Unfortunately for us humans, the ghosts of these rebels (the "thetans"), having been vaporized and scattered by the explosion, now infest all our bodies in varying numbers. They cause headaches and phobias and basically every type of sickness, disease, and dysfunction you could name.

Thank God that L. Ron Hubbard came up with a way of exorcising these spirits, otherwise I don't know WHAT we'd do! Oh, but you have to be a member of the cult. And you have to pay to have each thetan removed. And, you can't tell for yourself how many thetans you have left in you, only a trained "auditor" can do that. And sometimes a thetan will infiltrate back into your system, causing further inconvenience and requiring more "auditing" etc.

You might say, "what a wacky story". Well actually, it is. But if you join the cult of $cientology, you don't actually get to hear it until you reach a level called "OT 3" ("Operating Thetan 3"). One might go a few years in the cult before being allowed to purchase and read the story of Xenu! OT 3 comes after OT's 2 and 1 and a few other, lesser levels of spiritual enlightenment. By then, most $cientologists will basically believe anything the cult tells them, or are too afraid to ask questions.

BTW, I am happy to see the wicked cult discussed on this board. (Used to be, many moons ago, I was the only 'Doper who wanted to talk about how sick and weird they are.)