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Old 09-03-2016, 09:02 PM
TruCelt TruCelt is offline
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Near Washington, DC
Posts: 10,058
Howard Wolowitz (Big Bang Theory) has some hilariously horrific ones. I don't have specifics, but along the lines of "That's the day I grate the dead skin off my Mother's heels." It's really the squicked out shudder that sells it.

I volunteered for a medical trial so I'm in quarantine on the weekends. Yeah, they're using live virus apparently . . .

I have a weekly appointment to get my abscess drained.

The voices said "no."

The Mothership will be in range soon; I have to get the beacon going.

I'll be working on my car. Yeah, gotta replace those muffler bearings.