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Old 04-24-2017, 04:05 PM
wonky wonky is offline
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: DC area
Posts: 30,026
Originally Posted by Enola Gay View Post
My husband has some habits that annoy the shit out of me. For example, he is a very noisy eater & is always talking with his mouth full. He also tells the same stories over and over again & leaves his crap all over the house (I like everything neat & am constantly cleaning up). I've tried to get him to change these habits, but they are just too deeply ingrained and at his age, I have to learn to live with them. I am sure I have very annoying habits too, but he is very laid back and nothing seems to bother him. He is truly a great guy, so the decent thing to do would be to learn to just chill and accept them.

Please give me strategies to cope. I'm sure anyone who has been married for a long time has dealt with this so please share your wisdom!
For me, I generally stop and think "Why is this thing pissing me off? Because if I'm pissed off because of a sock or a glass, what the fuck is up with that?" (I rarely actually do, but it's been known to happen.)

I try to follow the source of the pissed-offness. Generally, it means that I'm either feeling taken for granted or the related feeling that my time is less valuable than his. But if I think about that at all I recognize how goofy that is. This is someone who highly respects me and my time and he shows that in so many ways daily. I don't want him to be more focused on that.

So, I think the fundamental thing for me has ended up being that I need not to take things that someone does casually as some sort of indictment of his or my character. He's not making a statement.

Other people might not come from the same POV, but this is what works for me, most of the time.