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Old 01-23-2017, 09:54 AM
Dangerosa Dangerosa is offline
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Twin Cities, Minnesota
Posts: 21,775
Originally Posted by John Mace View Post
I mean this not as threadshitting, but just to offer another perspective:

I'm all for funerals, although we generally call them "a celebration of life", but as an atheist I've always believed these events are for the living. Let the folks who know and care about me select the music they would like to hear. This is their gig-- I'm gone.
They are for the living, but for them to be comforting to the living, they also have to be about the dead. Its stressful to the living to not know what your wishes would have been - at a stressful time. So, if you can leave some instructions - simple ones - "cremation, wake, someone reads "Crossing the Bar," crank up some Pink Floyd and drink" it can make it a hella less stressful.

(Someone who had to do the funeral arrangements for someone who didn't leave clear instructions - and then had the family arguing about what needed to be done - with lots of stress and recriminations and "that isn't what he would have wanted" and "but that isn't what I want" - and then three months later - we found the instructions )